Boiling continues as we slowly slide down the backside of the season. The nights are not freezing but neither are the days heating up. In town, crocuses must be blooming, but up on the hill the snow persists, and the buds aren’t popping yet. The brook is speaking up though—and the birds. Always a good sign that spring is near.
—Colton Abbott’s sugaring journal, April 10
Driving across Northern Vermont the next afternoon, Colton was tied in knots so tight his stomach ached. He hated that he was taking Lucy to catch a flight so she could go home to her real life. He hated that he had to go back to his mountain without her, knowing he’d see her everywhere he looked there.
They’d had an incredible afternoon and evening, during which they’d eaten like kings thanks to the generosity of his “friends.” Lucy had blown him away by coming to bed in a sexy, silky nightgown that he would think about every night that he spent alone until he could see her again.
And the last time they’d had sex this morning . . . They’d truly made love. At least he had. He was almost certain he was in love with her. If the agony he felt at the thought of letting her go was any indication, he was deeply in love and getting in deeper all the time.
She’d been quiet since they left the mountain and set out for the airport in Burlington nearly an hour ago now. With only one more hour to go until he had to say goodbye to her, he was feeling more desperate by the second, needing to make sure she left feeling confident in him and their relationship.
“So I’ll be down there Friday for the trade show. Hunter said I can get a hotel room.”
“You can stay with me if you want.”
“I’d love to stay with you, but I thought the hotel might be kind of fun.”
She smiled over at him. “Yes, it probably would be fun. Let’s do that.”
“I want to meet your dad and Emma and Simone while I’m there. And your friends, too.”
“Sure. We’ll do all that.”
“You sound really sad, Luce. I hate that.”
“I’m sad I have to go home. I had a really fun time this weekend.”
“I did, too. Except for the awful injury I sustained.”
That made her laugh, which he’d hoped it would.
“Only you could end up with enough food to feed an army because of a rumor.”
“They don’t know it’s a rumor.”
“True. Just don’t go proving it to anyone.”
“I told you I wouldn’t, and I won’t.”
“I know.”
Long before he was ready, they arrived at the Burlington airport. They’d already agreed he’d drop her at departures, since she’d be going directly to security. Colton parked at the curb and got out to retrieve her things from the backseat.
She was already standing on the curb when he came around carrying her weekend and computer bags.
“You never used this,” he said as he looped the computer bag over her shoulder.
“Turns out I had better stuff to do this weekend than work, and I’ll pay for that royally this week.”
“Sorry to screw you up at work.”
“You didn’t. It was well worth it.”
He put his arms around her and leaned his forehead on hers. “This is hard, Luce. I don’t want you to go.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t want to go.”
“It does make me feel better.” He held on tight, breathing in the rich, sexy scent of her one last time.
“We’ve really screwed this up, huh?” she asked after several quiet minutes spent holding each other.
“How do you figure?”
“I never signed on for a boyfriend in Vermont.”
“You used the B word.”
“So I did.”
“You may not have signed on for it, but I’m really, really glad to be your boyfriend in Vermont.”
She drew back to look up at him and slayed him with the tears he saw in her eyes.
“Aw, Luce, don’t cry. Please don’t.”
“I’m not. I won’t.”
He hugged her again and then kissed her, lingering for as long as he could before he had no choice but to let her go. “I’ll be down Friday night for a whole week, and then we have Hannah’s wedding. Lots to look forward to.”
She bit her lip as if she was trying hard not to cry and nodded.
“I’ll call you tonight.”
“You don’t have to. I know it’s a hassle for you to get to a phone.”
He kissed her forehead and then her lips again. “I’ll call you tonight. Now go ahead before I give in to the temptation to toss you over my shoulder and drag you back to my mountain.”
“You say that like it’s a threat.”
“I say that like I wish I could. See you Friday.”
“See you then. Make sure you change the dressing on your wound yourself.”
