Dominique rubbed at her temples, trying to dislodge the buzzing swarm of bees in her head that were forming a furious headache.

In front of her stood Ruby, arms folded, face defiant. Leaning against the kitchen counter and rocking back and forth in a cocky manner that reminder Dominique of her husband.

Her cheating shit of a husband, she reminded herself.

‘You did hit this Jayne Seward, though. Didn’t you? I know it, the headmistress knows it, the entire school knows it even though all the pupils seem to have been temporarily struck blind. If just one of them confirms the head’s suspicions, you’ll be expelled.’

‘Big deal.’

‘It is, actually, Ruby. Why did you hit that poor girl? Why won’t you even apologise?’

‘I’m not sorry. And I’m not going to lie and pretend I am. I’m not like you, Mother; I’m not a doormat, saying what I think people want to hear and letting everyone walk all over me just to keep the peace.’

Ruby had always been the funny one. The smart one, ready with a quip, or an interesting question. Sometimes it was annoying, especially when, around the age of four, it had felt as though every other word out of her mouth was ‘why’? But it proved what a sharp, enquiring mind she had. She had been known for her smile and was followed around by a flock of friends, but everything had changed when she started at that private school.

Dom had hated her going there, and was ashamed she had crumbled to Benjamin’s snobbery about sending her to boarding school. Although in front of Ruby she had seemed to back Benjamin, behind closed doors she had fought hard that Ruby be allowed to go to the local comprehensive as she had asked.

In the end, when Ruby was booted out, it had been something of a relief. Dominique had been convinced that her daughter would go back to her real self now that she’d got what she’d asked for. She hadn’t. Dom was slowly realising this nightmare child before her, full of hatred and disdain, might be the real Ruby. She wanted to ask her daughter what had happened. She wanted to get back her little girl, full of smiles and sunshine and constant questions. But she didn’t have a clue where to start.

Perhaps Ruby was right.

‘I’m not a doormat,’ Dominique said, ignoring the doubt in her mind. ‘I only want to know why you hit that girl. We’re lucky no one is pressing charges. Do you realise how close you came to expulsion? It’s only because none of the pupils will admit who did what, and because it’s so close to Christmas, that you’ve got away with this.’

‘Worried what people will think? I could tell you a thing or two, if you’re really interested. Things that would make your hair curl, Mother.’

The bees in Dominique’s head seemed to be stinging her brain repeatedly, the jabbing, stabbing pain and agony that made her jaw clench until words were hard-pressed to escape.

‘Oh, Ruby…’

She needed to lie down, not argue. She needed to clear her head. Even her vision seemed misty. Benjamin’s mistress, his betrayal of his family, what was she going to do? And now Ruby in trouble again, for beating someone up.

‘Look at you. You can’t even be bothered to listen to me. Then you expect me to talk to you. You’re pathetic.’ Ruby spat the venomous words then stomped from the room.

Dom watched but didn’t have the strength to go after her. Instead, she pulled out a chair from the kitchen table, and slumped into it. Folded over the table and pressed her forehead against the cool wood, trying desperately to marshal her thoughts.

She could only deal with one thing at a time, she decided. She would talk to Ben about Ruby, but she would hold off doing anything about Kendra. She refused to have her hand forced by some little tart; the mechanics of how to end her marriage was too big a choice to be rushed into. Decisions must be made first, things put into place and set in motion before she could give Benjamin a heads-up.

She looked at the large black-and-white photo on the kitchen wall. It was her family before Ruby started withdrawing and attacking everyone. Mouse had her arms wound around her mum’s neck, legs wrapped monkey-like around her waist, as she waved at the camera. Ruby was on Benjamin’s shoulders, a big grin on her face. They had been lost in Barcelona, and Benjamin had made locals laugh with his appalling attempts at Spanish. Ruby had taken charge at one point, confidently announcing that she knew the way, but would only show them if they all did the conga – that had caused a few funny looks being thrown their way. They hadn’t cared. Getting back to the hotel had taken for ever, but they had loved every second of their adventure.

If the scene were re-enacted today, it would descend into squabbles and screams of hatred within minutes. What had happened to her family?

---

Ruby hadn’t thanked Mouse for her drawing. That hurt. And was annoying. If that was her attitude, Mouse would take it back. She was starting to feel seriously grumpy. Mummy hadn’t listened to her about the party, and now Ruby was in Super Duper Trouble, a whole new category Mouse had been forced to create. Mouse had never seen Mummy or Ruby so mad before. No one was interested at all in seeing the prize she had won in pass the parcel. When Daddy got home there was bound to be fireworks – an expression Mouse was particularly fond of because she always thought it sounded pretty.

She sneaked into Ruby’s room to see what her sister had done with the drawing, but couldn’t see it anywhere. Then she realised: it must have slid underneath the doormat Ruby had put down inside her room. The one with the naughty words on it that Mouse wasn’t allowed to say. Mouse had argued that ‘off’ wasn’t a bad word, so she could say one of them out loud, but Mummy had screwed her lips up like she was eating sours sweeties, so Mouse hadn’t said anything else. She wanted to make sure she got her presents, and she wasn’t going to miss out because Ruby had bought a rude mat – it wasn’t her fault her sister was bad. Everyone was so mean lately.

Mouse was walking back to the mat when Ruby appeared.

‘What are you doing sneaking into my room?’

