Chapter Fifteen
Phil
Another day, another death… I wondered if this was what my life was going to be like for as long as I was a firefighter. I shouldn’t have been surprised. This is what I signed up for… But suddenly, I was starting to question whether I was really up for this job or if getting older was making me soft.
I drove home in a trance, reliving the memory of the day and trying to figure out if I could have done anything differently. Maybe if I’d been faster, we could have saved him. Maybe if we had chosen a different extraction plan, he would have made it. I kept seeing his eyes, fixed on mine. He was seventy-one. He’d had a long life, but in this job, I had come to learn that it didn’t matter how old you were or how great a life you’d lived. Death was scary for even the most prepared out there.
I parked the car and sighed deeply, feeling my body protest at the long shift and the fact that I was running on just a few hours of sleep. I wasn’t fit for anything except a quick shower before surrendering to sleep, but I needed to hear Megan’s voice before I got to bed. I knew that I would sleep better after speaking to her.
I got into my apartment, dragging my feet the whole time. Then I had a quick shower and collapsed into bed before reaching for my phone. Thankfully, Megan answered on the third ring.
“Phil,” she said, and her voice made me feel better instantly.
“I’m sorry to call so late.”
“That’s okay,” she replied. “You can call me anytime…you know that.”
“I just…needed to hear your voice,” I said tiredly.
“What’s wrong, my darling?” she asked, and her tone was so tender I felt moisture around my eyes.
“Just another bad day,” I managed to say, keeping my voice from shaking.
“What happened?”
“There was a car accident between Elm and Augustus,” I told her. “Two cars collided. There were four people involved in the accident. We lost one.”
Megan was silent for a moment. She didn’t say any of the traditional things you would expect her to say. “Tell me about the person you lost,” she said.
I almost smiled. It was not just intuition on her part—she understood me. She knew what to say…and not say to make me feel better. She knew I didn’t need to hear that this was part of the job and that death was part of life. She knew I didn’t need apologies and unnecessary platitudes. I just needed to talk about what had happened… I needed to remember him so that next time, I could do better.
“His name was Daniel Peterson,” I said. “He was seventy-one years old. He had a wife; I think her name was Lisa. She was in the car with him.”
“She made it?”
“She was taken to the hospital,” I said. “I don’t know what happened to her after that, but I think she’ll be okay. She kept asking if Daniel had made it… She kept calling out different names. I think they were the names of her children, maybe even her grandchildren.”
“What names did she call out?”
“Samantha, Ellie, and Jonathan,” I said. “He looked scared, Megan. I was with him when the life went out of him. It’s the most haunting thing to watch. One moment you can see his consciousness reflected in his eyes and the next moment…there’s nothing there. He’s just…an empty shell with nothing inside.
“It makes you realize how unimportant are bodies are in the greater scheme of things. They’re just carriers for our souls.
“He was looking at me when he died. And, he was scared. I could see that clearly. But it was more than just a fear of death. He was looking at me as though he were terrified I would leave. He didn’t want to be alone. I think he knew he was going and was scared of what would meet him when he did. He looked like a child at that moment, and it made me feel scared for him.”
“Do you need me to come over?” Megan asked softly.
“That’s sweet of you, but it’s late, and I don’t want you coming over at this time. I’m just going to sleep now, anyway. I might be out for a while, but I’ll call you when I wake up.”
“Get your rest,” she said, with understanding. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“It was nice to hear your voice,” I said. “I knew it would make me feel better.”
I could tell instinctively that she was smiling. “I’m glad. If you have trouble sleeping, call me, okay? No matter the time.”
“I will.” I nodded.
“Goodnight, Phil.”
I said goodnight and hung up. My head was much lighter than before I had spoken to Megan and because of that, I was able to fall into sleep easily. Thankfully, I had a dreamless sleep, and when I woke up the sun was streaming through the cracks in the blinds, alerting me to mid-morning.
Feeling much better, I stretched and reached for my phone. There were two missed calls from Brent and a long text message. I opened the message and read through it, feeling slightly amused and slightly annoyed at the same time.
“Yo Fucktard…it’s been ages. Have you abandoned me for my sister? Do I need to remind you that you knew me first? I thought it was bros over hoes… Not that my sister is a whore or anything, but you know what I mean. Careful or you might turn into one of those horse-whipped losers whose whole life revolves around their woman. Just saying.”
I rolled my eyes at his obvious attempt to manipulate me into spending more time with him. I decided not to argue with him. Brent could be annoying at the best of times and downright infuriating when he was upset about something. And considering he was Megan’s brother, I didn’t want to piss him off too much.
I had a shower and then I scarfed down some eggs and toast, despite the fact that it was nearly lunchtime. After I was done, I decided to bite the bullet and just call Brent.
