Sleeping next to Ella but not being able to touch her and love her the way he wanted to was absolute torture for Gavin. She was so close yet so far away. He couldn’t say he blamed her for wanting to proceed with caution. Until he’d proven that he intended to be what she needed, she’d be crazy to go all in again, and she was anything but crazy.
But lying beside her, knowing what they were capable of together and not being able to have it? Torture. And he had only himself to blame for their current predicament.
Turning on his side, he could make out the faint outline of her profile in the darkness that was offset only by the nightlight in the bathroom. She was so pretty all the time, but never more so than she’d been standing slightly removed from the rest of the wedding guests as she watched Dylan and Sophia exchange vows.
He’d planned his arrival to coincide with the vows so he could sneak in and take her by surprise at a time when she couldn’t object. He wouldn’t soon forget the way she’d stiffened when she realized who had put his arm around her. Right in that instant he’d known he faced a huge battle to win her back.
The battle for her love and trust was one he intended to win. He considered it a small victory that she’d allowed him to stay in her room, to sleep in her bed, to spend this week together.
“Are you awake?” she whispered.
“Yeah. I thought you were asleep.”
“Can’t sleep.”
“How come?”
“Gee, I wonder.”
Her saucy retort drew a low chuckle from him. “Come here.”
“I’m here.”
“Closer.”
She turned to face him.
“Not close enough.” He held out his arm to her, and waited, his heart beating faster all of a sudden, to see if she’d take him up on the invitation.
After a long pause, she slid across the mattress, closing the gap between them.
Gavin gathered her in close to him, wrapping his arms around her. “That’s so much better.” He ran his fingers through her long hair, combing the silky strands. “After I saw you on Friday,” he said, speaking softly to her, “at your place . . . I already knew then I’d made a huge mistake the night before. When I saw you get out of the car, and the look on your face when you saw me there . . .”
“I couldn’t talk to you then. I couldn’t make everyone else wait when they had a plane to catch.”
“I know that now, but at the time . . . I wanted to die because I’d put that wary, uncertain expression on your gorgeous face. I never want you to look at me that way again, Ella. I never want to give you cause to look at me that way again.”
She surprised him when she brought her hand to cup his face, her touch electrifying as always.
He turned his face into her hand, kissing and nuzzling her palm and feeling the tremble that went through her body. So responsive . . . So in tune with him. So perfect for him in every possible way.
“Will you . . .”
“What, baby? What do you want?”
“Will you kiss me? Just that and nothing more?”
“I’d love to kiss you. It’s my favorite thing to do.”
He felt her smile as his lips came down on hers, finding her in the dark.
Her arms curled around his neck to hold him in place as her mouth opened to his tongue.
Gavin poured all his love and devotion and regret and need into that kiss, hoping it conveyed everything he felt for her.
She kissed him back with enthusiasm that matched his own, and he had to remind himself that she’d asked for a kiss. Only a kiss. Hands that wanted to wander were restrained, held in check flat against her back, burning through the silk nightgown that clung to her alluring curves. Those curves were off limits to him tonight, so he threw himself into the kiss.
He explored every corner of her warm sweetness, sucking on her tongue until she moaned into his mouth. Her body arched into his, seeking relief he wasn’t allowed to provide. He respected her boundaries, even as he pulsated with need and desire.
Ella’s fingers were buried in his hair, her nails scraping against his scalp.
God, he couldn’t get close enough.
By the time she broke the kiss, he was fully on top of her, his arms wrapped tightly around her while her legs intertwined with his.
“That was some kiss,” he said, sliding his lips over hers. He couldn’t get enough of her. He would never get enough.
“Mmm, good kiss.”
“Do you think you can sleep now?”
Her reply came in the form of a deep yawn.
“I’ll take that as my cue to leave you alone.” Though he continued to ache with unspent desire, he settled next to her, his arm looped around her waist, thankful to have her there beside him.
“Gavin?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m really glad you came here, even if you didn’t want to.”
“I want to be wherever you are.”
She turned over and snuggled up to him, her head on his chest, her hand flat against his abdomen, a mere inch above the part of him that throbbed for her.
This was going to be a long, long night.
Ella woke to Gavin, fully dressed and holding a tray that included a bright orange flower in a vase. “What’s this?” she asked, pushing hair back from her face.
“Breakfast in bed for my love.”
“Oh, wow. Thanks.”
“No problem.” He waited until she sat up to place the tray on her lap. “I got us a beach cabana, too, with one of those shade things. Can’t have that pretty skin of yours burning.”
“Thank you.” She took a sip of coffee and a careful look at him. He seemed tired, restless, unsettled. “What’s wrong?”
His eyebrows lifted. “Wrong? Absolutely nothing is wrong. For once.”
“Why do you seem tired?”
“Because I didn’t sleep that great. Jet lag or something.”
“We’re in the same time zone as home.”
He shrugged it off. “I don’t know. I just couldn’t sleep.”
The phone rang, and Gavin handed the extension to Ella. “Hello?”
“Hi, Ella, it’s Jack. Hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No, we’re up.”
“I’m looking for Gavin, and I heard he might be with you.”
“Sure, hang on.” She held out the phone to him. “For you. It’s Jack.”
