Melanie

I was relieved to see Carl coming through the door and I don’t know why, but I moved to hug him because I just needed to. I wanted to cry, but I had already and I was spent. Now I just wanted his warm body against me.

He didn’t pull away or try to dodge me like I feared he would. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and I felt safe and secure for a few moments. It felt like nothing could go wrong in the world as long as I was in his arms. He was perfect, felt perfect against me, but I knew that there was more to it than that.

When I pulled back and looked up at him, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to forget everything for just a minute if I could and I knew that his lips on mine would have that effect. I needed him and when he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine, I rejoiced in the feel. It was like he was reading my mind and knew that I needed to feel his soft lips on mine. It was a need now, not just a want. I’d never needed anyone so badly in my life as much as I needed him at this moment.

I tried to deepen the kiss with my arms moving around his neck, pulling him down to my level. Carl pushed me back after a moment and reminded me that we were in front of the hospital. It went without saying that he was thinking about the fact that my brother was inside and was still not going to take too kindly to us kissing.

“Maybe I don’t care what he thinks Carl.”

“I do. He has to forgive you because you’re his sister.”

“Please come home with me. I don’t want to be alone tonight. We can just lie together if you want.”

We were getting into his truck and I was nervous that he was really going to drop me off and leave me. I didn’t want him to go and I wanted assurances that he would at least stay with me for a while. I just didn’t want to be alone.

“I will stay for a while, but as a friend.”

I told him that I understood, but I didn’t and I was certainly going to push for more. I didn’t need a friend. I needed him to take me and make me his own. That’s what I needed. I wasn’t too worried about a friend. I wanted the man in front of me that I knew could make it all go away. He had done it before and so help me, I wanted it again. I wanted the oblivion that he could give me.

He was quiet on the way over and my mind was full of too much. It really was just a need to shut it all off for a little while. It was something that I’d never been able to do before, but when Carl had his hands and mouth on me, all thoughts left my head. With so much death and despair around, I wanted just a few moments to feel alive. It didn’t make sense to me, but that’s just the way that I felt about it all.

Carl pulled up at Lily’s and he hesitated several seconds before he turned off the engine. I didn’t know if it was because he didn’t want to be there or not, I wasn’t really sure. All I knew was that he was here and I was going to get him to give me the peace of mind that I needed. He was the only one that could help me and he could say and deny all he wanted, but I knew that he wanted it too.

I got out and made my way to the door, not looking behind me, trusting that he was there. Carl had become something more since I’d broken up with Dustin and I wanted that to go further. I wanted him in the same way that I had so long ago, if not for forever, at least for the night. Just like the night so long ago, I needed one more night like that. It had to be and it had to be tonight.

“You want a drink?”

He looked suspicious like I was trying to liquor him up for a reason. If I was honest with myself, I was. I wanted his head on top to think less and I knew that Carl would chill out some with a few beers in him.

“Sure. What do you have?”

I told him to come take a look while I went and changed. I needed to after the long ride home and now that Carl was here, I wanted to change into something a little more comfortable. I hadn’t really tried to seduce him, not wholeheartedly, but something had gotten into me tonight and that’s what I was going to do. He wasn’t going to be able to refuse me again.

Hearing clattering in the kitchen, I asked him to make me a drink before I went back to Lily’s guest room where all of my things still were. I went through all that I had and I still wasn’t satisfied. I wanted something more delicate and I finally went with a slip camisole and a pair of boy cut underwear that could have passed for a really short pair of shorts.

I pulled my hair down and shook it out, looking in the mirror. I looked casual because I didn’t want to look too desperate and trying too hard, but it served its purpose, letting all of the assets out to be viewed and touched.

If he was going to say no to me now, I really wasn’t ever going to have a chance with him. I was going to give it my all and see what happened. I know what I wanted to happen.