EIGHT DAYS TO GO

Mouse loved this time of the day best of all. Everyone she loved the most in the whole wide world were all together, happy and peaceful, and still in bed, sleepy tired. Outside, darkness paled, which made her brave, so that she knew the shadow of the monster terrifying her every time she woke at night was really her dressing gown hung on the back of her door. The house had even stopped making creaking noises like a ghost.

She loved first thing in the morning for all of those reasons – and also because she could read quietly for a little while before Mummy came to say it was time to get up.

With a contented sigh, she turned on her torch and pulled the duvet, with its Big Friendly Giant cover, over her head to read. She didn’t really need to; if she had put her bedside light on it wouldn’t have disturbed anyone. Not now she had a bedroom all to herself.

She hadn’t wanted her own room. She had preferred it when she and Ruby shared. Mouse hadn’t got so scared then when she woke, instead she had been able to prod her big sister awake and climb into bed with her. But since she got her own room Ruby had started locking her bedroom door, forcing Mouse to come up with a different solution. She would burrow under her duvet and make herself read, forcing herself to concentrate on the words really, really hard until she forgot about the scary dreams and imaginings and was whisked off to magical places. It didn’t always work, but mostly it did.

And when things got really bad, she hid in the wardrobe.

But right now, she pulled the duvet over her head purely to enjoy the warmth, breathing in the comforting aroma a little like fresh-baked biscuits. She started to read her book, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, but more thoughts about her sister crept in around the edges of her mind.

She wished she could do something lovely for Ruby, to cheer her up. When they shared a room, Ruby used to smile all the time, a hidden gem gifted only to Mouse. But now Ruby kept everything but her scowl locked away.

Having an idea, Mouse threw back the covers and padded over to her desk. Pulled out a drawing pad and some crayons, and started to copy the cover of her book. A lion with a huge mane and sad eyes. His face seemed a lot wonkier than on the cover, but she was pleased with it anyway. She ran her fingers over the crayons, thinking. The picture needed something else. Red love hearts kissed the page. Much better.

Holding up her effort, she turned her head on one side as if to look at it from all angles.

A soft bubble and chug sounded from the water pipes. Daddy was up and having his shower. Mouse smiled and hugged herself tight, lulled by the sounds of everyday life.

Mummy’s gentle knock came. The door opened.

‘You up, Mouse?’

‘Up and at ’em.’ She jumped and did a kick in the air like Kung Fu Panda.

‘Oh, you are raring to go. See you downstairs for breakfast in a minute, eh?’

Mouse grabbed up the drawing again and dodged past Mummy, scurried along the hallway, pausing for a moment to wriggle her toes in the thick cream carpet and enjoy the feeling. She slipped the drawing under her sister’s bedroom door then ran into the bathroom they shared, as her mum rapped to wake Ruby.

‘Wakey, wakey, rise and shine,’ Mummy called. Silence. Another knock.

‘All right. I’m awake.’

Ruby sounded grumpy. Of course.

Mouse carefully turned the knob of the shower – a hard task with her fingers crossed. She hoped her drawing did the trick with her big sister.

---

Dominique stared, unseeing, at the steam rising from the kettle. Didn’t hear the click as it switched itself off. While Mouse and Ruby got ready upstairs, it left her free to think about the state of her marriage.

She felt so alone. Benjamin had turned away from her last night when she tried to have sex with him. It had been months now, and it wasn’t like him. He could deny it all he wanted, but something was on his mind. Something big.

When he wasn’t working late, he hid in his study, only coming into the lounge after she had gone to bed, and waiting until she was asleep before joining her. When they were in a room together, there seemed to be nothing to say. If she asked about his plans for the day, he would give a noncommittal answer; ask how his day had been, she got a grunt.

His rejection of her efforts hurt more than a slap. What did she have to do to get her husband to notice her? What did she have to do to win him back?

Whatever it was, she wasn’t sure she had the strength for it.

She rubbed at her right forearm fretfully. When she realised, she snatched her hand away. Pulled down the sleeve of her dressing gown.

