CHAPTER TEN

“How to fix an anti-hero.” - Gia

 

 

Everyone changes for love to some degree. People compromise their thoughts, routines and occasionally their personalities, and they amalgamate into the love they feel. Sometimes it’s for the better, other times not, but then everyone knows ugly love isn’t real love.

It makes a person want to be better than they originally were.

When you love, all you want to do is fix.

It’s ingrained as humans to solve what they see as a problem.

As much as Gia loved, there was no fixing Hawk.

He wasn’t an easy man. God, she knew that first hand after trying for ten long years to get that maddening man to notice her. What did she have to do; stand on her head and spray glitter out of her ass?

He had no wound to dress or illness to fix with a course of drugs, but he was different from other men. It was more than evident. Not just his quiet, surly nature. It was in his every action, not least of all he was part of her brother’s biker club and they ran like naughty wolves brushing against the law.

So, in retrospect it made loving him trickier because she could see what needed fixing and she had no tools in which to do it.

All she could do was love him as he was.

And she did.

Oh, she did so much and so strong she had a real fear she’d love that man for the rest of her days and pine for him even more.

That would really suck if that happened.

But after last night … Jesus …she had a hope they were moving into a new direction and dare she hope it would be together?

Maybe it was all the orgasms she’d had in the night, but Gia felt extra peppy bumping her hips to Meghan Trainor’s Dear Husband playing from her iPod docking station. Tiny sparks fluttered around her navel when she thought of the amount of times Hawk pried her legs open and licked her stupid.

His mouth all up on her pussy until she thought she might go insane and the way his hands spanned her hips to keep her right against his open lips like he couldn’t eat her deep enough and those quiet grunts of his…she could still hear them ringing in her ears.

Hawk. Ohmygod. Please. There! Please. Again. Do it again.

Her cheeks cherry red.

Oh, man. Her hand stole to her belly to calm the crazy butterflies when she heard the familiar roar of a bike engine pulling up outside.

She hadn’t been too worried when she woke, and he wasn’t in the house. Not since he was tasked being her babysitter and she’d noticed another biker parked at the curb watching her house.

He came through the door and brought the smell of the breeze with him.

She started as she meant to go on.

Gia wasn’t embarrassed about last night and if that was the line Hawk wanted to go down then so be it. As for her, she had no intention of sweeping anything under the carpet.

“Good morning,” turning she smiled at him bracketing in the doorframe.

He grunted in reply.

Huge.

Beautiful.

If no one was looking closely they’d mistake Hawk for an average, unkempt looking man. But Gia knew what was under all that hair. And she hungered for whatever form he came in.

The beard was soft on her inner thighs, she knew that much. But the thought of her pleasure coating his hair made her blush. If she wanted more of last night, then she’d have to do something about it.

When he didn’t make a move to advance into the kitchen. She went back to refilling the pod in her coffee machine.

“You were out early. Coffee?”

He moved then. A smooth gait bringing him closer. Gia’s belly went nuts.

He kind of shuffled her out of the way with his hand to her shoulder. “I’ll do it, you sit down.”

“I can make coffee. I’m a good coffee maker, actually.”

He ignored her claims. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“You don’t need to cook for me. Is that part of your babysitter duties? Rider tell you to keep me fed?”

Soft blue eyes narrowed, Hawk used his biker boot to hook around one of her delicate dining chairs, scraping it alone the floor.

She huffed. She got the message. She plonked down in it.

“Fine. I’ll have a coffee and a piece of toast, please.”

What she really wanted was for Hawk to lean down and give her a kiss on the lips but that didn’t seem to be happening.

Her greedy gaze started at the black leather boots with the buckles and up his well-worn denim jeans molding his ass perfectly. Jesus. He didn’t seem to care a dot about vanity, but he always looked edible to her whatever he wore.

She especially loved he always smelled like motor oil and fresh spring wind. He usually wore a long black leather duster coat that went to the ankles with his club emblem on the back but today it was a short leather coat over a denim jacket and the shirt of choice today was a Metallica band shirt.

He was such a biker.

Big and bad and oh, so gorgeous.

“Where did you get to?”

Why did you leave my bed? Was what she wanted to ask.

“Had stuff to do. We’ll get the truck filled today. I got some boys dropping in to help with the heavy shit. Juicy volunteered to drive it through to Armado.”

“Really?” It was a long damn drive. She knew since she’d done it a few summers. “That’s nice of him,” she grinned when Hawk turned and put a mug and plate in front of her. The buttered toast was piled high.

His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, he’s all heart.”

Gia giggled. “Did you have to bribe him?”

He rolled a shoulder. “I told him that was what he was doing. He agreed.”

Swoon.

Reaching into his inner pocket he dropped a package on the table. “I picked up your plane ticket.”

There was only one.

“Where’s yours?”

Blond brows met in the middle of his forehead. And Gia understood then he hadn’t intended to go back to Colorado with her.

Well she wasn’t standing for that. Not when she was finally getting somewhere with him. There was no chance she was leaving him behind in Texas, so he could erect walls in the distance. It might be months more until he returned home, and in that time, he could completely ghost her.