He matched her cheeky grin with one of his own. “Wouldn’t dream of asking for help from anyone but you.” Leaning back against his truck, he watched the gentle sway of her ass and the movement of her hair in the breeze until she stepped through the big sliding doors and disappeared into the airport. Her walk was stiffer than usual, but she’d refused to admit that she was sore from the hike up the mountain. He stood there for a minute before he pushed off the truck and walked around to the driver’s side.
Buckled into the truck, he sat there for a long moment, unsettled by how truly awful he felt. Christ, what the hell was wrong with him? He’d see her in three days and they had an entire week to spend together then. There was no reason to be feeling like the world had just ended. Except that was exactly how it felt, like the sun had suddenly decided to stop shining or something equally ridiculous.
He pulled away from the curb, not really certain of his destination. He’d made plans to do some shopping while he was in Burlington, but rather than head for downtown, he found himself at the bungalow his youngest brother, Max, had rented for the summer with his girlfriend, Chloe. Max had been running himself ragged commuting between Burlington and Butler, where he worked on the mountain with Colton several days a week.
Parking in front of the house, Colton was surprised to see Max sitting on the top step, head in hands. Uh-oh, he thought as he got out and walked through the gate to the tiny yard. “Hey, bro.”
Max looked up at him. “Hey. What’re you doing over here?”
“I had to bring a friend to the airport in Burlington.”
“A friend? Would this be the so-called mystery woman everyone is talking about?”
“Move over.”
Max slid to the right to make room for Colton, who stretched his legs out in front of him and propped himself on one elbow.
“She’s not such a mystery anymore. Our cover was soundly blown this weekend, first by Will and Cameron showing up at the lake house and then by Mom and Dad being at my house when I tried to bring her there to get away from the crowd at the lake.”
Max laughed, but it wasn’t his usual belly laugh. “Totally busted, huh?”
“Yep. Hard to keep a secret for long in this crowd.”
“Well, you kept it for weeks, so props on that. Do I get to know who she is?”
“I’m surprised you haven’t already heard.”
“I’ve been a little tied up this weekend.”
“I’ve been seeing Cameron’s friend Lucy.”
“Oh wow! And Cameron caught you with her at the lake? That must’ve been interesting.”
“You could say that. It’s kind of a relief that people know now. I wasn’t digging all the secrecy, but it was what she wanted so I went along with it.”
“Why did she want it?”
“Mostly because of Will and Cam and giving them a chance to get settled. Or something like that.”
“So you like this girl, huh?”
“Yeah, I like her. I hated taking her to the airport just now. We had a really great weekend.”
“I’m glad someone did.”
“How’s Chloe feeling? I heard she was really sick.”
“She was. She’s better now.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“What isn’t wrong?” Max ran his fingers through hair that was much lighter and longer than Colton’s. “This isn’t working out at all.”
“You and Chloe?”
“Yeah. It’s a fucking mess. All we do is fight. Nothing I do is good enough. I say the wrong things. I do the wrong things. I’m getting to the point where I don’t even like her anymore, which makes me feel like shit to even say since she’s pregnant with my kid.”
“Just because she’s pregnant with your kid doesn’t mean you have to be in a relationship that makes you miserable.”
Max blew out a deep breath and shook his head. “I don’t know what to do.”
“I have an idea that might give you a break from it all. I’m going to New York next week, and it would help me out if you could hold down the fort on the mountain while I’m gone. It would give you an excuse to get out of here for a while and give you both some breathing room.”
“Does it make me an asshole if I say that’s the best offer I’ve had in a long time?”
“Nah, it doesn’t make you an asshole and trust me, I’d tell you if you were.”
Max barked out a laugh that was much more in keeping with the way he usually laughed. “I have no doubt you would.”
“Look, just because she’s your baby’s mama doesn’t mean she’s it forever, you know? As long as you take good care of her and the baby, you’re holding up your end of the deal. Nowhere is it written that you and she have to make a go of it romantically to be good parents to the kid.”
“I know, and I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately. The thing is . . . Before the baby and everything, I thought she might be my forever. It was that good between us. Now . . .” He shook his head. “It’s a goddamned mess.”
