There is nothing in this world better than waking up in your own bed after weeks sleeping in tents and on cold, hard ground.

Actually, that’s not true.

The one thing that’s better than that is waking up in that bed, with a beautiful naked woman next to you.

My eyes are open, the fragments of a horrible dream slipping away into nothingness, and Del is lying beside me sleeping on her stomach, her gorgeous face at peace, her thick and shiny hair sprawled out around her.

I have to take a moment to let it sink in.

There are feelings rushing through me that I’m not sure what to do with, that are catching me off-guard. I feel so much for her at this moment, and I’m momentarily breathless.

I can’t believe this is happening.

That this did happen.

Me.

With Del.

All my life she’s been there. I was lost after my mother died, unmoored and angry and reckless and sad, so horribly sad, and then she came along and changed my whole fucking world.

The truth is, I never thought of her as a sister. I may say that to people and I certainly get why Shane and Maverick might think that way about her, but I never did. She was always something separate, the girl next door, a light that would always lead me out of the black. She was my saving grace and the one constant thing I had in my life, the one person who could turn things around.

I’ve never told her that. I’m not sure that I can. What I feel for her has always been so deep and complicated that I still don’t quite know what it is.

What I do know is that sleeping with her has injected a little chaos into my life. Not in a bad way, just in a way that I can’t seem to wrap my head around. Roy died last week right before my eyes. The first member of our hot shot team to go and…I haven’t been myself since then.

Fuck, I don’t think I’ve been myself ever. I don’t know if I even know who my true self is.

But I do know that the moment I laid eyes on Del at the wedding yesterday, looking impossibly stunning in that dress that showed off her tanned smooth skin, the curve of her breasts, the slope of her shoulders, all that sorrow was diverted. It didn’t stop, it was just sent in another direction, far away from us.

It’s stayed away. Being deep inside her brought me peace. It made the war in my heart come to a cease-fire. It made me feel a fire that didn’t burn from hate and shame but from another place, a pure place.

Though to be honest, what I’m feeling for her right now is anything but fucking pure.

I reach over and pull back the covers so her ass is exposed and take a good long minute to drink her all in.

Del has a fantastic body. She’s tall, with lean muscle and these perky breasts that drive me crazy every time she’s not wearing a bra. But I’m pretty sure her ass is my favorite part. Of course, I’ve seen her in a bathing suit numerous times. Sometimes, when I’m home during the summer, we’ll be down at Willow Lake with a cooler of beer and she’ll be wearing some retro bikini that makes you stop and stare.

But everything is different now that I actually have her in my bed, now that I’ve had her in my hands, that I’ve touched and licked and tasted every part of her. I can’t stop wanting her. I can’t believe my luck.

She groans softly, turning her head over on the pillow and I smile at her, her lithe tanned body against the white sheets. I’m sure she’d think I was a total creep for just staring at her like this.

I don’t care. I’ll take her scorn. The more I look at her surprising beauty, the more the darkness is banished, somewhere, elsewhere.

“Are you staring at my ass?” she says, muffled into the pillow.

I bite my lip to keep from laughing as she turns over onto her side, her hair spilling over half her face.

“I was,” I admit. “Now I’m staring at your tits.”

I’m pretty sure her face is slowly turning red under that hair. I reach over and brush it back off her face, cupping her jaw as I stare into her eyes. Green and gold and bronze all swirling around. I used to say she had mood ring eyes as they always seemed to change color, especially while growing up. Now, even in certain light, like the bright morning sunshine coming through a gap in the blinds, they look as gold as a field during sunset.

“Now I’m staring at you,” I say, licking my lips. “Because I’m having a hard time believing that you’re in my bed, naked. I’m waiting for that moment when you evaporate between my hands and you were never here to begin with.”

She gazes at me through her long dark lashes and I feel the heat in my chest intensify, her tenderness is disarming. Then she gives me the cheekiest of grins and reaches down, her palm sliding flat along my stomach until she grips the edge of my very hard cock.

“I think your dick believes I’m here,” she says sweetly.

God, help me. I knew Del could be saucy and devious, but I never imagined her this way with me, like this, with her hand gripped expertly around my cock. My eyes nearly roll back in my head.

“It certainly does,” I manage to say, the raw lust and need starting to build inside me. My fingers press harder into her jaw as I lean in and kiss her, capturing her mouth against mine. I lean over her until she’s lying on her back and my tongue dances with hers, stoking the fire.

“Oh, Fox,” she says.

My name sounds so good.

I unleash myself on her neck, licking and sucking just the way she liked it before, until soft moans fall from her mouth. Music to my ears.

My fingers slip between her legs and I’m instantly hard

“God, you’re so wet for me,” I whisper to her, my voice catching in my throat. “Can I make you wetter?”

She gives out a breathy “yes” as I slip my finger along her cunt, the sensation making me delirious with lust. She lets out a lengthy moan, her hands tighter in my hair. “I want my cock to slide into you, just like this.” I add an extra finger and move them in together. “In and out, in and out,” I whisper as my fingers go along. “You want it harder, deeper?”

She groans and I look up to see her arch back, her breasts pointed forward, her sweet, pink nipples tight and hard.

