The sunlight wakes me up. Tyler’s arm is wrapped around me, his warm chest pressed against my bare back. At one point, this is exactly how I imagined my life—waking up to him every morning. My chest tightens and I fight back tears because as much as I want this, I know it could never work. If I ask him to quit, I’m afraid he’ll resent me, and besides, I’ve got my career.

If this series works out for me and I end up getting roles in movies, I’ll be gone more than I’ll be home and how is that fair to him? The people we’ve turned into aren’t the kind of people who can hold down a relationship, and to be honest, neither of us are that responsible. I think maybe I should wake him up and tell him goodbye, but goodbyes suck. And, let’s be honest, I tell him goodbye, I tell him this can go nowhere, we’ll argue. I’ll end up in tears. I would rather have this memory. Is it selfish? Yes. Is it the coward’s way out? Absolutely. But we all have our faults, and mine is letting this boy go.

I start to get up, but the second I move, he holds me tighter. “Stay,” he says in a sleepy voice. “Just stay a little bit longer.”

Fighting against the emotions tearing me up on the inside, I relax and give into him. I close my eyes and fall back asleep in the arms of the boy who will always be my entire world, even if he can never really be mine.

The sound of the smoke alarm startles me awake. I sit bolt upright in the empty bed, my heart pounding. I start toward the door and realize I’m naked. Fuck. This is why you don’t sleep naked. Thankfully, I find my clothes at the foot of the bed, throw them on, and hurry into the hallway where there’s a thin cloud of smoke creeping along the ceiling.

“Fucking shit, Jake.” Heather’s voice floats down the hall. “The bacon’s fucking black. What are you trying to do, burn the house to the ground? Jesus!”

“I didn’t mean to burn it. You’re the one that wanted bacon.”

“Well, I don’t want charred bacon.”

“Then you should have checked it while I was taking a shit.”

“Oh, God. You’re such a fucking guy.”

I grab onto the wall and hold my other hand to my chest, my heart banging against my ribs as I attempt to calm down. Heather walks into the hall, fanning her hand in front of her face. She stops when she sees me.

“Well, hello. I didn’t know you were here.” She smiles before opening the front door to let some of the smoke out.

“Yeah... where’s Tyler?”

She shrugs. “Hey asshole, where’s Porn Scum?”

“He went to work.”

“He went to work,” Heather repeats and my stomach knots.

“Yeah. I heard the asshole.” It shouldn’t bother me that he’s at work because I knew this was not going anywhere, but it does. “Do you have your car?” I ask.

“No, you need to go home?”

“Yeah, I gotta get packed.”

“God,” Heather says with a smile. “I can’t believe you got that role! I’m so excited and pissed at the same time. I don’t want you to leave me.”

“I know…”

“It’s gonna take a while to get over the void, you know?”

“I know.”

Heather narrows her gaze, studying me. “I’ll take you home, but we’re obviously gonna have to get breakfast anyway since fucker in there can’t cook.”

“Fuck off,” Jake calls from the kitchen.

“So, are you two a thing or something?” I ask, arching a brow.

“Uh, fuck buddies. He’s hung, he’s good in bed, and I’m horny. Works out well.”

Nodding my head, I go back inside Tyler’s room to grab my things. I sit on the edge of the bed to slip my shoes on, and my eyes land on a stack of mail on the corner. I take a pen from my purse and scrawl a note on the back of an empty envelope then toss it in the middle of his bed, telling myself sometimes love just isn’t enough before I leave.