“I don’t know much about pregnant women, but from what I’ve heard it does a number on their hormones and emotions and everything else. You probably ought to let it ride until after the baby comes before you make any big decisions. I’d hate to see you have regrets later.”
“That’s true.” Max glanced over at him. “When did you get so wise anyway?”
“I’ve always been wise. You’ve just never noticed before.”
“Oh my God, I think I just threw up a little.”
“Ha ha.”
“So if I wanted to take on more hours on the mountain, you’d be cool with that?”
“I’d love it, but when Lucy’s there, you have to stay at Mom’s.”
“You’d really make me stay at Mom’s?”
“If it meant being alone with Lucy, yes, I would. And besides, Mom will cook for you.”
“That’s true.”
“Let me ask you this . . . If a guy happened to be in the market for a cell phone, where would he get one around here?” Unlike most of his siblings, Max had had a phone for years.
Max stared at him as if Colton had just told him he’d seen Bigfoot in Lake Champlain. “Are you freaking kidding me? You want a cell phone? Holy shit! You must be in love!”
Colton resisted the sudden urge to squirm as Max tossed the L word around. “Shut the fuck up and just tell me where to get one.”
“Better yet, I’ll take you. This I’ve got to see.”
“I don’t think I want you there.”
“Too bad. I’m going. Let me just tell Chloe I’m leaving.” Max went inside, leaving Colton alone to ponder whether he was in love with Lucy. He still wasn’t sure, but if the shitty way he’d felt watching her walk away from him was any indication, he was well on his way.
“Let’s go,” Max said brusquely as he came back outside.
“You just had another fight?” Colton asked.
“Everything is a fight. Every. Fucking. Thing.”
Colton followed Max down the sidewalk to the truck. “Dude, that’s no way to live.”
“You’re telling me.”
“Go over to the mountain while I’m away. Take some time off from the situation. It might do you both some good.”
“I’m going to. Even though I feel like I should be here, clearly she doesn’t want me here, so I’m probably doing more harm than good.”
“She can call you if she needs you.”
“Yeah.” Max turned to him. “Thanks for listening and everything.”
“No problem. Sorry it’s such a shitty situation.”
“So am I.”
They rode in silence into downtown Burlington, where Max directed Colton to a store that sold cell phones.
“How are you planning to charge this phone on your mountain anyway?”
“Aw shit.”
Max howled with laughter. “You’re such a dumbass.”
“Screw you.”
“I can show you where to get a generator, too.”
“Fuck,” Colton said with a groan. This whole thing was getting way too complicated for his liking.
“Welcome to the twenty-first century, bro. Allow me to be your tour guide.”
“I hate you right now.”
“Whatever. You’ll love me when you’re talking to your lady later.”
“If you say so.”
“I say so.”
By three thirty that afternoon, Lucy was home at her cozy Soho apartment, and all she wanted to do was sleep. The muscles in her legs were so sore from the hike up the mountain that she wanted to cry from the pain that she’d tried to keep hidden from Colton. She didn’t want him to think she was a total out-of-shape mess, even if she was. Curled up on the sofa, she tried not to think about the piles of work she’d let slide during the fantastic weekend in Vermont. She tried not to think about Colton and the many ways he’d turned her world upside down during said weekend.
Try as she might not to think about him, however, he filled her every thought.
Her cell phone rang, and she thought about ignoring it, but she reached for it on the coffee table and saw it was Cameron, so she took the call.
“Hey,” she said.
“How’s it going? Are you back in the city?”
“Just now, yeah. What about you? Still at the lake?”
“No, we got home last night. We took yesterday off, but we had to work today.”
“Good time?”
“Great time, but I didn’t call to talk about me. I want to hear how the rest of your visit went. What did you think of Colton’s mountain?”
“I loved it.”
“You did? Really? I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”
“Why not?”
“Come on, Luce. It’s me you’re talking to. I know how you are about your hot showers and your modern conveniences.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t do without them for a day or two here and there. It was fun to rough it a little, and it’s not like we did without much. There was hot water and hot coffee and a hot man. What else do I need?”
“He is hot. I’ll give you that.”
