When I boarded the aircraft, I sunk back into the seat and closed my eyes. I’d have given anything not to have had to endure the long journey back home. No matter how I tried to reason, I felt deeply distressed that Shona was to be placed in the hold of the plane alone. It disturbed me so much I had to use my self-restraint to stay buckled into my seat and not attempt to get off the aircraft.

As soon as we were in the air and the seatbelt light sign had gone off I unfastened my buckle and glanced behind me to find the restroom signs. When I stepped out into the aisle, I began to make my way to the back of the cabin. My gaze fell on the face of a man sleeping soundly. As far as I was concerned he was the man who had stolen my life from me and the last person I’d ever have wanted to be in a confined space with—Noah Haxby.

My heart instantly reacted with an electrical surge which coursed through me like I’d grabbed a live wire. The rhythm floundered and almost stopped when I recognized him. A strangled sob stuck in my throat as I rushed past and trained my eyes on the door of the restroom until I got inside.

The familiar tight feeling of distress gripped my chest as I sat down in the tiny space. If God had a hand in this twist of fate he was being particularly cruel. Why did he have to send yet another test for me? Wasn’t taking my sister enough?

Fighting back my tears, I relieved myself and stood in front of the small rectangular mirror. I looked a mess. Black circles and puffy eyelids were visible signs of the ordeal I had endured. Cupping my hands, I turned on the cold faucet and splashed my face with the water. It felt cool, but somehow not cold enough.

For a couple of minutes, fury scrambled my brain, but I knew that causing a scene would change nothing. It wasn’t like either of us could leave or anything. He was right there and so was I, and I had no option but to tolerate the situation I had found myself in until the plane landed.

I figured it was either a sick coincidence that we were on the same flight or Annalise knew, but had been powerless to do anything about it. I hated him, and nothing would have soothed my aching heart more than to have hurt him on my niece’s behalf. His tour was responsible for Shona’s daughter being an orphan and for me being left to take care of her child.

The world knew more about Noah Haxby’s reputation than of any other rock star, and from what I’d seen in the papers my opinion was the same as many: he was a low-life rock star with no conscience. It wasn’t all rumor and speculation either, because according to the press he’d even been banned from seeing his own son. That spoke volumes as to the kind of person he was.

Several minutes later, I was still standing inside the restroom but as anger had taken over from grief it had given me the courage to make my way back to my seat. When I opened the restroom door I saw there was less than thirty feet between me and my place, with Noah situated less than ten feet from what I perceived then to be my safe haven until we landed.

I closed my eyes briefly and a flash back in my mind produced the face of my sister lying still and lifeless. It gave me the motivation to brave my way to my seat. My eyes honed in on the back of his head as soon as I opened the door and I felt relieved he was still asleep. My stomach, which had been constantly acidic since I’d heard the news, was knotted again and I felt sick with anger that the man I held responsible for what happened to Shona was sharing her last journey with her. Even after her death it felt like he was still capable of causing more chaos for us.

Once I was back in my seat exhaustion washed over me. The least amount of effort wiped me out. I wasn’t sure if it was the cabin pressure and feeling dehydrated, but whatever had contributed to it, I welcomed. Sleep gave my aching heart a break for a few hours.

Glancing out at the seamless, black night sky calmed me down. There was a sense of serenity and I hoped Shona was at peace wherever she was. It was the last thing I remembered as my eyelids drooped and I fell into an uneasy slumber.

* * *

Someone shrieked loudly, and I woke startled. My pulse raced from the sudden noise and in my disoriented state I sat bolt upright, turning my head to look at the commotion behind me. When I saw what was happening my temper rose and stopped just short of my tipping point.

A fan was flirting outrageously with Noah, and I felt both infuriated and sick. She was perched on top of his lap as they grinned shamelessly as she took selfies of them. His behavior confirmed everything I’d ever read about him. Their raucous conduct was ridiculous and disrespectful considering what had happened to my sister.

Neither showed any consideration toward any of the people around them and I felt furious. My eyes narrowed at the arrogance which appeared to ooze from every pore. I was about to turn away when he shoved the excited girl back to her feet and into the aisle where she headed back toward her seat. I watched him, watching her until he turned his face back in my direction. He obviously caught me observing his behavior and his lips curved into a slow smile. The smile felt salacious. Did he just hit on me? I threw him a look of disgust and turned back to face the front.

It was then I had the weirdest sensation like he was still watching me. The most fucked up part of it all was the fleeting thought that passed through my mind of how good looking he was. The notion that I’d even registered his appearance perturbed me.

I never moved from my seat for the rest of the night and sat in a paralyzed grief wondering how Shona would have reacted to him being confined in an airplane near to her. I slept again until the cabin lights went on at 6:40 am. Breakfast was served, and we were informed our descent had already begun. We landed in Dubai less than thirty minutes later. Greg, the cabin crew manager, came over to me, crouched and murmured in a low tone for my ears only.

“You will be the first passenger to leave the aircraft, Margaret. Linda here will take you to the transport which will transfer you to your hotel. Don’t worry, the other passengers will remain behind until you see your sister transferred and you have departed to the gate.” Greg gave me a tight smile but a nerve on his jaw ticked and the strain in his voice gave way to a hint of anxiety because he felt awkward.

