Chapter 16
Lucy
His hands, big and strong traced my collarbone sending shivers down my body. Zen’s touch makes me feel all sorts of amazing. His head laid casually on my shoulder as we both got comfortable on my bed. His manly scent was intoxicating. I could never get enough of this.
His skin was pressed against my naked one making the both of us sweat, our heavy breathing and body heat made each moment erotic. His long wet chocolate hair was sprawled against my naked chest as each time I took a breath the tips of his hair tickled my breasts.
“Let’s go again.” he whispered against my skin making goosebumps sprinkle across my skin. I laughed as I tightened my arms around Zen and asked “Again? Aren’t you tired?”
This time he chuckled and answered “I could never get tired of you,” as he placed a tender kiss on my collarbone. “Just the tiniest taste of you only makes me want you more.” he said as he pressed another kiss to my neck. I giggled as he proceeded to assault my neck with opened mouth kisses.
It’s moments like these I wished that time stopped and I could forever be in this moment. In my arms Zen wasn’t the notorious bad boy that everyone warns me about, he’s simply my Zen. He’s a whole different person when he’s with me just as I’m a different person when I’m with him. I never want to part from the warmth of his arms.
“Come on, let’s go one more round.” his voice was muffled against my neck. He just never wants to stop. I chuckled and commented “That’s what you said last round.” Zen got up from his spot on my shoulder and was now hovering over my naked body.
“It’s just hard to stop when it comes to you.” he admitted as he stared into my eyes. But right as he was about to close the gap between our lips I suddenly bolted up from my bed realizing it was nothing but a dream. My breathing was heavy and my pajamas were soaked from my sweat.
It’s actually been a week since I’ve last spoken to Zen. He hasn’t replied to my texts nor picked up my calls. I even tried contacting him through Ciel but was unsuccessful. When I tried going to the bar or even his apartment his friends told me he wasn’t there. It’s like he completely vanished.
Was this truly it?
Was he really going to leave me?
Was I nothing but one of the names checked off his list?
I wanted to know but the more I searched for any answers the more I find unanswered questions. I clutched my head as I sat in my bed gathering my breath. These dreams were no stranger to me for ever since Zen has been away they have been haunting me every night reminding how much Zen meant to me, how much I missed him.
I wasn’t even able to study for my upcoming medical examination which was super important but when I tried to study my thoughts only ended up with Zen. My heart ached to see Zen, it was truly an ugly feeling. I couldn’t focus on anything not even work or eating. My mind is so consumed with thoughts of Zen that I sometimes accidentally put orange juice in my cereal and salt in my coffee.
Ezra noticed this behavior but as promised he didn’t bother me when it came to my love life, that’s if I still have a love life because as of right now I didn’t know. I felt like an empty shell of a body just trying to get through life everyday but this was also no strange feeling to me because before I met Zen this was how life was for me except I was able to focus. With Zen gone everything was unknown.
I gave up on trying to go back to sleep because every time I closed my eyes all I could see was Zen, and if I did fall asleep then it would only lead me back to those heart aching dreams. Trying and going to sleep was only giving myself torture rather than relief.
I slowly got out of bed and started making my way towards the kitchen. It was still dark outside and I knew that Fancy Cups wasn’t open yet. Fran, Angela, and Stephen were growing worried each time I showed up at the coffee shop with dark circles and bags around my eyes. My hair wasn’t tidy like it usually was and my clothes seemed to not match at all.
Since when did a man could turn my life upside down? I felt pathetic for feeling this way for Zen but I also felt pathetic without him by my side. Tears refused to fall from my face until I hear from Zen that he no longer cared for me that he no longer wanted me in his life.
Going to the kitchen to make coffee has always been normal in my life but nowadays it’s been abnormal. Coffee was my only source to keep me going at work and mostly everything I do. As I waited for the water to heat up I suddenly grew frustrated with myself.
I was weak all because of one guy. My fist clenched tightly as I suddenly threw a punch to the wall of my kitchen only for me to quickly cradle my fist. “Ouch!” I shouted as I felt pain shooting up and down my arm which only proves how weak I am.
When the sun came up I quickly took a shower and started making my way towards Fancy Cups. I couldn’t help but hold hope that Zen would suddenly turn up, and I was readying myself if he would decide to let me go. So when he does let me go I would be able to land on my two own feet.
When I arrived at Fancy Cups I was lucky to run into Fran who was just about to open the shop. She was a bit startled when she noticed my presence.
“Woah! You’re super early today Lucy. Getting ready for the exam?” she asked as she opened the door and let me in. I sighed wishing that was the case. I lazily plopped onto one of the chairs and gave out another sigh.
“Still no word from Zen?” she asked.
