Riley
I kiss him back, despite my better judgement. I don’t know what it is about him in this moment, maybe it’s the uncertainty piercing his usual cocky self, or maybe it’s the moment of honest humanity he just showed me. Either way, I find myself blindly attracted to him, and that’s a bad thing.
The kiss feels good, and I lean into it, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands slide down my hips, down toward the hem of my skirt, and I wiggle my hips as he slowly pulls it up, his hands tracing a line along my thighs.
I groan a little bit as he teases my pussy over my panties. I’m stupid and an idiot and I’m going to ruin everything but I’m not pulling away from this, not when it feels so good. We’re in the middle of nowhere, two people on the edge of a farm in rural Illinois, or maybe Indiana, I can’t even remember, and it doesn’t matter. Because as far as I’m concerned, it’s just me and Aaron.
He flips the top of my panties down as my legs spread and his fingers find my clit. I groan into his kiss, pulling myself closer to him, pushing my face against his. I want to grind and roll my hips but he pins me against the tree. I can feel the bark, rough and warm against my back. I gasp as I feel his fingers press deep inside of me, sliding around in amazing circles as he plunges them in and out, pulling them back to work my clit.
Maybe it’s the adrenaline from the sale, but this feels so right it must be a mistake. The only things in my life that have ever felt this good have been mistakes. I don’t want this mistake to end, though.
He tastes good as his tongue slides against mine. His free hand grabs my hair, pulling my chin up, exposing my neck. He kisses me there, letting my moans escape into the air next to his ears.
“You think about this every day, don’t you?” he whispers. “You think about having my baby and getting fucked by me.”
I pause, blinking. Having his baby. I shudder as he pushes his fingers deep inside of me, but something’s shifted. I put my hands on his chest and push him back.
“Stop,” I say. “Can you stop?”
He listens instantly, hand coming out of my panties. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
I move away, stepping back toward the path, my body ringing with unfulfilled desire. “Let’s go back.”
I start down the path, not bothering to wait and see if he’s following. I’m so frustrated and angry and fucked up. I don’t even know why I stopped him, but as soon as he mentioned the baby, I knew I had to end it.
I hear his footsteps catching up behind me and soon we’re walking side by side down the path. My panties are soaked and ruined and I wish I could just get down on my knees, suck his cock, give myself to him, but I’m just getting in my own damn way. None of this is his fault, I can’t blame him for how I feel about him from our past, but here we are anyway, things so complicated that I’m not even sure I understand how I feel.
We reach the trailhead and walk over to the car. I let him drive us back to the hotel in silence, trying to read my own mood and failing miserably. I know I’m throwing a pity party and I’m the only person invited, I just can’t help myself.
I glance at Aaron as he drives with his eyes glued on the road ahead of him. It’s strange to think that I used to look up to him in a weird way. I had a crush on him, of course, but I also wanted to be him. I wanted his carefree confidence, his charm and his wit. Everyone liked Aaron and I wanted to be like that. Instead, I was a gangly and awkward little girl that he rarely ever paid any attention to, even though he was constantly hanging out in my basement.
I know that’s all in the past. I know I need to let it go, I just can’t. It’s like when you go home after being away for a long time, and you suddenly revert back to being a kid again, even if you’re an adult. You fall back into those old patterns. When I’m around Aaron, I fall back into my old patterns, and I don’t love the girl I was.
Aaron parks outside of the hotel and I follow him into the lobby. We check in at the front desk before he leads me to the elevator. We ride it up in silence, and I keep stealing glances at him, wondering what’s up.
We head down the hallway, down toward our neighboring rooms. He stops outside of his and half turns back to me, a little smile on his face as he swipes his key into the magnetic lock.
“I’ve never met someone so skilled at cockblocking herself in my life,” he says to me, stepping into his room, “but don’t worry. I’m far from giving up.”
I want to follow him, yell at him, but instead I just turn stiffly back to my own room, wondering if maybe he’s right.