What a fucking sight.

“Do you want my cock?” I ask softly. “My tongue? How would you like me to fuck you?”

“Anything, Fox, anything,” she says through another moan as I drive my fingers even deeper.

I press my face in, my tongue snaking out and licking up to her clit. “You taste so good,” I murmur into her and she shudders from the vibrations. “I’ll never get enough of this.”

I suck her clit into my mouth, wet, warm, and she gives a sharp cry, calling out my name in such a way that it will be my undoing if she keeps this up.

I pull away, needing a breather, needing to control myself. Her eyes are half-closed, dazed, mouth open with her hair falling over her face.

Fucking.

Beautiful.

“I want to fuck you from behind, darling,” I tell her as I slip my arm under her back and flip her over on the bed so she’s on her stomach.

I positon myself behind her ass, her long shapely legs between my muscular thighs, my cock hot and inflexible in my hands. With one hand I run my finger down the crack of her gorgeous ass, so perfectly toned and perky, that I instinctively give it a smack with my palm.

I wait a moment, watching for her reaction. Her ass rises a little higher, wanting more.

I smack it again, hard—crack—the sound filling the room.

“You like that too?” I murmur and the moment she nods, I spank her again, this time getting both cheeks, turning them pink.

She nods, makes a sweet little sound of urgency and that alone makes me want to explode.

I grab my cock at the base and steadily push it in between her legs, into her cunt, deep as I can go.

I groan as she envelops me, a tight velvet fist. The fact that her legs are closed together means I have the added friction from her thighs.

Fuck. I’m not going to last long.

She grips me from the inside out and I push in further, my breath shuddering.

I press my hand down on her shoulder for leverage, slowly pulling myself out, then back in, trying to find the rhythm without crushing her. My thighs are doing most of the work, shaking slightly, the muscles popping as I move faster and faster, my cock disappearing entirely inside her, the base shiny from her desire.

My hips circle and I shorten my thrusts so I don’t slip out. She’s wet down to the middle of her thighs and I want to stay inside her deep like this, tightly packed. It’s such a fucking squeeze that a sweat is breaking out at my temples, my muscles wound too tight.

Delilah is moaning something deep and desperate.

“Do you want to come, darling?” I whisper hoarsely. “Will you come on my cock? Make my cock so fucking wet. You’ll make it so fucking wet.”

She’s groaning, whimpering for something.

I didn’t think I’d have a dirty mouth with her but it turns out I do.

Turns out she loves it.

“I’m going to make you come,” I say. Breathless. Rough. “I’m going to make you come so fucking hard.”

I move one hand down to her waist and grip her while the other squeezes in between her hips and the mattress until I reach her clit. It’s soaked and my finger slides over it with ease.

That’s all it takes.

Her body tenses and then starts to quake beneath me. She pulses around my cock, her clit throbbing under my finger. A sharp cry leaves her lips, then fades off into breathless little moans.

I come immediately after. There’s a rush along my spine until something at the base of me explodes. I grunt like an animal, thrusting deeper and deeper, the bed shaking, while the cum shoots hard into her.

I exhale loudly, my breath elsewhere, my heart thudding to a marching beat inside my head. I lean back on my thighs, absently run my hands over her bottom while I remember how to breathe. Then, when it doesn’t feel like I’m having a heart attack, when the sweat stops rolling off my brow, I gently pull out.

Leaning forward, I put my lips to her ear. “Did you like that?”

She turns her head, her eyes closed and makes a noise that I think means yes.

I brush the hair off her face and kiss her cheek. Then place tiny, soft kisses on her neck, shoulder, down her spine, until I finally get off of her.

We take a few moments, lying next to each other, trying to bring our breath back into our bodies and calm our racing hearts. We might even fall asleep for a bit. The sun seems to have shifted.

“Guess it’s time to feed Conan,” Del says with a yawn, getting out of bed. I watch her walk completely naked, that fantastic ass on display, all the way to the cage. She doesn’t care if I’m watching. Hell, she probably wants me to watch.

She manages to get out the syringe and the baby food, then she glances at me over her shoulder. “On second thought, I should probably put on some clothes before I do this. Don’t want Conan to think any of this is weird.”

“He’ll get over it,” I tell her. “Stay naked.”

But she slips on one of my T-shirts she finds on the floor and somehow that’s even fucking sexier.

Something inside me flinches, just a bit. It’s suddenly scary how much I’m loving this, watching Del fish that damn fucking squirrel out of the cage, how easy all of this is. I’m not used to finding this kind of peace, this softness in my life and now it’s here and it’s all Delilah.

And what happens after this? What happens when I have to leave again tomorrow? What happens when I come back? Every time I head out there now, I feel like I’m coming back with missing pieces. I used to fight fires to banish the doubt, to make myself feel like I was someone and worth something. But ever since Roy died, I’m afraid that I’ll come back changed yet again.

“Are you okay?” Del asks softly when she’s done, putting Conan back in the cage. He’s so much bigger now that it nearly takes me by surprise. Another sign of time passing, life changing while I’m gone.

