Chapter 7

Jenna

“I need to leave by three if I’m going to make it to the waterfront by four,” I said during lunch with the girls.

“Why on earth did you agree to go running with him? That sounds like the worst date in the world,” Elaina added. “I mean, I thought he actually liked you? Why would he ask you to go for a run? If a guy asked me to go for a run, I definitely wouldn’t be giving him a second date.”

“I know, I mean, how are you supposed to look cute if you are getting all sweaty. You seriously should have told him no. Maybe suggested a picnic or something different. I don’t even know how you are going to talk to him. Are you going to talk while you’re running?” Stacy chimed in with her opinion.

Elaina and Stacy cracked me up. For two girls who basically worked out all day long, they really weren’t a fan of running at all. I, on the other hand, loved to run and was looking forward to spending some time with Kevin while working out. You could tell a lot about someone by their effort level while working out.

I didn’t often get a chance to go to the gym, but when I did, I liked to check out people while they were working out. Men and women had interested rituals when it came to the gym. But no matter what their rituals, I felt like you could tell someone’s overall life and work ethic by how much they put into their workout.

People who left everything on the floor during their workout I imagined did the same thing in life. If they pushed themselves as hard as possible in the gym, I could only imagine that they had that sort of personality which made them push in other areas of their life. If they barely broke a sweat and watched television during their whole workout, I suspected they didn’t put much effort into the areas of their life outside of the gym.

Of course I had no real data on my hypothesis, but I was relatively certain my observations were true. I couldn’t wait to see what sort of workout guy Kevin was. I had my suspicions that he was an all-out, work your butt off, sort of guy. Someone who had amassed such a large business with success had to be willing to work hard.

“We should do your hair,” Elaina said as she climbed onto the picnic table and turned me around so she could play with my hair. “What about a French braid?”

“Those look weird on me, maybe do two braids?”

“You’ll look pretty damn young if you show up with pigtail braids,” Stacy added. “But it might be cute.”

“Okay, let’s do it,” Elaina said as she split my hair down the middle and sectioned it off. “I have a good feeling about this guy. So don’t do any more of that disappearing crap. Be nice to him, smile every now and then, and don’t push him away like you normally do.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I laughed.

Men and I just didn’t work out well, and this guy and I weren’t off to the best start. I met him under a false pretense. He thought I was a dancer in the show and certainly didn’t know who I really was. How would I ever have any sort of real thing with this guy? I just didn’t see it happening. But I figured one date was worth a try. Not a real date. Not a date where I got dressed up, and he picked me up from my crappy apartment, but a jogging date was as much as I was willing to accept.

The rest of the afternoon, Elaina and Stacy added makeup to my look whenever we took a break from practicing. Each time I thought there wasn’t possibly another thing they could add to my look, one of them proved me wrong. By the time I actually took off to catch the train, I had a full face of makeup on and various pieces of workout apparel that had been given to me by my friends.

Stacy thought I should take my shirt off and run in my sports bra, but that definitely wasn’t going to happen. I did agree to wear a tank top, though, since the warm afternoon was likely to make me pretty sweaty while on a run, and I hated the sight of sweaty armpits on shirts; at least on my own shirts.

As I walked down the stairs to our meeting point, I practiced how I was going to tell him that this was going to be our only date. Sure, he was handsome and fun to be around, but he was also a rich CEO, and I lived in an apartment that had more rats than people living in the building. Nothing could ever come of us, and I wasn’t going to let myself slip into a delusional thought process that I could actually keep this guy. I had to just let him go.

I saw Kevin before he saw me. He was looking at his watch and looking around the dock to see where I might be. He was noticeable because he had on this brilliant blue tank top, and his muscular arms glistened in the sun’s reflection. I walked slowly as I watched him and relished the moment of getting to look at him without being seen just yet.

Kevin had a confidence about him that was undeniable. He was clearly one of those guys who had women throwing themselves at him, which was why it baffled me so much that he was attracted to me. Certainly, I wasn’t hideous, but I wasn’t a six-foot tall bone thin model either, and I imagined he dated those types. In fact, I’d run across a few pictures of him online with women like that.

I took in a deep breath as I stealthy approached from behind. The last few seconds where I could still leave if I wanted to, and I contemplated doing exactly that. I could just turn around and run back up the stairs, and he would never know that I was there. But I suspected that he’d make an effort to come talk to me again, so it was probably best just to have this date and be done with him for good.

“It’s warm out today,” I said as I approached him from behind.

