Chapter 3
‡
“Eli. Say something.” Deanna shifted her weight from her left to right foot and bit the inside of her lip.
His cousin had been talking at him for the past few minutes while he adjusted to the shocking news she’d just given him.
Part of what made Eli good at his job as a firefighter was that when he was placed in situations where other people panicked, he did the opposite. For whatever reason, when adrenaline spiked in his system it caused his thinking to be sharper. His reflexes to be faster. His impulses to be quicker. His entire body went into a heightened state where he transformed into a superhero version of himself.
He’d discovered that he reacted the way he did to high-intensity, high-stakes, and high-stress situations during his time serving in the Army. During his first deployment, his unit was sent into a village to do a routine check of the area for hostiles. After successfully clearing three structures with no incidents, his team was ambushed in the fourth. One second everything was calm, the next guns were firing, explosions were detonating, and people were falling dead around him.
Chaos. That’s what was erupting around Eli and yet, he kept his composure. More than that, he operated at optimum efficiency. All of his senses heightened. His synapses fired on all cylinders. His mind worked on instinct, it compartmentalized each task that needed to be completed and then seamlessly moved to the next in rapid succession without hesitation or fear.
Get down.
Crawl to cover.
Listen for a break in fire and the click of the clip dropping to the ground.
Stand up.
Attack.
By the time the incident was over, he’d captured two enemy combatants, having disabled and disarmed both with precision. Similar scenarios had played out dozens of times over the eight years he’d served in the Special Forces. Each time his body had responded the same way.
After he returned to civilian life, his next move had been a no-brainer. His father had been a firefighter and Eli had always known that he wanted to follow in his footsteps. So that’s what he’d done.
He’d been with the Hope Falls fire department for the past four years.
Whenever people found out what he did for a living, the first question they asked was often the same. “How do you make yourself run into a burning building?”
Every time that question was posed to him the first thing that came to his mind was, “How do you not run toward a burning building?”
When all hell broke loose, Eli’s instinct was to eliminate any threat and rescue and protect anyone in danger. The news Deanna had just given him had his body responding exactly like it did when there was an emergency situation, except this time he was the one in danger.
To say that he and Kenzie had unresolved issues was a gross understatement. Their relationship had always been the most frustrating and confusing combination of hopelessly complicated and heart-wrenchingly simple. They’d loved each other with a pure, real love that comes along once in a lifetime and yet they never had a chance in hell of making it together.
And she was coming here. He needed to leave.
The instant the shock wore off, Eli went into damage control mode. He realized that his cousin was still waiting for him to respond to her announcement, so he did. “Okay. Thanks for the heads up.”
Her brow creased as she repeated slowly. “Thanks for the heads up?”
“Yeah.” He started to move around her.
His mind was focused on the next task and only the next task.
Walk out of the hallway.
Grab my bag.
Leave the gym.
Once he was safely out of the danger-of-seeing-Kenzie zone, he would assess the situation and come up with a plan to deal with it.
Before he’d made it two steps, Deanna stopped him. “Eli wait.”
His mind was telling him to keep moving, but he forced himself to still as he glanced down at his cousin.
There was genuine concern and sincere worry in her eyes as she said, “I would ask what happened between you two, but I know there’s zero chance of you telling me. And I’m fully aware it’s none of my business, but you are two of the best people I know. You always got along so well, and now you can’t even hear the other one’s name. Seriously, every time I tried to tell her that you lived here, that we worked together or anything that had to do with you, she interrupted me and changed the subject.”
As much as it hurt Eli to hear that that was Kenzie’s reaction to hearing his name, he wasn’t surprised. He knew that he deserved her not wanting to have anything to do with him. Still, it stung.
“When is the last time you talked to her? Before we ran into her in Vegas?”
Clearing his throat, he tried not to let the emotions of the last time they spoke overwhelm him. Flashes of their final time together came in rapid succession. His words played back in his head. The promises he’d made and broken. “The night before I left for boot camp.”
She stared blankly at him for several seconds. “Didn’t you go right after you graduated?”
“Yes.”
“That was a long time ago.” She said as if that was news to him.
“Yeah.”
The expression on her face revealed her disbelief. “Don’t you think it’s time to move on? Maybe this is meant to be. She’s going to be here for a month. It could be the perfect opportunity to—”
“A month?” He cut in when his brain caught up to what she’d just said.
“Yeah. A month.” Her head tilted to the side in a questioning gesture. “I told you that already.”
Shit. He’d drifted out of their conversation for a minute there.
A few days, a week even, was doable. Maybe. But a month? How in the hell was he supposed to be around Mackenzie, hear her laugh, see her smile, feel the shift in the atmosphere that happened every time she walked into a room and not go crazy? He’d barely held it together when she’d only existed in his subconscious. Now she was going to be real. And even if he’d wanted to do what Deanna suggested and talk to her, from the icy reception she’d given him in Vegas, he doubted that was an option.
