I guess Lucky decided that subtlety was not the best strategy here, so he told me in no uncertain terms I was responsible for figuring out a date with him. Just him and me, not with Mason. I thought for a minute Mason would be upset about that, would feel left out, but he applauded the idea. He and Lucky have a date planned too, and Mason, the sweetheart, is even trying to figure out something for him and me to do.

When we said we wanted to date with the three of us, it also meant trying to figure out who we are both as couples and as a threesome. It sounds super confusing, but the reality is it that it’s all way easier than I could’ve imagined.

I thought long and hard about what Lucky and I could do together. A movie seemed too easy, almost lazy, and besides, the whole idea is that we get to know each other better. A movie doesn’t really accomplish that, unless you combine it with dinner, which makes it even more of a cliché. No, I needed to up my game and come up with something better.

My car is a piece of junk, so I did ask him to pick me up instead of the other way around. As soon as I get in, he leans in for a chaste kiss on my cheek.

“Seriously?” I scoff. “You’re kissing me on the cheek?”

Lucky looks at me for a second as he puts the shift into drive. “With you, it seems the line between chaste and wanting to bury myself inside you is super, super thin. I figured it would be wise to stay on the safe side.”

I almost choke on my own breath. Lucky hasn’t made a secret of his attraction to me, but this casual admission wasn’t what I was expecting. “Uh, thanks, I guess?”

He grins. “Hell, you have no idea how much I need to keep myself in check when it comes to you. Trust me, when our no sex-rule has ended, you and I are gonna create fireworks. Now, where am I driving to?”

It takes me a second to switch gears, and I hand him the address I’ve written down on a piece of paper. He quickly puts it into the GPS of his car.

“Ah,” he says with a happy smile. “We’re go-karting. Awesome.”

As he drives off, I shoot him a look sideways. “Yeah? You like it? I wasn’t sure what to do. I don’t have much experience dating.”

Yeah, I shouldn’t have added that last sentence. Now I come off as a total loser.

Lucky reaches for my hand and quickly squeezes it. “It’s gonna sound weird, but that makes me strangely happy. We get to figure this out together. And yes, I love karting.”

It’s Friday night, so it’s a little busy at the karting place, but after fifteen minutes of waiting, it’s our turn. We quickly get changed into the required coveralls and safety gear and then endure the equally required explanation of how the equipment works. I haven’t done this in a while, so I should probably pay more attention, but I can’t drag my eyes off Lucky.

There’s maybe twenty of us standing here, only two women amongst us, and something about him draws the attention of all the people in the room. I don’t know if it’s because he is sexy as fuck, because he is, the coverall he’s wearing accentuating his height and build, or if it’s because he has this presence about him. He radiates calm and quiet dominance, and he does it in a way that just makes you want to follow him. I can totally see why he thrived in the military. He’s the type of man you’d follow into battle.

Once we get seated in our karts, he flashes me a big grin. “Try and keep up.”

I grin right back. “Don’t choke on my dust.”

The race starts, and it’s quickly clear that we have a few newbies who have no chance, a few guys who’ve clearly done this before, and then there is me, Lucky, and four other guys who are taking the lead. Four laps in, I discover something about Lucky I didn’t know before. He is competitive as hell.

I don’t know if he hates losing in general, or he hates losing to me, but as soon as I’ve carved out a little lead, I see this concentrated frown on his face as he does everything to catch up with me. He clearly intends not to lose, at least not to me.

The noise of the karts in combination with the helmets we’re wearing makes it impossible for us to communicate with each other, but I can almost see the words coming out of his mouth to encourage himself… And to diss me, just a little. And man, I love it.

In the last lap, I manage to increase my gain on him, and we both know there’s no chance in hell he’ll ever catch up. That doesn’t mean he gives up, though. It reinforces my previous conclusion about his competitiveness because he keeps fighting until I cross the finish line. Then he crosses seconds behind me, having managed to gain more than I would’ve thought possible. We end third and fourth in our group, and I think that’s a pretty good result.

I climb out of the kart and take off my helmet, waiting for Lucky to strut over to me, his helmet under his arm.

“Congrats,” he says, earning major points in my book with that small word. I love a man who can admit his defeat and be generous toward his competitor. “That was a great race.”

“It was,” I say.

He steps closer, reaching out with his index finger and gently raising my chin to meet his eyes. Then he leans in and kisses me, a soft, warm kiss that is chaste and incredibly sexy at the same time.

“That was…nice,” I say, struggling for words when he lets go of me.

His eyes light up, and the corners of his mouth pull up in a cheeky smile. “Nice? Huh. I guess I have to work on my technique, then.”

“Hey, Lucky!” an unfamiliar voice calls out, interrupting us.

Lucky and I turn around at the same time, and a strange guy is walking toward us. He obviously knows Lucky, considering the fact that he called him by his name, but also because his face lights up when he gets closer. He’s a wall of muscle, this guy, and he’s even taller than Lucky. I wonder how they know each other.