“Hi, dude,” I said, when he picked up.
“Who’s this?” Brent asked mockingly.
“Ha-ha,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Very funny.”
“I’m serious, do I know you?”
“Will you cut the dramatic shit?” I said. “You’re such a child.”
“Hey, it’s gonna be years before I grow up.”
“I’ve realized that.” I nodded.
“So…you got my message?” he asked.
“Yes, I got your message,” I replied. “It was subtle as ever.”
“So I’m assuming you called to meet up soon?” he asked.
“Yep,” I replied. “How about next weekend?”
“Next weekend?” Brent repeated. “That’s so far off… What about tonight?”
“Uh… I actually have plans with Megan for tonight,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t give me too much grief about it. I was not in the mood, and I had a feeling my patience would give way at some point during this conversation.
“With Megan?” he said, with a groan. “Seriously?”
“Yes.” I nodded.
“Geez…you’ve seen her a lot lately, haven’t you?”
“Shouldn’t you be happy that I’m spending time with your sister?” I asked.
“Sure, sure whatever,” Brent replied. “I’m just saying, you don’t need to spend all your free time with her. You need some good old guys’ time.”
“Uh, to be honest… I have better conversations with Megan than I do with the boys.”
“Fuck off.”
“I’m being serious.”
“Dude, it sounds like she’s got you wrapped around her little finger.”
“Better hers than yours.”
“Fine then,” Brent replied, and he sounded a little huffy now. “Next week.”
“Yep.” I nodded, glad that he was letting this go.
“Where should we go?” he asked.
“There’s a new pub not far from your place,” I suggested. “We could chill out there after work.”
I was hoping he would agree to that so I could cut out a little early and meet Megan afterwards. I had no doubt that some hot girl would distract Brent and he would abandon me for her, which I was actually counting on.
“Ugh, a pub sounds kind of chill…”
“That’s the point—”
“I want to do something fun!” Brent said. “Something exciting.”
I frowned. “We’ll decide on the night, okay?”
“Fine,” he agreed.
“Okay, I gotta go. I’ll probably see you tonight, though.”
“Why… Oh… Megan,” Brent said darkly.
“Are you seriously jealous of your own sister?” I asked, only partly amused.
“I’m just saying, dude…you need to sort out your priorities.”
Rolling my eyes, I hung up on Brent and got dressed. I did a few chores around the apartment, something I’d been neglecting for weeks, and then I started getting ready for my date with Megan. It was a little early to be leaving already, but I figured the earlier I left, the more time I’d get with her.
Brent was the one who opened the door for me when I got there, looking like he was in a bit of a mood. “Oh, it’s you,” he said, walking back towards his spot on the couch.
“Where’s Megan?” I asked.
“In the bathroom, getting ready,” Brent replied.
She came out a second later. It amazed me how she managed to look casual and beautiful at the same time. She was wearing jeans, a white blouse that hugged her perfect figure, and she was wearing her hair up tonight. I wanted to kiss her, but I decided not to do it in front of Brent. He was being childish lately, and I didn’t want to give him any more ammo.
“Hi,” Megan said, giving me a smile and a chaste peck on the cheek. “Ready to go?”
“Yep.” I nodded.
She grabbed her keys and turned to her brother. “Hey, just so you know I cleaned out your room this morning.”
“Thanks.” He nodded, without looking away from the television.
“There’s something wrong with your closet door, though… I think it’s jammed. I couldn’t get in.”
“It’s locked,” he replied.
Megan frowned. “Why would you lock your closet door?”
“Because that’s where I stash my porno collection.”
“Eww,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “In that case, thanks for locking your closet.”
Shaking my head at Brent, Megan and I headed out into town. We discussed movies and music on our way to the restaurant and by the time we reached the city, the stress and pain of the previous day had melted away. I was starting to feel focused and determined again.
We walked into the restaurant holding hands, and the waiter showed us to the table I’d reserved the previous day.
“Wow, you need reservations here,” Megan said, looking around. “I don’t think I’ve ever been to a place this fancy before.”
“Neither have I,” I admitted. “But I work hard for a living, and I’d like to be able to enjoy the finer things in life from time to time. And I really wanted to treat you to a nice sit-down dinner.”
Megan gave me a heartfelt smile. “You’re too good to me.”
“It’s nothing you don’t deserve.”
She stretched her hand out towards me, and we linked fingers over the table. It was amazing how easily she could transform my mood. It was amazing how easily she could transform my perspective. And just like that, I saw us together, ten, twenty years from now, sitting at a restaurant like this discussing our children.
It was a scary thought…but the good kind of scary. It was the kind of fear that made me excited and hopeful and full of purpose.