“Hands and eyes off. You’ve got your own hot Abbott brother.”
“Yes, I do, and I have no interest in anyone but him. However, I have eyes that work perfectly well, and Colton Abbott is hot.”
“So I’ve noticed. Apparently, every woman in Butler has noticed, too.”
“We heard the weirdest thing when we got back to town yesterday.”
“Let me guess. Something about an accident with the axe?”
“Yes!”
“That might’ve been my doing.”
“Oh, this I’ve got to hear!”
By the time Lucy finished relaying the story of the rumor she’d started, Cameron was laughing so hard she wasn’t making any noise. “Then the food started arriving from his fan club. I’ll bet one of them is there now tending to his festering ‘wound.’ ” The thought of another woman tending to him made Lucy want to scratch the eyes out of the imaginary woman’s head, which was certainly a first. Jealousy was an entirely new experience.
“Are you really worried about that? How did you guys leave things?”
“No, I’m not really worried. We’re tossing around the BF/GF words.”
“Oh my God! That’s awesome!”
“I’m glad you’re happy about it.”
“Aren’t you?”
“I am . . .”
“Why do I hear a but in there?”
“When I’m with him, everything is great. Everything seems possible. The minute we’re apart, I start second-guessing the whole thing and wondering how in the world this could ever really work. Especially after yesterday.”
“What happened yesterday?”
“He showed me his mountain and told me how he makes the syrup. I could really see how much he loves what he does. I mean really, really loves it.”
“I saw that, too, the first time I was there and he showed me the sugarhouse and everything.”
“That’s his life, Cameron. His calling. He wouldn’t be him without it. And I can’t leave my dad and Emma and Simone. Not to mention the business . . . I just can’t.”
“I know,” Cam said with a sigh. “I told Will that this weekend. I’m sorry it’s all so messy.”
“It is what it is.”
“Do you love him, Luce?”
“Oh God, don’t ask me that after I just told you how hopeless it is.”
“That’s the most important question. Why wouldn’t I ask it?”
“I don’t know if I love him. How am I supposed to know that?”
“Want to hear the questions I asked myself when I was trying to figure out how I felt about Will?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Is he all I think about? Can I not wait to spend more time with him? And is it impossible to keep my hands to myself when he’s around?”
To her eternal mortification, Lucy broke down into gut-wrenching sobs.
“Aw, shit, Luce. I wish I was there so I could hug you.”
“I wish you were, too.”
“It might seem too easy for me to say it’s all going to be fine, but it will be. If it’s meant to be, you guys will figure it out just like we did.”
“I can’t see that happening for us.” Lucy wiped the dampness from her face. “This is so not me. Crying over a guy. Ugh.”
Cameron, that bitch, laughed. “Welcome to the club, my friend.”
“What club? What’re you talking about?”
“It’s love, and it’s wonderful, maddening, frustrating, amazing . . .”
“I think you’ve been spending too much time with Will and his magic wand to be objective.”
“Perhaps,” Cameron said with a chuckle. “His wand is quite magical—and never more so than this weekend. There must be something in the water at that lake house.”
New tears fell from Lucy’s eyes when memories of Colton’s magic wand chose that moment to remind her of the bliss she’d known in his arms. “Stop.”
“I’ve been where you are, Luce,” Cameron said softly. “Everything seems hopeless except for what you feel for him. I get it. The best advice I can give you is to let it ride for a while. Nothing has to be decided today or tomorrow or next week or even next month.”
“That’s true. I just wish I didn’t feel so shitty when I’m not with him, which is most of the time.”
“Now you know how I felt when I left Will to come back to the city.”
“Yeah, and I feel bad because I didn’t get it then. But I do now, so I’m sorry if I wasn’t sensitive enough to how miserable you were.”
“You were fine, and you might not want to hear it, but you sound an awful lot like a woman in love.”
“I’m not in love.”
“No?”
“No. Definitely not.” The phone line beeped with an incoming call. “Hang on. I’m getting a beep. Oh hey, it’s Emma. I need to take this. Call you this week?”
“Please do, and hang in there, okay?”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”