It had been a very long time since Gavin had felt as good as he did lying in Ella’s arms after making love to her for the first time. The spinning had stopped, the sickening despair was gone and what remained was a tiny kernel of hope that wanted to bloom into something strong and lasting.
She was like an oasis, offering him things he hadn’t known he needed. Her sweet softness was a welcome respite from the hell his life had become.
The stroke of her fingers through his hair soothed and calmed the restlessness he carried with him always.
“Gav?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I ask you something that’s none of my business?”
“Sure.”
“Why aren’t you going to Dylan’s wedding?”
The question took him by surprise, and he had no idea how to reply in a way that she would understand. “Work is so busy. It’s hard for me to get away.”
“Surely you have someone you could leave in charge for a few days.”
“I suppose, but I’d be stressed out worrying about it the whole time I was gone, so why bother going?”
“Because your good friend is getting married, and he wants you there?”
Gavin already felt guilty enough about declining the invitation to Dylan’s wedding. How could he explain that Dylan was really Caleb’s friend, and the only reason he’d been invited was because he was Caleb’s brother? “I’d love to be there.” He said what she needed to hear, because the truth was too painful to discuss, especially when he was feeling so damned good for a change. “Dylan understands about the business and how hard it is for me to get away.”
“Hmm.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing, I’m just listening.”
“Why do I feel like there’s so much more you want to say?”
She didn’t say anything for a long time. And then . . . “It’s just, I wonder . . .”
“What do you wonder?”
“What’s the point of being self-employed if you can’t do what you want once in a while?”
“You’re self-employed. Do you get to do whatever you want?”
“For the most part. We try to respect the fact that we have nice jobs and are fortunate to work for ourselves. We don’t take advantage, but no one is hanging over our shoulders making sure we do our jobs. Hunter wants us there on time in the morning because it sets the right example for the sales force, and we agree with that. As much as we love the store and working for the family business, we have lives outside of work that we love just as much. It’s called balance. You need to get some if you feel like you can’t take a week off once in a while.”
She made good points, and they were things he’d certainly thought of himself. However, work brought a rhythm to his days that he badly needed to stay on track. The thought of a week without work made him twitchy and nervous. If he hadn’t had his business to focus on over the last seven years, he’d probably be institutionalized by now.
As much as he loved the way he felt when he was around her, especially now that they’d made love, she was the one mirror he couldn’t avoid. She saw him so clearly. His bullshit didn’t stand a chance against those insightful brown eyes that studied him so knowingly.
Grasping the base of the condom, he withdrew from her carefully.
“Bathroom’s in there,” she said, pointing to a closed door.
“Thanks.” He went into the bathroom, disposed of the condom and washed up, avoiding the mirror over the sink. Her insightfulness unsettled him and made him aware of how tuned into him she really was. It was becoming painfully obvious to him that if they were going to do this, really give it an honest chance, he wasn’t going to be able to get away with the old tricks. His artful dodger routine wasn’t going to fly with Ella.
He wet a washcloth and brought it back to the bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he let his gaze take a perusing journey from her long legs to her flat abdomen to her small but perky breasts to her gorgeous face and the eyes that watched him so closely.
Gavin held up the washcloth. “May I?”
In a move so sexy, so innocent and so utterly captivating, she inched her feet apart, exposing herself to him. He forced himself to stay focused on the task at hand, even though he was already hard again for her. She was so damned gorgeous and sexy and the way she cared about him was a huge turn-on, even if it forced him to confront his deepest demons.
When he was done, he tossed the washcloth aside and climbed back into bed with her, wanting her close to him.
Apparently she wanted the same thing. Wrapped up in her, with her arms and legs around him, he felt himself falling into the soft, safe place she’d given him to land. “Ella . . .”
“Hmm . . .”
“You, this . . . It feels so good.”
“Yes, it does. I want you to feel good, Gavin.” She kissed him, and without breaking the kiss, he brought her with him when he moved to his back, loving the feel of her on top of him. The squeeze of her flat belly against his hard cock made him breathless with the need for more of her.
She broke the kiss and shifted ever so slightly on top of him, kissing his face, jaw, neck and throat, biting down on a tendon in his neck that made him want to howl from the jolt of pure pleasure that ripped through him. Then her tongue found his nipple, and he nearly levitated right out of bed when she brought her teeth into the act.
