CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
HOPE
I dream of the way he touched me, the way he made me feel and it feels so real like I’m reliving it all over again.
I’m happy.
I’m content and then I’m thrown back into reality at the creaking of the door. I go down on my knees, my forehead touching the floor, my hands at either side of my face just as Mark beat into me. Everything else dwindles away as I watch through my lashes as in slow motion Mark and his father walk in.
Where’s Zac?
Why isn’t he with them?
What have they done? Do they know what we did? So many thoughts race through my mind as fear descends and casts a thick cloud all around me, suffocating me as the two men step closer.
“Today’s the day, my love.” Mark says as he reaches down to raise my face. I look between the two of them, just hoping that he’s lying. I feel like I have been here forever but all of a sudden with the fear of what’s to come looming around the corner it doesn’t feel long enough.
I need more time.
Zac needs more time to get help.
Where is he? Why isn’t he here? Mark’s face is close enough to mine to look into his eyes to see if he’s really lying but his face and his fathers tell me all I need to know. My fears are true, today is the day but Zac told me that help is coming tonight. It will all end tonight. Oh God, I hope he wasn’t lying to me, please let him be telling me the truth.
I don’t have any more time to think about it because Mark pulls me up and starts to get me ready for tonight. I’m made to show his father everything that I have learnt, I do too many different things and all I want to do is push them off me, bite them and hit them to show them that they may have wanted to extinguish my fire and although they had almost done it Zac brought it back. I was never really gone, I was just waiting for someone or something to light me back up again. Remind me of who I am and what I have to fight for.
My family. My freedom. My future. Zac. He’s done so much for me and when this is all over I will owe him so much. I try and remember all that as I pretend to be the slave they have want me to be. If Zac has really done this for me then I have to play my part, I have to make sure that I don’t give anything away. They give me my bread and some water and another needle. I try not to think of anything but the thought of seeing my parents again, tasting freedom, feeling the warm air against my skin.
What happened when I first got here happens again. He waxes me all over, washes me with a hosepipe and all the while I try to blank out the pain that starts to develop since that fucking needle.
Freedom. Family. My future. I just keep repeating those words over and over again, just thinking that today’s the day.
Today, tonight, is the day I get my freedom back.
****
I want my freedom back, this could be it and so I gladly go without a fight as Marco comes to lead me away. My heart thumps away in my chest as I hope with all that I am worth that whatever Zac has planned is going to work. This could be the time where I get what I really want. Marco pushes me to the door but before he opens it a rag bag is pushed over my face and my hands are tied together behind my back. Firm hands grab at my arms and as I’m pushed and pulled, I can tell when we get outside. I can feel the coolness of the air on my skin and I try to breathe in the cool air but all I get is the old musky air that is trapped within my mask. I know I’m thrown into a car and the gentle hum from the vehicle sends me into a light sleep but it’s enough to forget for a while. I twist my limbs just trying to get out of Marco’s grip as he pulls me out of the car and then pushes me forward like a naughty dog before suddenly stopping and forcing me to crash into him just as the air around me changes. We’re inside again, this is it. The rag is removed quickly, forcing me to blink away the blinding light. Marco stands in front of me, adrenaline clear on his face as he raises his hand and it quickly strikes the side of my face. My eye instantly feels like it’s going to pop out of its socket from the pressure, a throbbing in the side of my face starts to build making me scream out with the needle still in my system just as Marco’s firm grip of my arm hardens, cutting off my blood-flow.
“You will do as you’re fucking told today or I will kill you myself.” He isn’t lying, I can see it in his eyes. He will kill me and he will make sure it is as slow and as painful as he possibly can. I try to move away, even though my mind wants to keep me on the spot, not to aggravate the beast in front of me. He keeps looking at me and I bow my head, not wanting to look at his face, not wanting to see his plans. I hear his grunt and then he starts pulling me along a long hallway. My lips part as my lungs struggle to breathe in the much-needed oxygen but I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want that oxygen if it means doing what Marco wants. I don’t want to be led like a dog into another room but I am and I have no control to stop it. My body is on lockdown as I’m walked into a room clouded within the realms of another darkness and I just want to stop dead and bring up anything that is in my stomach to show my disgust. It is like any other room with a party in it. Chairs are all around and in the middle is a raised stage with curtains around it, hiding whatever lies in wait from the crowd. Oh God, that’s going to be me.
