Chapter Ten
Lia
Shit, why didn’t I dress better today? How could I have possibly known, though, that we would run into Lucian’s ex-whatever at my doctor’s appointment? The woman looks like she belongs on a runway, and I look just a touch above a homeless person. I almost dropped my pen when he said her name. After seeing both Monique, who he had admitted to having sex with, and now Laurie, I see a definite trend in the type of women Lucian prefers—or used to prefer. Looking down at my jeans and flip-flops, I wonder how he can’t help but find me lacking compared to the woman fawning all over him. Dammit, even my toenail polish is chipped! I haven’t exactly been thinking of stuff like that since…
She is doing her best to check me out over his shoulder. I waver between wanting to slide down a few seats and hope that she’ll think we aren’t together and kicking him in the shin for not bothering to introduce me. I’m leaning toward being pissed off at him when I feel eyes burning into me. Looking up, I find her staring at me in puzzlement. I decide I’m skipping the shins and going straight for a kick to his balls if he doesn’t speak up. Before I can finish with my plan to maim him, he takes my hand and pulls me gently to my feet before wrapping his arm tightly around me. When he introduces me as his girlfriend, I feel the childish urge to stick my tongue out at the now shocked other woman. That’s right, sister; Lucian is now slumming. Stick that in your Botox mouth and smoke it. Oh, my God, Rose is rubbing off on me. When I extend my hand to her, she looks like she is on the verge of a fit or a seizure of some kind. I can only imagine what she would have done had he called me his wife. Crap, I would have paid every penny in my bank account to see that.
When the nurse calls my name, I gladly gather my ton of paperwork, which I’m not even halfway finished with, and turn to find that Lucian has already picked up my purse and seems determined to go back with me. I would rather see the doctor alone, but I don’t want to leave him out here with Botox Barbie. From the speed he’s rushing me through the doorway, he must feel the same way. He holds my clipboard while the nurse ushers me to the scales and takes my weight. He is smart enough to turn away until the nurse is finished. I don’t know many women who would gladly have a man know her weight, regardless of the number. Some things in life just need to remain a mystery.
When we reach the exam room, the nurse motions for me to step up onto the table and says the doctor will be in soon. Lucian sets my stuff on the countertop next to the sink before walking over to me. He raises a brow at the stirrups on either side of my legs. “This table has a lot of possibilities. I wonder if they sell to individuals.”
“You’re sick,” I giggle, feeling lighter than I have in days. Even meeting his perfect ex hasn’t shaken me…too much. Well, it does make me wonder why his taste in women has changed so dramatically. I’m nothing at all like the stick-thin, haughty woman I just met. Since he is so relaxed, I decide to put the question before him. “So…Laurie, huh?”
Instead of looking uncomfortable, he actually smirks. “Yeah, sorry to put you through that. We both got off pretty easy, though.”
I smile in return. “I think it was the whole ‘girlfriend’ thing that had her so tongue-tied. I couldn’t decide if she was going to faint or throw up.”
“I’d have paid good money to see the first one,” Lucian admits. “I’ve only seen her rattled a few times.”
I shake my head saying, “Let me guess, the last time before today was when you broke up with her?”
He cringes dramatically. “That was just ugly. When she figured out that she wasn’t going to be able to talk me out of it, she threw a fucking vase at my head.”
I begin laughing, unable to imagine the woman in the waiting room doing something so…normal, at least for a teenager. “No! Did she hit her target?”
“Hell no,” he says, looking offended. “I move a little faster than that, and she throws like a girl.”
We are both laughing over his comment when the door opens and someone I presume is the doctor steps in. She appears to be in her fifties, with shoulder-length brown hair, heavily tinged with gray. I like her immediately when she puts her hands on her hips and looks at Lucian with a resigned huff. “What are you doing in here with my patient, Lucian Quinn?”
He grins in return, looking a tad sheepish. “We’re together,” he says, taking my hand. “I’m Lia’s boyfriend.”
She takes his sleeve and starts ushering him toward the door. “I don’t care if you’re her God, you’ll have to go back to the waiting area. I have to adhere to all of these privacy policies they have floating around now.” I almost laugh when I see him holding onto the doorframe, clearly torn about leaving. Dr. Kay gives him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, saying, “I’ll take care of her, Luc.” He reluctantly walks out into the hallway and she shuts the door behind him. She turns back to me, shaking her head. “I swear that boy is just as stubborn today as he was when he was a child.”