The twin silvery scars that ran beneath the long sleeve were hidden now. Still, they shimmered in her mind’s eye, taunting her. Reminding her of a past she would rather forget.

Trying to banish the thoughts, Dominique dived into the inexorable morning routine. Poured the scalding water into the cafetière, cracked eggs into a dish, put on the toast for everyone…

A howl of rage rang through the house.

Dominique ran.

On the landing stood Ruby, glaring down at her black jumper as though someone had murdered it. The fifteen-year-old’s face screwed up in disgust as she gave another moan, and pointed at her little sister. J’accuse.

‘Mouse, this is your bloody fault—’

‘Don’t swear at your little sister. Now, what on earth has happened?’

‘Look. There’s a hole in my brand-new top. I caught it on that nail—’

‘Well, that’s hardly your sister’s fault, is it?’

Dominique looked at her youngest. Her eyes were wide with hurt and protest, but she didn’t say a word. Despite being highly intelligent, and articulate when she wanted to be, she always came across as being both old before her time and younger than her eight years. Her name was Amber, but no one called her that; instead, she was known universally as Mouse, thanks to her habit of finding small spaces to squeeze into so she could read undisturbed.

Beside her, Ruby huffed. ‘Why are you always taking her side? I hate you.’

I hate you.

The first time Ruby had flung those words at Dominique she had flinched as if struck. The verbal blows were no longer unexpected, but they still hurt, and she still wondered what on earth she had done to deserve them. From the outside, her family seemed perfect. She and Benjamin made a good-looking couple, they had two intelligent, beautiful children, Benjamin was a successful businessman, running his own accountancy firm, they had regular holidays both home and abroad, and lived in a lovely home. They enjoyed all the trappings of success.

But as she looked at Ruby’s fury, she wondered if it were all starting to disappear, like a dream on waking.

---

Benjamin’s hand made a squeak as it swiped across the bathroom mirror, clearing the condensation. The extractor fan wasn’t working properly, which was infuriating. He’d have to get someone in to look at it. At some point. He had enough on his plate for the time being.

Despite standing under a too-hot shower for ten minutes, trying to work up the courage to step out again, he still felt exhausted. Tired, bloodshot eyes stared back at him from the clearing he had created in the mirror. Puffy skin stretched as he shaved but didn’t ping back the way it had when he was younger. Scattered here and there on his cheeks and beside his nose were broken veins, hiding beneath the sunbed tan that faked the fact he hadn’t afforded as many holidays in the sun this year as success dictated. The red spider veins were tiny, almost invisible, but enough to taunt him every single day. You’re getting old. You’re past it. You’re not the man you were.

Shoulders back, he strutted out of the bathroom, naked, dick swinging like a pendulum between his legs. Dominique wasn’t there to see his act, though, so he let his posture slump. He could hear her arguing with their teenage daughter, Ruby. He ground his teeth and he yanked on a pair of boxers, then trousers, as the conversation grew louder.

‘I hate you,’ Ruby shouted.

Right, he wasn’t putting up with that. He would have respect in this house. Not bothering to do himself up, he flung the bedroom door open and glared down the landing at the frozen tableau.

Ruby glowering. Jaw set, fists clenched as she leaned forward. Dom glancing at him apologetically. Hands open in a gesture of peace towards her daughter.

‘What the hell is all this racket?’ he growled.

‘It’s nothing. Ruby and I were discussing what she should wear to school today. It’s sorted now.’

Ruby looked from one parent to the other, then flung up her hands.

‘Fine.’ With a huff, she shut the door so swiftly that she almost, but not quite, slammed it – close enough that Benjamin took a step out of his own doorway to tell her off.

‘Leave it. Please,’ begged Dom. ‘It’s too early to have a row.’

He didn’t want to give in. It showed weakness, and he already felt fragile enough in the rest of his life. But he had other things he needed his energy for. With a dismissive wave of a hand, he too closed his door.

He was turning into his own dad, he knew. Being a complete boorish arse. It made him hate himself even more. He’d try to make it up with Ruby later, if he had time. But not right now. If he did it immediately, he’d look feeble.