I kick the bedspread off me. I feel restless. I have been tossing and turning all night. I can’t seem to fall asleep. My hormones have been off the charts. Yesterday I was supposed to be searching for baby stuff. Instead, I signed up for Tumblr and watched video after video, or GIF of hot male “V” abs. Lost three hours of my life. Who knew there were so many pictures of shirtless hotties on the internet?

I need water or ice cream. Getting up from the bed, I walk toward the kitchen. As I pass the front door, I hear a thump coming from outside.

“Baby, I can’t wait to have you all to myself finally,” I hear a girl say.

I open the door just a fraction and look across the hall, where Matias a.k.a my baby daddy has a girl pinned up his front door. His mouth is on her neck, the look of abandon on her face warms mine. I can feel my body gets heated as I recall those lips on my skin. I had a few flashback from Matias and I over the course of the last weeks. But to see him in action tonight brings dampness to my body. His hands start to roam her body, grabbing one of her breast roughly. Seriously, get in your fucking apartment. I humph. I am more turned on now. I think he heard me humph because he halts all movement. He is about to look over his shoulder when I shut the door. I can feel heat radiating from my skin. I finally hear the door from the apartment open and close over the racing of my racing heart.

The feverish feeling continued to spread throughout my body like rapid fire. I forget all about the water and the ice cream as I race back to my bedroom. Closing and locking the door, I go to my bed with only thing on my mind, something that I have never done on my own.

The fire is consuming me.

With hooded eyes, I see my hand travel the length of my body, toward the inside of my panty. The first touch makes my toes curl into the bed. My hand trembles as I continue to move my fingers, over and over my sensitive bud. I moan, grabbing my breast with the same roughness I saw Matias do earlier. I feel the momentum building, spreading this fire to every corner of my body. When I scream out there is one name on my lips and green eyes staring at me through the stars I see.

Will’s eyes were blue. That is last thought I have before I fall asleep, with no trouble.

MORNING COMES TOO soon as I rush to the bathroom to vomit. Morning sickness is no joke. I continue to dry heave as the urge to pee comes.

I clean myself up and go to the kitchen; I turn on the coffee machine. As I smell the coffee brewing, the smell starts to make me sick.

“Is that for me?” I hear Katia say as she walks in to the kitchen.

“Yeah, now it is,” I say walking to the living, away from the smell. I sit on the couch, leaning my head down, to ride off the nauseated feeling.

“When do your parents get in?” Katia asks as she pours my coffee on to her mug.

“They said today. But they didn’t give me a time. You know them; they will get here when they do.” I bring my head up slowly from in between my legs. I lean my head back on the sofa ledge.

“Well, I have some errands to run today. Then I have to stop at the bookstores for some games that I want for my lessons next weeks. Do you want to come?”

“Nah. I want to get my room clean and get ready for my parents. I still have not yet gone over what I am going to say. And should I tell them who the father is?” I ask. I need advice; I have no idea what to say or how to even bring it up.

“I think you need to tell them you are pregnant first, then you can talk about the father after their shock wears off. I mean, I would be careful in telling your parents that you are a hoe.”

“Shut up!” I yell as I throw a pillow at her. I know it will not reach her but it’s the intention that counts. She laughs all the way to her bedroom.

“Hey how come there was no breakfast with my coffee?” she yells from her room.

“Because morning sickness is a real thing,” I say. I can feel my tummy getting better. I rub my hand over it, still amazed that this is real. I am going to be a mom something that I have wanted since Will and I said ‘I do’ but the time was never right. I just hope that Will doesn’t hate me. For this and for last night. There are times I can’t recall his smell or the sound of his voice. I don’t want to forget him, but I think my heart is making room for the baby inside me. My heart is healing. This little flutter in my stomach is my new reason to live.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Katia asks, as she comes back out of her room. She has her hair in a bun with light make up and yoga pants with a t-shirt that reads “Bazinga”.

“Yes I am sure. Go out. Be merry.” I yawn from my spot on the couch. During my musing, I had laid down. Even though I just woke up not even ten minutes ago, I am so tired and sleepy.

