It’s my day off, and I’m on my way to hang out with my brother. He’s back from an eleven-month deployment overseas—the exact location unspecified, as always—and I can’t wait to see him. A few years back, he bought a dilapidated house in the middle of nowhere, an hour and a half outside LA. He said he couldn’t get used again to the city, that it triggered him too much. He loves the peace and quiet out here, and as I leave the hustle and bustle—and the traffic—behind me, I can’t really blame him.

He’s mowing his lawn as I pull up, immediately shutting off the mower as he spots me in the driveway. He’s thin, thinner than I’ve ever seen him, and his eyes are sunken and dark. What the hell happened to him? Being an Army ranger, he usually can’t tell me much anyway about his deployments, but this looks bad.

“Lucky,” he says, his face breaking open in a broad smile. His arms come around me, and we hug for a good twenty seconds.

“I’m so happy to see you, Ranger,” I say, my voice muffled against his shoulder. “Damn, I missed you, bro.”

He slaps my back one more time, but with less force than I had expected. His body feels frail in my arms, a far cry from his usual form. I don’t comment on it. He’ll tell me when he’s ready.

A few minutes later, we’re seated on his porch in the shade, a cold beer in our hands. It’s quiet here, the only sound the buzzing insects that can’t even get to us because his porch has a mosquito net all around it. His garden needs a lot of work, but the butterflies don’t mind the wildflowers that have popped up everywhere.

“Didn’t you pay someone to mow your lawn?” I ask.

“Yeah, and he did, until I got back.”

The implicit statement is clear. “How long have you been back?” I ask.

He sighs. “A month.”

A month back and he still looks like this? Holy hell.

“I needed some time alone,” he says.

“No apology needed. Ever.”

“Thank you.” He takes a swig of his beer. “How have you been?”

“Good. Busy with work. Lots of new clients.”

“All work and no play?” he teases.

“I may have played a little as well,” I say, smiling at the thought of Mason. He’s so cute with that nerdy look. Then Heart pops into my head, and my smile falters.

“What’s up with the frown, bro?”

“It’s silly,” I say, waving him off. My problems are irrelevant and inconsequential to what he’s dealing with, I’m sure.

“Lucky…I could use the distraction. Talk to me about silly things, please.”

My eyes find his, and it’s not hard to spot the lingering nightmares. I nod. “I’m dating this super cute nerd named Mason,” I say.

“Oh, a nerd. Completely your type,” Ranger says.

“I know, right? He’s cute as fuck, adorably clumsy, smart, and I wanna wrap him in my arms and…well, you can imagine the rest, I’m sure.”

My brother grins. “I can think of a few things, yes. So, what’s the problem? Is he not into you?”

“I think he is. We had a couple of dates, and they went well… I really like him. Though he’s also sort of dating this other guy.”

“He’s a player? That doesn’t sound like your type at all.”

“I don’t think he is. I think he got hurt in a previous relationship, and this guy is more of a friend who’s helping him get over that. Like, build up his confidence again… I suspect his sexual confidence mostly.”

“Okay,” Ranger says slowly. “Then I’m still not seeing the problem.”

I let out another sigh that seems to originate in my toes. “The problem is that there’s another guy. A sexy as fuck guy, covered in tattoos, who works as a porn star…and who’s a client.”

Ranger plops down his beer so hard, I check to make sure he didn’t shatter the glass. “Let me get this straight… You’re dating two guys? And one of them is a porn star?”

He laughs, and despite his amusement over my issues, it’s good to hear my brother’s full laughter fill the porch.

“What the hell have you done with my straight-laced brother?” he grins.

I hold up a finger. “I’ve been a lot of things, but straight was never one of them.”

He shakes his head, still smiling. “True. But seriously, how did this happen?”

“I don’t know. I only met Mason recently, but I really like him. As you said, he’s my type, you know? I can see myself having a future with him. But Heart, I can’t get him out of my head, and I wanna know if there could be more between us as well, if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m his PO…”

My voice trails off when I notice Ranger freeze. “What?”

“Heart? Your porn star client is Heart? Ballsy Boy Heart?”

Oh damn, I fucked up. I didn’t think when I mentioned Heart’s name, thus breaking confidentiality. I always call him Gunner, and the one time I don’t… Usually with clients, first names are not an issue, but of course his name is anything but standard, and combined with telling Ranger he’s a porn star and tatted up, it’s…

“Wait? He’s a gay porn star…”

And my older brother, my tough-as-nails, Army Ranger brother who’s been to hell and back, he blushes. Ah. It seems I’m not the only one who fucked up.

“You’re not gonna ask me the question?” he asks when I stay silent.

“You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

He laughs, but then his laugh transitions into a sob, followed by another one. My heart breaks as he falls apart, and all I can do is sit next to him and hold his hand as he falls to pieces. He sags out of his chair to the floor, and I let myself slide down next to him to hold him. He drops his head on my shoulder, his too-thin body violently shaking.

It takes a long time before he calms down, but I’m content to ride it out with him. I don’t know what happened to him, but I can guess, and none of it is good. Crying helps, I can tell from experience, and so does talking, but I’ll wait till he’s ready to talk. He’ll get there. I hope.

When Ranger finally speaks, his voice is hoarse and broken. “Talk to me about your men, Lucky. Tell me something sweet, something good.”

I hold him close as I close my eyes and think of Heart. “Heart is sexy as fuck, even when he doesn’t mean to be. It’s like everything about him draws you in. His eyes, which are a mix of colors that you can’t look away from. His mouth, which curves as he smiles…and is so fucking red and sexy when he’s been kissed thoroughly. Not by me, sadly…but god, his videos. His body is…perfect. He’s tight and toned and strong enough to take a good pounding…or dole one out. But Ranger, he’s got such a good heart. He’s kind, gentle, fiercely loyal to his friends. It’s what got him into trouble before…believing the best of people.”

“He sounds like a good man,” my brother comments.

“He is. But he’s a client, and I don’t know what to do… Plus, there’s Mason. He’s a video game designer, did I tell you that? I know you don’t care much for them, but if you get the chance, check out the Break-Up Artist. It’s this mobile game he developed with his best friend, and he constantly has new ideas for games. He’s sweet and clumsy, and he makes me want to protect him and take care of him…and contrary to Heart, he’ll actually let me.”

“Sounds like you got it bad for both of them,” Ranger comments after a little bit.

“I know. I do, but how is that even possible?”

Ranger chuckles. “There’s this thing called threesomes. If you’ve ever watched porn, you should be familiar with it.”

“A threesome.” I scoff. “Aren’t those illegal?”

“Of course not. You can’t marry more than one person, but there’s no law against being in a relationship with more than one person.”

My brother would know, considering he managed to get a law degree somewhere along the way.

“Dude, but with my job? That would never work. Plus, the idea of Mason and Heart together is…”

I try to picture them together in my head, and much to my surprise, they fit. Mason is all eager, plastered against Heart’s body, and Heart is gentle and tender with him, taking his time to bring Mason’s body alive. His cheeks are flushed, his glasses askew on his nose, his hair all messed up and sexy. Then I step into the picture, and Mason’s eyes light up as he sees me. I kiss him until he runs out of breath, and his hard cock pokes me. Heart’s eyes are gleaming as he watches us with pride, his lips swollen from kissing, and he drops to his knees to…

I wince as my cock swells painfully in my shorts, excited by the mental image of those two together. Who the fuck would have thought I had such a dirty mind?

“Is what?” my brother asks.

“More appealing than it should be,” I say, sighing softly. It’s a pipedream, this all too vivid image of the three of us, but damn, it’s a good one.