The warmth spreading throughout my body as I hold her tight gives me inner peace. They’re alright. Their hearts are still beating. I prayed to God for both of their safety. I wouldn’t be able to forgive God giving me this gift and then taking it away from me. I would be ruined. Her needing me right now me is like a dream come true. The emotion emitting from her isn’t relief, it’s love. I can feel our souls fusing together as I hold her tight in my arms, unwilling to ever let her go.

I move her into the safety of my car, away from the passing cars and out of the cold rain. Her tears are constantly flowing. I place my hand on her cheek and she leans in to my palm, I kiss her forehead to assure her everything is all right.

“Baby, you’re alright. You’re safe,” I tell her. She shakes her head, acknowledging my words.

I run toward her SUV and put it in neutral; I need to get it out of the way before someone gets hurt. I push the truck off the road and steer it at the same time. It’s wet and I almost lose my footing as the rain comes down harder and faster making it more difficult. I finally get it on safe ground and run back to my car to call roadside assistance.

I EVENTUALLY GET her home and into a warm bath. She’s still silently sobbing as I wash her.

“Sophia, baby, everything is ok. You’re fine and the baby’s fine. Let me go get you a cup of chamomile tea; it will calm your nerves.” I’m about to get up but she grabs hold of my hand. Her face is flushed and her eyes are swollen.

“Don’t leave me,” she whispers.

“Never,” I answer. I stay with her until her bath gets cold. I wrap her in a towel and help her dry. She changes into my boxers and a t-shirt.

“I can go across the hall and grab some of your clothes,” I offer.

“No, don’t leave me, please,” she pleads.

“I won’t baby.”

We go into the living room and I grab a blanket and her cup of tea. We settle onto the couch, she takes only a few sips before she closes her eyes and falls asleep. My sleeping beauty, how I love you.

The gray skies are now black the only thing illuminating the room is the T.V. I have watched three episodes of Mysteries at the Museum and her body still lies motionless next to me. I grab the remote, flip through the channels, and stop when I come upon ‘The Big Bang Theory’. It’s her favorite show.

“I love this episode,” she says, a smile breaks across my face at the sound of her voice. That sweet sound fills my heart, she is my world, she is my light. She. Is. My. Love.

She sits up, adjusting herself next to me. My arms automatically wrap around her and hold her tight. She looks at me and eyes my lips, it’s like she’s commanding me to take her lips in mine. And so I do. Our kiss is gentle and needy at the same time. She has finally made room for me in her heart; I can feel it. She might not say it, but I feel it. She breaks away and sits up beside me.

“Today was a hard day,” she pauses and her eyes gloss over. “Never in my life did I think I would ever have to tell my mother-in-law, whom I love dearly, that the heart beating in my womb is not from her son.”

“Sophia,” I want to apologize; I want to say I wish you didn’t have to go through that but the reality is that I’m not sorry for any of it. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me?”

“This is just something I knew I had to do on my own and I didn’t want it to be harder than it already was. Had I told you, it would have only made it harder for me. Will is gone and I accept that my heart will always mourn him but to Mrs. Collins, this is-” I pause. “Will was her son,” I correct. “She knew that it was only a matter of time before I was going to be able to feel again. So, yes, she was surprised and saddened that her son never got to experience being a father. That she will never feel the joy of being a grandmother. Or that a part of her son isn’t here on this earth but after going through all our emotions she truly is happy for me. Because I am happy.”

Through all her words, the only ones I heard loudly were the last few. She’s happy, she truly is happy. I can’t help but smile. I know there is so much going on in her heart and even though she hasn’t fully expressed her feelings to me, she has shown me how she feels. She doesn’t have to say it because I feel it.

“I’m happy too, baby.” I kiss her forehead and she snuggles next to me. “Tomorrow, come with me to work. I would love for you to come see the building I’m renovating and I would love some of your input.” There’s nothing I want more than to be with her every moment possible and this is perfect, not only do I get to be with her but hopefully she will see the possibility of us working together.

“You know Will and I used to work together on almost every project of his. He would be the one creating beautiful structures and I would be working on the ornamental part.” She pauses. “I don’t know if I still have it in me to envision the array colors, window treatments, and patterns. It’s been awhile, but I would love to go with you and see if I can feel it, picture it, and help you with your project.” I can only imagine how hard this must be for her; however, she is willing to step out of her darkness for me.

“I would love that, thank you.”

