I could tell a new story every day of my life now. Because I let myself decide what was best for me instead of other people, society, or systems, deciding for me. I could do that. I had a new one every single day, story after story. My winter was spent living my life for the first time ever. Between Ryle and Ty we not only made an amazing tiny home out of our bus, we also finished Ryle’s. Nana Mae moved into it just before Christmas.
We bought a cargo van and turned that into an even tinier house so we could take it across country. Every day was perfect even when it wasn’t. Like the time we broke down in the middle of nowhere. We could have paid for a room while it was in the garage. I knew we could, but Ryle and Scout wanted to find a barn. Something else they liked to do. Somewhere on Ballenger Road all the way to the west of Idaho we slept in an abandoned barn. We loved it so much we helped ourselves to a three night stay just to explore the area.
A bunch of us met up at an amusement park in California, including Tristan and Ty, in December, all working the game section and some of the rides. I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed for nine bucks an hour before, but it wasn’t even about the money, and it didn’t take me long to realize money goes along way when you don’t have a mortgage, car payments, and stuff. Hell, I didn’t even have a phone stuck to my hands anymore. We had a shared flip phone that we never used. The couple times Scout wasn’t with us. That’s about it. I’d always loved roller coasters, but Danny wouldn’t even get close. Lucky for me, Scout loved them, too. Ryle hated them. They made him sick, but that didn’t stop us. Running them were just as much fun. We met so many cool people.
We spent most of January in the mountains in our bus on accident. I did meet Ryle’s mom and I did love her. We were only supposed to stay for her birthday, and then head back out west, but a snowstorm decided otherwise. And I’m so glad it did. It was cold, getting wood was a struggle, and the wind would cut you in two, but I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. Being trapped in a bus with Ryle and Scout was the best two weeks of my life. Tristan invited Scout over a few times to give us time to release some of the crazy energy between us, and she even kept her overnight a couple times. Those were out of this world times. Thanks to my best friend, I learned how to let Ryle be on the receiving end of Tantra. One word. Wow.
Because of Tristan’s notebook, we incorporated helping others into our everyday life. Like Scout’s PJ’s and story books. She wanted every kid to have warm pajamas and a book to read for the winter. We got so many donations it wasn’t even funny, and Ryle and I never had to say a word. This kid could sell herself like nobody I had ever seen. The best part was delivering them though. In shady neighborhoods that I wouldn’t have been caught dead in before. This kid didn’t care. This kid was going to change the world and I was so happy to be a part of it.
In February we met up with a bunch of other homeschoolers for a dance. Scout had a ball with it. We cut up four dresses to make one. She helped me with mine, too, and while she wasn’t about to slow dance with her friend Patrick, I was more than happy to dance with my date. If that’s what you want to call it. I mostly just swayed in his arms and kissed his lips.
The week after that, we house sat for a family in New York City while they spent the week in our bus. What a tradeoff. I never knew there was so much history in New York, but my daughter did. She planned our day better than any vacation planner could have. I could write another whole book on the things that I saw and did, and I do. Every single day in my gratitude journal. Who knows maybe I’ll publish that someday, too.
Synchronicity became one of my favorite words, and thanks to my tribe, I learned to watch for it and even expect it. I was lucky. I was so freaking lucky it wasn’t even funny. We were building a community one bus at a time and we didn’t have to stay in one place to do it either. That was the best part. We were busy, yet time stood still.
I learned that it really was my story, and I could write it ever how I wanted. I learned that I was somebody, and I deserved to be loved the way Ryle loved me. I learned that the more hearts I threw the more I got back, and I learned to dodge the darts without even getting poked. I learned that it was only a thing when I let it be. I learned that not only did I have a big me inside me, I also had a little me in there too, and she had been dying to come out. I learned that it didn’t take as much money to live as I once thought, and the adventure was worth way more than the name-brand stuff. I learned that nature had a lot of answers. I learned that kids were amazing little creatures when you step back and let them just be. I learned that I learned something new every single day. I learned that everything that had happened to me helped make me who I am today, from the littlest bump to the biggest hurricane.
I learned that happiness really is a choice, and you just have to choose to do it, and don’t ever let someone else be responsible for that. I learned that chapters change and so do paths, and I learned to turn the page, and choose the path of least resistance, always the path of least resistance. I learned that telling the truth was the only way. I learned what humanity was and it felt amazing. I learned to stop looking for the dark clouds that weren’t really there. I learned that life is something we do for the lessons, like a game, just like a game. I learned to play mine with love, and that taught me how to win. I learned that keeping my mouth shut and my nose where it didn’t belong saved a lot of drama. I learned that everyone on this planet is on their own journey, and had no reason to judge. Absolutely none. Their lessons are theirs that’s that. I learned that it was okay to just be me. I learned that we’re not all the same and we’re not supposed to be. Most of all I learned to love with all my heart and soul.