I smile in answer, feeling myself relax. I’m secretly glad she made Lucian leave the room, although I hope Laurie has already gone. “So, you knew the boy before the man?” I ask, dying of curiosity. I wonder if she knew Lucian’s parents before they passed away.
She walks to the sink to wash her hands, looking back over her shoulder as she says, “Oh, yes, his mother and I were childhood friends. I still miss her,” she adds quietly, seeming lost in thought for a moment. As she dries her hands, she looks me over before sitting on a stool next to the exam table. “Luc told me what happened to you when he called to make your appointment. I’m very sorry that you had to endure something like that, Lia.”
I feel my eyes well up at her kindness. I feel the crazy urge to lay my head on her shoulder and soak up all the comfort I know I would find there. My emotions, it seems, are still all over the place. Instead, I manage to get out a shaky, “Thank you.”
She reaches over to pat my hand before opening a file. “Luc had a copy of your chart sent to me from the hospital.” She digs a pair of glasses from her jacket pocket and glances through the papers the folder contains. “I know I need to use that fancy iPad for all of this, but I still love to flip through pages.” Raising her brow, she whispers, “Plus, I’ve already broken one of the things by dropping it a dozen times.” I laugh in response, relieved that I’ve recovered from the threatened crying jag of a few moments ago. “All right, Lia, let’s look at your nose first.”
Gently, she removes the bandages and the splint from my nasal area, throwing them into the trashcan behind her. She gently probes my nose, causing me to wince, as the area is still tender. When she pulls back, I look up and ask, “Has it healed?”
She nods, saying, “It looks good. There is some remaining swelling, and as you noticed, it’s still tender. You may end up with a small bump on the ridge of it, but it’s too early to tell. Just let me know if you have any issues with severe congestion. As for your wrist and fingers, you’re a few weeks away from removing the cast. I’ll have the girls out front schedule another appointment for that.”
“Okay,” I say disappointed. I had hoped to get rid of it all today, but at least my nose is free now.
She drops back on her stool and studies me for a moment. “How are the contusions on your body healing?”
“They’re mostly fading now.” I hope she won’t press me on seeing for herself. That’s still not something I want others looking at, even if the evidence is almost gone now.
She nods, seeming satisfied with my answer. She looks in my folder again, asking, “Are you having any headaches, even minor?”
“Just a bit the first few days I was home but nothing since then.”
She makes a note in my chart. “Good. I’ll want to schedule one more CT scan just to make sure all of the swelling in your brain has subsided. According to your chart, it was almost normal when the hospital released you. Are you still taking the pain pills you were prescribed?”
“No,” I wrinkle my nose, thinking about how bad the pills made me feel. “I really haven’t needed anything, even Tylenol, in days.”
“And the only medication you’re currently taking is birth control pills?”
“Yes,” I say automatically before I freeze. My breath wheezes from my lungs, and I feel dizzy with shock. “No! Oh, dear Lord, I haven’t taken them since…” I’m in complete panic mode now, unable to believe that something I’ve done for so long has completely slipped my mind for not just days, but weeks.
“Lia.” She pats my knee reassuringly. “It’s perfectly understandable that you would forget that with everything that has happened. Have you had sexual relations since you left the hospital?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to believe this is happening. “Yes, daily…for four or five days,” I admit haltingly. Sometimes more than once a day, but I don’t add that part. Why, oh why couldn’t we have waited to have sex until I had seen the doctor?
She still looks calm, even in the face of my obvious distress. “Do you know where you are in your cycle?”
“I have no idea,” I say, wracking my brain. “I don’t have a period very often since I went on the birth control pills, so I haven’t been keeping up with it. I’ve never had a reason to.” She probably assumes I said that because I’ve always been careful when in reality, other than once, I never had sex before I met Lucian. “I’ll take one as soon as I get home.”
“No, don’t start them again yet. It’s probably fine, Lia, and I don’t want to scare you, but on the outside chance that you’ve conceived, you don’t need to take them until we know for sure. I…there is another option if you are interested. There is a prescription for a morning-after pill called Ella, which is actually effective up to five days after intercourse. This is completely up to you, Lia.”