We spend the rest of the evening watching episodes of ‘The Big Bang Theory’ and eating Ritz crackers with peanut butter and jelly, topped with wine glasses full of milk. Her laughter fills the room and I can’t help be stare at her. She’s glowing. Laughter is the best medicine for sadness.

My stomach hurts from hours of laughing and I realize Sophia is quieter. Her eyes are struggling to stay awake and her yawns are becoming more frequent.

“Baby, let’s get you to bed.”

“Yeah, I actually should go home.” My heart hurts a little at the thought of her not next to me, as much as I want to tell her to stay, I know she needs her own space.

I get her things and walk her across the hallway. I don’t enter because if I do it will only make it harder for me to leave. It’s never enough being with her. I always want more of her presence. She opens her door and turns around to face me.

“Goodnight, Sophia, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.”

I lean in to kiss her. I take hold of her beautiful face and open my eyes when I pull away. Her eyes are closed and she slowly opens them when I place a soft gentle kiss on her lips.

“I love you,” I whisper to her.

She smiles at me and pulls away into her apartment. I stand there for a brief moment hoping she’ll change her mind. When she doesn’t, I somberly walk back into my place and I wonder how the hell I am going to get any sleep tonight.

The last time I looked at the clock, it was ten past four in the morning. My anticipation kept me awake. I can’t wait to see her, to have breakfast with her, and drive to work with her. It’s now five in the morning and I get myself out of bed ready to see where today takes us.

I’m outside her apartment at six-thirty. I would love to have breakfast at the café down the street. I sent her a text as soon as I woke up inviting her to have breakfast with me. She didn’t respond. I’m outside her apartment and I knock on her door but there’s no answer. I wait a minute and knock again. Still no answer. Now, I can’t help but wonder if maybe I pushed her into to going with me and she isn’t ready. I pull out my phone ready to call her when Katia opens the door.

“Good morning,” I say with a little too much excitement.

Katia on the other hand, doesn’t say it back. Her hair is tousled and she’s shielding her eyes from the hall light. She steps aside letting me in; it’s dark and the light that’s peeking from Sophia’s bedroom is the only thing illuminating the apartment.

“She’ll be right out,” she says through a yawn, which then makes me yawn.

“Good morning,” Sophia’s soft voice flows through the air and stops me mid yawn. “Tired?”

“Not anymore, you ready?”

“Yes, I need coffee and I’m so hungry that I don’t know what I want to eat because right now I could eat eggs, bacon, pancakes, biscuits with gravy, French toast, oh! Even a breakfast taco sounds delish about now.” She’s hungry.

We are walking to my car when suddenly her steps begin to falter.

“Baby, are you okay?” I stop to look at her, but she is standing there staring at my motorcycle.

“This one is yours.” It wasn’t a question; it was more of a statement.

“Sophia, I don’t think the doctor would approve of you riding a motorcycle.” Hell, I wouldn’t let her on my motorcycle even if the doctor gave her the okay. It’s too dangerous for them, Sophia and the baby.

“I don’t want to ride it. I just don’t like them, one of those has caused me so much heartache and pain.”

“I know. I’m so sorry for what happened to Will. I have a confession, after that day that you came to me upset about the offer of Will’s company I searched William Collins and the story of the accident was the first thing that popped up. I can’t even imagine what you went through.” I don’t want today to be a day of sorrow and pain, I want today to be a glimpse our future. “Baby, let’s get you coffee and breakfast, okay?” I’m trying desperately to distract her mind. She nods in agreement and we head out to the café.

“I’m counting on you to keep your promise.”

“My promise?” I question, not sure what she’s talking about.

“Yes, that you will be never leave me. I don’t think I can bear you leaving me, too.” Sadness laces every word.

“I promise, I’ll always be here for you, with you.” I reach out to take hold of her hand; I bring it up to my lips and place a kiss on the back of her hand.

“That includes doing everything in your power to ensure a future. Not only with me and the baby but here in this world. Matias, my heart won’t be able to bear it.” The rawness in her sincerity makes me realize that this isn’t just about me, it’s about us. All three of us. “Death is a thief, not only robbing you of your life but robbing the love ones you leave behind of your presence and taking everything that makes life beautiful.” Her words are powerful, real, and a reminder that she’s experienced the remnants of death.

“I promise you, Sophia. I will fight death with all I have if it ever attempts to rob my life.” The realm of loss extends far more than just death; it’s the bereavement of a soulmate that not even a lifetime of happiness can restore. I understand that now. I feel it in my soul.

With that last thought in my head, I know what I have to do. And it’s what I want to do, for her, for me, for us. For our future.