Sipping her coffee, she waited a second. “Shouldn’t you deliver me home safely. You know, to complete the mission…”

Despite what happened with the Russian gentlemen, she didn’t really have a worry for her safety. There was no reason to believe she would be used against Rider. But to keep Hawk close, she’d play on whatever card she held. So, she added. “I’d feel better if you were with me, Hawk. In case those men come back.”

He growled.

Bingo. Gia didn’t smile.

She sipped her coffee while he pulled out his cell phone and barked at Lawless to buy him a plane ticket on her flight. “You’re the brain, I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” he ended with and hung up.

“Thank you, Hawk. That makes me feel a whole lot better.” Man, her acting skills were amazing. “Did Lawless think it would be a problem?”

He stayed across the kitchen, yet his gaze never once strayed from Gia’s face.

 “He bitched wanting to know why I didn’t just get two tickets to start with.”

“Poor Lawless. He is really smart though.”

Hawk growled low from the back of his throat and Gia suppressed a grin.

Was he aware he was jealous? That felt lovely.

“Eat your breakfast. I’ll start taking boxes out to the truck.”

The leather sole of his boots squeaked on the tiled floor when he moved abruptly.

Gia broke off a piece of toast, pushed it into her mouth. Somewhat pleased with their exchange. It could have been better but she—Hawk paused in the doorway as though he were weighing up a decision, turned and came back to her.

Her heart knocked up against her ribcage.

Placing his two large hands on her shoulders, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

He. Kissed. The. Top. Of. Her. Head.

“Make sure you eat it all.”

And then he exited as fast as he’d redirected, hefting one of the hallway boxes onto his shoulder.

Christ. He was a straight punch of adrenalin to her heart.

It took a good few minutes to calm down, so Gia could gulp her breakfast and help with the packing.  

“Careful. That one is my favorite.” She chided later giving him the stink-eye holding her ‘head shrink in session’ mug in his big, bear hand. He turned it this way and that way, glaring at it.

They almost had the kitchen stuff packed.

Her little house was becoming so barren.

Hawk scowled at the mug with its chip in the side. “It’s broken.”

“So! It still works just fine, thank you, Sotheby’s.”

“You find ugly, broken things attractive. You see your flaw, Gia?”

She didn’t think he was talking about her chipped mug any more.

She huffed with a grin across at him. “Never you mind. You just keep looking handsome and have your muscles available.”

Giving her a side glance, they got back to packing.  

After a minute’s silence.

“I like the way you look at me…watch me.”

He made a noise like a snort, a slight stain appeared on the small patch of skin not disguised in facial hair. Was he blushing? That was too adorable, and she was thrilled.

Gia was sweating, her upper arms ached, but the kitchen was empty save for the appliances.

“I don’t watch you, little bit.”

“Liar. You’ve practically followed me everywhere I went.” She was electrified.

All afternoon she’d watched him watching her from the corner of his eye and then other times she’d felt his gaze penetrating her back. Neither of them had mentioned last night, this somehow felt like visual foreplay.

 “Stop it.”

She feigned innocence. “Stop what?”

“Stop it. I won’t warn you again.”

She was getting to him and she loved it.

“You’re so seriously cranky. Do you need a time out? A nap? Some candy?”

“I need you to stop fucking baiting me. I’m not a toy. Not a man you can play with, you get me?”

“Sir, yes Sir!” She chuckled and winked at him.

“Smartass,” he said without heat.

Was that a mouth twitch she saw?

“You just smiled!” Gia made a show of putting a hand to her chest.

He grunted, grabbed the packing tape, turning his body away from hers. “Your eyes are lying, sure you don’t need glasses? I don’t smile.”

“Big liar. I saw it. I’m lightheaded from it. Do it again.”

“Fuck no. I don’t smile.” And he scowled to prove it but his not quite colorless eyes betrayed him when they dropped to her mouth and flashed.

“Fine, you don’t smile.” His back was to her. Gia stuck her tongue to the side of her cheek, pretended like she was arranging a box of cutlery. When in fact she was gearing up to wreck his calm exterior. “But that mouth does other very wicked things, Hawk. Don’t forget that. Might even be better than a smile.”

He became deathly still.

And Gia’s internal organs all cooked at once from his heated stare stealing her very soul.

Oh, god. Making this very serious man react was in a word; Stimulating.

When he spoke his voice-box had a few extra pounds of smoke added to it.

When Hawk turned fully towards her it was like he shifted the very air with the width of his shoulders and suddenly the room was five times smaller.

“Maybe you’re the one with the mouth on you, little girl. Feeling bold, are you?”

Gia cleared her throat. His stare was heated. Intimidating. Beautiful.

“I was until twenty-one seconds ago.”

Hawk exhaled, dropping his stare and he approached, and he didn’t stop coming until the tips of his boots bracketed either side of her sneakers and that very blond head of his accommodated for their size difference by hanging on his neck at an angle and she caught the scent of clean masculine sweat and soap.

