CHAPTER FIVE

“It’s the lost chapter of Beauty and the Beast.” - Krusher

 

His torture kept throwing the hits.

As much as he believed Gia would stay away from him he forgot she was a Marinos. Stubborn fuckers all of them.

She turned up at the club several days later. His mood was shot for shit. Krusher was the only one who approached Hawk as he crept like a ghoul around the clubhouse, feeling like he was hemmed in, crawling out of his own skin.

He wanted a fuck.

He wanted a fight.

And not necessarily in that order.

But nothing whetted his tongue.

Nothing calmed the beast pounding in his chest.

All because that little bit had kissed the fuck out of him.

God. She’d kissed him. Let him into her mouth and she tasted as sweet as he remembered.

He’d kissed Gia once before. Only once and it was the start of his obsession.

The addiction beat alongside his heart in a staccato rap.

He thought about all the men who looked at her daily and wanted to kill them all.

Men were pricks. Him included. Him most of all.

She’d gone and made him so much worse by kissing him.

He was tortured by her taste and the feel of her soft scraping against his hardness.

And she didn’t have a clue how so much darker she’d made his madness.  

 

“You have no fucking idea, little bit of a thing, so old are you that you know everything? So worldly with the round eyes and the way you see the good in everything, even me. Forget everything you fucking think you know. The second I was inside you people would know, you’d be different, they’d treat you differently, tarred with my fucking ruined brush, all the rumors flying around, people who had once been your friends because they’d know I had hands all over you. I don’t fuck like a gentleman, little bit, I fuck like an animal, that stains a little girl like you. You want pretty-fucking-romance, to show off a man to your friends, to go to parties with him on your arm, so fucking meek and boring, that’s not me, will never be me. I’m not normal, the wiring is not right in my head, and I’m not for you, walk away before I’ve had my mouth on that pussy and drank down your honey, because if you don’t and I taste you, I feel how it is to shove my cock as deep and as hard as I can inside you, it’s all over, you get me? You hearing what I’m telling you? Game over, ‘cause I don’t play by anyone's rules but my own and my rules are nasty, my rules are fucking filthy.”

 

The memory of the night he kissed seventeen-year-old Gia came back often. Most times when Hawk didn’t want her sweetness in his head. He reminded himself he was intentionally crude to her that night to shake her off, to make the stars in her eyes for him disappear. He’d stepped in and helped when a punk-ass tried to cop a feel of her. He became her hero. He saw it and still it hadn’t stopped Hawk from putting lips on her when he dropped her off at home. He told himself he’d looked out for her because of Rider. She was his sister and Hawk his friend. Naturally he’d stop an asshole from groping her. That lie kept him going for years. Not allowing the fact that he’d noticed her already, long before that night and wanted to do the same as a dirty, old pervert.

He’d never wanted anyone more to belong to him wholly, then and now.

Every dream.

Every fantasy.

Every whispered secret.

He wanted it all to belong to him.

Because monsters liked to own things. To make them as dirty as they were.

Krusher knocking on the bar brought Hawk’s attention up. He had a coffee in front of him and his phone waiting to hear from Lawless. “Best put your game face on, son.” The old man grinned a shit eating grin and Hawk scowled.

“You been on the mushrooms for breakfast, old man?” Damn fool always smiling like he wasn’t one foot in the grave. He watched him hobble out from behind the bar to scrub the other end with a rag. Hawk grumbled frustrated and popped up from his seat. “Where the fuck is your cane? I’m not catching you if you fall.”

Krusher huffed. “It makes me feel old. I don’t need it,” he hobbled some more. “Just a bad hip. I’ll walk it off.”

“You are old. Use the fucking cane.” Hawk found it behind the bar and thrust it at him. No idea why he cared if the old goat used it or not. Hawk wouldn’t pick the bag of bones up off the floor if he fell. Krusher huffed offended almost made Hawk laugh. “You never know, those aging bitches at your old people’s club might get a kick out of it, might get ‘em juicy and you laid, old man.” He offered and Krusher laughed, pointing a crooked, arthritic finger behind Hawk. “Speaking of. Good luck, son.”

What do you know. Gia walking in like a goddamn runway model.

Every heartbeat in his chest stopped.

Spit dried on his tongue.

His traitorous dick woke up and fought the zipper on his pants. Jesus. Christ. He took a seat and rested arms on the bar. With any luck she was here to find her old man.

He looked forward and ignored his eyes that wanted to stare and devour her in a pair of bleached shorts and the little tank top. She was tan and beauty.

“Subtle,” cackled Krusher. Hawk sent him a vicious glare. “Real subtle, boy. Smile, you don’t wanna scare the girl.”

Yes, he did. He wanted to scare her away for good even as his fingers ached to yank her forward into his chest and sniff her hair like a weirdo.

He still tasted her on his tongue. All fucking night long.

“Hello, darlin’. Boy, this is a treat for the old eyes seeing you again so soon.” That old shithead beamed a grin behind Hawk’s shoulder, missing teeth and wrinkled skin on display like he was goddamn Casanova. Hawk was ready to knock his remaining teeth out of Krusher’s head if he didn’t dim the flirting with Gia. No matter how ridiculous it sounded.

