Chapter 8
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She was standing in Eli Bishop’s house. His house.
Yep. This was definitely one big cosmic joke, Kenzie thought as she waited for Eli to change. There was no other way to explain the events that had led her here.
“Relax,” she whispered to herself.
Her entire body was shaking from the shock of seeing Eli shirtless. It had been like déjà vu on steroids. She’d drooled, again. The first time she took in a half-clothed Eli, he was a teenage boy in jeans on a hot summer day, now he was a grown man in black sweats that hung low on his waist on a cool summer night. His body was no longer lean and athletic. It was muscular and chiseled.
When he’d asked her to come inside, she’d had to seriously consider whether or not she could trust herself. For the past year, she’d spent almost every day with men whose physiques were comparable to his and none of them had caused her to practically orgasm on sight. She didn’t know if it was some kind of pheromone or voodoo power.
Eli had something that those men didn’t. Heck, if a woman claimed that she’d been impregnated just by seeing Eli shirtless, Kenzie wouldn’t dismiss her claim offhand.
Slowly, she inhaled through her nose and exhaled through her mouth in an effort to calm her hyperactive hormones. After several cleansing breaths, she noticed her surroundings for the first time.
Eli’s home was exactly what she would’ve expected. From the hardwood flooring to the high ceilings that boasted exposed beams. It was warm and inviting with an open concept. The dining room held a large farm table and beyond that was the kitchen. It boasted a large island with a cement slab top and distressed wood siding, a white farmhouse sink, and stainless steel appliances.
It was the kitchen of her dreams. The dining room of her dreams. The living room of her dreams. The entire place looked like it had been plucked from her Pinterest board.
Reaching down, she trailed her fingers across the black stitching on the arm of the dark brown leather recliner that faced a whitewashed brick fireplace with a weathered wooden mantle. A matching couch sat against the far wall. Built-ins flanked the fireplace.
She crossed the room and scanned the books on the shelves. There was a mixture of autobiographies and fiction. He had hardback editions of The Art of War by Sun Tzu, The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, and Paddle Your Own Canoe by Nick Offerman.
On the middle shelf, there stood a framed collage of small photos. She picked it up to get a closer look at them. The top right corner was of a softball team all wearing HFFD T-shirts. Her eye was immediately drawn to Eli. He had his arm slung around Marco, the guy she’d met this morning, and the vein that ran the length of his forearm highlighted Eli’s chiseled strength. She recognized several other men that she’d seen at the gym.
On the top left corner there was a snap of four firefighters, all in turnout gear, with a beautiful blonde woman holding a baby swaddled in a pink blanket standing in the middle in front of the fire engine. All of them men were about the same height and easy on the eyes, but Eli stood out. With his dark hair, light eyes, and million-dollar smile, he had movie star appeal.
Clustered in the center of the frame were several pictures of his family. One of his mom and dad in front of their Christmas tree. One of his oldest brother Evan when he was playing for the Long Beach Waves. And one of Eli and his brothers fishing.
To the bottom right was a shot of eight men in camo holding weapons in front of a tank in the desert. Eli’s expression was stone cold and he looked dangerous. Seeing him looking like a real-life G.I. Joe made her stomach do a series of somersaults down the Eli Bishop Hotness Hill, and she felt her heart tumbling after it.
As she looked at all the photos, it hit her that she’d missed so much of his life. He’d always been such a huge part of hers, even when they weren’t together. Especially when they weren’t together. No matter how hard she’d tried to forget him, he was always there in the back of her mind. She couldn’t count the times she’d wondered where he was, what he was doing, and who he was doing it with. This was just a small glimpse at the answer.
The picture on the bottom left was her favorite. It was of Eli and Deanna at the fire station cooking. His head was thrown back with laughter as Deanna appeared to be threatening him with a spatula. He looked so happy, so carefree. Warmth spread in Kenzie’s chest.
That had always been her favorite Eli, the one with no worries in the world. He was always taking care of other people, especially her. He was intense, always worried and she used to be concerned that carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders was too much for him. That’s why her favorite times with him were the times that he was relaxed and carefree. She touched the picture and wished that she could hear his full-bellied laugh.
When she set the frame back down she noticed a Polaroid stuck between two books. She tugged at the corner and when she pulled it out all of the air left her lungs in a rush. Staring up at her was her sixteen-year-old self sitting on Eli’s lap. Since their relationship was a secret, they didn’t have a lot of pictures together. This was a Polaroid he’d taken. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, and she was kissing his cheek. He looked so…happy.
Tears began forming in her eyes as all the years of missing him, of wanting to be in his arms, to hear his voice, his laugh, of wishing she could look into his eyes and see him smile all came crashing down on her. She felt the weight of it and the urge to tell him how badly she’d missed him, to fold into his arms and let him hold her, and to confess that she’d never truly gotten over him.