Ryle loved me like no one ever had, not even my own parents. Everyone deserves that kind of love, including me. The kind of love where you spend every single day building each other up. The kind of love where even a five minute quickie behind a tree is more than just sex. The kind of love where cutting up veggies and doing the dishes together is a form of foreplay. The kind of love where kissing is your favorite thing to do. The kind of love where you can’t be near each other without touching. The kind of love where you connect so deeply it’s almost painful, in a good kinda crazy way, of course. That’s the kind of love Ryle and I shared. The kind that entwined our souls in and out of the Universe. The kind that even death couldn’t separate.
Sometimes it takes a life changing experience that shakes you to the core to see you even need to change. A destination location as Tristan calls them. The ones that you don’t see coming, the ones that knock the breath out of your lungs, and buckles your knees. Like losing a child. It took a very long time for me to even be able to say that, but it was true. Quinn was gone and he was never coming back, Jaycee was gone and she was never coming back, but I wouldn’t have traded my time with either of them for anything. They helped make me who I was, too, and thanks to one girl who didn’t give up, I could finally see that with my own eyes.
There’s nothing that can prepare you for a tragedy of that magnitude, but one thing I learned to let go of was the guilt. Quinn wasn’t mad at me and he didn’t want me to be mad at myself. Scout says he came to teach me how to love again after losing my friend so I could get ready to love her and her dad. I loved that and that was my new truth. I didn’t do a bad thing that I deserved to be punished for, and I’d learned to stop judging myself for it. Besides, I really did feel connected to Quinn when I was at my highest, when I was happy. That’s when I felt him the most.
Sure I still had days, seeing a little boy might trigger something in me, some of the expressions Scout made reminded me of him, but they were short lived. I let them surface, I felt the ache, and sometimes I needed Ryle to kiss away the pain. I moved on to whatever made me happy again. Ryle made me want to be a bigger person, he built me up, and I did the same for him, and together, we made a difference.
I met people I wouldn’t have normally given a second glance before, people that also made a difference, but I met some that were like me, too. That was the best part. To see someone transform from their high class, snobby ways into making their own difference was the best show you could see. It reminded me of where I’d come from and where I didn’t want to go back to.
This story could go on for the rest of my life, because every day I met someone new, I saw something I’d never seen, or I did something I had never done before, but I’ll end it with the weekend we headed back to bus. It was the end of April and Tristan and Ty had a new baby girl I couldn’t wait to meet.
Scout and I were in the back of the van doing homework. Sort of. We were reading a book in order to answer ten questions, but we got lost in it. Even Ryle stopped her when he didn’t hear what she’d said, making her read it again so he didn’t miss anything.
Just as we were about to turn on the road leading us back to Ryle’s hometown, he slowed, telling Scout to hold up. We both looked up ahead to a couple obviously screaming at each other in a heated fight off the side of the road. “Hold up, Scout. I think these people are broke down. You guys wait here for a second, and don’t finish the story without me,” he added with a straight finger through the rearview mirror.
I jumped in the front seat and Scout followed, sliding behind the wheel while we watched. The lady got back in her car and slammed the door hard enough for it to shake, but not for long. No sooner than Ryle had shaken the guys hand they were climbing in the back of the van.
“Come over here, Scout. You can buckle in with me the rest of the way.”
Ryle opened the side door and the couple loaded into the back, sitting sideways on our sofa bed. “Smitty is just up here on the right. If he can’t fix it no one can.”
“And he has a tow truck that has eyes and a tongue,” Scout added like it was a big part of the process.
“That’s just great,” the lady sarcastically replied while holding her expensive purse close to her chest.
Once Ryle jumped in, he introduced us to his new friends. “This is Dane and Myra. They’re from Minneapolis. This is my family, Scout and Atlantis.”
Scout and I nodded, barely getting a nod from the lady. The guy was friendly enough, though. He spoke for both of them. “Nice to meet you. You don’t know how much I appreciate this. I walked a half a mile both ways trying to get a signal, and not one car has come along. Except you. You folks from around here?”
Scout answered, giving more information than she needed to, but then again, she always did. “Yeah, we live in Cassville, sometimes we stay at our house, but most the time we just stay at the bus. That’s where we’re going now. Our friend Tristan had a baby. We’re going to go see her. She named her Trinity.”