“Dozer,” Lucky says with affection, letting go of me and taking a step toward the guy.

A warm and manly embrace follows, one of those hugs straight guys give each other. And suddenly, I know how they know each other, because when his arms come around Lucky, I spot the Semper Fi tattoo on Dozer’s arm. He’s a Marine, like Lucky.

No wonder he let go of me so quickly. There is no way he’s showing this straight as an arrow fellow Marine that first of all, he’s gay, and second of all, he’s out with a guy like me. His friend may not know I’m a porn star, but even without that, I’m hardly appropriate dating material for a guy like Lucky.

“I haven’t seen you in months, man,” Dozer says. “How’ve you been?”

“Good, man. Sorry I missed the last few times you all got together. My life has been pretty crazy.”

“Your convicts giving you trouble?” Dozer jokes.

Lucky’s face tightens, but it’s so subtle that I wonder if his friend even spots it. Then he turns around to face me, and for one second, I think he’s going to pretend he doesn’t know me, that were not here together. Instead, he reaches out for my hand, and I take it without even thinking about it.

He pulls me forward and turns again to face his friends. “No, I’ve been busy dating. Dozer, this is my boyfriend…”

There’s a pause at the end of a sentence, and it takes me a second to realize it’s because he’s not sure if he should introduce me as Heart or as Gunner. I’m not sure either. Would he be embarrassed to be seen with a porn star? I only have a split second to decide, and I follow my gut. I don’t ever want to have to pretend to be something or someone else than I am. So I reach out my other hand to Dozer.

“I’m Heart,” I say, feeling an incredible rush flow through me as Lucky squeezes my other hand, the one he’s still holding.

Dozer shakes my hand enthusiastically. “I’m Dozer,” he says. “I’m so excited to meet you.”

He lets go of my hand and focuses on Lucky again, slapping him on his back. “You lucky bastard; I can’t believe you kept this hidden from us. How long have you guys been dating?”

Lucky shrugs. “We’ve known each other for a while,” he says, deftly evading the actual question.

They chat for a little while longer before Dozer rejoins his group. Lucky and I do another round of karting, and he manages to beat me this time. Barely, but he’s elated nonetheless.

An hour later, we’re hunched over huge burgers in a small, homey diner that’s around the corner from the karting place. I’ve been here a bunch of times before, and their burgers are phenomenal. The whole menu has like ten items on it, but everything is delicious. Lucky seems to think so as well, as he finishes his burger in no time at all.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks me as I’m wiping off my fingers on the napkin.

I shrug. “Sure. Fire away.”

“Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?” His eyes never leave mine as his words hang between us.

I frown. “Why would I be embarrassed to be seen with you?”

“Because you thought I would be embarrassed to be seen with you,” he says softly, his eyes still trained on me.

He picked up on that, huh? It doesn’t surprise me. I’ve known he was perceptive from the moment I met him. There’s not much you can get past him without him noticing.

“Yeah, I thought for a second you were gonna deny you were there with me,” I admit. “You can’t really blame me, though, right?”

“Why not?”

“What do you mean, why not?” I ask.

He leans in, his eyes laser sharp. “Why can’t I blame you for having that little faith in me? Have I ever given you any indication that I would be ashamed of you?”

Rash words are at the tip of my tongue, but I hold them back. His question deserves my consideration, even if I am tempted to answer it with a quick, heartfelt yes. Of course, I would assume he’d be embarrassed to date me. After all, I am a convicted felon, and he’s a parole officer, a Marine, a veteran. He’s got this whole…life, friends, family. He’s the epitome of a successful man, so what the hell would he want with a former hooker like me?

Then it hits me. Everything I just thought, it’s all in my head. He has never mentioned anything like this, has never said that’s how he sees me. Other than some hesitations he shared about me doing porn when he was still my parole officer, he has never spoken out against my job. Even though I told him about my past, never brought it up again. Not me whoring myself out, not the stupid things I did for and with Terry, none of it.

“It doesn’t bother you, who I am?” I shake my head as I hear my own words. That did not come out right, not the way I had intended it. “No, that’s not what I meant. Like, my past… I told you what I did to survive. That doesn’t bother you?”

He reaches for my hand, and I let them take it, the coldness inside me thawing a little when his big hand wraps around mine. “Of course, it bothers me,” he says softly. “But not for the reason you think. It bothers me to think that was the only option you had. It bothers me to think that you had to do something you didn’t want, just to survive. It bothers me to know that no one was there to take care of you. It bothers me that you had so little self-worth and so few other options, that you got trapped into an abusive relationship. That is what bothers me, not you. Never you.”

When I look up from the table I’ve been studying for the last minute or so, Lucky’s eyes are still fixed on me, warm, compassionate. Loving. And for the first time, I start to believe that he sees something more in me than just my body.