Gavin took the phone from her. “Hey, what’s up?” After listening to whatever Jack had to say, Gavin replied, “Nah, I can’t today. I’m hanging with Ella. But you guys have fun.” He paused again, listened and glanced at her. “I gotta be honest—I can’t do that stuff anymore. I’m an actual adult these days and have too many people counting on me to take crazy chances.” He listened again, chuckled. “Say what you will, my friend, but I’m not changing my mind.” Another pause. “Sure, I’d love to meet for drinks when you get back. I’ll see you then.”
“What’re they up to?” Ella asked when he’d returned the portable phone to the cradle.
“Some sort of shark diving thing without the cage.”
“That sounds fun.”
“You think so?”
“Not really,” she said with a laugh.
“I’d much rather spend the day with you than with a bunch of sharks.”
“I’m strangely complimented by that.”
He leaned over to kiss her forehead. “As well you should be.”
“Hey, Gav?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m proud of you for telling him the truth. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”
“It was easier than it would’ve been before I talked to you about it yesterday. And for what it’s worth, apparently your brothers and brother-in-law are pussies these days, too.”
Ella laughed. “It’ll happen to the rest of them someday.”
“I can only hope it happens soon. I’ll leave you to eat in peace.”
“Don’t go. Help me out here. There’s enough to feed an army.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” She lifted a forkful of omelet and held it out to him. Holding her gaze, he took the bite.
After breakfast, they changed into swimsuits and headed for the beach, where he continued tending to her every need, beginning with applying her sunscreen and then by producing a Bloody Mary that left her feeling pleasantly buzzed and peaceful. Her siblings joined them in nearby cabanas, everyone enjoying the sun and sand and clear blue water. They were friendly to Gavin if not overly talkative. She could live with that. It was the most relaxing day Ella could remember having in a long time.
As relaxed as she was, however, Gavin seemed wound up, agitated, unable to sit still. “What’s wrong?” she asked as they returned to their room late that afternoon to shower for dinner with his parents.
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You’re tense. You have been all day.”
“Did you have a nice day?”
“I had a great day.”
“That’s all that matters. I want you happy.”
“That’s not all that matters.”
“It is for now.”
He used the keycard to open the door, gesturing for her to go in ahead of him. The moment the door clicked shut behind them, she turned to him, resting her hand on his chest. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing is wrong, Ella. Nothing a cold shower won’t take care of.”
“Oh.” She let her gaze travel down the front of him, stopping just below his waist where the evidence of his arousal left no room for interpretation as to what had him so wound up.
“It’s your fault,” he said in a teasing tone. “You and that itty-bitty bikini you pranced around in all day.”
“My bikini is neither itty nor bitty,” she said. “And I don’t prance.”
“It’s both itty and bitty, and I’m only human, babe. And P.S., you most certainly do prance.”
She raised her hands to his shoulders and went up on tiptoes to kiss him.
He reacted instantly, cupping her bottom and lifting her into his arms as he devoured her with his lips, teeth and tongue. With his erection pressed against her, Ella wanted to forget all about the many reasons she’d planned to keep him at arm’s length.
Then she was falling, landing on the bed with him on top of her as the kiss took a turn toward the wild and frantic. The only thing standing between what they both wanted were her bikini bottoms and his bathing suit. He kept his hands on her bottom, squeezing as his tongue thrust into her mouth.
Ella arched into him, needing the relief only he could provide.
He broke the kiss, panting and staring down at her, seeming as dazed as she felt. “We have to stop or we won’t be able to.”
“Don’t stop yet.”
“Ella . . .”
“Please don’t stop yet.”
A muscle in his cheek pulsed from the tension that gripped them both. “Untie your top.”
With trembling hands, Ella did as he asked, baring her breasts to him.
He groaned as he dipped his head to run his tongue over the hard point of her nipple, drawing it into the heat of his mouth and running his tongue back and forth. The whole time he continued to press against her sex, letting her know what he really wanted with every thrust of his hard cock against her tingling clit.
God, she was actually going to come from the combination of what he was doing to her nipples while he pressed against her.
“Gavin . . . Don’t stop.”
“I’ll never stop loving you, Ella. Never.” He sucked hard on her nipple and thrust against her until she came with a sharp cry of pleasure. “Yes, baby, yes. Let me hear you.”
Mindful of their neighbors and who they were, she didn’t fully give in to the urge to scream, but she wanted to.
“Mmm,” he said against her nipple as he continued to stroke his tongue over her sensitive skin. “You’re so hot when you come. I could watch that all day and never get tired of seeing you let go.”
She ran a hand down the front of him, cupping his hardness. “What about you?”
“That was more than enough for me.”
“It wasn’t enough for me. Turn over.”
“No, El, really . . . We don’t have to.”
“Turn over.”
Sighing, he flopped onto his back. “If you touch me, I’ll explode.”
“That’s kind of the idea, isn’t it?” She kissed her way down the front of him, paying homage to his rippling abs before freeing him from the board shorts he’d worn to the beach.
“Ella . . . Christ . . .” As she stroked him, he raised his hips, and true to his word, he came within seconds of her first touch. “Told ya.”
“Feel better?”
“A little.” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I won’t feel completely better until I can do that inside you again, until you stop waiting for me to fuck up again, until I’m sure that you’re sure you can trust me to be what you need. Then I’ll feel better.”
She rested her head on his shoulder. “Today was a good day.”
“Tomorrow will be, too. So will the day after and the day after that. You’re stuck with me.”