I feel a wave of relief roll through me at her words. But before I can say yes, I’m filled with uncertainty. I know it’s my body, but isn’t this something I should discuss with Lucian? I can’t hide something like this from him, can I? “Do…I mean…is there time to talk to Luc first?” A part of me can’t believe I’m even asking her this. There is no choice to be made here is there? Lucian and I aren’t ready to be parents. I have a stepfather who tried to rape me somewhere out in the world and Lucian is mired in a past which still haunts him. What decision is to be made here? Shit, I still can’t do this without him knowing. I’ll tell him and then we’ll both just be relieved that we found out in time.
“I think it’s a very good idea to speak with your partner…or Luc, in this case. Just call my office tomorrow morning after you’ve talked it over and let me know what you decide. You’d need to take the pill at some point tomorrow, though, to ensure its effectiveness.”
We talk for a few more minutes before she ushers me to the door. Lucian is standing against the opposite wall, thumbing through his smartphone. For a moment, I’m afraid he overheard our conversation, but the easy smile on his face says differently. “Okay, baby?” he asks as he walks over to look at my newly uncovered nose.
Dr. Kay clucks her tongue at him. “Just couldn’t go to the waiting room as you were told, could you?”
He gives her his best innocent look. “I was staying close in case Lia needed me.” He gives me a wink, and we both know it’s because he wanted to avoid another possible run-in with Laurie. We say goodbye to the doctor and he peels off some bills to pay for the visit despite my protests. I make another appointment to have my cast removed and a follow-up CT scan. Lucian guides me through the Laurie-free waiting room and to the car idling at the curb. We say a few words to Sam before settling onto the leather seats. He picks up my hand, kissing my fingers before asking, “Did you like Dr. Kay?”
“She’s wonderful,” I murmur, still reeling from the conversation she and I had had. Should I tell him now? No, if I do, he more than likely won’t go to the office and he needs this today. He already seems more relaxed than he has in days. We’ll talk tonight when he comes home. I’ll make him dinner and wear something other than my usual home attire of yoga pants. “She sure knows how to handle you,” I tease, trying to lighten the mood. I want his happy mood to continue, and he’s far too perceptive where I’m concerned.
My mouth drops open as he reaches down to palm his cock through the pants he’s wearing. “Well, she’s seen this many times through the years. It didn’t start out this big, you know.” I don’t know who’s choking on laughter more, Sam or me. The other man might not be able to see where Lucian’s hand is, but I’m certain by the way his shoulders are shaking that Sam knows what Lucian’s referring to.
“So, she’s holding that secret over your head?” I manage to choke out. He gives me a naughty look at my use of the word ‘head’ and I smack his leg. “Stop, Luc, or I’ll never be able to look the woman in the eyes again.” He removes his hand from his crotch, still teasing me playfully.
When we reach his office, he asks me if I want to come in. Even though I’m tempted, I decide to go back to the apartment to regroup. I also need to check my online grades from my final exams and make sure I have the classes I need before my last semester begins. In other words, I need to do normal things today to try to find my routine again and so does he. “Call me when you get home, baby,” he says. When I just nod, he adds sternly, “I mean it, Lia. I’m not trying to smother you, but at least for a while, I need to know that you’re okay.”
I cup his face in my hand, stroking his smooth, shaven cheek. “I know, Luc, and I promise I will.” He kisses my lips briefly and starts to exit the car before coming back and kissing me more leisurely. We are both breathing heavily when he finally pulls away. “Something to remember me by today,” he whispers as he steps out and shuts the door behind him. The ache between my legs after his expert kisses assures me that I will indeed think of him all day.
Lucian
Cindy looks up from her desk in surprise when I stride off the elevator in front of her. “Luc! I wasn’t expecting you in today. How’s Lia doing?” She looks around behind me, as if expecting her to be there. If I had my way, she would be chained to my side right now and not going back home alone.
“Good morning, Cindy. No, Lia is on her way home. She had a doctor’s appointment this morning. I decided to come in for the rest of the day afterwards.”
Cindy crooks a brow at me and finally calls bullshit. “She kicked you out, huh?”
