After Maggie took off out of the room, I went after her, but I wasn’t fast enough. She looked so distressed as she ran up the stairs and took sanctuary in our bedroom. Speaking from the other side of our locked bedroom door I tried to reason with her that I never knew any of what we read in the emails. I was still reeling from the news myself and had to push all of my own feelings aside because her happiness was more important than anything I was going through.

I tried hard to think about the night in question—the one in the picture—every few minutes during that time and came back with nothing. Then I thought in more general terms about what I was like back then and was ashamed of how I’d behaved. I was a player, and of the girls I could remember Shona’s face never appeared in any of the images in my mind’s eye.

Sleeping around was my way of winding down, a way of releasing all the adrenaline I’d built up by performing. I was impressionable young teen who'd behaved the way I did because of the excess and opportunities around me.

When Maggie spoke to my mom, I knew if anyone could talk Maggie around it was her. The second my mom came back and nodded toward upstairs, I felt the pent-up tension in my neck release and regroup. As I fled up the stairs, I knew it was the most important moment of my life because my future rode on however I handled Maggie’s distress.

I was relieved that she’d at least hear me out, but I was afraid that anything I said would add to her hurt as well. I’ll admit I had a very low moment on the way up the stairs and I felt as if my life was always destined to be on trial. It appeared to me that no matter how hard I tried to be myself, second chances never appeared to go my way.

Slowly, I opened our bedroom door and saw Maggie sitting on the edge of the bed, directly facing me. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach, churning with anxiety at the desolate sad figure she cut. Every muscle and fiber of my body screamed instantly for me to wrap my arms tightly around her and crush her tightly to my chest.

My natural instincts with Maggie were to protect her, and I wanted desperately to tell her everything was going to be okay, but as soon as she looked at me and I saw the pain in her eyes I wasn’t sure if it ever would be again.

“Do you realize how beyond embarrassing this is for someone like me?”

Despite how much I sympathized, I needed her to understand it affected the both of us. “Someone like you? And you think this news makes me less ashamed? That I’m immune to what’s happened and feel less than you do? This has happened to us, Maggie. Us. You and Me. Do you think I’m somehow unaffected by the fact I have a daughter? That I missed the first years of her life as well as Rudi’s? Do you think I’m happy that your sister never came to me in the years before she died? If she had I may possibly have done something to make life easier for all of you.

“Can’t you understand how much this hurts me? It’s beyond…” She threw her hands up, lost for words.

“Yes! I do understand. I’m desperately sorry I’ve hurt you, however unintentional it was, but there’s nothing I can do to change what Shona said or to make you feel okay about what we’ve learned. However, you know what? I’m going to say something that will probably make you hate me more, but it needs to be said all the same. I’m thankful that I don’t remember Shona. There—I’ve said it.”

Maggie looked horror-stricken.

“You know why? Because I love you with all my heart and we’d never have happened if she’d caught up with me… or if she told me about Molly. Who knows? Molly may have come to live with me after she passed if she had, and where would that have left you?” I asked in desperation.

Maggie’s eyes widened, and she straightened her upper body in reaction as the reality of my words hit home. Her face was pinched with worry then it suddenly relaxed when I had nothing else to say. Dropping my hands from the doorframe I wandered over toward her.

“May I sit?” I asked tentatively. She nodded, and I deliberately moved close to her, my leg touching hers in my need for contact. Reaching out I slid my hand under hers and I closed my fingers around it.

In a gentle quiet voice, I said, “Sometimes people make fucked-up decisions and take actions none of us understand... for reasons only they themselves know. You said Shona was infatuated by me? If that was the case, then there are several things that are bugging me about her revelation. Why did she never try to contact me before she came to work for me? If she was so infatuated why didn’t she use Molly to get to me?”

“Maybe she did and was discarded as another crank, or more likely because I’d have disowned her for going public with this.”

“There you go,” I replied agreeing with her. It was highly possible Maggie would have gone crazy if Shona had said her baby was mine.

“Are you’re saying I’m to blame? I’m the reason she never told you about Molly?”

