Chapter Seven
Natalie
He has nice hands, too, I thought as I watched Chance point towards the statistics on the projecting image behind him. They were large and his fingers were long and beautifully shaped. I internalized a sigh as I turned my focus to his face.
I realized suddenly that I had never really seen him smile. His hazel eyes had brightness; it made the little hints of blond in his hair more prominent and softened his face somewhat, but I had yet to see a real smile. I wondered if he had a dimple, if his smile tilted slightly on one side, or if his smiles tended to be soft or wide.
My preoccupation with Professor William hadn’t reduced in the month or so since I had first laid eyes on him. In fact, some days it had seemed to increase. I thought about him at night before I went to bed, which inevitably led to dreams about him. Some of those dreams made me blush, even as I thought about them now. I was surprised at myself. Even though I’d had crushes on other guys before, I had never experienced this burning sense of desire.
Missy liked to tease me about it, but a part of me hated the feeling. It was a need that had this clawing urgency about it, and there was nothing I could do to satisfy it. I felt helpless, and no matter how hard I tried to get him off my mind, nothing seemed to distract me for too long. It didn’t help that I saw him every week, and he always looked so very handsome.
He was wearing dark jeans today and a white t-shirt underneath a thin navy jacket that put his muscular arms on full display. I wondered what it would feel like to peel those layers off of him. I felt a little tingle in my arms and legs, and I started to feel uncomfortably hot. At that moment, I was painfully aware that I had never been with a man and was starting to regret not having the experience sooner.
My thoughts turned to my birthday celebration that night, and I started to feel more determined than nervous. The moment Chance finished his lecture, he made a brusque dismissal and started collecting his notes and files. I had just gathered up my own things when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I turned around and found myself face-to-face with Jason. I tensed instantly, remembering our last interaction, but I kept my expression calm and unaffected.
“Hi, Natalie,” he greeted, and his smile was warm and friendly.
I was slightly confused, but I returned his smile half-heartedly. “Hello.”
Since the day that I had refused his offer to form a two-person study group, Jason had kept away from me. He hadn’t made an attempt to sit next to me, and I was glad. His reaction to my refusal had been extreme in my opinion, and that worried me.
“How’ve you been?” he asked tentatively.
I took pains to avoid direct eye contact. “Um… I’ve been okay.”
I hoped he saw how very uncomfortable I was, but he just kept going. “That’s good,” he nodded. “That’s really good to hear.”
He seemed to be trying really hard to be friendly, and I hoped he wasn’t going to mention the study group again.
“I have to get to my next class, Jason,” I told him.
“Oh, okay…then I won’t keep you long,” he said. “Listen… I just… I really want to apologize to you.”
I was slightly surprised, and that made me look up to meet his eyes. He was looking at me imploringly, and for a moment, I actually felt sorry for him.
“The last time we spoke… Well, I wasn’t very nice to you,” Jason said, and he had the grace to look ashamed of himself. “I… I can come on a little strong sometimes.”
“It’s okay,” I said, hoping that would put an end to the conversation.
But then Jason whipped out a small wrapped package from his jacket pocket and handed it to me. “Here you go,” he said.
“Uh…what is this?”
“It’s a birthday gift,” Jason said, taking me by surprise. “Happy birthday.”
I looked down at the gift he was holding out to me. “How did you know it was my birthday?”
He gave me a smile that I knew was meant to be charming and mysterious, but it only made me feel violated. “I have my ways,” he said.
I gave him a tight smile. “No, but seriously…how did you know?”
“I hope you like it,” he said, pushing the gift into my hand.
With no choice but to take it, I looked down at the wrapped box and decided to be gracious about it. After all, he had taken the time to go out and buy me something.
“Thank you, Jason,” I said. “This was really sweet of you, but you shouldn’t have.”
“I wanted to,” he said emphatically. “I saw it in the store window, and I thought it would suit you.”
I looked down awkwardly. “Well, thanks again.”
“No problem.”
“I should really get going,” I said, making my way to the exit.
“Where’s your next class?” he asked, following me out.
“The Abigail Tate building,” I said reluctantly.
“Great,” he said. “I’ll walk you there.”
I felt that same sense of unease I had the first time Jason had approached me. “Oh, that’s really not necessary, Jason,” I said quickly.
“No, I insist,” he said persistently.
“Uh…do you have a class that’s close by?” I asked.
“No,” he replied shortly. “So, what are your birthday plans?”
“I’m just going to stay in with my roommate and chill out,” I lied immediately.
“Really?” he asked. “That’s it?”
“I’m not really one for big birthday celebrations,” I replied, and that was true enough. “I like quiet evenings in.”
“You know what?” Jason said. “I feel the exact same way. You and I have a lot in common.”
I smiled weakly.