I grin as I say, “Something like that. Has Aidan had any problems while I’ve been away?” I know without a doubt that Cindy knows exactly what’s been going on at Quinn Software, so she’s my first stop before calling Aidan in for a status update.
“Things have been running smoothly, Luc. Aidan met with Kenson yesterday and said it went well.” Kenson is a software company I’m interested in acquiring. They are one of Quinn’s partners and would prosper under better management. Their current owners are too busy bickering amongst themselves to realize what a goldmine they’re sitting on. It’s a good time to buy while they hate each other and are ready to walk away.
“That sounds good. Can you have him come to my office, please? And Lia is doing well. It’s been tough for her, but she is starting to get back on her feet again.”
“I’m glad, Luc,” she says softly. “I’ve been praying for you both.”
I incline my head before walking into my office. It still looks exactly the same as when I left it in a panic to go find Lia weeks ago. I walk behind my desk and settle in my chair. Damn, I never knew how much I missed this normalcy until now. Before my unusual sentimental thoughts can continue, Aidan knocks once before walking in. His face looks drawn and tired, and I feel a stab of guilt at dumping so much on him so suddenly. “Luc! Good to see you back here, man. I wasn’t expecting that for at least another week.” I stand as he gives me a brief bro-hug before settling into one of the chairs in front of my desk. “So, I take it that Lia is doing well if you’re here?”
“She is doing better. She had a check-up this morning and was able to remove the splint from her nose.” Her usual pert nose was still swollen and now has a small bump on the ridge of it.
“That’s great, I’m glad to hear it. How is she doing…with the other stuff?”
I recline back in my chair, thumbing a pen on my knee. “It’s been hard for her. She’s dealing with a lot, but I think she’s turned a corner. Lia is much stronger than people imagine; she’s had to be. She caught me doing a line a few days ago,” I admit, needing someone to talk to about it.
His eyes are huge as he processes my words. “Shit! I thought you were trying to quit?”
“I was…I am,” I say as I run my hands through my hair. “After we made it home, some shit happened, and it just fucked with my resolve. Even though it makes me sick that she knows, maybe it’s better. I have to stop, no matter what it takes, and it was getting hard to hide. She deserves better than that.”
“So do you,” Aidan adds softly, ever the loyal friend. I think back to Lia staring at me in shock as I prepared to snort a line, and I want to be whole again for the first time in eight years. And not just for her. Finally, I want it for myself. I want to be a man Lia is proud to have by her side…always. There is no way her childhood Prince Charming used coke. I refuse to be another person in her life who has disappointed her, and that is exactly what I felt like. Even though she handled it better than I would have imagined, it was still a humiliating moment that I don’t want to relive. Aidan grimaces. “Does this mean you’re going to continue your new chain-smoking hobby?”
I shake my head, wanting to cringe at the thought. “Hell, no. I’m not sure why that offends you so much since you smoke.”
“I’m just a social smoker,” he grins. “Well, maybe a stress one, as well. Plus, the chicks dig it.”
“You fucking liar,” I deadpan. “In my brief time of smoking, I saw more female noses turning up as I walked by than I care to admit. My aunt may actually be relieved it’s not my vice of choice.”
Aidan almost falls out of his chair as he leans forward. “You’re not seriously going to tell Aunt Fae you’re doing cocaine?”
“I am,” I say calmly, although inside I’m just as nervous as he is. I love my aunt, but she’s probably going to kick my ass. I need her help, though. I don’t want to enter a treatment facility, but I know it’s going to be too hard to stop on my own and possibly even dangerous. I need her medical expertise.
“Dude,” Aidan shifts looking nervous, “please don’t rat me out. I haven’t done any of that in ages.” I give him a look that lets him know his life is his own. He knows I’d never betray his trust just as I know he wouldn’t betray mine. “So, you mentioned some stuff going on since Lia’s been home?”
I realize in that moment that Aidan and I haven’t had a chance to really talk in the last few weeks, which is unusual. He has been my confidant since we were boys, and there is very little of importance that goes on in my life that he doesn’t know. “Well, I know who Lia’s father is.”
He looks thoughtful for a moment before saying, “And this isn’t good news?”