“No.” She said aloud to herself.
She absolutely could not allow herself to be sucked back into Eli quicksand. It was so easy to get pulled under and near impossible to escape. Her only hope was to keep her distance, if not physically then at least emotionally. She needed to remain detached and disinterested.
“It’s hard for me to look at.”
Eli’s deep voice sounded behind her.
Being careful to set the frame back just as she’d found it, she took a deep breath and wiped her eyes before turning around. When she did her mouth watered. As breathtaking as he was shirtless in sweats, he was equally as devastating in a shirt and worn jeans. He’d changed into a long-sleeved, navy thermal that molded to the steely contours of his sculpted upper body.
“That’s why it was between the books.” He motioned toward her hand that was holding the photo of them. “It’s hard for me to look at.”
Her mind was filled with so many competing questions. They were all bouncing up and down in their seats like eager students with their hands raised. But she decided not to call on any of them. There were only two questions that mattered: why he stood her up and why he stayed away.
Her grandmother always used to tell her not to ask a question she didn’t want the answer to. It was a sentiment that had stuck with Mackenzie. So she didn’t ask.
She opened her mouth in order to tell him again how tired she was in an effort to get out of there. Instead, she said, “This is a really nice place.”
“Thanks,” Eli answered looking as surprised as she was that she’d made the observation.
“How long have you lived here?” She wasn’t sure where these questions were coming from.
“Coming up on four years.” He said. “It was my first day on duty and we were first on the scene responding to a call of a woman in distress. She and her husband were here on vacation and she’d gone into preterm labor. I fell in love with the property and made an offer the next day.”
“Was it damaged by the fire?”
Eli’s brow creased. “What fire?”
“You said that you responded to a call—”
“Oh.” A look of understanding dawned on Eli’s face. “No, there was no fire. When an emergency call is dispatched usually the fire department is the first on scene. I’m a paramedic, and actually Hope Falls Fire only hires firefighters who are also paramedics or EMTs with red cards because the area we serve is so large and remote.”
“Red cards?”
“It’s a qualification for specialized training in wildfires,” he answered matter-of-factly.
“Oh.”
Great. As if being a combat veteran and firefighter wasn’t enough, now she knew he was also a paramedic with specialized training in fighting wildfires. Oh and Deanna had also dropped the news that he was going to be sparring with Gabe because he’s a black belt in Muay Thai.
Move along, there’s nothing to swoon about here, she informed her hormones.
Clearing her throat she tried to distract her ovaries before they exploded by changing the subject. “Was she okay? The woman and her baby, were they okay?”
Eli nodded with a grin. “Yeah, they were fine. She ended up delivering a healthy baby girl six weeks later.” He walked over and picked up the photo she’d seen seconds ago. “That’s Nicole and baby Elena,” his smile grew larger, and she could see the pride in his voice as he said, “who’s not a baby anymore. She’s starting Kindergarten next year.”
“That’s great. I’m glad they’re both doing well.” A lump formed in her throat as she watched him look down at the photo. It was a moment she’d played out so many times in her mind, but in her scenarios, Eli was talking about their child. Her plan had backfired faster than a Model T in need of a tuneup.
He set the frame back down. “I can’t believe how fast the time has gone.”
For some reason that statement caused her to choke up even more. Her chest tightened and she blinked away tears that were pooling in her lower lids. Time. It was a funny thing. Without Eli in her life, time had felt like it was standing still, even when things were happening quickly around her. Or maybe that was it. It wasn’t time at all that had been stagnant, it was her. Many days, especially during her marriage, she’d felt like a character in a movie montage where the person was standing still and the world was whizzing around them. Life moved on, and since the day Eli walked out of her life, she’d felt like it moved on without her.
Not wanting him to see the emotion that was bubbling just below the surface she said, “Speaking of time. It’s late, so…”
“Right.” Eli crossed to the door and she followed behind him.
They stepped outside, he closed the door, and motioned to her car. “Are your bags in there?”
“Yeah.” She didn’t want to prolong their time together any longer than necessary. “I’ll grab them later.”
“I’ll take them now.”
Knowing that arguing would be futile, she popped the trunk. He lifted her suitcase and bag out with little effort and started down a dirt path that led around the house. Her suitcase had rollers on it but he wasn’t using them, and she knew that the sucker was heavy. As she followed behind him, her heart was leaping as she took in his broad, muscular back. She had to keep reminding herself of her plan to remain detached.