“Jenna,” he replied enthusiastically and wrapped his arms around me and gave me a big, sweaty hug. “I was a little worried I was going to have to track you down again at the studio. You know I don’t even have your phone number.”

I just laughed off his comment. If I wasn’t going to be able to keep him, I certainly wasn’t giving him my phone number. As I pulled away from his embrace, I knew this was going to be a very difficult day for me. I liked having his arms around me. I longed for more of him.

I still didn’t see what it was he found so appealing about me, but by the smile on his face and the look in his eyes, his affection definitely appeared genuine. But it was affection for someone he thought I was, not the real me. There was no way a wealthy guy like him wanted to hang around a girl like me, not the real me. I was going to let him down easy and just move on with my life. Nothing good could possibly come out of continuing to see this guy past today.

“Should we get started?” I said as I motioned down the path toward the city.

“Yes, I just ran in from the park, we could walk if you’d like to talk?”

“I’ll race you,” I said as I started running down the path. “I’m not really the walking type.”

The less talking we did, the easier this was going to be. I couldn’t believe I’d agreed to even see him again. We had nothing to talk about. We were from two totally different worlds. But talking wasn’t exactly what I thought of doing with Kevin when I looked at him. Instead, I imagined all the delicious time in his bed we had already had; damn he did look good naked in that bed.

As we jogged down the long dirt path near the waterfront, I noticed Kevin was staying a few steps behind me. I wasn’t a fast runner, he easily could have kept up with me or even tried to hold a conversation during the two miles between the bridge and the park, but he was purposely staying behind me. It was the best possible outcome for me; I didn’t even have to talk to him as we made our way down the path and toward the park.

When I slowed down a little, so did he. When I picked up the pace, Kevin followed at the same increased pace. He never got closer to me or farther away from me. I couldn’t help trying to analyze what this workout style meant about who Kevin was. It was confusing, though. He clearly was a successful businessman. He had millions of dollars and a huge business that I’d seen tons of stories about in the paper. Why on earth wouldn’t he just run with me? I was baffled.

In the day since I’d seen Kevin, I had found myself looking him up online. I didn’t just do it one time, I was drawn on several occasions to see if I could find out more about him. Maybe I was looking for an excuse not to like him? Or perhaps I just wanted to know what I was getting myself into, but either way, I came away from my research knowing that he and I just weren’t a good match. He was more like my fantasy man than I’d ever known to imagine. Sure, there were some bad stories about his philandering with the ladies, but other than those, it was mostly stories about his business and charity work. Plus, he looked like a movie star in almost every press photo I saw of him.

“You can run with me,” I finally said as I turned back toward him. “You don’t have to stay behind me.”

“I like being behind you,” he replied with a boyish grin as his eyes focused directly on my ass.

“Wait, what are you doing?” I laughed as we both stopped running. “You were staying behind me this whole time so you could look at my ass?” I playfully pushed him off the path and into the grassy area next to us.

The whole time I’d been trying to analyze what was going on, and it was just manly hormones. I couldn’t stop laughing as we stood there. Some women might have been offended by something like that, but it was oddly reassuring to me. I had such a lack of confidence in whatever was going on between the two of us but suddenly felt a whole lot better about his attraction to me. Obviously, it didn’t change that we came from two different worlds, but I wasn’t exactly sure I’d be willing to give him up after this date. Not with that naughty look he had in his eyes.

“I couldn’t help it. Your ass is amazing. I’ve never seen anything more perfect. It’s got to be all that dancing you do,” he said playfully as he pulled me closer to him.

The firm touch of his hands radiated through my body, and I smiled up at him as if he was the only man I’d ever been touched like that by. He leaned in as if he was going to kiss me, but I pulled away. Just the mention of dancing was a reminder that I wasn’t who I was pretending to me. I wasn’t this amazing dancer who led the San Francisco Ballet company. Instead, I was just the loser assistant who spent her days getting yelled at by Cassandra. If he actually knew how low on the totem pole I really was, he wouldn’t be nearly as excited to look at my ass.

“We should keep moving,” I said as I started walking. “How about you just come walk with me.”

Disappointment flashed across his face as he realized I wasn’t reciprocating his affection. The problem was that I desperately did want to kiss him. I loved having his arms around me and just having him close reminded me of the incredible night we had spent together. But if things weren’t going to work out in the long run, I couldn’t bring myself to continue to flirt with him or accept his advances. Or at least I was going to do my best not to give in to those feelings.

“Did I do something wrong?” Kevin finally asked about a half mile down the path. His lips curled up as if he was going to ask something else, and he looked incredibly frustrated with me.

“No, not at all.”