“No… I wasn’t able to get any sleep at all. I would have… sweet nightmares.” I said as I slammed my head onto the table. Fran was like a fairy-godmother as she quickly flicked on a few machines and moved around gracefully as she made a cup of coffee. Once she was done she set the coffee in front of me and said “It’s on the house.”
I smiled in thanks as I stared at the beautifully designed coffee, only Fran could make coffee look this beautiful. I suddenly started seeing Zen’s face in the coffee.
“Fran, why did you make Zen’s face in my coffee?” I asked which made Fran sigh out loud. “Sweet nightmares eh? I’ve had my fair share of those. They start messing with your head afterwards which makes it hard to do just about anything.” she said.
“You met Ciel here at the shop, right?” I asked as I stared around the shop. Fran sat in front of me as she nodded. “I think Fancy Cups has some sort of curse where girls like us meet boys like Ciel and Zen.” I commented.
“Hey! Don’t say such things about the shop. She has feelings.” Fran said as she walked over to the wall and started patting it softly. “But are you sure it some curse Lucy? I mean could you really imagine your life now without Zen? I thought the same before but now I can’t practically imagine a life without Ciel.”
It was true. For all my life I’ve planned everything from where I would live and work to what I shall work, and when I would retire. There was no plan to meet some guy and get married nor was there a plan to meet a guy like Zen.
“I guess you can call it destiny rather than a curse.” Fran said.
Suddenly the bell from the entrance rang which meant there was a customer. My heart soared for just a second but once I saw it was just a woman it quickly pummeled.
“Sorry but are you guys open?” the girl had a rich French accent. Fran smiled and said “We’re about to but you’re free to stay if you want.”
“Thank you.” the girl said as she sat at the table next to mine. Once she sat down she gave out a heavy sigh. Fran chuckled and asked “Let me guess, boy trouble?” The girl sadly looked at Fran and nodded.
“You’re not alone.” Fran stated as she pointed towards me. The girl looked at me as I gave her a sheepish smile.
“Are all American boys like this?” the poor French girl asked as she buried her face in her hands. Fran sighed and said “Not all boys break hearts but what’s love without a little pain?” she tried to play it off but in only made the girl frantic. “But this isn’t little pain, I feel as if my heart is being ripped to pieces.” she explained.
Fran sighed and said “We’ve all been there. My name is Francesca by the way, you can call me Fran. This is my friend Lucy.”
“My name is Isabella.” Isabella smiled at us. “Sorry to be nosy but was this guy your boyfriend?” Fran asked as she made her way towards the counter and made another cup of coffee for Isabella.
“Oh no, he was what you call a sex buddy.” Isabella explained which made me choke and spat out of my own coffee. That was unexpected. I was coughing and decide to drink my coffee again to clear my throat.
“After having sex, Zen completely ignored me.” Isabella stated. I once again choked and spat out my coffee making me violently cough. Fran froze as she stared at Isabella and I with wide eyes.
“His name is Zen? Can you describe him?” I asked almost desperately. Was this the reason why Zen ignored me? Has he finally moved on?
“Uh… Long brown hair, tall, and very handsome. He always wears a leather jacket and…” before Isabella could continue I lifted my hand up to stop her. Fran quickly made her way towards us as she sat the cup of coffee in front of Isabella. I could feel my heart beating miserably in my chest almost as if any moment it would break into pieces.
“When did you guys have sex?” Fran asked. Surprisingly, Isabella was a very open person. “Oh, it was long time ago. I tried reaching out towards him but he would turn the other way. There’s a rumor going around saying that Zen has a girlfriend and he’s serious about her.” Isabella explained.
“When’s the last time you saw Zen?” Fran asked. I was glad that Fran was here because for obvious reasons my mind wasn’t working.
“Yesterday,” Isabella’s answer made my head snap towards her. “He’s still with his girlfriend but he seems busy. He even turned down other girls. I’m happy for him but I can’t help but hurt, you know?” So this was the results of Zen’s conquered women?
The dream I had of Zen popped into my head and made my heart tightened painfully. It seemed like my whole relationship with Zen was only a dream but when I think of the moments that Zen kissed me and touched me, there I know it’s not a dream.
Zen was still with his girlfriend, me. Meaning he’s just ignoring me for reasons. Did I do or say something? Was it Penelope?
Whatever I was I’m planning on luring Zen out one way or another. I down my coffee in one go, ignoring the burning pain on my tongue and throat. I bolted up and started heading out.
“Where are you going Lucy?” Fran suddenly asked.
“To get my blasted boyfriend to appear before me.” I angrily stated as I exited the shop. I quickly made my way towards the hospital, already forming a plan inside my head. I just needed help from one person.
I arrived at my destination and quickly entered the room.
“Lucy, what are you doing here?” Penelope asked as she looked up from her book. I needed a favor from Penelope.