4
Aaron
A baby was never part of the plan.
Maybe that’s a cliché, but I really do have a plan. I feel like I’ve had a plan my whole life, and it’s never, ever involved children in any way, shape or form, let alone a surprise, accidental baby with my old best friend’s little sister.
It’s all sorts of fucked, but the really fucked part is, I’m weirdly excited.
I can’t sit still. The next day at work, I’m all over the place, making calls and practically running around my office like a moron. It’s a good energy, though, the sort of energy I get when I’m deep in the middle of a new project and buzzing with joy and creativity. It’s the sort of energy I live for.
All because Riley’s pregnant. I should be hiding in a fucking hole somewhere, waiting for this all to blow over, but no, no fucking way. My baby’s coming in nine months, and I’m going to be ready.
I had decent parents. My father wasn’t the best, but he was around and he provided, at least until he died of a stroke when I was sixteen. My mom kept her shit together for a while after that, but she’s living in Florida now with a guy named Ron that keeps wanting to golf with me. I can’t pretend like I was brought up by some abusive assholes or something like that, but it’s my nature to want to be better.
And I want to be better than my father was. No matter what my child’s like, boy or girl, straight or gay, whatever, I’m going to be so fucking supportive they hate it. I’m going to be annoyingly supportive. I’m going to be that amazing dad that they’re outwardly embarrassed of, but secretly they’ll think I’m awesome. I want to be that awesome dad, which is a totally weird thought.
But here I am, imagining all the ways I can make myself better in order to be a better father. Just a few days ago, the thought of a baby would have made me mildly annoyed at best, but now it’s making me downright joyous.
I get up and walk over to my window, hands clasped behind my back. The only thing I need is to convince Riley that she wants to be a part of this. I know I can be a great dad, but I don’t want to do it alone, and I don’t want to do it with anyone but her. It’s so intense and I’m so sure that I know I have no other choice. I’m going to make her my bride and she’s going to be the mother to my child, and together, we’re going to have a family.
I just have to convince her of that first.
I turn away from the window, still smiling, and leave my office with a little bounce in my step. I nod and smile to everyone, tossing out a few casual good mornings, until I make it back to where the engineers all sit. This time, I find Riley at her desk, and she looks up at me with a big frown on her face as I lean up against the side of her cube.
“What do you want?” she asks.
“Just a quick chat.” I cock my head. I’m not letting her sour mood bring me down, not at all. I’m going to raise her spirits, whether she wants that or not.
She turns from her computer, arms crossed. “Yeah?”
“Let’s go to the break room.”
“We can talk here.”
I lean closer to her and speak more softly. “You think that’s a good idea?” I give her a little smirk and lock eyes with her.
She sighs and finally breaks eye contract, shaking her head. “Okay, fine. Come on.”
She gets up and I follow her into the break room. Mercifully, it’s empty. She whirls on me, looking pissed.
“You can’t use that against me,” she hisses. “You hear me?”
I raise my eyebrows. “I wasn’t.”
“You were. You just used the fucking baby to get me in here, and I didn’t—”
“Have you thought of names yet?” I ask, interrupting her.
She falters, her anger briefly replaced with confusion. “Excuse me?”
“Names for our baby. I was thinking we could do something like ‘Ephraim’ for a boy.”
She makes a face. “That’s the name from that awful WB show Everwood, right? The brooding kid that played piano?”
I laugh, genuinely surprised. “I didn’t know you watched that.”
“I didn’t. My brother had it on sometimes.”
“I’d make fun of him, but I did, too.”
“That’s a hard no for me, by the way,” she says. “That’s such a bad name.”
“Okay, okay,” I say, nodding and looking thoughtful. “I’m glad I came to you then. What about Lucas?”
“That’s from One Tree Hill. Are you for real?”
I laugh again. “I guess I’m not too creative.”
“Or stuck in the early 2000s, more like.”
“That was my heyday.”
“No, it wasn’t, you dork.”
She’s smiling now, and I can’t help but smile even bigger. I know this won’t last, but it feels good, just making her feel a little bit happier.
I know this is hard on her. I keep thinking about how this must be the most impossible thing she’s ever faced. She’s clearly gone through her whole life thinking she can’t get pregnant, may never have a baby, and now suddenly she gets knocked by up a guy she clearly despises. I don’t want to get into why she hates me, because there’s clearly something going on there, but this baby must be really eating her up inside.
I want to try and take away some of that burden if I can. I know I can’t completely, but I want to try, even if most guys wouldn’t react this way.
I have every right to be pissed at her. She told me not to use protection that night, and although I should have known it was a stupid idea, I still fucked her and came inside of her without a second thought. I could be angry that she made that choice, but I take full responsibility for my own actions, and some responsibility for hers. To be fair, it’s hard to resist my charm.
“I don’t even know why I’m having this conversation with you,” she says.
“Because you’re curious what I’m going to name your baby.”
“Not my baby,” she says pointedly. “Your baby.”
I shrug. “Sure, whatever.”
“Seriously, Aaron, you’re not changing my mind.”
“Never thought I would.” I give her another charming smile and lean toward her. “But maybe I can convince you to make another.”
She groans and rolls her eyes. “What, you want to get me pregnant while I’m already pregnant?”
“We could try, at least.”
“Oh, smooth one.”
I wink and she laughs despite herself. “Never going to happen again,” she says. “Seriously, that ship has sailed. I got knocked up the last time we did that, I don’t plan on repeating that mistake.”
“I don’t think it was such a bad mistake, as far as those go.”
She rolls her eyes. “Of course you don’t. You’re not the pregnant one.”
I shrug a little bit. “That’s a good point. I’m just saying, I never pictured myself as a father before, but now it’s all I can think about.”
She’s quiet for a second, chewing on her bottom lip. Before she can respond, one of the other engineers comes in. He must sense the vibe, because he grabs a coffee and hustles back out as fast as he can without so much as a nod or a glance in our direction.
Riley glares at me once he’s gone. “Just drop it, okay?” she says, and I realize that I’ve lost her. “I’m not interested in being a mother, and I don’t care what you do with this baby when all this is over.”
“You don’t mean that,” I say softly.
“I have to mean it.” She glares at me, arms crossed. “I’m a woman. I don’t get the luxury of caring.”
I look away, because I know she’s right. “Well, okay, if that’s how you feel. But don’t come to me when I name your baby Freddie.”
She grunts a little. “For a girl, I assume.”
I grin at her. “Of course.”
“From Angel.” She rolls her eyes, but a little smile peeks at the corners of her lips.
“Bingo.” I turn and head to the door. “Have a good day, Riley girl.”
“Stop bugging me at work,” she snaps before I can leave. “Understand?”
I pause before I leave, looking back at her. “I make no promises.” I turn and head back to my office, whistling and smiling to myself as I go.