“Then what’s going on?” He was exasperated as he stopped walking and flung his hands in the air.

“Nothing’s the matter; we just don’t know each other all that much, and I take a little bit to warm up to someone. I know since we slept together that night it is probably hard to believe, but I usually like to get to know someone before I’m kissing them. The other night was out of the ordinary for me. I hope you understand.”

It was gibberish; I was just blabbing on and on because I couldn’t think of any other good reason not to kiss him. The words sounded ridiculous coming out of my mouth, and I looked away in regret as I waited for his response. This didn’t feel right to me at all. I was going around and around trying to push Kevin away when he was trying desperately to get closer. Lying was a horrible way to start any kind of relationship, and if there was a way out of it, I might have considered a date with Kevin for real, but I’d ruined everything with my lies.

“Come here,” he said as he gently grabbed my hand.

His touch was powerful for me. I would do almost anything he asked to continue feeling his skin and mine together. The power of our bodies together couldn’t compare to any other man I’d been with. It wasn’t possible that I loved this guy; I hardly knew him, I had no future with him. But his touch resonated through my body and simulated what I imagined love felt like. I flashed back to the tenderness of his touch while we were in his bed. My whole body wanted more and was fighting with my brain and all the logical excuses I was making for why Kevin and I could never happen.

“I thought we were walking?” I asked.

“Let’s sit and get to know each other,” he said as he pulled me over to a grassy area where families and couples had gathered to enjoy the day. “I’m not in a hurry, are you?”

Yes, I need to get away from you before I say or do something stupid.

“No, we can sit,” I surrendered and went with him.

“I know we met under really odd circumstances, and you probably think I’m the kind of guy who takes women home all the time. But I do want to get to know you. I like how I feel around you, and I’d love to just talk if that’s okay with you?”

He smiled at me, and for a moment I forgot all my trepidations about being there with him. It was easy to be around Kevin; I was comfortable, relaxed, and as much like myself as I could be, considering I’d started this whole thing with a lie. At that moment, I was me, so all I could do was try and move forward with our date in honesty.

“Sure, let’s talk. I hear you are going to be retiring soon, is that true? You seem a little young to be retiring.”

“I’m selling my company. Not exactly retirement, though. I’m going to spend more time mentoring and helping small businesses. I feel like I’ve done what I wanted to accomplish with my company, and it’s time to move on.”

“That seems like something a young silicon valley CEO might say,” I teased him.

“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it.” He laughed. “But it’s true. When you take money out of the equation, and you are genuinely choosing your activities based on what you like to do, life gets more complicated than I’d ever imagined it could be.”

Taking money out of the equation didn’t really seem like an option for most people in this world. We had to work. We had to make money to pay the bills. Only hippies and vagabonds seemed like they could go about a normal life without worrying about money. I’d never even imagined that an executive would have a similar thought process.

My whole life centered around working hard and trying to earn enough money so I could live in a decent neighborhood. I didn’t even care if I had a nice apartment, all I hoped for was to be able to walk home from the train and not feel like I was in the middle of a war zone. The idea of actually having money enough to live in a nice home was so far beyond what I could imagine, and living like Kevin did wasn’t even part of the most elaborate fantasies I’d had.

“Okay, so what do you like to do besides work? Well, I know you like the ballet, well sort of.” I laughed and tried to keep the conversation on him to avoid having to talk about myself or my career.

“I do like the ballet. Especially now that I know I can come and watch you dance. My sister passed away in a car accident as a teenager. She spent every waking moment in dance class or practicing her dance moves in her room. I tried to play it off like the ballet was only important to her, but because it was important to her, I really do find a lot of value in it as well. If that makes sense?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“So what have you heard about me since the last time we talked? What are the horrible rumors your friends have been telling you, and is that why you’re pushing me away? I’m ready to defend myself,” he said with a smirk.

“I’m not pushing you away,” I protested, although he was right. That was exactly what I was doing.

“I’m a ladies’ man. Did they show you pictures of my dates? Was there a tabloid story about me and a model? Come on. Tell me what’s scared you off. I promise I’m not a horrible guy.”

“No, nothing like that.” I laughed.

“I spend my money recklessly and don’t help people who are less fortunate. Did your friends show you that plane I bought a few years ago,” Kevin rolled his eyes at the memory. “It was a bad idea; I knew nothing about planes or how much they cost to keep them up.”

“No, they didn’t say anything like that.” I giggled.

“Then it’s my hideous appearance?” he asked as he purposely made an ugly face at me. “I’m not always this hideous. I clean up real nice.”