God, he was never going to survive her.
She continued a path downward, giving each muscle in his abdomen individual attention that had him clinging to his sanity. By the time she wrapped her hand around his cock he was prepared to beg her for relief. No begging was needed, however, when she dragged her tongue around the head, cleaning up the moisture that had formed during her slow, sexy seduction.
As she licked and sucked and stroked him exactly the right way, it occurred to Gavin that she’d obviously done this before—a thought that made him see red from the rage of imagining her touching another man the way she touched him. It was irrational, he knew, to think he was first, but God, the thought of her with any other guy was unbearable.
Then she took him deep into her throat, clearing his mind of every thought other than the most important one. This was going to be over—fast—if she kept that up. He grasped handfuls of her shiny dark hair. “El, honey . . . Ella.”
She dragged her lips up his shaft, adding just enough suction and tongue action to nearly finish him off. His cock popped free, and she looked up at him with big brown eyes and lips swollen from taking him into her mouth. He had never, in all his life, seen anything sexier than the way she looked right in that moment.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Absolutely nothing. Come here.” He held out his arms to her, and she crawled into his embrace.
“Why did you stop me?”
“I don’t want to come in your mouth.”
“Why not? I wouldn’t have minded.”
Gavin blew out a sharp, deep breath. No, he definitely did not deserve this woman, but for right now, for as long as she’d have him, she was his and he planned to fully enjoy every minute with her. “I’d much rather be inside you when that happens.”
“Condom?”
“Back pocket of my jeans.”
She kissed him again. “Let me up.”
He let her go, reluctant to let her leave him even for the moment it would take to retrieve the condom. But he fully enjoyed watching her move around in the nude. He loved that she seemed comfortable in her body and didn’t try to hide herself from him.
She turned to find him watching her, and a delightful flush colored her pale white skin. “What’re you looking at?”
“You.”
Holding up the other three condoms he’d brought, Ella came back to bed and returned to her roost on top of him. Using her teeth to tear open the wrapper, she held him in her thrall as she rolled the condom down over his hard cock. She came this close to finishing him off with the slow, seductive way she let the condom unfurl.
He gritted his teeth and tried to summon the control he needed for her. It had been a long time since he’d been with anyone, and he’d never been with any woman who mattered as much as this one did. He wanted to be what she needed in all ways—in the bedroom and outside it. Coming before she was ready was not what either of them needed.
Gavin reached for her.
She dodged him. “You had your turn. Now it’s mine.”
God, did she have any idea how incredibly sexy she looked sitting on top of him with her long hair nearly covering her breasts, her nipples hard and tight and almost begging him to sit up and suck on them, her legs spread, revealing the dark hair between them.
Unable to be entirely passive, he ran his hands over the soft, silky skin of her legs and up her waist to cup her breasts, temporarily distracting her from whatever she had planned and buying himself a little time to get himself under control.
“Mmm,” she said. “I love when you touch me.”
“That’s good, because I love to touch you. You’re so soft. Your skin is like silk.”
She began to move on top of him, bringing the heat between her legs into direct contact with his cock.
“Ella . . .” He grasped her hips and tried to take over, but she wouldn’t let him.
“Stop.”
Groaning, he dropped his hands to his sides.
“You don’t always have to be in control of everything.”
Funny statement when you consider he’d felt so out of control lately. But this, with her, was the best kind of out of control. He was more than happy to cede to her, especially since he was allowed to watch.
She continued to move on top of him, driving them both crazy if the hitches in her breathing were any indication.
He was on the verge of begging her, flat-out pleading, when she took him in hand and came down on him, enveloping him in her tight, wet heat.
Ella bit her lip, her face a study in concentration as she moved slowly to take him into her body.
Gavin hated the wince of pain he witnessed in her expression before pain became pleasure and she began to move her hips.
She was so fucking hot that there was no way he could keep his hands to himself, so he raised them to her breasts, rolling and teasing her nipples until she gasped from the pleasure and tightened around him. That nearly finished him off.
He sat up, wrapped an arm around her and drew one of those tight nipples into his mouth.
