Chapter 27
Adam
“Why the hell are you so nervous?” Mark asked, nodding to the steering wheel where my knuckles were turning white.
“I’m not. I was just thinking.” I dropped one of my hands, flexing it to get rid of the tightness. It didn’t relieve the brick that seemed to have buried itself in my chest since Mark asked if I’d come with him to get a tattoo. I’d already gotten my new ink for the tour, and he’d finally manned up and decided he wanted one. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing West after River picked up her stuff. She seemed fine, but I didn’t know what those boxes would translate to with him. I parked the car, and Mark unbuckled, grabbing the car door handle. I kept my hand on the steering wheel as I stared ahead.
“You look like you’re going to shit your pants, man,” Mark said, pursing his lips. “What did you do this time that would piss West Brighton off?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Mark scoffed before getting out of the car. I stayed seated and he stuck his head back in. “Pansy.”
I turned the car off and followed him in. West nodded at me from where he was filling out paperwork behind the desk.
“What’s up, man?” Temp asked, and I nodded at Mark.
“I want a tattoo,” Mark said, and he looked down at West who continued with his paperwork. “You interested?”
West leaned back and pointed his pen at Temp. “Why don’t you check out Temp’s stuff?”
Mark followed Temp back to his station, and I tipped back on my heels. West dropped the pen on his paperwork, weaving his hands behind his neck as he stared down at it.
I cleared my throat, and West looked up. “Awkward.”
He ran his tongue over the inside of his cheek.
“A little bit.” He nodded over his shoulder. “Why don’t we go into my office?”
I followed him in, and West went to his desk, picking up a stress ball and tossing it back and forth. River and his dogs jumped at my legs and I leaned down to pet them before standing back up and watching the ball. He wouldn’t even look at me, and I knew that it had to do with those boxes, or more likely, the dress.
The words came out unfiltered.
“You know I don’t have feelings for River anymore, right?”
I watched the ball as it stopped, clasped in his hand and my gaze went up to his face.
His lips lifted in one corner. It didn’t appear to be my feelings that were bothering him.
He chuckled. “I am aware you have the hots for Tara.”
My stomach twisted, and I sat down on the couch, putting my head in my hands.
“It’s fucked up,” I said, looking up at him. His lips pursed and he shook his head before tossing the ball back onto his desk.
“You were there for each other. I think it’s kind of natural,” he replied, and I sat back, inhaling through my nose.
“I don’t know how to tell her.”
“It’s not that hard.” He leaned back against his desk, crossing his ankles in front of him. “You just tell her that you love her.”
My jaw went slack. I hadn’t gone that far.
“Come on.” West’s brows rose into his forehead. “You think you just have feelings for her? I think it’s a little bit more than that.”
Love.
I’d only ever loved one other person, and this felt completely different than that.
“Can you love more than one person?” I asked, my voice barely audible, and West’s eyes flashed.
He knew I was referencing the fact he’d once been engaged. I never asked him about Sophia, but I knew what happened. He told me briefly in passing, but we never got into it. It wasn’t my place, but now I needed to know.
West’s hand ran across his chest. “Yeah, I think so, and I think sometimes that love can change into something different.” His eyes flicked to mine. “I hope.”
His throat rose and fell and his gaze went to his feet. I knew he was referencing River’s feelings for me.
“River loves you more than she ever did me,” I said, and West looked up, his chest rising as he breathed in. His arms tensed as he held onto the edge of the desk. “You know that, though, so what’s bothering you?”
West ran his tongue over his lips. “What was so special about that night?”
My body went numb. I could act like I didn’t know what he was asking about, or I could say it was just New Year’s Eve. West’s chin moved forward as he watched me.
“That good?” he asked.
“It doesn’t change anything,” I said, and his shoulders lifted. His eyes widened as he waited for the answer. I rubbed my neck before giving in. “I was going to propose.”
The tension in West’s arms moved through his whole body, and I felt my body stiffen too. I was pretty sure if he decided he wanted to kick my ass that he’d be able to. He was smaller than Bobby, but he was still a hell of a lot bigger than me. The muscles in his arms rippled as he squeezed the desk so hard his knuckles went white. His eyes were distant before he shook his head and relaxed.
His voice was hoarse when he spoke next. “Why didn’t you?”
My shoulders lifted. “Honestly, I think a part of me always knew it wasn’t right. River and I were never meant to be. We’ve always brought the worst out of each other.”
West’s shoulders were the last part of him to relax as he nodded. “I kind of get that impression.”
“Interesting that she still wants me around, huh?” I ran my palms over my jeans. “I keep waiting for her to tell me it’s not going to work.”
“Whether I like it or not, you and Bobby are a permanent fixture in who she is. The second I fell in love with her I came to terms with that,” West said as he tapped his foot against the hardwood floor.
“I think you helped her come to terms with that.” I shook my head. “I still don’t get how you do it.”
“River’s a permanent fixture in who I am. If she’s broken, so am I,” West replied, and our eyes met.
My breath whooshed out through my nose as I sat back and looked at him. “I’m glad she found you.”
“Me too,” West said, and darkness flashed in his eyes. “It’s hard to be able to love someone else, but somehow River made it so easy.”
I stood, reaching for his hand, and pulled him into a guy hug. “Then be smarter than me and don’t let her get away.”
West looked down at me. “I’ve been thinking about that lately.”
“What?”
His body tensed, and his eyes went far away. “Doing what you didn’t do.”
He was thinking about proposing. Heat coursed up my neck, and I rubbed it.
“You should.”
He licked his lips, and he nodded, but the look in his eyes showed something was making him doubt it. My stomach sank. He looked at me, and the darkness deepened. I knew the exact reason why.
Me.
Before I could say anything else, Temp poked his head in the door.
“Sorry to interrupt, but can you give me some pointers?” he asked, nodding at West.
The stiffness in his eyes left, and he smiled. “Sure, that’s why I’m the boss, right?”
I cursed to myself as I followed them out. I had fucked up River’s life again, and this time, I wasn’t sure how I could fix it.
But I was going to do anything possible to make sure I did.