‘I was only—’

‘I don’t care, Mouse. Fuck off.’

‘You said the bad words.’ Mouse pointed down to the mat, to emphasise her point. ‘I’m telling Mummy and Daddy.’

The sound of the front door opening and closing, and Daddy shouting ‘hello’ paused their furious words. They heard Mummy speaking soft and low, then the door of Daddy’s study close. Ruby’s eyes were big and round as a Pokémon’s, but not friendly like theirs. She looked fearful and tense, her fists balled by her sides, arms straight as a ruler, as she listened to the prickling silence.

A huge bellow. Bigger than the one the rhino gave that time the family all went to a safari park.

Mouse whipped around to look at Ruby, scared.

Her sister didn’t look worried any more. Her hands unclenched. She grabbed Mouse by the hair and pulled her close. Mouse shrieked as pain shot across her scalp.

‘You bit me,’ she yelped.

‘Yep. That’s for coming in my room without permission. Bad people do bad things, squirt; it’s about time you realised and toughened up. Best of all, you can’t go snitching on me because no one can see the marks in your hair. Now get out.’

Mouse grabbed her big sister’s hand and sank her teeth into it. Ruby’s shriek of pain and annoyance was deeply satisfying. Even better was seeing an imprint of her teeth in her sister’s flesh. Before Ruby could lash out, Mouse scurried out to her own room, picked up Ted, and climbed into the wardrobe. As soon as she closed the door, her anxiety lessened. Curled into a corner, in the darkness, she pulled clothes over her head by touch alone. It muffled the shouting from downstairs. The warm air under the clothes made her feel protected.

‘It’s safe here, Ted,’ she whispered. ‘You don’t have to be afraid any more.’

She hugged him tight and that made him feel much better, too. If she concentrated hard on the sound of her own breathing she could pretend she and Ted were the only things in the world. Her scalp tingled and throbbed, and she rubbed at it, burying her face into Ted’s fur for comfort. Why had Ruby hurt her? What had she done this time that had made her sister so mad?

Her parents’ arguing moved to Ruby’s room. Mouse made out the odd word, but not enough to understand what was really happening. Curiosity was making her fidgety. She jiffled under the clothes mountain, as the temperature beneath reached oven-hot. Cautious as her nickname implied, she crept out from under it and opened the door of her built-in wardrobe. Listened. The shouting was definitely coming from Ruby’s room. Creeping to her bedroom door, she opened it a crack. Darted into the bathroom. Locked the door behind her, then pulled everything out of the bottom of the airing cupboard and crawled inside, knees under chin, pressing her eye against the wall.

There was a little crack right near the skirting board, which Ruby didn’t know about. Mouse knew all the hidey holes in the house, and all the best listening places, too. Despite people’s best efforts, there were never any secrets kept from her – apart from what Father Christmas was going to bring her. She hadn’t managed to find that out yet, but there wasn’t too long to go until the big day arrived. Only eight sleeps.

But Daddy’s voice dragged her away from thoughts of piles of gifts in sparkling paper, and back to the present. To his tanned skin paling as he spoke, and the trembling of his finger as he pointed it centimetres from Ruby’s nose. Ruby glared past it, meeting his eyes without flinching.

‘Don’t answer back; I’m not interested. Your time for explaining is long gone. You will apologise to that girl’s family, otherwise they are going to press charges. And—’ he raised his voice over Ruby’s shriek of protest, ‘and you are grounded for the foreseeable.’

‘It’s Christmas.’

‘You should have thought of that before you were so irresponsible,’ Mummy said. ‘You can’t see Harry Porter again, either, Ruby. Even in the New Year. You’re too young to be in a relationship.’

‘No, Mum. No, please.’ Ruby’s voice sounded different. Shocked, wounded, small… and more like her old self before she got so grumpy.

‘Your mother’s right. He’s a no-good, got no future ahead of him but signing on like the rest of his family. I’ve seen his kind a hundred times before, and he’ll drag you down with him.’

‘What? Because his family is skint? Because he’s black? You racist, Dad.’

Daddy pulled at his tie viciously, like it was strangling him. ‘It’s not his colour, it’s his type. And I’m not arguing about this – this is the way things are, end of story.’

‘This is stupid. I can’t NOT see him, can I – not when we go to the same school.’

‘You will not spend time with Harry; you will not speak to him. Are we clear?’ said Daddy.

‘I love him.’

‘You’ve only been with him a few months, Ruby. I know it probably feels as though you love him but you don’t.’

Mouse couldn’t see Mummy, but her voice sounded much calmer than Daddy’s.

‘What do you know about love? You and Dad can’t stand each other. You don’t even speak when you’re in the same room. What I’ve got with Harry is real.’

‘Well, real or not, you’re not seeing him anymore. The fact is… well, we didn’t want to say, but we’ve heard things about Harry. He has a certain reputation for dabbling with drugs, and his mother is a drunkard, by all accounts.’

‘Oh God, Mother, are you going to listen to a load of crap rather than your own daughter? Harry does not do drugs.’

‘For goodness’ sake – you are not having any more to do with that lad. End of conversation,’ Daddy bellowed.

‘I wish you were dead. I hate you. I hate you both.’

Daddy took no notice, just left the room, ushering Mummy in front of him, and closed the door. But before the door shut completely, Mouse was sure she heard him mutter under his breath: ‘Yeah? Well, sometimes I hate you, too.’