Gripping handfuls of his hair, she let out a sharp cry of pleasure that was followed by a flood of heat below. He sent his free hand down to where they were joined, teasing and coaxing until her orgasm crashed down over both of them, taking him right along with her.
Her nipple popped free of his mouth, wet and red from the attention he had given it. He soothed it with soft strokes of his tongue that had her shuddering in his arms.
“You took over my show,” she said, her voice hoarse and sexy.
“I helped it along. Am I forgiven?”
“I’ll let it slide this time, but don’t make a habit out of it.”
“I could very easily make a habit out of this. Out of you.”
Her arms encircled his neck, and she held on tight. “Me, too.”
They used all four condoms and never did sleep. Ella was a wreck the next day. All the coffee in the world couldn’t undo a sleepless night or the aches in her muscles from the workout she’d put them through. As tender as her muscles were, the sting of soreness between her legs had her full attention.
At eight o’clock, an hour after the time Gavin usually started work, they dragged themselves out of bed and into the shower, which became about much more than getting clean when he started kissing her under the hot water. He declined breakfast, telling her he’d grab something later as he pulled on his leather jacket.
Dazed and confused and zonked from not sleeping, Ella followed him to the door, wearing only the silk robe she’d greeted him in the night before.
“Don’t let a tree fall on you or anything today,” she said, suppressing another yawn. She was far, far too old to be up all night having sex. And she was far, far too old to have only just now experienced all-night sex.
“I won’t,” he said with a chuckle. “Don’t worry about me.” He hooked an arm around her waist and looked down at her, seeming to catalog her every feature. “What a great night.”
“Best night ever.”
“Mmm,” he said, kissing her. “For me, too.”
Because she couldn’t resist touching him, she buried her fingers in his hair and kissed him like she hadn’t spent all night kissing him, like his tongue hadn’t spent nearly as much time in her mouth as his own. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.
Groaning, he pulled back from her. “Witch, let me go to work before I get fired.”
“You own the company. Call in sick.”
“I can’t,” he said, groaning again. “And neither can you with your big event on Friday.”
Ella would never admit to having forgotten all about one of the biggest events of the year for her at work. She was the lead on the staff retreat, and it needed her full attention this week.
“My parents invited us for dinner tonight,” he said.
“Us?”
“I asked if I could bring a friend, but I didn’t tell them who. My mom said I was torturing her. Do you want to come? Mom is making ribs. They’re so good.”
Ella smiled up at him, enjoying the lightness she saw in his eyes this morning. “I’d love to.”
He kissed her again, lingering long enough that she wondered if he was considering calling in sick. “See you later?”
“Yes, you will.”
“I’ll miss you today.”
Hearing those words from this man . . . “I’ll miss you, too.”
After one last tongue-twisting kiss, he tore himself free with another tortured groan, grabbed his helmet and backpack and was out the door before Ella knew what hit her.
For long moments after he left, after she heard the motorcycle start up and drive away, she stood by the door, stunned and exhausted and exhilarated and happy. God, she was so damned happy. More than once during the difficult months since that kiss on the beach, she’d contemplated the possibility that the reality of Gavin might not live up to the man she’d built him up to be.
But he’d more than lived up to her expectations. In fact, he’d surpassed them in every possible way. She could still feel his hands on her, the scratch of his whiskers, the stroke of his tongue, the almost painful stretch required to accept him into her body. She shivered, reliving the incredible pleasure.
And that they got to do it all again tonight . . . She’d never survive until then. How was she supposed to get through eight long hours in the office when she’d so much rather be with him?
Somehow she managed to dry her hair, get herself dressed and fed and filled with as much coffee as she could handle. Her eyes were gritty and her body buzzed from the need for sleep as well as the caffeine. Licking her lips, she discovered they, too, were sore. She’d put them through a hell of a workout the night before. Thinking about the workout caused her nipples to tighten—painfully. They’d also been through a hell of an ordeal.
Ella giggled to herself as she pulled into the parking lot at the store and turned off the engine. She was close enough to walk to work, and she did most days, but today was not most days. Today was . . . Well, today was already the best day she’d ever had, and she was saving all her strength and energy for more of the same tonight.