Aidan, of course, isn’t surprised that I would look into Lia’s background. He doesn’t know that, unlike other women I’ve been involved with, it was almost an afterthought. I don’t think there could have been anything which would have kept me away from her. I was too far gone from the moment I met her. “You’ve heard of Lee Jacks?”
“Of course,” he answers before his mouth falls open. I seem to be surprising Aidan a lot today, which is hard to do. “You aren’t saying…” When I incline my head, he whistles. “Holy shit! How in the hell did that happen?” Before I can make a sarcastic comment, he waves me off. “I know how, smartass. I mean, how did Lia’s mother end up with Jacks? From what I’ve gathered, they wouldn’t exactly run in the same circles.”
“I believe that their circumstances were more similar at one time than they are now. It was just a brief thing, and he never knew about Lia. Actually, if I hadn’t tipped him off by checking into his personal life after finding out about the association with Lia’s mother, he would probably never have known.”
“Wow,” Aidan muses still looking shell-shocked. “Jacks is somewhat of a mystery man. But there are rumors and plenty of them. Does she know?”
“No,” I admit, “but I don’t know how long I can keep it from her. He’s pushing hard to tell her, but I think she needs some time to recover from everything she’s been through first. This will be a huge shock to her.”
“No kidding. If the guy has a single ounce of humanity in his body, then he’s got to be choking on guilt for all that Lia has endured.”
“Unless he’s a good actor, he’s feeling it. I don’t know if it’s driven by mere curiosity or something more, but he seems very drawn to her. Enough to crash our dinner last week to meet her.”
“This is like Jerry Springer shit,” Aidan marvels. “They write books about this kind of messed-up stuff. Wait; did he have anything to do with her mother turning herself in out of the blue?”
I had mentioned her mother’s arrest to Aidan over the phone but hadn’t gone into any details. “Yeah, and he’s looking for her stepfather.”
“Prison’s too good for that bastard,” Aidan snarls, echoing my sentiments exactly. It’s something Lee and I don’t see eye-to-eye on, but what am I supposed to do? Recommend he kill the sick fuck instead, or better yet, help me find him so I can have the pleasure? “Man, no wonder you’re stressed. That’s a lot to deal with.”
“It is what it is,” I say simply. I look him over, noticing again how tired he looks. “What’s going on with you? You look like shit.” Aidan and I are nothing if not blunt with each other.
“Thanks,” he says dryly as he runs a hand along his jaw. “I’m just not sleeping that well. You know I have problems with that at the best of times.” Aidan has always been somewhat of an insomniac, but it looks as if things have been worse than usual lately.
“I appreciate you stepping in and running things here while I was with Lia. I apologize for dumping that on you; I know it was a lot to ask.”
“You know I’ve always got your back. And that’s not the cause of my stress,” he adds quietly. Fuck, I know what’s coming, and I don’t want to hear it, but it’s so clear that he needs to talk right now. There is only one thing, or one person that can brings him this low.
“It’s Cassie,” I say as more of a statement than a question. Where Aidan is concerned, no matter how many women he screws, it’s always her. He has spent most of his adult life trying to fuck her out of his heart and his head.
“Luc, it’s finally happening. She’s coming out of it.” I look at his hopeful face and don’t know what to say. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard this from him through the years and nothing ever changes. When she said his nickname a few weeks ago, it gave him hope. I admit that it’s something new, but there have been other things which seemed to indicate she had some awareness of her surroundings and nothing’s ever come of it. No matter how I feel about Cassie, it kills me to see him go through this kind of torture.
“Aidan…you shouldn’t read too much into her saying your name. She—”
“It’s more than that,” he interrupts me, looking almost excited now. “Her doctor says she’s been interacting some with her nurses and the other patients.”
“Interacting how exactly?” I ask, feeling a ripple of unease running through me.
“Saying thank you and answering questions from fellow patients.”