Hawk grunted under his breath, hunching his shoulders. All too aware of the presence standing right there. Her heat nearly burning him.

He wanted to shut her mouth with his cock. Real damn deep, fill her up, make her as nasty as he was. He was a real prince for the filthy things swirling in his head.

And she was star of the show.

“This is not how spending time together works, Hawk. you don’t call. You don’t write.” Gia tutted making Krusher cackle. Hawk sent him one glare and luckily the old man shuffled off down the bar. “Use your fucking cane.” He said with a growl.

“That was nice of you. Though your delivery needs work.”

“I’m not nice.” He rasped.

He wanted to gorge on her.

Just inhale her until she wore his soiled brand.

She chuckled, and the noise rolled fire through his gut. “I can attest.” Jesus. How was he going to survive if she moved to Colorado?

He’d heard the move Rider had pulled years ago to shake off his girl. Made her believe he was getting some from another bitch. It played on Hawk’s mind for a second, he could do the same. Let Gia see he was with someone, even pretend, it would do the trick.

But he dismissed it. It would mean major fucking acting and probably allowing a woman to touch him. No thanks.

He was a punk and needed to stop being a fucking punk. If only his addiction would listen.

Swerving his head, he got his first good look at Gia up close.

She was smiling.

Lips painted some glossy peach color, her dark hair piled messily in a bun on top of her head with bits hanging down exposing her throat he wanted to suck on for days.

Mark her real nice.

Why shouldn’t he? She already owned him, heart, guts and bones.

She had a gravitational pull like the moon. If Pluto stood no chance of existing alone, then what the fuck had Hawk going for him, because every time he saw her, smelled her, heard her name mentioned he was pulled into her atmosphere, swallowed up in the beauty that was all Gia. He was a lost fucking cause if he didn’t do something about it soon.

She was every forbidden fruit cliché he could think of. You don’t fuck your best buddy’s sister/mom/aunt or anyone he was interested in first. It wasn’t written in stone, but every guy knew the code. Wanting Gia, what a deranged motherfucker he was.

At last count he had three strikes against him. One being Rider. The other being Hawk’s own fucked up self. And the third wasn’t worth mentioning or his head would explode.

“So…” her little eyebrow arched as she expected something from him. He had no clue. Maybe a kiss? A fuck? A lifelong commitment of adoration? He was down for all the above.

“If you’re looking for your old man he isn’t here.”

“Depends which old man we’re talking about.” She told him with a secretive smile touching her lips. His belly dropped. He got her meaning and his fucking dick got hard. “I’m here to see you on my lunch break. We’re supposed to spend time together.” She reminded.

Hawk’s whole face fell into a frown. Was she serious? After the way he’d left her house she still thought they could hang out like nothing happened? Jesus. This woman was either crazier than he was or damn perfect.

She slipped her hands into the shorts pockets, drawing his eyes to her hips. She was lovely. So, fucking lovely. Sleek and long yet so small he could fit her inside his shirt.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Her stubborn tone challenged.

Hawk stood suddenly. “Come on. Not doing this here,” not with a million pair of eyes all over them. He strode out into the open forecourt expecting her to follow. He was already starting up his bike when she emerged. Eyes wide. “Get in your car and follow me.”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s your lunch break. You need to eat.”

Her eyes went soft, and Hawk cursed internally for loving the look. He revved his old girl, her engine sounded pristine because he took care of her better than he did his own body. “Go on. It’s not far.”

“Okay.” Her smile was nothing short of absolute sunshine.

Sunshine. That’s what he thought of when he looked at her. She was everything warm, forgiving and welcoming.

The ride to Gem’s Eatery was uneventful if Hawk didn’t count the fact he kept eyes on Gia in the rear-view the entire time. He waited for her outside, his internal organs turning to liquid seeing how pleased she was that he’d waited as she climbed out of her car.

“I’m hungry.” She told him when he opened the door for her to go in first.

Food smells hit his nose. Scents of eggs and hash browns and strong coffee. He already saw the table he wanted, somewhere secluded in the back. Nosy asses from the club used this place to grab a fast bite and he didn’t want anyone to see him with Gia.

For her sake, not his.

He could give ten fucks what people thought of him.

But Gia lead him to the counter, sitting before he could say a word. He sighed and took the stool next to her. “What do you want?” He asked a minute into the silence as she scanned the menu.

“I think a turkey on rye? Maybe a toasted bagel? The potato and cheese soup smells delicious. I should be good and get a salad.” She chewed on her lip.

Driving Hawk mad.

The waitress looked between them. Pad and pen ready. Gia was still reading.

“I’ll take an unopened bottled water. And bring her a loaded toasted turkey with a cheese soup. And a coffee with cream.”

She gave him her little smile and for a second, he got a contact high from pleasing her.

Somehow over the low din of people talking and cutlery hitting plates and the radio in the background Hawk heard Gia’s belly rumbling. His brow puckered, anxious to get her fed. He pushed the plate and bowl closer to her when the waitress dropped them off. “Eat.”

“Aren’t you having anything? I can split it.”

He shook his head. “Eat, Gia.”