Mercy. She wanted to cry mercy.

He won.

Whatever game she’d attempted to play he’d won the board.

For all her sneaky bravado plotting to engage Hawk in any kind of connection, the moment he was in touching distance she lost spit on her tongue and every inch of intelligence became something other people had.

His nearness made her dumb and eager to just lean in and smell him like a Neanderthal woman.

And then he tipped her chin up so she had no choice but to look at him.

Her skin prickled.

“Not so brave now, little bit?”

Gia shook her head.

She’d lost all feeling in her chest.

She didn’t have any doubt he’d enjoyed last night. He’d gone down on her so many times, no man does that who doesn’t like it. So, she wasn’t feeling unsure. Maybe about why he didn’t ask for her to return the oral favor. She’d wanted to. Desperately. Even when she’d tried to touch him, Hawk had grunted how he just wanted his mouth on her.

What was Gia to say to that? She’d been mindless with pleasure.

Air returned to her lungs when he backed up.

“Why is someone like you single? Are all the men in Austin fucking morons?”

Gia chuckled. He was cute to think she’d have men banging down her door for a date. She was no one special. But then some of the blame landed on her toes, she didn’t pay other men much attention.

The main reason she was single was standing in front of her with his perma-scowl marring his forehead.

“What about the preppy jackass who carries a briefcase?”

She frowned. Who? There was only one man she knew who fit the description. “Do you mean Leo?”

He growled, making her eyes ping open. Then he went on to describe the exact car Leo drove. Yeah, it was him. “How do you know about him?”

He ignored her. “Why aren’t you dating the briefcase?”

“I don’t want to date him.” She shrugged and moved across the room to collect debris littering the floor. “I have good friends, a nice job, I have a ton of vibrators. I never have to worry about a jackass trying to find my clitoris. Dating is overrated. Idiots need a map, it’s not hard to find, it’s in the same place it always was.”

Gia completely missed the reaction Hawk was having until he spoke in a dragged-deep voice.

“Hold it. Back it up.”

She blinked. “What?”

“You have a ton of … vibrators?” His voice rattled like a cannon ready to shoot its load.

She stalled, numb in the tips of her fingers. His eyes were … intense. Two black pin pricks for pupils.

Gia stifled her embarrassed smile. “Maybe not a ton, a few. I call them Hawk.”

Hawk moved so fast his hip made the chair slide across the floor and he prowled back down the hallway, she heard him take the stairs. What in the world? Frowning, her chest beating hard in a disjointed thump she quickly followed.

And found him pulling open drawers in her bedroom.

“Hawk! What do you think you’re doing?”

“I want to see these tons of sex toys you call by my name.”

“Ohmygod. Are you fucking crazy?”

He kept searching. He wouldn’t find them. She sighed and rolled her eyes, folding her arms. “They’re under the bathroom sink.” She muttered helpful. She never for a second thought the next time she got him back in her bedroom it was because he was combing for her battery-operated lovers.

Men were weird. Was it a wonder she didn’t date often?

He stalked into the en-suite bathroom and came out carrying the familiar pink basket.

Jesus, Hawk cradling her vibes, could today get any more embarrassing?

The way his heavy lids fell over his eyes caused a riot of fire sensation low in her abdomen.

He didn’t rifle through the basket. Nor did he dump the sex cargo out onto the bed, but he did look down at the cradled basket for a long time.

Silently assessing her loot.

“Okay, you can put them back now.”

Surprisingly he did.

Her cheeks stayed flamed.

“Do you want more of what I did last night?” The question came so quiet it barely sounded like words at all.

Her ovaries started hurting in a really good way.

He was softness surrounded by landmines.

She should have been aware of what to expect from that kind of invitation with a man like Hawk, even she could see how unstable he was behind his stare, and in some ways that was part of the appeal wasn’t it? He was not like any other man she’d known.

Hawk was excitement screaming in her blood stream.

Not that she wanted to fix him, how stupid a woman was to think that, you take a man as he is, or you carry on walking.

“Careful how you answer…” he warned. “I would wear you down to dust if you gave me the chance. I have a hunger in my gut, Gia. A hunger you put there and only you can satiate me.”

Three feet of bedroom floor separated them and for a second, she wondered if he meant right now while his biker boys were outside waiting to drive the big-ass truck they’d filled with her entire life.

But while Hawk was gazing at her mouth and the way her chest became agitated with air it didn’t seem to register when all she could do was nod stupidly and croak. “Yes.”

His sudden shift took her by surprise, he moved without her seeing, his body taut with muscle, so many bulging muscles through his t-shirt all working to hold him towering over her, not quite touching.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, little bit.” He smiled truly this time. And it was pure anti-hero.

Ten thousand thoughts filtered through Gia’s mind while her heart raced. Was he going to kiss her now? Would he let her touch him this time?

She guessed she’d have to wait to find out.

He retraced his steps and as she heard the thump of his feet on the staircase his thick voice travelled back to her. “We get this all packed up… then tonight, little bit.”

Tonight.

Oh, god. Tonight.

Could it be tonight already!