CHAPTER TEN
AMBER
Annabelle picked up. “Hey. Are you on your way?”
My legs felt wobbly as I walked down Grove Street in my heels. “Yes. Can you remind me what the hell I was thinking? Now that this day is actually here, I’m seriously considering backing out.”
“You can’t back out. You just paid a ton for a Brazilian wax. You need to show that shit to someone.”
“Okay, if it doesn’t work out, I’ll come over in a trench coat and flash you before I drink the night away.” I sighed. “I just need to remember to breathe.”
“Where are you now?”
“I’m just walking up to the entrance of The Peabody.”
“Make sure you call me the second it’s over, okay? Even before that if you need me.”
I blew out a shaky breath. “Okay. Thank you, Annabelle.”
“You got it, friend. Take care of yourself.”
With its dark wood décor and elaborate crown moldings, the historic Peabody Hotel was a place of rich architectural beauty. A beautiful Asian woman was playing the harp in a corner. G9’s choosing this place meant he had good taste.
My palms were sweaty as I entered the dark lounge, which was located diagonally across from the opulent front desk area. Red tablecloths were draped over the tables, and a massive chandelier shimmered from above.
At the very least, if he never showed, I could just have a drink and leave.
Remember, you don’t have to do anything you’re not totally comfortable with.
Looking around anxiously, I searched for a man in a black polo shirt.
My heart was pounding, and goosebumps peppered my skin. The room felt freezing cold.
Then, the feel of three fingers tapping on my shoulder caused me to jump before turning around.
That was the moment my heart nearly stopped. His familiar scent wafted in the air, as arousing as ever despite my nerves.
“Channing!”
Channing?
What was he doing here?
This was bad. I couldn’t let him find out about this. Gentleman Nine would be here any minute.
“You look beautiful, Amber.” He didn’t seem as surprised to see me as I was to see him.
Gentleman Nine and Channing could not meet!
On the verge of a panic attack, I stuttered, “Um…thank you. What…what are you doing here?”
Fiddling with his watch, Channing looked nervous—very unlike the cool and confident man I knew.
“That’s a great question.” He let out a single laugh as he gazed at the ceiling. “A great fucking question.”
“Are you meeting Emily?”
“No, no, I’m not.”
“What are you doing here, then?”
“Can we sit down somewhere, please?”
What was I supposed to say?
No, Channing, actually, I’m meeting a male prostitute for sex, so there’s no time to sit and chat.
“Um…sure.”
“I’m just gonna go get you a glass of wine,” he said before he swiftly made his way over to the bar.
I grabbed a seat. Stretching my neck, I kept looking around the room in search of black polo man. There was no sign of anyone who met that description. At this point, I was relieved he wasn’t here because I couldn’t imagine having to introduce him to Channing. That would have been totally awkward.
Channing returned to the table and handed me a large glass of white wine. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.”
I was still frantically searching the room when he interrupted me. “Amber, look at me.” His voice sounded even deeper than usual.
The look in his eyes told me something wasn’t right.
“What’s going on? Did something happen?” Paranoia started to set in that maybe he’d heard me talking to Annabelle. Oh, no! “Did you follow me here?”
“No. I came to meet you. I know why you’re here, and I have to explain.”
My heart felt like it dropped to my stomach.
He knows why I’m here?
I swallowed. “Excuse me?”
His face was beet red. I’d never seen Channing’s face turn that color in all the years I’d known him. I’d never seen him like this.
“I know you’re here to see Gentleman Nine.”
My stomach was in knots. Hearing that name come out of his mouth freaked me out.
How could this be?
“What…how did you know about that?”
“I need you to understand that I thought I was doing what was best for you.”
The room felt like it was swaying. “What was best for me? I’m so confused right now.”
“I know you are.”
He paused and just looked at me for what felt like a full minute.
“It’s me, Amber. I’m Gentleman Nine.”
What he said registered the wrong way at first. “You’re a prostitute?”
“Fuck, no. That didn’t come out right. Let me explain.”
My ears were pounding. “You’d better explain.”
Channing downed his drink until it was gone. It was some kind of golden brown-colored liquor.
He took a deep breath in and began to explain. “I came home from my Chicago trip while you were in the shower. I went to use your laptop that was sitting on the coffee table, so I could check Facebook. You left your message to him open, and I read it, even though that was clearly wrong of me. Anyway, I freaked out, Amber. I felt like you were making a mistake and that it was my duty to protect you. So, I sent another message pretending to be you and cancelled your original request.”
He what?
“What? You had no right to do that!”
“I know that now. Believe me, I know I crossed a line.”
It was finally totally sinking in. “You canceled the request. Then, wait...who was I talking to?”
“That was me.”
Oh, my God.
“You pretended to be him?”
“Yes. I created an account so you would think you got a response.”
“Why would you do that?”
“It was a stalling mechanism, but it opened up a huge can of worms that I never anticipated. I swear to God…I never meant to hurt you. Please believe that. I only wanted to keep you safe. I just got myself in way too deep, and it spiraled out of control.”
“You wanted to keep me safe by lying to me, putting me in a position where I was comfortable telling you certain things I never would have admitted to you otherwise?” The realization of exactly what this meant came in waves. I covered my mouth in shock. “Oh, my God—some of the things I said about you to...him…to you! I am so mortified. Channing…seriously?”