“But still,” he continued. “This is your twenty-first birthday; you should be doing something special.”
I made a mental note of the fact that he knew how old I was turning, too, but this time I decided not to point it out. Instead, I just started walking a little faster.
“We’re going to have a movie marathon,” I told him. “That’s pretty special.”
Jason laughed, and it actually seemed like he was enjoying himself. He matched my pace easily, and I realized that he thought he was doing well.
“I have an idea…”
I groaned inwardly and held my breath.
“How about I take you out to a nice dinner?” he suggested. “After your movie marathon?”
I paused. I definitely did not want to be alone with Jason, but I also didn’t want to set him off again like last time. I measured my words carefully, hoping that he would get the hint and just stop asking.
“I really, really appreciate the offer, Jason,” I started, as politely as possible. “But Missy and I have made our plans and I can’t back out now.”
“I’m sure she’ll understand,” he said. “After all, it is your birthday.”
“And staying in and having a quiet night is precisely what I would like to do on my birthday,” I said pointedly. “I hope you understand?”
I waited for a moment, wondering if he was going to get angry again. His expression looked as though it were on the brink when it dropped into disappointment instead. “Of course,” he nodded.
Relieved, I gave him a small smile. “Thanks for walking me over here,” I said. “And, thanks for the gift.”
Jason smiled, nodded and then he turned and walked away. I could see the weight of his disappointment in the hunch of his shoulders, but I refused to feel too sorry for him. He didn’t seem like a terrible guy, but there was an edge to him that unsettled me. I wondered if I was just reading too much into it. I walked into the building and got to the lecture five minutes early. I took a seat and decided to open my gift, fueled by curiosity.
Inside the box lay a silver necklace with little teardrop embellishments along its surface. It was really quite nice, and it also looked expensive. It would have cost him at least fifty dollars, and I questioned why Jason would choose to spend so much on a girl who was obviously not interested in him. It was starting to trouble me, and I wondered if I should report his behavior. Immediately, I dismissed the idea; he was just being nice. There was no need to overreact.
Still, I didn’t want him to think he could get me to go out with him by giving me expensive gifts. I just wasn’t that type of girl.
I decided to put Jason out of my head for the time being. For now, I wanted to relax and enjoy my birthday. Missy had woken me up this morning just to tell me that she expected me to be on time that night. She wanted me back in the dorm at seven o’clock so that she could get me ready for our bar crawl.
I was starting to feel the nerves pile on, but I told myself to take it one step at a time. I had no doubt Missy had chosen something sexy for me to wear and had resigned myself to that fact. But I just hoped it wouldn’t be too far out of my comfort zone. Knowing Missy, she probably wouldn’t care.
Once my lectures were done for the day, I headed over to my dorm with butterflies in my stomach. Missy was already there when I walked in.
“You’re early,” she smiled. “Good.”
“Do I get ten minutes to wind down first?” I asked.
“I think not.”
“Missy…”
“Oh, all right,” she said, in a huff. “If you insist.”
I laughed and lay down on my bed. “Guess what?”
“You fucked Professor Chance?”
I shot a glare in her direction. “I wish.”
“Do you really?” she asked, obviously amused.
“I can’t seem to get him out of my head,” I sighed. “I’ve never gone through this before.”
“It’s like a rite of passage, Nat,” she said. “Every girl goes through it. Granted you’re going through it a little late. But better late than never, as they say.”
“How many times have you felt this way about a guy?” I asked curiously.
“Twice,” Missy said, without hesitation. “The first time was for my brother’s best friend and the second time was for a guy in high school.”
“And, did you ever act on it?”
She smiled fondly. “I was ten when my brother brought home his college roommate. His name was Ryan, and he was twenty. So, it wasn’t like I could do anything about it. But two years ago, Ryan joined the family for Christmas and…let’s just say I fulfilled my childhood fantasies.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You were having fantasies at ten?”
“I developed early.”
I suppressed a laugh and shook my head. “And the second time?”
“Dwayne Harris… I was sixteen, and he was the new kid in school,” Missy told me. “I lost my virginity to him.”
“And what did it feel like…when you finally…you know?”
She shrugged. “You know what? It depends. With Dwayne, we were both young and inexperienced, so it was awkward and messy and weird. But with Ryan… With Ryan, it was something else.”
I sighed. “I don’t suppose I’ll ever get a chance to act on this though.”
“Oh, never say never,” Missy said, with a secretive wink.
“What does—”
“It’s time to get ready!” Missy said, clapping her hands together and cutting me off.
“So, what have you picked out for me to wear?”
“Something great,” she said unhelpfully.
“Okay… just as long as it’s not too short…or too tight…or—”
“It’s short, tight, and sexy as fuck,” Missy said. “And, you’re going to look smoking tonight. Now sit down, shut up, and trust me.”