My ripple of unease is more like a fucking tidal wave now. Aidan is right; this is a new development. Cassie has spoken through the years, but generally words that have no place in the conversation at hand. The doctors have always believed she was talking to herself and not responding to whoever is present at the time. She also has a gut-wrenching habit of rubbing her stomach and humming as if she were still pregnant and singing to her unborn child…my fucking child. I can’t be around her and risk seeing it. I told her doctor to stop sending me reports after the last one, which included that bit of information. It’s a completely messed-up state of affairs that I’m her legal guardian and pay for her care, even though she killed my baby and tried to kill me. It’s pure fucking guilt on my part. I long ago instructed the facility to send their reports to Aidan and Max; I simply couldn’t handle it. “Aidan,” I say, trying to get back on track, but still reeling from his news. “She has spoken at times through the years.”
“But her doctors say this is the first time her words are in the right context. Luc, the new medication regimen they are trying with her is doing something. She’s starting to come back, I can feel it.” Fuck, the only thing I feel at his words is nauseous. I love Aidan like a brother, but his dreams are my nightmares. I don’t want a world that involves Cassie, and I wonder if he even knows what he’s hoping for. She’s killing him little by little without ever laying a hand on him.
I give him the usual song and dance about not getting his hopes up, but I’m only going through the motions. I’m too rattled to put much into it. Finally, I change the subject, and we go through the list he’s made of items that need my attention. When Cindy buzzes my phone to tell me I have a call, I’m grateful. I’m afraid he’ll start talking about Cassie again, and I know that regardless of how much I want to support my friend, this is one subject we’ll never agree on again.
Lia
I’m in the kitchen finishing a simple meal of tacos and Spanish rice. I still haven’t had much of an appetite, so when I was actually craving Mexican food, I decided to seize the opportunity. Luckily, Lucian’s cabinets are fully stocked with most of my favorites from the grocery service we use. I hear the front door open and tense before Lucian’s voice rings through the apartment. “Lia, where are you?”
“I’m in the kitchen,” I call back as I sit a glass of sweet tea in front of my plate and a Corona with a lime wedge in front of his.
“What’s all of this?” he asks, looking surprised as he takes in the plates of food I have on the bar. He closes his arms around me, pulling my back into his front. He runs his nose down my neck, smelling my scent as he does so often before dropping a soft kiss there.
I relax into his big body, loving how safe I feel. “I thought I would make dinner for us tonight. I’m getting kind of tired of restaurant food, and I figured you were, as well.”
When I feel him tug on my ponytail, I smile as I wait for him to explore my new ponytail holder. “Is this…? I see him look over to the trashcan in the corner, which I had pulled out to empty after dinner. The yellow tie hanging from one side is a perfect match for the one I have tied into a bow in my hair. He gives a dramatic sigh. “Thank God, it’s not my underwear this time.” He spins me around until I’m facing him and takes my mouth immediately. I keep my mouth shut to tease him, and then yelp in surprise when he bites my lower lip before licking the sting with his tongue. Lucian’s kiss as usual takes no prisoners. He is a master, knowing exactly how to stroke, suck, and explore. I move against his kiss restlessly, immediately wanting those heavy lips to move lower…much lower, but he cuts me off just as I’m on the verge of begging.
“I’m starving, how about you?” He gives me a devilish grin as I stand pouting up at him. The ass knows exactly what kind of fire he’s started within me. I know that it would only take a few well-placed strokes to change his mind, and I’m seriously debating my next course of action when it hits me. We can’t have sex again until we talk about birth control, or rather the lack of it recently. I had managed to put it out of my mind for the last hour while cooking, but now the fear has reared its head once again. He seems disappointed when I pull away and take my seat at the bar. I feel certain that guilt is written all over my face even though I haven’t put us in this position on purpose. I feel as though there is very little likelihood that we’ve conceived, since I’ve been on birth control for quite a while, but we can’t take any more chances.
“So, how was your day?” I ask when he sits next to me and takes a long sip of his beer. We sound so domesticated in that moment that I find myself trying to swallow a smile. Has there ever been another woman in Lucian’s life who had this with him? I feel a pang as I think of Cassie. Lucian said that no other woman has been in this apartment, but Cassie was obviously a big part of his past. He has promised to tell me about her soon, and I feel as if this will be the last key to understanding who he really is and what he’s been through because I know it’s something horrible from his nightmares.
“It was good…busy. Aidan’s done a great job of keeping things running, so there weren’t many problems to deal with. How about you?”