Channing looked pained. “I never expected you to say those things about me, to talk about your attraction to me. It really caught me off guard…but not in a bad way, Amber. Fuck…in a good way.”
“I can’t believe this,” I whispered under my breath. I took a long sip of my wine then slammed the glass down on the table a little too hard. Thankfully, it didn’t shatter.
“Please, hear me out.” Channing placed his hand on my forearm. Despite my anger, my body still reacted to his touch. “I regret how I handled it,” he said. “It was an erratic decision based on fear. I really thought I was protecting you and just couldn’t handle the thought of you giving yourself to someone who didn’t give two shits about you besides collecting your money. But I know now that I had no right to make that decision for you. Once I took that first step, though, I couldn’t go back. It was like a domino effect. Fuck, Amber, I’m so sorry.”
Taking a few deep breaths, I tried my best to put this in perspective. Channing wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt me. He just made a really poor judgment call. And he didn’t have to fess up at all. He chose to come clean.
“I suppose you could’ve just never admitted it. That would’ve been a lot easier. I respect the fact that you told me, even if I still don’t really understand how you could do this.”
“I never seriously considered not telling you. It crossed my mind, but in the end, I just couldn’t do it. My goal in emailing you like that was to buy more time in the hopes that maybe you’d change your mind and not want to go through with it.”
“Why did you need to come here tonight to tell me the truth? Why couldn’t you have done it at home? Why put me through this?”
“I felt like I needed to face you here, for some reason. I came to a realization last night when I was with Emily. And this time and place seemed appropriate to admit everything to you.”
“Why?”
He fell silent then said, “There’s more I need to say to you.”
“What more could there possibly be?”
He suddenly got up. “Let me get you another drink. You’re gonna need it.”
Still unable to believe this was happening, I watched Channing as he fumbled with his wallet over at the bar.
He approached holding another white wine for me and more of the same liquor in a shot glass for him.
My instinct was to thank him for the drink, but I stopped myself because technically, at the very least, he owed me alcohol for putting me in this situation.
“What else do you need to say to me?” I asked.
“I never expected you to say the things you did. You told me—him—that you wanted me. I haven’t really been able to get it out of my mind. That’s not something that I can just forget.”
“Yeah, well…try.”
He leaned in, suddenly seeming less unsure of himself and more direct. “I don’t want to forget it. What you may not realize is that I want you in the exact same way.”
To say I was surprised to hear him say that was an understatement. Especially given the reemergence of gorgeous Emily. I never expected to hear Channing say those words—that he wanted me.
“You want me? What about Emily?”
“I was with her last night. We were about to…you know…and I couldn’t. I was thinking about you—about this. So, that was my moment of clarity. I stopped it and left her apartment. I stayed up all night thinking.”
“About this? What is this exactly? What are you trying to say?”
“I know you don’t want anything serious. Neither do I. But we’re both adults who respect each other and are clearly attracted to each other. I only have a limited time left in Boston. Why not let me give you what you need while I’m here.”
I swear, this felt like a dream, like it wasn’t really happening. There wasn’t a hint of amusement in his expression. Channing was seriously propositioning me. As much as I wanted to dismiss it, to tell him he was out of his mind, another part of me became increasingly curious—aroused. But this wasn’t as simple as he was making it out to be.
“You’re suggesting I try to pretend that you’re just no one to me? How exactly could this work, Channing?”
“We would have to set ground rules. Keep our personal relationship separate from our sexual relationship.”
“And how do we do that when we live together?”
“We could meet here, say on Saturdays, and we wouldn’t discuss it the rest of the week. We wouldn’t have to discuss it at all. No one will know about this but us. And I promise never to tell Rory. I assume his ever finding out would be your biggest hesitation.”
I just kept shaking my head back and forth in an attempt to process everything. “What do you get out of this?”
“I get to be with the girl I’ve fantasized about since I was sixteen.”
Since he was sixteen?
“I never knew you felt that way.”
“I hid it very well. But I’ve always been attracted to you.”
My gut was telling me that I was crazy for considering this, but my body couldn’t be calmed. It was completely buzzing at the thought of being with him. Everything was suddenly magnified—his scent, the nearness of his perfect body. I wasn’t sure if I had the strength to say no, because there was no bigger turn on than being wanted.
My voice cracked. “I really don’t know if this is a good idea.”
“You don’t have to make a decision now. Take some time to think about it. No hard feelings if you decide against it. We’ll forget this night ever happened. I promise if you tell me no, we can pretend this conversation never took place. And as much as I hope you don’t, if you decide to contact the real Gentleman Nine, I promise not to judge you or interfere, either.”
As mad as I was at him, his showing up here was a reality check. A part of me was actually relieved to be sitting here with Channing now and not some male hooker. The longer we sat in this bar, the crazier it seemed that I had come here tonight to pay for sex. At least with Channing, I felt safe.
The idea of unbridled sex with him was extremely tempting. To know that he wanted me, too, made me feel sexier than I had in a long time.
But I still couldn’t believe this. And he certainly wasn’t going to get an answer tonight. This would change the entire dynamic of our relationship.
It would change my life.