He stayed silent on the short walk and then stopped in front of a small house with white siding, shutters on the windows, and a shake roof. He set her bags down and entered a code into the lock box beside the door. When it opened, he took the key out and unlocked the door. He picked up her bags, entered, flipped on a light and then gently set her bags down inside and handed her the key.
“Is luggage service something you provide for everyone?” she said dryly.
It wasn’t that she was trying to be rude, she was just hoping to redirect the dead-end path her mind was taking her on.
“Only the ones whose teeth I’ve chipped.”
Despite wanting to stay detached, she found herself laughing at the memory. “I haven’t thought about that in so long.”
She and Eli had been playing Frisbee and she’d gotten a little overzealous on a catch, tripped over her own feet, and fallen smack dab onto a rock. She’d chipped two teeth and had to get stitches on her lower lip. He had nothing to do with it but because it was Eli he felt responsible for it. “I’ll never forget your face when you picked me up and saw the blood coming from my mouth.”
“I still feel sick to my stomach thinking about it.” He shook his head looking like he wanted to throw up. “I thought I broke you.”
You did…Not that day, but you did break me.
The words were trying to jump off the tip of her tongue, but she bit them back. “It wasn’t your fault. I just tripped.”
Taking the key out of his hand, she moved past him to walk inside but stilled when she brushed against him. Even through two layers of cotton, she could feel the heat and hard planes of his chest and abs against her shoulder and upper arm. It took all of her power not to lean into it. All she wanted to do was melt against his strength, but she knew she had to resist. Still, she couldn’t bring her feet to carry her forward or back. She was stuck. Again.
Eli abruptly moved away from her. “Let me know if you need anything. It’s small, but it should comfortably fit two.”
Two?
She pivoted, so she was facing him. “Oh, no. Theo is staying at the B&B.”
He put his hands in his pockets and when his eyes met hers the intensity in them caused her knees to weaken. “I was talking about your husband, I assumed he’d be joining you.”
“Oh, Theo and I aren’t married,” she jumped to clarify.
A lot of people jumped to that conclusion. Usually, it didn’t bother her. But with Eli, it did.
“I know, I’m talking about your husband.”
“My husband…? Wait, how did you know…? I’m not….” she stammered before collecting herself. “I’m not married. I was, but I got divorced.”
Lines appeared above his brow. “When?”
“Two years ago,” she answered. “How did you know I was—”
“You’re not married?” he cut her off as he took a step toward her, his blue eyes filled with even greater intensity than before.
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m not married.”
His eyes shut briefly and his entire body relaxed. A look that Mackenzie could only describe as relief washed over him. He exhaled as the corners of his mouth turned up in a broad smile. He looked happy. The same happy he was in the photo. The same happy that she’d always loved seeing when they were together.
After another beat, he opened his eyes. Mackenzie held her breath to see what he would say or do. Forget pins and needles, she waited on knives and swords.
“That’s the best new—” he started but was interrupted by an alarm that went off on his phone. “Shit,” he breathed as he pulled it out and, just like that, all the happiness drained out of him. He typed something back and pushed his phone back into his pocket. “I have to go. There’s a fire on 89. It’s threatening homes. They’re evacuating.”
“Okay,” she nodded.
“It’s a worker. I don’t know how long it will take to put it to bed.”
“Okay.” She wasn’t up on her firefighter lingo, so her mind went to an entirely different place with that statement. It set off all kinds of alarms in her that she would love for him to respond to. She hoped that her face wasn’t broadcasting her thoughts in HD.
The alarm sounded again, and he cursed under his breath before he stepped into the doorway only an inch in front of her. His six-foot frame filled the space and she tilted her head up to look into his eyes.
“I have to go. It could be a day or two before I’m back but I need to say some things. I need you to know it’s really good to see you. I’m so happy that you’re doing what you’ve always wanted and I’m so proud of you. And…damn,” he sighed, and the peppermint scented heat of his exhale wafted across her face. “You are still the most beautiful girl that I’ve ever seen.”
She stood in stunned silence, blinking up at him as she tried to recover from the emotional spin out she’d just had from the sharp U-turn this conversation had just taken.
The alarm sounded once more and his jaw twitched as he leaned down closer to her. So close that their foreheads were almost touching. For a glorious, terrifying moment she was sure that he was going to kiss her. And the scariest part was that she would have kissed him back. But the thing she feared didn’t come to pass.
He inhaled sharply as he walked backward away from her and called out, “Do me a favor.”
“What?” she asked softly.
“Don’t get married while I’m gone.” His lips curled in the cocky grin that had always turned her to mush as he turned and took off toward his truck.
She watched his headlights turn on and then light up the trees as he pulled out, and when his taillights disappeared into the dark night, all she could say was, “What in the name of David Duchovny just happened?”