Inside her room, Ella curled up on her bed, resting on her side so she could look out at the beautiful scenery. She couldn’t help but wonder what Gavin was doing, if he wished he’d handled things differently last night, what he’d wanted to say to her this morning. There was a phone next to her bed, and she could probably call him without too much bother and get answers to all her burning questions.
She entertained that thought for a fleeting second before dismissing it. She was all done chasing him. No one could ever accuse her of not going after what she wanted or not trying to make it work. The thing was, she couldn’t make it work by herself. He had to want it, too, and despite his assurances, he apparently didn’t want it as badly as she did.
With those unsettled thoughts swirling in her mind, she drifted off to sleep, dreaming about him and the magic they’d found during their two short weeks together. When she awoke hours later, the sky had grown dark, and her heart was heavy with the knowledge that she would remember every precious detail of those weeks for as long as she lived.
A soft knock on the door between her room and Hannah’s got her up from the bed. Her sister was gorgeous in a floral dress that hugged her considerable curves. She looked lush and happy and well rested. “You look beautiful, Hannah.”
With her hand on her rounded belly, she said, “I had to call in the tentmaker for this trip.”
“The tentmaker does good work.”
“Are you coming to the rehearsal dinner?”
Ella leaned against the doorframe, exhausted despite her nap. “Would it be awful if I skipped it? I just don’t have it in me tonight.”
“It wouldn’t be awful, but it might be better to be with us than here alone.”
“I’d rather be alone tonight, Han.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive. I don’t have a game face today. Hopefully, it’ll be back in time for the wedding.”
“What about dinner?”
“I’ll order some room service.”
“But you will eat. Promise?”
“Yes, Mom, I’ll eat.”
“Sorry to hover, but I’m worried about you. We all are.”
“Please don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I just need a little time to myself to process it all.”
“I understand. Is it okay to check on you when we get back?”
“I wish you would.”
Hannah hugged her. “Hang in there.”
“I’m hanging.”
“I’m going to kill him when I get home.”
“Don’t do that. Amelia would never get over it—and neither would I.”
“Those Guthrie boys always were a handful. Some things never change. I wonder all the time if Caleb ever would’ve settled down into regular life after the army.”
“Life after the army? Like twenty years from now?”
Hannah bit her lip and shook her head. “He was going to get out after that last deployment. We made the decision before he left. He’d had enough of the deployments, and we were thinking about having kids.” She rested her hand on her belly. “He didn’t want them to grow up the way he did, moving all the time and always missing their dad.”
“God, Hannah . . .”
She smiled softly and shrugged. “Life’s a bitch.”
“It certainly can be. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I miss him every day, but I’m really happy with Nolan. And I know you’re going to find your happily ever after, too. I know it.”
“I wish I were so sure. I don’t think it’s going to be with Gavin.”
“Maybe not, but there’s someone out there who’s going to appreciate the amazing, thoughtful, loving woman you are. You just can’t give up on love because of this, El. That would be the worst thing you could do.”
Nolan came up behind his wife and rested his hands on her shoulders. “Is she hovering, Ella?”
“Just a little, but it’s okay.”
“How’re you doing?” he asked.
“I’ve had better days, but I’ll be all right. I’ll see you guys later. Have fun at the dinner.”
Hannah hugged her. “Love you,” she whispered.
“Love you, too.”
Nolan surprised Ella when he kissed her forehead and hugged her. “Sorry you’re going through this. There’re a whole lot of guys who love you who want to put a hurt on him right now.”
Touched to realize Nolan was one of them, she blinked back tears as she drew back from him. “Thanks, but that’s not going to fix what’s wrong here.”
“Maybe not, but it sure would make us happy.”
Ella laughed and brushed away tears. “Go on and have fun. I’ll see you later.”
After they left, Ella picked up the room service menu and looked it over. Though she’d promised Hannah she would eat, the thought of food turned her stomach, so she put down the menu. Maybe later. She went out to the deck that overlooked the beach and the vast Caribbean. As she leaned against the rail, the warm, soft air made her hair flutter in the light breeze. The sun dipped toward the horizon in a blaze of color that promised a spectacular sunset.