This isn’t the end.
Help is coming. I don’t want to be here. I want to be back home already. I want to be back with my family. My knees start to buckle from beneath me as I try to remain strong and just hope that Zac is right, that help is on its way.
It is on its way, Zac told me and I believe him.
I bump into Marco and he looks at me like a snake waiting to strike and with no time to think about what is about to happen Marco takes both my hands in one of his and raises them above my head. I look up as he shackles me to the handcuffs that are attached to a track that goes around the entire stage in different directions. He lets go of my wrists and the shackles to take a firm grip of my chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing my neck back.
“Today you will be the slave I’ve trained you to be and you’ll be someone else’s problem.” He sneers as his grip on my chin just keeps tightening. I can feel the ache in my neck. I feel his breath against my neck and the presence of men as they start to walk in, looking at me, waiting to pay money for me. I just want to run away.
Please Zac, please daddy or my brothers, please come and save me from this nightmare. This is a nightmare, this can’t really be happening to me. The grip is lost and I have the ability to move my neck and I’m greeted with more forced reality as shadows in the distance become clearer and all I can see is a dozen devils. My eyes can’t stop the flow between the different men that begin to take their fancy chairs in the too-close distance with their designer suits. Waiters, waitresses walk around with trays handing out drinks to all these man and they just sit around as if they have all the time in the world. My world, and I want to scream at them all, I want to scream at Zac to hurry up. I can see Marco and Mark amongst them just talking and laughing. I hear Marco’s voice and then all the men stand up and walk forward as they begin their prowl of their latest prey. I fight the need to cry, biting my lip in the process and the taste of blood touches my tongue.
Please be right Zac, please. Please let there be someone here to help me. The way these monsters look at me with their manicured looks and self-righteous eyes makes me feel so worthless. I am nothing to these people but a form of entertainment, something to spend their millions on. Oh, my God, please send help. Please let what Zac said be true.
What’s taking him so long? Fear takes my body hostage and all I want to do is collapse into the submission position that was drilled into me but I can’t.
This is it.
This is the end. I’m going to die and all these men will laugh over my corpse. There is no chance of survival as the men all begin to step up onto the stage shouting numbers as they do. My heart slams to a stop even though I can’t hear the figures that are being shouted around me, my mind is deaf to the voices around me and I wish I could take away the sight before me too. Too many men with round tummies, sweat dripping down their foreheads in big drops. I feel disgusted. They are here to pay for me like I am an item in a shop. How many other victims will there be after me?
How many other girls will there be taken from their family and pushed into this life of hell?
A noise so loud it’s deafening erupts from the front of the room and as I look around the different men panic graces their ugly faces. My eyes swoop over to where the noise is coming from and a bunch of men spread through the doors with armour covering their bodies, with guns held tight against them pointing to all the different men who are each starting to look behind them. Blasts start to echo from the metal friends in their hands, sending the room into more chaos and running straight in my direction. I can’t make sense of what I am seeing. Is that Zac I just saw firing a shot with a deep fire and hatred in his eyes? Screams echo all around me and all I can see is the blood-flow as bodies fall to the floor in a heap.
Is Zac really here?
Is he here fighting the men that kept me prisoner or is it all just a dream? Are the drugs they were giving me taking too much of me hostage so I am seeing things that aren’t real?
I can’t keep focus on what is going on, everything is becoming too much, I just want out. My body is too tired, so consumed with pain that I have no power but to let my body fall into nothing.
My world is shaking and then he is before me like an angel with his halo giving my life light once again. I can see the heartbreak in his eyes begging for forgiveness but he will never need it. This wasn’t his fault and my heart spirals at the thought that he thinks he needs forgiveness.
“I’m forever sorry. But you’re going home now.” A gentle smile reaches the corner of his lips, tears forming in his eyes, but he’s trying so hard to remain strong. My heart breaks for this man. I can see the hatred for himself and I just want to tell him it will be ok but I have no control. My body isn’t my own and all I want to do is close my eyes and sleep.
“I’ll never hurt you again. No one will ever hurt you again. I promise.” I can’t take any more. The blackness is too much of a welcome retreat and I go willingly.