“Yes, but not to blame you. It's possible Shona never contacted me until Molly was older out of respect for you. Then… as Molly’s natural inquisitiveness took over, Shona felt guilty for not giving Molly a father figure. It appears as if when the opportunity presented itself in the form of being part of the crew, she may have seen that as a chance to reach out to me about Molly.”

“What a cluster fuck. Do you know how mortified I feel, Noah? How the fuck are we supposed to get past this? How do I go out there and hold my head high, while I’ve not only screwed my dead sister’s Baby Daddy, but had another child with you myself?”

I turned toward her and clasped her chin between my thumb and forefinger and coaxed her head toward me. Eyeing the worried look on Maggie’s face, I took a deep breath and sighed before I tried to reach her again.

“You hold your head up high because you’ve done nothing wrong. We’ve done nothing wrong. Fuck the press, Maggie. What is more important—the kids and me, or your reputation to people who don’t matter? This what it comes down to. I’ve had more shit and lies written about me than truths, and it’s made me cynical. I used to care… and now? I couldn’t give a flying fuck what they think because I know the truth in this… I had no fucking idea.”

“This is my sister we’re talking about. She mattered… Molly matters.”

“Maggie, for years my management made me appear like some kind of freak because I was in a band and stupidly I tried to live up to that—look where it got me.” I squeezed her hand tighter to emphasize my point.

“What the press did as a result was inexcusable and it changed me as a person. They took my son; they almost took my future—my life. As for the public, they’ll forget about this in time and we’ll still be together. Of all the times to show the media we are together this is it, baby. If we’re completely solid as a couple, we’ll be immune to whatever they want to throw at us. Only then will they leave us the fuck alone.”

Despite her anger, I saw her react to my touch. Her eyes softened, and I knew instantly she wanted to believe what I’d told her.

“Neither one of us knew about Molly when we got together. Shona could have told you at any time… she chose not to. I wish I could change our situation, but I can’t, Maggie. We’ve just got to look forward to the one positive in it all—Molly. I’ve been in that kid’s life for a while now, and I’ve loved her like she was my own… with every bone in my body. Don’t you see how amazing this? To find out she’s already mine means everything to me.”

“Ours,” she stated defensively.

“See… now you’re getting what’s important. I know this feels weird. Hell, no one could make this up, it’s mind blowing for me and in my line of work I’ve seen and heard all kinds of shit. Trust me, baby. We’re going to be fine. Best way forward is for us to front it out. When the media see they’re having no effect they’ll move on and leave us in peace.”

When I saw her lips quirk weakly in the beginnings of a small smile, I tipped her chin up and looked directly into her eyes. She gave me a soul searching, piercing look that gripped my heart.

“Maggie Dashwood, you are the love of my life. My queen. I refuse to let anyone destroy what we have. Please, baby… together we can get past this. We have to because I couldn’t bear to live without you.” Tentatively I bowed my head and placed my forehead against hers.

Her beautiful eyes were cloudy with worry as she pleaded with the look she gave me. Her fingers moved lightly over the shadow of growth on my chin as she drew comfort from touching me. Her hair was tousled wildly from anxiously raking her hands through it as a visible sign that demonstrated how deeply the news about Molly affected her on top of everything else.

The horrible reality of pain and hurt in her eyes made me feel tearful, and a lump grew in my throat because I felt sad and angry at what the news reporters and Shona had done to us. Ultimately, what I had done to us.

“I can only do this if I can say what’s on my mind,” she said, firmly.

I shrugged and nodded slowly as I waited quietly as she gathered her thoughts.

“Look, I accept you didn’t think you’d met my sister. I knew Shona better than anyone and I’m as dumbfounded as you are about how twisted her mind was where you were concerned. I hate it but understand how a lifestyle with no boundaries may have made you act the way you did with all those girls. I forgive Shona for the way she was and for keeping you in the dark about being Molly’s father. Hurt doesn’t even cut it for how I feel that she never told me. As for this Vivian Reed woman, who claims to be Shona’s close friend, I forgive her for being greedy and breaking Shona’s confidence as well.”