In the courtyard below, a group of children chased a soccer ball around, all of them dressed for dinner with their hair combed into submission. Their laughter and excitement caused the ache inside her to intensify into a sharp pain of regret.
Twenty-four hours after he turned down the chance to come with her, she was still trying to figure out how it had all gone so very wrong. Maybe she would never understand.
The phone in her room rang, setting her heart to racing. Was it him? What if it was? Did she want to talk to him? Not really. Not yet. Only the thought of her parents trying to reach them had her dashing inside to grab the extension by the bed. “Hello?”
“Is it true?” Charley asked without preamble. “Did he refuse to go?”
Ella sat on the edge of the bed. “Yes,” she said, her shoulders sagging. “It’s true.”
“I’m going to find him and beat the living shit out of him.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I really might.”
“As much as I appreciate the sentiment, it won’t fix anything. In fact, it’ll make everything worse because then I’ll have to bail you out of jail.”
“It’s worth going to jail. Are you okay?”
“I’ve been better.”
“I’m glad you went without him.”
“I’m not. I should’ve stayed home. The last place I need to be is smack in the middle of someone else’s happily-ever-after. Not to mention our happily coupled siblings surrounding me. After the wedding tomorrow, I’m coming home. I’d rather be at work than here.”
“Said no sane person ever.”
“I’m not feeling so sane tonight.”
“What happened? What did he say?”
“It’s not even worth repeating. It’s over. That’s the bottom line.”
“I don’t get it.”
“That makes two of us. Tell me some good news. How’s the baby?”
“He’s so cute. I saw him again before we left Burlington last night. They were going home from the hospital this afternoon.”
“How’s Chloe?”
“Sore and cranky. She didn’t have much to say to us when we were there.”
“And how’s Max?”
“In love with his son and dealing with her the best he can. I don’t envy him this situation. And I don’t envy your situation.”
“I have no situation. Not anymore.”
“Ella, you can’t give up—”
“Yes, I really can, Charley. At some point, enough becomes enough. I’d be a masochist to let this continue after what’s already happened.”
Charley’s deep sigh said it all.
“How was the store today?”
“Crazy busy. Just how we like it.”
“Good. Anything you couldn’t handle?”
“Nope. I got it covered. Don’t rush home on my account.”
“Thanks for covering for me. I’ll be in on Monday.”
“Call me if you need me. You know where I am.”
“Yes, I do, and thanks for checking on me. Don’t beat up Gavin.”
“I’ll try to resist the urge.”
“Bye, Charley.” Ella put down the phone and stretched out on the bed, which seemed to be the only place she wanted to be. Her limbs felt weighted, and her head was aching almost as badly as her heart. She didn’t really want to be home, where every corner of her life would remind her of him. But she didn’t want to be here either. How sad was it that she didn’t want to be anywhere because no matter where she went, he came with her. He was so deeply embedded in her heart that it would be a long time, if ever, before she left him behind.
Ella surprised herself by sleeping amazingly well. She woke with a new determination to get through the day so she could head home in the morning. After the wedding, she was meeting with the concierge, who’d agreed to help change her flight.
She had breakfast with her siblings and Gavin’s parents, during which they talked about everything other than the elephant sitting in the middle of the table. Ella was thankful that they’d tuned into the fact that she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. What was there to talk about? They’d had a thing. It was over now. End of story.
Except . . .
No, Ella, end of story.
While the others headed off to take a tour in a glass-bottom boat, Ella took her e-reader to the pool, determined to salvage at least one day of this disaster to work on her tan. She stayed until four and even had an umbrella drink of rum punch that warmed her up on the inside.
With the wedding at six, she headed back to her room to shower and get ready. On the way, she ran into Cameron and Will, who were returning from the beach, holding hands as always. They were so damned cute, and seeing their happy, smiling faces reminded her once again of what she’d almost had with Gavin.
“Hey, guys.” She forced a smile for their benefit. “How was the beach?”
“Heavenly,” Cameron said. “Will had to drag me away so we’ll have time to get ready.”
“How are you?” Will asked, his insightful gaze taking a perusing look at her.