“I think you need to get out more. Get fresh air. Let’s go have breakfast at our favorite café.” Katia continues to beg. I know she wants me to be out of the apartment, but I am afraid to run in to him or worse, run into the girl from last night. Yeah that thought keeps me in my current position.

“I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep well last night, just thinking about my parents visit. Can I have a rain check for tomorrow? We can take my parents. Well if they are still here after I tell them their daughter is a hoe.”

“Hoe, you already owe me so many rain checks, but like all the rest I will let this one slide, since I know how hard today and well everyday has been. Love you. And eat something. Read your baby book and see what helps with morning sickness. Call me if you need anything.” She leans down to give me a kiss on my forehead. “Oh do you want me to be here for when you tell your parents?”

“No. It’s okay. I think I am taking them to lunch or dinner, depending at what time they get here. You know my mother will never make a scene in a public place. So she will keep her mouth shut. And the ride back here will probably help cool her down a bit.”

“See, you have a game plan already. Now you just need the words. Good luck my friend.” She drapes a plush throw over me.

And she is out the door. I settle into the couch and close my eyes. This pregnancy is making me so tired and I am only eight weeks along.

The vibration coming from my side was what woke me up. I reach for it and I am about to throw it on the floor when I realized it’s my phone.

I see ‘Mom’ flashing on the screen. I swipe the screen to answer.

“Hello,” I speak, sleep lacing my voice.

“Sophia, honey it’s mom. We are almost there. Are you still asleep? It’s two in the afternoon.” That makes me jump from my warm cocoon. Shit. I sit back down. My stomach is literally empty, but I can feel bile rising up my throat. I get up slowly, and walk to my room. I need to take a shower. My mother is still going on and on about how sleeping too many hours can cause cancer. Everything can cause cancer with my mother. Then she starts talking about how a friend of one of her comadres actually got cancer because she slept too much.

“Mom, I need to jump in the shower and get ready. Dad still has the key right?” I say interrupting her story, which I am probably hear about it again at some point today. I hear her ask him.

“He says yes. We will see you soon.”

I jump into the shower, washing away the tiredness I feel. I run my hand down my body and I feel the small bump that’s forming. That makes me pause. Once I tell my parents that’s it, it will become real. I know it’s real, but like real, real. Right now, we are only three that know: Katia, baby, and me. After my mother finds out, it will be half of the population of Texas. The guilt of not telling Matias is starting to weigh on me. Should I tell him first? Before my parents? No. He has his own life and the last thing he wants is a baby. I mean last night he brought a girl home, how many has he brought over the last month? He is a bachelor; he doesn’t need a baby to complicate his life. I get out of the shower and dry myself. I hear voices coming from the living room. I put on some boy shorts and a tee. I walk toward the living room, wrapping my hair in a towel.

“Mami, papi, are you here already?” I say as I swing the towel over my head. That’s when my eyes land on green ones. “Oh, hi,” I say to Matias. I see his eyes roam my body and the instant his green eyes meet mine again I can see the fire in them, making my nipples harden from his eye assault. I see him lift an eyebrow while his mouth forms a smirk when I fold my arms over my chest. Jerk. He knows what he did.

“Sophia, this nice young gentleman helped us carry all our stuff,” my mother says. I know what her mind is thinking already. If only she knew that we already crossed the forbidden bridge.

“Yeah I was leaving the building when I saw them on the curb getting their luggage. I just didn’t know they were the parents of one of my lovely and friendly neighbors,” Matias says not taking his eyes from me.

“Do you want to join us for lunch? Sophia just needs to go get ready.” My mother inviting Matias to our lunch is not happening on my watch.

“Mom, I’m sure Matias has other things to do than have lunch with us. Right, Matias?” I give him my worst eye glare daring him to accept, but also letting him know that he will die if he does.

“Yes, I’m sorry I can’t join you today, but hopefully one day from your stay we can all have dinner,” he says politely, giving my mother his full mommy-melting smile. Jerk. “Well, I bid you good afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Montenegro. Sophia, I will see you later.”

“Bye.” That’s all I say as I shut the door behind him.

“Mami,” I say as I hug her, giving her the greeting that I wanted to do before I saw Matias.

“Papi,” I hug him and kiss him on the cheek.

“How’s my princess?”