It was probably for the best. Mackenzie Sutton had been off limits since the day that he met her when they were kids and now as an adult she was even more off limits. When they were younger, it had just been her overbearing father that hadn’t approved of her dating a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Not figuratively, either. Eli and Mackenzie might have technically been next-door neighbors, but train tracks separated those doors.
The north side of the tracks held million dollar homes that all backed up to a man-made lake. The south side of the tracks held middle-class homes that were by no means a bad neighborhood, but they were very firmly in the working-class category. And there was no way in hell a kid that came from a blue-collar family like his was good enough for Kenneth Montgomery Sutton’s daughter.
At the time, it proved to be an obstacle that was insurmountable. Now, things were even more impossible. It wasn’t just their past that they’d have to overcome. She was a married woman. He found that out when he’d gone to surprise her at her college graduation. What he’d hoped would be a happy reunion, maybe even the first step to reconciliation, had turned out to be a slap in the face courtesy of the reality that she’d moved on in a big way.
“Eli?” His cousin’s voice was unsure. “Talk to me.”
Frustration, helplessness, and pain filled him the same way it had when he was a teenager in love with a girl that he shouldn’t be. So much time had passed. He wondered if the pain would ever stop feeling like a fresh, open wound. Seeing her again sure as hell wasn’t going to make the memories any less potent.
If he hadn’t run into her six months ago, he’d be able to tell himself that seeing her again wouldn’t affect him at all. He wouldn’t know that seeing her face would cause his chest to feel like it was ripped open. He’d have no idea that looking into her eyes would feel like his heart had been snatched from his chest and pushed through a meat grinder. He would’ve been able to convince himself that she wasn’t still the only person who held the keys to his soul.
But he did run into her six months ago and now he knew better. He knew that seeing her should come with a warning label that read Danger: Exposure is Toxic.
Urgency exploded in him again. He needed to get out of there. He needed to retreat and come up with a plan of how he was going to deal with her being in his small town for the next month.
“I’ll talk to you later,” he clipped.
Deanna flinched at his curt tone.
This time he didn’t let his cousin slow him down. He headed straight for his bag. He pulled a shirt out and tugged it on when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Hey, man. You okay?” The look of discomfort on Lucky’s face told Eli he’d been put up to this check in.
“Did Deanna send you over here?”
His only answer was a whatcha-gonna-do shrug.
“I’m good,” Eli clipped.
Lucky dropped his hand. “Just so you know, I had no idea that you and Mackenzie were…um…that you knew each other…when I asked if you were interested in being Gabe’s sparring partner. I just found out last night.”
Shit.
He’d completely forgotten that he’d agreed to that. It wasn’t the first time he’d sparred with guys Lucky was training. Eli had a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and had studied Muay Thai for the past six years. Lately, the only time he felt any peace was after training. He’d been on a quest for total physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. What could be harder, more exhausting, or draining than sparring with a professional MMA fighter? So when Lucky had asked, he immediately agreed.
“If you want to bail, I understand.” Lucky gave him an easy out.
Eli didn’t bail on commitments. He had once in his life…and he was still paying for it to this day.
“It’s all good,” Eli assured him.
The second that the words left his mouth, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and goose bumps pricked his skin. He knew even before he looked over his shoulder that his escape plan was now pointless.
She was here.
Everything felt like it was going in slow motion as he turned. A silhouette that he’d recognize anywhere stood in front of the open steel door at the entrance of the gym. A bright light shone from the morning sun surrounding her, giving her an ethereal glow.
He watched as his cousin flung her arms around Kenzie at the same moment the doors shut behind them. With the backlight gone, Kenzie’s face illuminated and for a split second, Eli let himself take her in.
Just like he had when he’d run into her at the fight, Eli felt like he was transported back in time. Kenzie looked almost the same as she had when she was a teenager. The only noticeable difference was that her face was slightly more defined. She was practically a mirror image of her former self.
He saw the same angelic face that he used to spend hours memorizing while she slept beside him the nights Kenzie would sneak into his room when she had nightmares.
Her pixie nose still swooped up into a cute tip at the end that his finger itched to run down it like he used to do when her brow would furrow from worry.
Her full lips were the same natural shade of pink that used to taunt Eli every time she smiled or spoke. There was a slight gloss to them and Eli’s mouth watered at the sight. His taste buds fired at the memory of the cherry-flavored ChapStick she used to wear. He wondered if that’s what was smeared across her kissable lips now.
Her hair was pulled up loosely on the top of her head, exposing the gentle curve of her neck. Images of him burying his face there as he pressed soft kisses against her smooth skin flashed in his mind. The memory of the sweet sound of her sensual sighs whispered in his ear.
Since the first day that he’d met Mackenzie Sutton, she’d held a power over him. With one look, one word, one smile, she’d owned him. Some things never changed.