“It was fine,” I say brightly…going just a tad overboard on the enthusiasm. Between obsessing over my birth control oversight and jumping at every single sound, it has been an exhausting day. I’m wiped out, even though I did nothing physically taxing…well, other than in the shower this morning.
Lucian puts his hand over mine, squeezing it. “I’m proud of you,” he says quietly. I feel my eyes well up, and I’m so grateful when he starts eating without adding anything further. Kindness has been so rare in my life that I still have a hard time processing it when it happens.
When we finish dinner, Lucian insists on cleaning up and orders me to the couch to rest for a while. I fidget nervously, waiting for him to join me. I know the time has arrived for me to talk to him about my doctor’s appointment this morning, but I’d rather have a tooth pulled than have this conversation.
I’ve worked myself into a jittery mess by the time he sits down next to me. When he picks up the television remote, I put my hand over his, stopping him from turning it on. “I…need to talk to you about something,” I begin. He immediately sets the remote back down and turns to give me his full attention. Shit, it’s even worse now. Maybe I should have emailed or texted him instead.
When I don’t say anything else, he finally prompts, “Lia? What is it, baby?”
I normally love his tendency to call me ‘baby,’ but at this moment, I find myself wincing at his choice of endearment. He is beginning to look worried as I sit here floundering, so I close my eyes briefly and fight for composure before speaking. “I…when I saw Dr. Kay this morning, she asked me some questions, and one of them was concerning birth control.” I feel his hand twitch beneath mine and his expression looks frozen.
“Are you pregnant, Lia?” he asks, sounding panicked. His eyes are locked on mine, as if searching for the answer.
“No!” He relaxes minutely before I add, “I mean, I don’t think so.”
He drops my hand, jumping to his feet. “What the hell do you mean, ‘you don’t think so’?’ You either are or you aren’t,” he says in a voice just under a shout. Suddenly, it feels as if he and I have switched places and I’m the calm one and he’s off the deep end. It’s crazy, but the shift has helped to center me. I can’t focus on my own emotions when I’m worried about him.
“Luc,” I say soothingly. “Calm down and just listen for a moment. There is no need to freak out.” He snorts at my statement, and I feel the urge to do something Rose-like and flip him off, but that wouldn’t go over well in his present mood. “When Dr. Kay was reviewing my medical records this morning she noticed that I’m on birth control pills. It hit me when she mentioned it that I hadn’t taken the pills while I was in the hospital.”
“We weren’t exactly having sex in the hospital, Lia,” he says condescendingly. My foot twitches as I hold myself back from throwing something at him. He is always so gentle and considerate with me that I find it hard to believe the person vibrating with tension mere steps away is my Lucian. Quite obviously, pregnancy is a trigger for him…a big one.
“I know that,” I snap back, unable to hold my temper. I bluntly finish what I had been trying to say when he rudely interrupted me. “We have had sex for four days, and I haven’t taken my birth control pills since the day of my attack.” I watch him in alarm as he turns completely white, weaving on his feet unsteadily. I rush to add, “Dr. Kay said she can give me a prescription for a morning-after pill which is actually effective for up to five days. It would keep a pregnancy from happening.”
If I thought my words would comfort him, then I’m dead wrong. “What!” he roars. “You want to terminate the pregnancy?”
I jump to my feet, placing my hands on his heaving chest. “Luc, there is no pregnancy yet, and it’s quite possible there wouldn’t be even without the pill. I’m sorry that I didn’t realize I’d missed my pills, and I promise you that it was an accident.” I don’t know why I feel the need to assure him of that, but he’s so upset that I’m just trying to calm him down.
He steps back, causing my hands to drop to my sides. “I’ve got to get out of here for a while,” he says over his shoulder as he walks toward the door at a fast clip. My jaw drops in shock as he leaves the apartment as if the hounds of Hell are nipping at his heels. I sag weakly to the couch, trying to figure out what just happened. I knew he would probably be upset, but this was more than that; he went all to pieces. Oh, God, what if he has an accident? I get back to my feet and start pacing the floor. I run to the entryway table and grab my cellphone from my purse. I call his number, but it goes to voicemail after a few rings. My texts to him go unanswered, as well. Another few minutes pass before I look through my contacts and click on Sam’s name. He’s the only person I know other than Aidan who might be able to help me.