“No,” I said, still laughing. “My friends actually like you a lot. They told me to be nice to you.”

“Oh, yes!” he said dramatically. “Okay, so what is it? I’m just not your type? It’s okay; you can tell me. I can handle it.” He pushed his chin out like I was going to knock him around or something like that. “My mom lied to me, didn’t she? I’m not the most handsome guy in San Francisco.”

I couldn’t stop laughing. There was nothing wrong with Kevin. Obviously, he was handsome, and even all sweaty, his light brown hair looked perfectly styled as we sat in the grass with the wind blowing on us from the water. His blue eyes matched the color of the sky, and he had a little bit of a scruffy beard starting to grow which made it look like he hadn’t shaved in a couple of days. Kevin was perfection; there wasn’t a single thing I could point to and say that I didn’t like.

“I’m probably not your type,” I finally managed to say.

“How do you know?”

“Umm, because I do. I’m not going to go into it, but I just know I’m not going to be your type, so this all seems like a bit of a waste of both of our time. I just don’t want to waste your time.”

“Okay,” Kevin said as he stood up. “I guess I’ll get going then,” he turned and started to walk away.

My heart sank so quickly that I felt dizzy. What had I done? How had I turned such a perfect guy against me so fast? But this was what was going to happen, eventually. It was better that he left now than after he found out I’d been lying to him this whole time and pretending to be someone I wasn’t.

Then he suddenly turned around and plopped himself onto the ground next to me. He laid on his side with one hand on his head and the other touching my bare thigh. He shook his head and was laughing to himself as he looked up at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Did you really think I was the kind of guy who gave up quickly when he wants something? I like to make my decisions based on facts. So far, I know for a fact that I like being around you. I also know for a fact that you like being around me. So I think I’ll stay and risk letting us both get to know each other.”

“You know for a fact that I like being around you?” I asked as I crossed my arms and looked at him defiantly. He couldn’t possibly know that for a fact.

“Yes, I do.”

“What if I said I don’t like being around you?” I stubbornly protested.

“That would a lie.”

“Kevin Fox, you are a little full of yourself. It is possible that a woman can be around you and not fall head over heels in love with you.”

“You are right. It is possible. But I see the way you look at me,” he said as his hand played with my thigh. “I’ve heard the way you moan when I touch you.”

He gazed intently at me, and I felt my body warm as his fingers moved over my thigh. It was the truth. Everything he was saying was absolutely true, and I wasn’t sure I could hide it. Yes, everything started as a lie. Yes, I really should have told him right then and there that I wasn’t a dancer at all. But I lost myself in that moment. I lost myself in the desire to have this man.

“Have you always had these perceptive powers?” I asked.

“Only when it really matters to me,” he said and pulled me down so I was lying with him in the grass. “I like you, Jenna. I’m not playing games. I’m just being honest and trying to get to know you. Let me take you on a real date, right now.”

“Right now?” I asked as I looked down at our workout clothes.

“Yes, right now. I’m not interested in putting this off another second. Let’s walk into town and find a place for dinner.”

“A casual place.” I laughed.

“Yes,” he said and leaned in and kissed me. “Did you say yes?”

“Yes,” I replied as I kissed him back.

Time slowed as we stayed in our embrace and enjoyed the comfort of each other’s lips. He tasted like a mix of breath mint and bubble gum, which seemed a little odd for someone of his age. Was he eating bubble gum then decided to eat a breath mint?

His lips were soft and firm as they pressed against mine. He pulled on my hip to move me closer to him, and I obliged by reducing the distance between us to only a few inches. As he wrapped his arms around me, I cuddled even closer until our bodies were pressed right up against each other.

Everyone around us disappeared, and it was just the two of us. The wind even seemed to die down, and the sun warmed up even more the longer we stayed there together. I had to figure out a plan, though; if I was going to agree to a date with him, then I couldn’t lie anymore. From this point forward, I had to try and tell the truth. I couldn’t keep seeing him and telling lies. Maybe I could just avoid talking about dancing?

“Now that’s more like it,” Kevin said as his hand lightly touched my face. “Should we walk into town?”

“Yes, do you have any idea where you are taking me?”

“Yep,” he said as he stood up and then pulled my arms so I was standing with him.

San Francisco was one of those towns that you really got a workout from if you were walking around. The ups and downs of the hills were enough to tire anyone out. As we walked into town, I had a permanent smile on my face, yet I was so nervous about agreeing to spend more time with him. I honestly didn’t know how this was going to work out. I had no idea what was to come, but the feelings I had around him weren’t anything I could deny.