“I’m fine. I enjoyed the pool.”
“Ella—”
“I’m really fine.” She patted her brother’s chest. “I’ll see you at the wedding, okay?”
“Yeah. See you then.”
As she climbed the stairs to her room, Ella realized it was going to be even worse when she got home and had to answer questions about what’d become of her and Gavin. Tears flooded her eyes when she thought about Mrs. Abernathy coming to the door when they were making love against it.
It had been the funniest, sexiest, most embarrassing, unforgettable moment of her life. How was she supposed to live without him now that she’d tasted paradise in his arms?
That question weighed heavily on her as she showered, dried and straightened her hair and dressed in the yellow dress she’d brought for the wedding. When she’d packed the dress, she’d done so with Gavin in mind, hoping he’d like how it looked on her. Hell, she’d done everything with him in mind for so long now that it would be nearly impossible to break the habit.
But break it she would. He hadn’t given her much choice in the matter.
She walked to the beachfront wedding with her siblings and their partners, all of them in a festive mood. Ella absolutely refused to be a drag, so she participated in their good-natured banter and tried to pretend like she wasn’t shattered on the inside.
When they arrived at the beach, the other Sultans, who had come from all over for Dylan’s wedding, greeted them with hugs. Thankfully, Dylan hadn’t told anyone that Gavin was supposed to be with her, so she didn’t have to answer any questions. They were a boisterous group in the best of circumstances, but never more so than when they got together for a happy occasion.
Caleb’s death had been hard on all of them, but they’d made an effort over the years to keep in touch, to keep up the traditions he’d started and to honor his memory in any way they possibly could. As always, though, the man who’d been at the center of their shenanigans was blatantly missing.
Ella could only imagine how difficult it must be for Hannah to continue to be a part of the group that was such a big aspect of Caleb’s life. But with Nolan by her side, she glowed with happiness and excitement for Dylan and Sophia. Somehow she had found the strength to move on. If only Gavin could do the same.
You’re not thinking about him. Not now.
Dylan and Jack, his best man, joined them, greeting the group with hugs and slaps on the back. Smiling from ear to ear, Dylan was tanned and wearing a pink dress shirt and khaki pants. Not every guy could pull off the pink shirt, but it suited him.
Ella stood back to watch as Hannah pinned a pink rose to his shirt and then patted his chest. He looked down at her, a thousand emotions seeming to pass between the two of them in the matter of an instant.
Hannah smiled up at him and he put his arms around her and held her tight until Nolan tapped him on the shoulder to end the emotionally charged encounter with a laugh.
Watching Hannah share a special moment with one of her late husband’s best friends left a huge lump in Ella’s throat.
They gathered in a half circle around the arbor that had been erected on the beach. It was surrounded by a stunning array of tropical flowers in bright oranges, pinks, yellows and reds. As the sun began to dip toward the horizon, a local man began to play the ukulele to the tune of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”
Preceded by three bridesmaids dressed in periwinkle gowns, Sophia’s dad escorted her onto the beach and into the arms of her future husband. The joy on the faces of Dylan and Sophia was like a knife in Ella’s broken heart. It was all she could do to remain standing, to watch them exchange vows and not run away like she wanted to.
And then an arm slipped around her waist from behind, and the scent of Gucci Black stole the breath from her lungs. Oh God . . . Her body recognized his as he drew her in tight against him. He never said a word as they stood together and watched Dylan and Sophia exchange rings.
Since she was standing behind her siblings and Gavin’s parents, no one noticed he was there. But Ella noticed. Every nerve ending in her body was on full alert, and her heart beat so fast she had to remind herself to breathe. With his big hand flat against her belly, a thousand thoughts went through her mind in the time it took for Dylan and Sophia to be declared husband and wife. What was he doing here? What did it mean? Why had he come? What would she say to him? What did he have to say? How would it change things?
Despite her iron-clad resolve to be done with him, his appearance here filled her with a tiny kernel of hope that couldn’t be easily snuffed out.
The applause of the wedding guests roused her from her frantic thoughts.
Gavin released her to join in the applause.
Ella turned to him. “What’re you doing here?”
“You really have to ask?”