Chapter One
June
“I can’t believe this. I’ve been playing this game for too long. None of them have any idea and you have to go ahead and change everything.” Rita was sitting there with a grin on her face. I wasn’t stupid and it was quite obvious what happened.
“It might be time for you to stop playing the game. I can tell you from personal experience life can be unpredictable. You never know what is around the corner and what you’re going to bump into at a moment’s notice.” She hadn’t come out and said it, but I knew that she was itching to. I just didn’t know if I wanted all the details.
I had agreed to meet with her in the coffee shop hoping that a public forum would prevent her from getting into the meat of the matter.
“Damian is nothing like the little boys trying to get into our pants. I’m not saying anything that you don’t already know. It goes without saying that men of his years have the experience where it’s needed the most.” She had been sneaking around and she felt no remorse for doing something that would ruin his career if it ever got out.
I was wearing the ensemble of somebody going to tennis lessons with the prerequisite little skirt and white sweater. My mother’s idea to attract a man was to get into a position of where he had to teach.
“I really don’t want to hear this. I was the one who convinced you to go for it and I really didn’t think that you would have gone through with it. When you dangle a piece of candy in front of someone long enough they will snatch it from your hand.” It was early Saturday morning and I was on my way to see my instructor.
“I’m not one to kiss and tell. I will say youth has nothing over experience. Do yourself a favor and stop thinking about it and just do it. You won’t know what you’re missing until you try.” Rita was the only one who had any idea about my status. I let people believe that I was promiscuous.
They saw the way I dressed, flirted shamelessly and heard the words coming out of my mouth. It wasn’t hard to put on an act. Pretending had become as easy as breathing. I almost believed it myself.
“You do make a convincing case and there’s no doubt you have changed. I just hope one day you don’t regret your decision.” I wasn’t going to mention the elephant in the room. It seemed cruel and unusual to pull the rug out from underneath her.
“The only thing I regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. We don’t take the risk of being seen in his neighborhood and I certainly don’t invite him around for Sunday dinner with the family.” I could see the appeal of having something that was strictly for your own amusement and pleasure.
“I really have to get going and I appreciate your insight.” I had been thinking about the same thing and there was one in particular who had always caught my eye. I could look at him in a certain way and he would turn to prevent me from seeing the way that he was reacting.
“I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but being a good friend means that I will give you my unbiased opinion. I’m not foolish to think that this is forever. I’m also not going to say that I have any plans to leave him. I just hope that he feels the same way.” We finished our tea and I wasn’t looking forward to how Benjamin was going to be touching me inappropriately on the court.
“I’m not going to be around very much longer. Remember, I’m just here for a visit and what happens in that time is not something that I’m going to bring with me. I’ll leave him with a memory. I have to choose very carefully.” She had been whispering into my ear about Blaine. Matchmaking wasn’t her strong suit, but I couldn’t dispute her taste in men. He was the one name on my lips during moments of sweet surrender by my hand.
“You’ve never been one for commitment and that’s something that you have in common with Blaine. I doubt very seriously that he would have any reason to push you aside. Take in one of his classes and I think that you’ll agree with my assessment. I’ll bring you with me as a guest and you can take it from there.” The idea was intriguing and the last time I had seen Blaine was a few years ago in passing.
I never told anybody including Rita my fascination with his elbow patches. The idea of doing anything back then would have been asking for trouble. He lived near my parents and I went by his house every day walking home from school. He had a pool in back and I had snuck a peek from time to time to make all sorts of hormones go crazy.
I had to wonder if things would change after the deed was done. What happened to my friend was changing the landscape of my love life. I hated dating with a passion. It drove me crazy to listen to them mindlessly chatter about things I just didn’t care about. Cars and past relationships were the only things that we had in common about.
“I might not be ready for anything long term, but I’m not going to jump the next man to come along with a kind word. Just because it worked for you doesn’t mean that it’s going to work for me.” She waved her hands in the air like she was surrendering and shaking her head in disbelief. She couldn’t believe that I could walk away from what could possibly be a sure thing.
“There’s no reason to get defensive and believe me I know how it feels to be pent up sexually. You have no idea how good it feels until you have somebody who knows what they’re doing.” Somebody was eavesdropping on our conversation and it was a little rude.
I knew that her name was Juliet and her parents were best friends with mine. We had lost contact for awhile but she seemed rather interested in our conversation. She kept looking up with this look of utter astonishment on her face.
“I wasn’t getting defensive and you’re not the same inexperienced little girl I remember. We’ve been trying for quite some time to find a reason to give it up. Losing it only happens once. I certainly don’t want some clumsy fool manhandling the girls. They need a gentle touch and not somebody trying to tune in a radio station.” I heard the unmistakable snicker of a feminine voice behind me.
“I never thought that it would change me, but it really has given me a new perspective. He doesn’t mind that I explore sometimes for an hour just to see what I can do to get a rise out of him. He likes to be surprised. I have no problem climbing into the shower with him when I hear it running in the bathroom. We go out of our way to go someplace private away from prying eyes.” She wasn’t exactly shy about giving me more to think about.
I was having a bit of fun at Juliet’s expense and she just seemed rather uncomfortable about the topic of conversation. I couldn’t swear by it, but looking at her was almost like looking at my reflection in the mirror emotionally speaking.
“I really thought that I would be the first one out of the two of us and it does make me a little bit jealous. I can’t help that. It does put a fire under me to try something outside of my comfort zone.” The one man constantly flashing in my mind the last few years was Blaine. His body swimming nude in his pool had been burned into my memory for all time.
He had an athletic background and he never fell into the bad habit of eating fatty foods. It wasn’t uncommon to see him jogging in the neighborhood putting all the young housewives on notice. I didn’t have any proof, but I swore that my mother may have taken him up on the offer. They were rather friendly and their body language was crying out for more than just idle conversation.
I never questioned her about it and it didn’t seem like it was any of my business. My parents were never happy together. They showed their distaste with quiet contemplation. It must’ve been the reason why my father stayed away working tirelessly in the office. It was the only way that he could get away from her nagging him incessantly.
“I’ve learned the hard way that there’s no time like the present. Life goes by too quickly and you never know when an opportunity like this is going to come around again. Do yourself a favor and enjoy the pleasures of what a man can give you. Don’t settle for second best.” I was usually one to give her advice, but it appeared that the tables had been turned.
“I’m late…” her mouth went wide in shock and it dawned on me that those two words had a very interesting underlying meaning. “I’m late for my lesson.” She made a sigh of relief and she wasn’t the only one. “There’s no way that I can be pregnant when I haven’t even been with a man.” I got up and stopped on purpose in front of Juliet.
“I didn’t mean to be listening.” I’d heard through the family grapevine that she was about to embark on a wonderful journey to Cairo. I was never much for travel, but I could see the appeal of doing something exciting.
“It wasn’t like that we were being very quiet about it. I heard about Cairo and I’m sure that you’re counting down the days. Archaeology has always been your fascination and it’s no wonder you gravitate to those undiscovered treasures. Just don’t get caught up in your profession not to enjoy what’s around you.” I left her thinking about life in general. I had a pit stop and it had been quite some time since I’d seen him in the buff.