“Just as bossy as Rider.” She told him with a smile. “I’m excited to get back to Colorado for my cuddles with Harper. Have you seen her? I’m in love. She’s so cute. Probably the cutest baby in the world. I’m not even exaggerating.”

Hawk snorted, uncapping his water he drank deeply to put out the fire in his chest. “Rider’s turned into one of those doting assholes who thinks everyone wants to see fifty pictures of the same baby.”

Gia burst out laughing. “Isn’t he adorable? He sends me more pictures than Zara does. And he adds captions like ‘doodle-bug burped and scared herself.’ ‘She’s small but she took a big dump.’ He’s so gone over her.”

Yeah. Hawk got that impression, too. He was happy for his buddy.

“So, we’re in a public place. I take it you brought me here for some big speech how it was a mistake we kissed and now we can’t hang out. Am I right?” Hawk was busy watching even white teeth sink into bread that he didn’t hear her for a second.

He inhaled.

Rubbed his beard.

Fingers drummed on the counter.

“That’s about it.”

“I debunk this theory. Next.” She voiced. Carrying on eating.

Hawk shut his eyes, hypnotized from her licking her lips. The hell? “This isn’t a debate, Gia. I shouldn’t have touched you.”

“I kissed you. Get over it. Next.” She smiled closed lipped around a mouthful of food and fuck him in the face if she didn’t look gorgeous doing it.

She invaded his chest just with her presence. Reaching in and grasping his fucking heart until he couldn’t breathe.  

“Not interested in games, Gia.” I want everything.

“IF I were playing games, wouldn’t you be intrigued enough to know the rules? I mean, a VP needs to always be on his top A-game, isn’t that right? What’s the harm in spending time together?” She teased with a little smile touching her pink lips, lips he wanted to suck and bite on for days.

Her plate empty, she pushed it away to cradle the cup of coffee.

He was in her face a second later, snarling with his teeth bared, fingers gripped her chin, tipping it up making damn sure she was looking at him. Not trying to hurt her, in fact he held her like she was pure crystal.

She went on smiling like she’d won some contest already in just getting him to touch her.

“You’re playing a dangerous game if that’s the case, little bit. Being Rider’s sister won’t save you if I decide to play.”

He heard a purr coming out of her throat. “Play with me, Hawk.”  

She didn’t even have the grace to fear him when he looped fingers around her throat. If anything, her pulse slowed to a lazy roll. Hypnotic, he concentrated on that motion, the rhythmic thump to regulate his breathing.

“Never. I don’t play with little girls. And not ones who are too stupid to realize the danger they’re in.”

“Liar,” she shrugged, pushing his hand away, stepping aside. “Your loss. I’ll see you around, Hawk. Or maybe not, since that’s what you want. Thanks for the lunch.”

He sighed hard enough to feel it expand his chest. Instantly hating himself for putting that disappointed expression on her face.

Didn’t she know if circumstances were different he’d play any game she wanted. He’d start at her feet and work his way up and worship every inch of her body until she was floating.

But Hawk was who he was and what he wasn’t was good enough for her.

“Why do you keep taking every fucking angry word I say? Are you that dense?”

Though she flinched she masked a second later. “I grew up with Ajax Marinos, I’m used to prickly men who lash out first rather than discuss what they’re actually feeling.”

Jesus fuck. Now he felt ten levels lower than a bag of shit for that.

He wanted to bring her in and hold her tightly and say he was sorry over and over. Sorry for not being the kind of man who would chase her to the end of the earth, to plead just to be allowed to love her.

“Goddamn it, Gia,” he sighed, rubbing both hands on his face before he threw money on the counter and took the steps to leave. She was behind him. He paused at the door. He turned, caught her eye. “I don’t mean the shit I say,” he spoke low for her ears only, shoulders hunched beneath his leather coat. “You should stay away from me. We can’t be whatever it is you want from me. Not friends, not more. I’m not capable of it.”

“As you said, I’m stupid. I’ll see you later, Hawk.” She slipped by him. Just like that the little bit of a thing left him standing there with his dick aching and his mouth gaped open.

He was used to self-loathing, he wore that shit like a meat sack strapped to his back.

But putting hurt in her voice. Now he really fucking hated himself.

 

He still didn’t know if he could fix it without fucking with his own mind at the same time. A constantly battle between wanting to drag her near and push her away. The rest of the day was spent much the same way. He worked out. He followed one of Rex’s boys, bored out of his mind. Thinking about Gia.

When the call came into the club. Krusher sidled up to him. Hawk side-eyed the old man. Not in the mood for his gossiping tonight. He wanted to get drunk until he was in a coma.

“Put the glass down, son.” He whispered. “You got somewhere to be.”

“No, I don’t, old man.”

“Okay. Well then if you don’t mind me sending one of the prospects out to TEASERS to pick up your girl.”

Hawk’s hear reared up. Eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Kid over at the bar called, said Gia was there making a scene and she gave the club’s number as a contact.”

Jesus. Christ.

Drink abandoned, Hawk pushed back the stool and grabbed his coat and keys.

Behind him he heard a cackle and “That’s what I thought.”