I frowned and squeezed my hand tightly again then looked seriously back at her. Our foreheads were pressed against each other and the touch of skin on skin between us gave me hope.

“When I agreed to be with you, I told you at the time I was scared. That was because I knew of your reputation and I’d already had a taste of what the media could do. Now I’ve felt their wrath. I always had a feeling something would poke the sleeping serpent and our bubble would burst… and here we are.” Guilt riddled my body, and I dropped my gaze to the floor.

“What I want to say now is I know you’re nothing like Noah Haxby, the rock star. The reputation that was built around you has done you more harm than good. I will always question whatever they write because the man I know you to be is so far removed from what they’ve written about you. I find it hard to believe you have the capability to be that person. I know you better than any of them.”

“Does this mean you forgive me?”

“Forgive you? There’s nothing to forgive. I believe you when you say your lifestyle was pretty hedonistic, and that you took what you could get at that young age. I’m not so old I don’t remember the teenage boys in high school, Noah. As for the rest, I’d much rather believe your version than the one that’s been spun in the press. I’m not going to say I’ll be a doormat about this or that this is going to be easy because it won’t, but your mom just tore me a new one on your behalf. She gave me some home truths to think about and like it or not she was right about a few things. Before Shona’s emails we were so good together and I know I can’t do anything about this, so I have to try to continue with the life we’ve been building.”

Relief flowed through my body and the tension ebbed from my muscles. The imaginary fist I felt squeezing my lungs suddenly released. I dropped her hand and cradled the sides of her head in my hands. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.” I replied and silently thanked God for another chance.

My eyes focused on her lips before I looked up further and into her eyes. Maggie brushed some stray hair from my eyes and slid her arms around my neck. Tears welled in her eyes then one slowly trickled down her face. I caught it with the back of my forefinger and ran the same finger across her beautiful mouth.

“Shh,” I said soothing her. “We’ll get past this, baby, life goes on,” I said.

Maggie bit her bottom lip, worrying it back and forth and all I wanted to do was make her happy.

“I see the way you look at me, baby. I can feel the love you have in your heart. You’re the first person who really got me. The only woman who believes in me apart from my mom,” I said with a small chuckle. “You’re an amazing person, Maggie. You knew I didn’t have custody of my own son, yet you brought Molly here to live in my home. Have you any idea what that meant to me?”

Placing her fingers over my lips she silenced me then pulled them away and kissed me softly on my mouth. She pulled back and stared intently then a small smile curved her lips.

My hand slid from hers to pinch her waist gently as I pulled her closer to me. Suddenly that wasn’t enough, and I twisted her from her seated position and lay her gently on her back. Crawling over her I hovered and paused when it occurred to me how gorgeous she looked lying on our bed. Even with tear-stained cheeks she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

We shared a silent moment—a period of calm I knew would shift us forward. I wanted to say to her that I hated Shona, but I couldn’t—she was the mother of my child.

“You know what?” I asked. Her eyes questioned me, and her mouth opened to speak, “No. Don’t say anything,” I said cutting her off. An internal struggle came over me because I wanted to kiss her, and I didn’t know if it would be acceptable when she was so worked up. Seconds later I couldn’t resist and closed the space between us feathering her lips with mine. She rewarded me with a small sigh and it was then I figured we’d be okay.

Surprisingly, Maggie took a leap of faith and drew her tongue along my closed lips, and with that the tender kiss instantly turned predatory. Every thought and feeling that had burned inside me for the previous hour poured into the passionate, hungry, frustrated, and in parts angry, kiss.

I kissed her with everything I had, and she kissed me back, more than matching my level of desire. Her soft warm palms grazed the length of my arms then her fingers tangled in my hair. She sent my pulse racing and my heart burned in my chest at the way she clung desperately to me. By the time I finally dragged myself away our lips were swollen and bruised from our desperate need to find the intensity of our connection. It said despite everything she had learned, she was still mine.