There was an overnight stop before we continued on to New York. It was less than welcome, and I didn’t relish the thought of another night away from home, but I was surprised at how quickly the legal issues were tied up for me to have enabled me to travel back with Shona in the first place. If I’d stayed until the following day I could have taken a direct flight, but I didn’t want to stay in Australia a minute longer than I had to.

The aircraft door opened with a dull thud and Greg reached up, pulled my overnight bag out of the compartment above my head, then gestured for me to leave by nodding his head toward the door. I rose slowly to my feet and followed him to where a middle-aged, smartly dressed woman in a navy-blue suit waited to meet me.

I figured her attire was a uniform, but it wasn’t the same as all the other airline staff on the plane. Greg gave me a gentle half smile, his eyes softening as I stepped out onto the mobile gangway, and I thought it was a smile of relief that his duties toward me were over.

Standing on the runway, I watched the somber men load Shona’s casket again, before being taken to my hotel for the night. As stared out of the window I felt numb and thought how Shona would have loved the adventure of seeing another country.

By the age of eighteen she'd become an unruly teenager with her head in the clouds and a major fantasy crush on Noah and his band called Fr8Load. With his brooding good looks and an eye for the ladies, I could see the attraction, but Shona was obsessed… besotted with the guy.

Occasionally she had even disappeared from home and traipsed around the neighboring states, following his band with hope of meeting him. Her thoughts were delusional where he was concerned, and she had really convinced herself if he ever met her he’d fall in love with her.

Shona was intellectually smart, but dumb as fuck when it came to accepting responsibility for anything. Whenever it suited her she became an airhead, and any time I had tried to have a serious conversation with her she behaved like a petulant teenager and left me with no option but to become parental in my approach.

At eight years my junior, she was the late baby my parents never expected to have after a difficult birth with me, and as young as I’d been back then I had shared some of the responsibility for taking care of her. Our dad was already drowning his sorrows by the time she was walking and died an alcoholic after his company went bust when Shona was almost sixteen. As for our mom, she barely lasted a year after Dad died, due to a sudden deterioration of her chronic ill health. I guess she gave up.

Neither of my parents showed much interest in my younger sister, mainly because she had always displayed an awkward defiance toward them, but I reckoned Shona deserved better and continually tried to keep her on the right side of the tracks. I figured one day her maturity would catch up with her imagination and she’d settle down.

Despite her rebellion, I’d done an okay job with Shona and I thought I was finally getting through to her. Her high school grades were good and she finally settled on going to college to Major in Marketing and Advertising when she dropped the bombshell that she was pregnant. She adamantly refused to say who the father was, but was very determined to keep the baby.

Personally, I was devastated because I knew from the moment she told me, my life plan was instantly arrested. I could never have been selfish and washed my hands of her. It wasn’t in my genes, so when she had the baby three weeks after her nineteenth birthday I knew my life had a new focus because Shona would never have coped alone.

Instead of using the savings I’d been squirreling away for a deposit on a better place, they were used to buy baby equipment and maternity clothing. Shona’s wild behavior had caught up with her but I never expected to bear the brunt of it.

Woody, my then on-off boyfriend of four years, wasn’t at all sympathetic to the situation that developed, and I guess he lost patience and grew tired of my constant excuses for not being able to commit to him. Then as soon as he found out Shona and the baby would be staying at home he called time on us for good.

Shortly afterward, he moved away from our town and never looked back. For a very long time, I was heartbroken, and it took me years to recover even after I’d decided if the focus was on himself instead of a destitute girl with a small baby then I was better off without him.

* * *

During the short journey to the hotel I began to recall all the dark experiences that had come my way in quick succession and wondered if they had been preparation for something like what I had found myself facing. If it was… it hadn’t worked. Nothing could have prepared me for when Shona died. I was still brooding over that thought when the car pulled up at the sidewalk beside the hotel entrance.

My emotionally spent body was exhausted by the time I arrived at the hotel room door. It was all I could do to step into the shower quickly before I crawled onto the bed, still wet and with only a towel wrapped around me. I remember nothing after that until I woke in the darkness, feeling nauseous. I hadn’t eaten much in the previous few days. With little to no appetite I had to force myself to eat and that day was no different.

Digging deep, I found the energy and made my way down to the lobby, opting to order a warm chicken sandwich and have a few cups of coffee there instead of dinner. After eating I felt slightly better.

Realizing it was almost 8:00 am on the eastern seaboard, I took my laptop out of my oversized purse and Skype called briefly with Molly and Mrs. Richie. It was good to see them, and Molly was delighted to hear from me.

Once I reassured her I’d be home the next day, I closed the call out and I looked up in time to see an elevator door open and Noah step out directly in front of me. The mere sight of the man made me upset, so I stuffed my belongings into my purse and headed for the elevators. It had been difficult enough when I saw him on the plane. I couldn’t do anything about that, but I knew I’d be damned if I shared the same air on a voluntary basis.