“Seriously, dad I’m like twenty-eight years old. But I am doing well. Let me finish dressing,” I say as I walk back to my room. “What do you feel like eating?” I say as I roam my closet for some comfortable clothes.

“Is Katia coming with us?” my mother asks.

“No. She had some things to do today, but she will meet us for dinner.” I grab leggings, a long t-shirt, and some ballet flats. Going to the restroom, I do my make-up. I hear my stomach growl. I realize I have not eaten a thing today. That is not good for the baby. I feel like eating something fresh. Like fruit or a salad.

“Is she dating anyone?” my mother asks.

“Who?” I reply as I apply my mascara.

“Katia.”

“Not that I know of, why?” I have a bad feeling about where this is going.

“Well Katia is a nice girl, a teacher. Matias seems like a good guy, and he is an architect. I am just wondering if they could both join us for dinner one night.”

Oh. Hell. No!

“No, mom just no. Matias is not Katia’s type. She will tell you that tonight when she joins us. So get that matchmaking thought out of your head.” I sound more upset than I should as I yell back at her. My mother will read into it too. She is very cunning in that sense. She can learn so many things by your voice.

“Ok. It was just a suggestion. Why are you mad?” I knew it.

“I’m not. I’m just hungry. Are you ready?” I ask as I walk out of the bedroom, grabbing my bag from the floor.

“We are ready, right Theresa?” My father has been very quiet since they got here.

“Daddy you have been quiet.” I want to know what’s going on.

“Sorry, mija, it’s just that something is different about you. And I can’t figure it out what it is.”

Maybe I should’ve been more worried about my father rather than mom.

“I’m just happy I guess. I have the two more wonderful people in the world with me,” I say with a huge smile on my face.

“Okay now I know there is something wrong. Out with it Sophia Lee,” my mom demands.

“I’m offend that you would think that you and dad are not my favorite people in the world.”

“Are you in some kind of trouble? Is it drugs?” My mother, always to the point. “You said that you were not drinking anymore.”

“No mom. Can we go? I’m starving,” I say as I get closer to the door.

“Tell us, Sophia.”

“Dad!” I say with pleading eyes. I am really hungry and I did not want to do this in privacy.

“I am not moving until you tell me Sophia Lee.”

“There is nothing wrong,” I reconfirm that with a smile. My mother does not budge an inch. “Fine do you want to know what is ‘wrong’?” I air quote that last part. “Because I honestly don’t think it’s wrong, I actually can’t wait to do this.”

“Oh God, you are moving away aren’t you? To some foreign country and marry an Italian man.”

“Mom, not all foreign countries have Italian men. But no I’m not moving. I’m pregnant.” I don’t see either of my parents blink for a few seconds. Then my mother jumps into action.

“Where is my phone? Where did I leave it?” Okay that’s fast, she is going to call all our relatives.

“Dad, why don’t you say anything?” I see pity enter his eyes. Not the reaction I was going for.

“Where is my phone, Ernesto?” Mom yells.

“Mom, you can wait to tell all my tias. Aren’t you going to congratulate me?”

“I’m not looking for my phone to call your tias, I’m calling Dr. Durate,” she says with her hand on her hips, eyes roaming every surface of the living room looking out for her phone.

“Dr. Duarte? Why?” I am so confused. But she can’t call him. He will know it is Matias’ love child. He will add two and two. And I can’t have him telling the father just yet.

“Because you are off your medication again, and having another breakdown again. Pregnant. Aye Jesus y Maria,” she whispers the last part while doing the sign of the cross.

“Mom, no I am not having a breakdown. I am serious. I am eight weeks pregnant.”

“Aye Dios mio.” She sits down on the sofa, once again doing the sign of the cross. “How did this happen? Did you get IVF after all?”

“No. It was all in a traditional manner.”

“So, you met someone?”

“No.” I know it is not going to go well.

“So, how Sophia Lee? Help me understand what you are saying.”

“I had a one-night stand.” She just freezes. Without moving or blinking her eyes. I can’t tell if she is breathing. “Mom?”

“Aye Dios mio now my daughter is a …”

“So, who is hungry?” Leave it to dad to try to interrupt and change the subject. I know he always has my back even when he is disappointed in me like at this moment.