It was a little past 1 a.m. when I awoke to light touches across my skin. Little concentric circles around my ear and down my neck sent goosebumps down my spine. I had fallen asleep in Samuel’s arms on the couch for the second time.

After we kissed, I cried. I cried until I fell asleep and he let me. He understood I needed it. He always seemed to understand what I needed. I liked that.

“Hi,” I whispered.

“Hi to you,” he whispered back.

“Have you been awake this whole time?” I asked.

“No, I dozed off for a bit and then spent the rest of the time watching you sleep. You’re so peaceful when you sleep,” he said, rubbing my temple.

“As opposed to when I’m awake and being an asshole?” I teased.

“Your words, not mine,” he said, grinning.

I let the smile on my face widen. I really couldn’t help it. Samuel was slowly opening me up, slowly making his way inside. There wasn’t a minute that passed that I didn’t wonder if that was a mistake but I decided to just let it play out. I needed to let it happen. I had grown so tired of being so cold. And Samuel was so very warm.

“Do you want to spend tomorrow together?” he asked.

“You mean today?”

“Technically, yes. How about today and tomorrow?” he said, his voice laced with excitement.

“What did you have in mind?” I asked, my curiosity growing.

“How about we go camping? The place I’m thinking of is really close, it wouldn’t take us that long to get there,” he said.

“Camping? In this weather? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I asked. It seemed a little too cold out for a tent. Although, the thought of huddling together to share body heat had its charms at the moment.

“Of course. I mean, it’s in a cabin not a tent. I suppose that could make a difference to those who are a little less adventurous like yourself,” he joked.

“Less adventurous? No way! I am very adventurous. I’m in.”

“Good.” He smiled. I was pretty sure he just used that whole reverse psychology thing on me to get his way. Not that I minded. Camping was always fun, even if I hadn’t done it in a decade. I mean, it was going to be in a cabin so it wouldn’t exactly be “roughing it”.

“I should go so you can get some sleep,” he said, sadness in his voice. He looked at me, waiting for a response.

“Please don’t. I don’t want to be alone,” I said, looking down, hoping.

“Okay, Delilah. I’ll stay. Should I…”

“Oh my god, wait. There was a woman at your house. Oh my god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“Delilah, no, no, calm down.” He laughed. “That’s my sister. She’s watching Mason for me,” he said.

“Oh, that’s a relief.” I exhaled. And it really was. I’ve probably never been this happy and relieved about anything. His sister! Of course!

“Was someone a little worried I had moved on?” he teased.

“Well, no. I mean, yes, a little. But, I mean, you know what? This is fine,” I said. I was definitely blushing by this point and apparently couldn’t even form a decent sentence.

“Way to put a sentence together there, babe.” He laughed.

“We should be getting some sleep.” I rolled my eyes. I got up from the couch and started walking toward the hallway. I definitely wasn’t sleeping the rest of the night on the couch. I had a perfectly good bed.

I turned back to Samuel. “Are you coming?”

“Um, yeah, sure.”

He seemed nervous, maybe because he’d never even been in my room let alone my bed. I wasn’t worried. We definitely weren’t going to be having sex, if that’s what he was worried about. As much as I wanted to, tonight wasn’t the night for that. Just looking at him made me warm inside. The way his arms flexed and relaxed, the clench in his jaw, the way he appeared both hard and soft at the same time with his soothing smile and gentle hands. I smiled at him in a way I hoped would ease his nerves.

I led him down the hall by his hand and turned left into my bedroom. I heard him kick his shoes off at the door before walking in. I was still dressed in clothes that were definitely not comfortable for sleep so I rifled through my dresser to find something more comfortable but still not so revealing. I settled on an old t-shirt and some sweatpants. Surely, that would curve any sexual tension. Soft light from outside lamps flooded the otherwise dark room and I excused myself for a moment to change.

When I returned, he’d seated himself at the edge of the bed and was staring down at the floor. At my presence, he looked up at me and smiled. I could feel everything inside me rebelling against my previous no sex decision. Everything in me wanted Samuel, on top of me, inside me, to become part of me.

I didn’t know what he sensed in me but he shifted a bit. He got up and walked the few steps to me, caressing my cheek with his hand. He kissed me on the forehead and I felt his hand travel down the side of me before gripping my hand.

“Let’s go to bed,” he whispered, leading me over to my side of the bed.

He crawled in and moved himself to the other side, holding the blanket open for me to crawl in. I nuzzled myself in next to him and he tucked the blanket in over me. I lay facing him and he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me in closer. I inhaled the scent of him, clean soap and spices. I gazed at him for a few minutes, cataloging every stray freckle, every tiny scar. He had one right at the edge of his eyebrow that cut into it just slightly. I wondered what the story was behind it.

Just as my eyes were beginning to shut, I felt him lean in; I felt his lips on mine. There was an urgency this time, a hunger. His mouth devoured mine and I returned the same passion. His hands moved over my hips, pulling at me. I ran my hands through his hair the way I had imagined it the first time I really studied him. I moved over his collarbones and shoulders, across his jawline. And then everything slowed down, became more gentle, more delicate. Samuel pressed his lips lightly to my cheeks, my jaw, my eyelids. He exhaled.

“Can I tell you a secret, Delilah?” he whispered.

“Of course,” I said.

“You scare me. In the best way,” he breathed.

I moved closer into him in response. Sometimes words weren’t needed. And sometimes knowing someone saw something in you no one else did was all it took to start falling and hoping that wherever you would land would be worth it.