Mouse hung onto the back of the kitchen chair as she did a little dance. Turned her head to one side and grinned at Aunt Fiona. The little girl was glad her aunt had come home with her and Mummy after the school play. They always had fun together.

‘Shall I eat a toffee penny? They’re really, really, really hard. Do you dare me? But if I break one of my teeth, I’m blaming you.’

‘I’m feeling lucky.’ Mummy’s friend grinned back from her seat at the table. ‘In fact, I’m feeling so lucky that I’m going to dare you to have a competition with me – whoever can make their sweet last the longest, wins. S, by the way.’

They were playing hangman, and Mouse pulled a face before grudgingly writing an ‘S’ down at the start of the second word. Then considered Aunt Fiona’s challenge.

‘All right, let’s see if at ten to five, in fifteen minutes, I’ve got some toffee sweetie left. Bits will still be stuck in my teeth in about three hours’ time, so I’ll win.’

‘Deal,’ nodded Aunt Fiona. ‘Oh, an M, please.’

Mouse did a jumping jack and shouted the letter out with a laugh. Then she drew a circle for the man’s face.

‘No M? Well, I wonder what on earth this can be? First word has seven letters, second word starts with an S, something, double E, something. I wonder…?’

Aunt Fiona seemed to glance over at the tin of Quality Street chocolates, and Mouse decided to use distraction techniques.

‘I want a mobile phone for Christmas. Mummy says they’re expensive, but I’ve said the only other things I want are books, and they don’t cost that much.’

‘Well, you’ll have to be good and see what Santa brings.’ Aunt Fiona looked around to make sure Mummy wasn’t looking, then stuck her tongue out. ‘We’ve been sucking these toffees for five minutes, and I’ve still got mine. I rule – I’m definitely going to beat you.’

‘You will not. You can’t even beat me at hangman.’

‘Have you got yours?’

Mouse giggled as she stuck her tongue out too. ‘Is mine bigger?’

They shuffled over to a mirror and opened their mouths again, both cackling.

‘You’re winning.’

‘I always win,’ nodded Mouse.

‘You should be in the Guinness World Records.’

‘There’s a world record for everything. There’s a record for how long you can be silly for.’

‘Really?’

‘I don’t know!’

Mummy walked in then, saying she could hear them laughing from down the hallway.

‘What are you two up to?’ She pulled a face like she was pretending to be suspicious, but Mouse could tell from her eyes and the twitch of her mouth that she was dying to join in.

‘Just playing hangman,’ Mouse replied innocently.

---

Watching Fiona and Mouse messing around for hours made Dom feel a surprise pang of jealousy. She wished she were so natural with her daughter, but despite being desperate for children, she worried that she was a little stiff with them. She had to try with game-playing, silliness didn’t come naturally to her. Fiona could switch it on, though. No one looking at her with Mouse would guess for a second that she was a hard-nosed divorce lawyer capable of making grown men cry.

The pair of them could talk about books for hours, and Fiona had an ability to play make-believe with Mouse’s teddy bear that made Dominique quite envious. Mouse couldn’t get enough of her. But, finally, she was persuaded to go upstairs and watch television. She had started to protest loudly and vigorously, looking dangerously close to kicking off a tantrum, until she’d been reminded that Santa would put her on the naughty list if she didn’t watch it. This would probably be the last year she would fall for that ploy, Dom thought sadly, as she poured herself and Fiona each a large glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.

‘So…’ Fiona trailed off meaningfully, and took a mouthful of the red wine. ‘We all right to talk now? You’re sure Benjamin isn’t due back?’

Dom swallowed, shook her head. ‘He won’t be back for hours. I’m lucky if I see him before I go to bed, most nights.’

‘Lucky? Unlucky?’ Fiona pretended to ponder, making a flip flop motion with her hand. ‘What about Ruby?’

‘She sent me a text message saying she’s out with friends. Some impromptu thing organised at school. She won’t be back until nine. I replied back reminding her she was grounded and haven’t heard from her since.’

‘It really is all piling up, isn’t it? How on earth are you coping?’

‘I’ve had more dreams, if that’s what you mean… But I’ve got an appointment for Thursday.’

‘Great news.’

‘If anything happens to me, you will be okay to have the children, won’t you?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘I don’t know, if I’m sectioned or something. Benjamin’s always too busy, so I need to know the kids will be looked after.’

‘Hey, there is no way it’s going to come to that. But if it makes you worry less then I will say the words: of course I’ll have Ruby and Amber. You know I love them to bits, they’re like my own children. Thanks for putting the hard work in giving birth and raising them so far, by the way. Don’t think I don’t appreciate your input with my children.’

Dominique laughed despite herself. Fiona could always cheer her up. ‘Yes, that’s no problem. They’d probably prefer to be with you anyway. You know how much they adore you.’

‘What a load of rot. They know they’ve got an easy ride with me, that’s all. I’m only ever around for the fun stuff, I don’t have to actually raise them and make sure they turn into decent human beings. Left to me, they’d probably turn feral.’

‘Oh, good grief.’

‘You. Are. A. Brilliant. Mum. Believe it. Which is why you would be able to cope just fine alone, if you had to.’

Dom took a significant swig of her wine to show her scorn. Fiona ploughed on regardless.

‘It’s entirely up to you. Whether you kick him into touch or make a go of it, I’m here for you. But, to my mind, Benjamin doesn’t deserve you. Juggling you and this mistress? Well, he can’t even claim it was a moment of madness.’

‘I know; he must have feelings for her. Four years of lies and deceit. I feel like I don’t know him at all.’

‘If he’s capable of lying about this for so long, what else is he willing to lie about?’ Fiona nodded. ‘He’s been having his cake and eating it. Time to make sure you get your slice, my love.’

Dom bit her lip, unable to reply.

The fairy lights winked at her, taunting that this was meant to be a time for happy families, for fun outings and cosy times indoors. Not a time for discussing breaking up the family, the fissures cracking open before her eyes.

Pretty soon she knew she was going to have to confront Benjamin. Tell him that she knew everything. But not right now. Not today. At least the festive season gave her an excuse to put off the inevitable.

For now, she was more worried about doing something terrible to her family herself, than the damage Benjamin was inflicting on it. That night, before she went to bed, she ignored Dr Madden’s advice, and swallowed a couple of sleeping tablets. Hoped they would knock her out.