“That’s nice,” the guy sincerely replied, but not her. His wife kept her arms crossed around her purse and glared at her husband.
“Yeah, that’s real nice,” she murmured.
“It’s fine, Myra. We’ll get the car towed, find a nice hotel, and go out to eat at a nice restaurant.”
The three of us exchanged a glance, all wondering which one was going to break it to them. Lucky for Scout and me, Ryle took the reins. “Yeah, there’s not really anything close to here. The nearest hotel is seventy miles north, or forty or so east. There is a nice restaurant in town though. Miss Miller makes the best apple pie in the state, and it’s getting time for dandelion gravy as well.”
“That’s just great, Dane. I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. I’m not staying here.”
“Don’t worry about a place to stay. We’ll help you out,” Scout offered. “If nobody is there, you can stay in Pixy. That’s what I named the bus Ty finished last. It’s the best because it has really tall windows. Not like school bus windows either. He did it like a secret garden theme. It’s so cute. Wait until you see it. We should have got a city bus, dad.”
“Maybe next time. She’s right. We can make room for you until Smitty gets your car fixed. You picked a good weekend to break down. We’re having a little shindig this weekend. First one since winter.”
“I’m not staying here, Dane. You fffuuu—. You fix this.”
Of course Dane, Ryle, or Smitty couldn’t fix this. Smitty wasn’t even around and wouldn’t be until the next day. His boy towed the car, but he didn’t really know anything about electrical components on Porsche’s, let alone the parts. That could take a few days.
Believe me, Dane and Myra’s story is one you don’t want to miss, but it’s not mine to tell. I’ll shut up and let them tell it, but I will just tell you this. They did go to the mountain with us, they did stay in the new bus Ty had been working on, and she was pissed. I wasn’t even sure they’d be together once they’d left the mountain. That’s how angry the wife was.
“Tristan. She probably doesn’t even like muffins. Oh my, God. Why do you always have to stick your nose where it doesn’t belong?” I complained, carrying the warm plate and trailing along. I was all for helping people, I even loved it, but sometimes you could tell when someone wanted to be left alone, and Tristan didn’t freaking care.
“Like you?”
That shut me up. I wouldn’t even have been there had she not offered a muffin and hot coffee. I groaned from behind her, but ate my words with dignity. “I don’t think I was as pissed as this chick, T. Seriously. I bet if we handed her a gun, she’d shoot the bastard right between the eyes, and before you say it, I think bastard might be his real name. She hasn’t called him anything but that since I first saw her. I don’t think we should go in there.”
Tristan spun on her heels and I bumped right into her. “What if everybody stopped giving up on everybody? What if we all fought hard for someone? Someone we don’t even know? Someone who is too lost to even see she needs friends? What do you think could possibly come out of that? Best friends, maybe? Hope, healing, happiness? What, Atlantis? What are you afraid of?”
“I get it, but she’s not like me. She’s got money. Not money like I had either. I’m talking maybe even millions. Did you see that rock on her hand?”
“So if you’re a millionaire you don’t deserve a friend, and maybe a little friendly guidance?”
“No, I’m saying she’s too good for you. If she wanted help she’d go pay thousands of dollars to get it. And you got a little leak there.”
Tristan’s stern looked dropped from me to her breasts. “Gah, I gotta hurry. Trinity is going to be ready to eat. And I’m doing it for free. Give me your hoodie.”
I wiggled out of my hoodie, and dramatically handed it over. “You’re the worst best friend in the entire world. Even worse than Jaycee was.”
Tristan dropped an arm over my shoulder and I slid mine around her waist. “But you love me.”
“I do.”
I did love her and I was forever grateful that she didn’t give up on me. Life without her in it wouldn’t be complete, and little Trinity was the sweetest little girl ever. Of course Scout had a new wish, but not me. I was more than happy holding Tristan’s babies. I liked my family just the way it was, and I couldn’t imagine it being any better than it already was. Not only was I in love with my guy and my little girl, I was also in love with my life.
Home is where you’re loved. It’s where you’re story begins, not where it ends. This is mine, the beginning, not the end.
Keep an eye out for Dane and Myra’s story. I can’t wait to see how this one plays out. I’m pretty sure their twenty to life is up. Twenty-two-years of marriage was enough for these two, and in my opinion, Tristan was wasting her time. This couple was a Truly Madly Intense.
The End.
Continue reading for an important message from the author.