I give my head a shake and feel the pressure increasing inside my head again. I’m almost out of pills and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get anymore from my supplier. “I’m fine, I’m just…”

Suddenly she’s sitting beside me, hand on my knee. I should be quite aware that I’m naked and she’s not but I feel any sense of self-consciousness slip away.

“Talk to me,” she says. I find the courage to meet her eyes and I see the Del that’s always there, the one that cares, that wants to hear what I have to say, the one that never judges.

“It’s nothing.”

“Fox…it’s something. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me because I know when I pry you usually clam up, but I want to know. I need to. Talk to me.”

I take in a deep breath. “You know Roy Smith from Fernie?”

“The Roy from your team, Roy?”

“Yeah. He, uh, he died.”

“Oh my god,” she gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. “I’m so sorry, Fox. I know you talked about him all the time. How did he…?”

“A snag. A dead tree we had burned the day before. We were high up on the ridge and the fire had crossed the line. We all had to evacuate. We were scrambling, panicked, so fucking tired. You know that’s when you make the mistakes and Roy was struggling. Trying to pick up the chainsaw, deal with his helmet. I should have gone over to him right away, I should have helped him. I saw the tree coming down and I didn’t react in time, it was like a dream…”

“Fox, please. You know none of this was your fault.”

“If I had reacted when I should have, if I helped him, he would be alive.”

“But you would be dead.”

I shrug. “He has a wife. Two daughters. It’s better me than him.”

Silence fills the room. I glance at her warily and see her lips pressed together, a rare kind of anger in her eyes.

“Don’t you ever fucking say that,” she says, her voice hard. “Don’t you ever fucking say that Fox. Okay?”

I have to admit, I’m both flattered that she cares this much and surprised that she’s getting this worked up about it. “Okay.”

She sighs, running her hands over her face. “Fox, I know that what you do is terribly hard and it sets you up for things like this, but you need to…look, you once told me that I make this dark and sticky and terrible thing go away. You were drunk when you said it, but you said it. That’s not normal, Fox. What you feel, that’s not normal and I’m glad that I can bring you peace but I can’t be there all the time. I worry about you so much when you’re out there fighting fires. So much. And it’s not because I think a snag is going to take you out. It’s because…”

I try to swallow, my throat feels like I’ve got sawdust inside. “What?”

She rubs her lips together, eyes roaming the room, thinking. Finally, she says, “You’ve got a big heart. You don’t always show it, but it’s there. It goes above and beyond for the people you know and don’t know. It’s like you’re always trying to make up for something and that’s fine, we all are. We’re all feeling like we’re lacking something and we do whatever we can to fill that void. But with you…I worry, Fox. I worry you don’t care enough about yourself. And that one day, you will pay that price.”

Del is not wrong. But even so, her insight surprises me. Most of all, I don’t want her to be right.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tell her as firmly as I can. “You’re just making shit up on the spot.”

“Fine,” she snaps, getting up. “I’m making coffee.”

And at that, she quickly leaves the room and goes down the hall.

Fuck.

I just fucked up a nice little moment, didn’t I?

I shouldn’t punish her for being observant. It’s not her fault she knows me this well.

I get up, slip on a pair of boxer briefs and follow her.

She’s standing in the kitchen, the light illuminating her hair, making her look like an angel in just my T-shirt. It’s both the most heart-warming and sexiest sight I’ve ever seen and for a moment it hurts somewhere deep inside of me that I wasn’t having this side of her sooner.

As she scoops coffee into the filter, not turning around, I come up behind her and wrap my arms across her chest, hugging her, my chin nuzzled into the smooth crook of her neck. She smells like soap and lilacs and summer mornings.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, holding her close to me. “I didn’t mean that.”

She pauses with the coffee, sets the scoop down on the counter. “What?”

“What I said. That you didn’t know what you’re talking about. You do know, Del, you always have. Better than anyone. I guess…” I take in a deep breath. “I guess I just don’t like to hear the truth sometimes. Not from someone I care about.”

She sighs, relaxing into me and I place my lips on her shoulder, slowly leaving kisses along her skin. I lift up her hair and run my lips up her neck, sucking just behind her ear until she moans audibly.

The sweetest fucking sound.

“I don’t want to leave tonight,” I tell her, turning her around until she’s staring up at me. I cup her face in both my hands. “I don’t want to leave at all. Not so soon, not after all of this. I feel like I’m not getting enough time with you, all I want is days like this with you over and over again.”

“Me too,” she whispers.

I kiss her, taking her bottom lip in between my teeth and tugging, and then push the coffee maker aside, spilling the grounds everywhere.

I don’t give a fuck. I put my hands at her waist and lift her up until she’s sitting on top of the counter, her legs open and on either side of me.

I hunch over, sliding my hands slowly up the soft smooth skin of her inner thighs, pushing up her T-shirt until it’s around her waist and she’s all bare and exposed, just for me.

My head sinks between her legs, licking up the soft sides of her thighs, tasting her, tasting our sex from earlier.

I honestly can’t get enough of this.

Enough of her.

What are you doing? A voice flits through my head.

But I ignore it.

I’m lost to her again and there’s no place I’d rather be.