We arrive at the café; the morning dew is still settling, leaving the pavement a shade darker. We walk to door but before we walk in, I place a soft kiss on her lips just to let her know I love her. The hostess is leading the way to our table but before we even get seated Sophia is already ordering her coffee. A smile breaks across my face as I walk behind her to be seated at the booth and recall her words of her telling me about her moodiness without a cup of Joe, so I’m glad that has already been ordered and I order a cup for myself while I’m at it.

We glance at our menus and when the waiter returns with our coffee, Sophia still hasn’t decided on what she wants to order. He waits a few seconds then Sophia looks up and orders almost all the breakfast items on the menu. When the waiter turns to look at me, I don’t even know what to order so I just ask for extra bacon knowing for sure Sophia can’t possibly eat all that food. He takes our menus and Sophia mouths, “I’m starving.”

“I only ordered bacon hoping you can share a pancake and some eggs,” I say, as the blush appears on her cheeks. I didn’t mean to embarrass her.

“I’m sorry, breakfast will be on me. I just didn’t know what I was craving and everything sounds so delicious that it made it hard for me to decide.”

“Sophia don’t be ridiculous, breakfast is my treat besides I’m hungry myself and I was almost tempted to order the same as you,” I tease as I prepare my coffee.

Breakfast was filling and satisfying. My pancakes were fluffier, my bacon crisper, and my coffee was grounded to perfection; everything just seems better when she’s around. It’s time to get the rest of our day started and determine our future for our professional career.

I wait for Sophia in the car while she uses the ladie’s room. The whole time we were in the café she must have gone a handful of times. I take the time to send out a quick text to a colleague who I know is very interested in my motorcycle. Before Sophia even gets to the car, I get a reply from Dave. Perfect. This is perfect. I shoot off the last message to him before we drive out to destination dreamland, where I’m hoping my dreams will come true.

My intentions are to walk Sophia through the project in hopes that she can envision the life she can bring to the old building. Driving into the parking lot, I can sense her uneasiness; I know it must be hard to go back to something that induces happy memories to sad ones. But I want her know that they don’t have to bring sadness, they can be happy memories.

We sit silently in the car. I unbuckle my seatbelt and turn toward her. The sadness in her eyes makes my chest hurt; the corner of her eyes are collecting the tears that have not yet given way but are on the verge of spilling over. She looks down as I place my hand in hers and the tears begin to spill down her cheeks. I quickly wipe them away with my thumbs and cradle her face in my palms. She looks up at me with sad stricken eyes. “I can’t do this.” Her sweet tone entwined with sadness.

“Baby, I completing understand if you feel you aren’t ready. The last thing I would want to do is compromise the progress you have made to heal your heart.”

“I know,” she takes a deep breath. “I’m ready. This is another step I need to take in order to be able to restore my life. There’s no one else I’d rather do this with than you.” She leans in and places her soft, sweet syrup-tasting lips on mine.

She pulls away and takes out her phone. “I’m ready,” she reiterates. She gets out of the car and evaluates the exterior. I grab hard hats from the back seat and hand one to her.

She places the hard hat on and I give her a wink and sly smile. “Sexy.” She really is turning me on.

“Matias, that’s not very professional,” she says, hitting my arm.

“I know, but you haven’t decided yet if you are going to accept the job so until then the only title you hold is my baby momma, for now.” She laughs at my playfulness. “And baby don’t let me remind you of how that happened.” I step closer to her and place a kiss on her neck.

“Matias, stop. Don’t make me regret getting out of the car.” The seriousness in tone warns me to stop; I put my hands up in surrender. But damn, If she only knew how turned on I am.

I give her the tour of the building, stopping in each room to inform Sophia of what my client had in mind. She quietly took notes and snapped photos. The playfulness that was has now diminished and seriousness has taken its place. It took us a little more than a couple of hours to get through the entire building. We finally step out into the midday sunlight and stare back at the building we exited.

“It’s a beautiful building. I love that it still has the original exposed brick on some of the interior walls with mixture of the industrial fixtures and windows. Age is what makes this building beautiful. I hope your client sees that.”

“Help them see it. I know you could bring this building to life just the way you bring color to everything in your path.” She looks off in wonder.

“I do miss this…I don’t think there’s going to be a better time to do this than now and I already have so many ideas.” She pauses and I see her contemplating with her thoughts. “Yes, I accept the job.” She looks at me and a smile breaks across her face.

Right there in the middle of the driveway, under the rays of the sun, next to the old tree I seize another piece of her heart.