Gus had her finger in her mouth tasting John for the first time, and she didn’t know what came over her. She was not this brave, not with a partner, anyway. She explored with toys and masturbatory aids, but none of her few partners had ever wanted to go beyond hop on, get off, and go to sleep. Her knowledge seemed to attract men who needed her to take charge, help them reach orgasm, and then suffer in silence as they snored away.
Not a single partner she ever had cared about her fulfillment, her pleasure. Nor had she felt comfortable enough with any of them to ask for or take what she wanted. Up until five minutes ago, her only orgasms had been at her own hand. But John had made it his mission to wring pleasure from her before seeking his own fulfillment. I wonder if he knows that, if he understands the importance of what just happened? Not the sucking his semen off my fingers part, but the making me scream part.
Gus’ actual sex life had been very unsatisfying. While she helped others in that arena, she couldn’t seem to help herself. Not for lack of wanting to, she just was never bold enough to put her thoughts into actions. With John, it just felt different. He took charge, was in control, freeing her to explore.
Making her feel cherished didn’t hurt. When she observed the pleasure he took from her, she suddenly felt desirable, strong…sure. Sure enough to reach down and massage his cum into her skin and lick it from her fingers and savor it, all while staring him boldly in the eyes.
And boy, was she glad she had. When John told her to see him as he had seen her, she was confused. Baffled. Having seen other men come, she didn’t understand the significance of it or the sheer power it possessed when witnessed through a haze of mutual pleasure.
Pride. She had caught a look of wonder and pride in John’s denim eyes as he watched her in the throes of passion. She didn’t comprehend the weight of it until she saw him in that same state and understood that it was something about her that brought him to that point.
She swelled with pride, and her confidence soared. With this man, she could ask for what she wanted; she could take it. He would allow her to take it and grant her requests as he saw fit, and that was a beautiful thing—one she never knew she craved until now. One that will devastate me if he takes it away.
That last thought that crept into her head breeched the cloak of pleasure she was wrapped in, froze her soul, and robbed her of her breath. John was saying all the right things and looking at her like she was essential to his future, but this was sex. No matter the name she called it, it was sex, and people said and did things during sexual encounters they didn’t mean or expect.
“Where are you, Augusta?” John’s voice reached into her overthinking bubble and captured her attention. Thank God, because I was spiraling and ruining this. If she only got one night, she was dang sure not going to waste it. She could deal with the disappointment and depression tomorrow. Tonight, she still wanted to make love to the body of the man who held her heart.
“I’m right here with you. I just took a little side trip, but I’m back now.” Dang it, why did I admit that? Something about this visceral moment made her want to be completely honest. Or maybe it was his authoritative tone. Phrased as a question or not, it was a demand for her to tell him.
“Hmm, then I’m not doing a very good job if your mind had time to wander. I want you focused on me, on us…on this.” He took her jaw in his hand—a hand that smelled like her and him combined—commanding her attention and compliance. “I demand it, understood?” Her voice fled and her empty pussy clenched. She nodded. “Good girl, now, roll over and present that juicy ass to me as if I own it…because tonight, I do.”
John helped her on to all fours, piled pillows under her belly to relieve the weight, and hinged her legs so it felt like a stress-free position. She folded her arms and rested her head on her forearms, making a mental note to remember this position for labor.
This was pretty much the only choice for now, her stomach was so large that it was either this or big spoon-little spoon, and she wasn’t sure she could bend at the hips enough to be little spoon.
Gus had never felt comfortable with her lady bits up in the air like this before. Of course, she had only tried it once and hated it. Her boyfriend had made it seem dirty, and not in the good way. It also did nothing for her; she found even less pleasure than missionary. It had been uncomfortable and awkward.
She remembered just closing her eyes and breathing through it while Mickey went to town behind her, talking about how much tighter she felt like this and how he might actually be able to feel enough to enjoy himself. Asshole. It wasn’t like he didn’t get off every time anyway or that it was her fault. The reason he couldn’t “feel anything” was probably the fact that when I gave him head, my fingers overlapped, and I didn’t even gag.
Mickey was an insecure jerk who tore her down every chance he got to compensate for his short comings. He had been her first, the one her parents had picked out for her. Bright future and good stock. Yep, those were the selling points her parents valued. It didn’t matter that he told her after the first time they slept together that she would stay at home, look pretty, breed him good progeny, and he would take a mistress to see to his pleasure since she couldn’t handle it.
Timothy and Melody Thorne just tsked and said that’s how things were in society when she told them—like it was medieval times or something and they weren’t the people who gave her life. Her mother scolded her for speaking of such things, actually scolded her. She said it was just the life Gus was born to and it was how things were done, but if she were discrete enough, she could find her own…distractions.
“Oh fuck,” Gus shouted. Yep, she dropped an F-bomb when John unceremoniously buried himself to the hilt and stopped completely. He held still, like a statue…a statue with a thick cock buried in her practically to her throat, stretching her to a width she had never even imagined. Yes, a hard…potentially pissed off statue. The only sound after her curse cut through the night was heavy breathing coming from behind.
Gus held her breath, even after her body had adjusted. She was waiting for the other shoe or an explanation or…punishment. For what, she didn’t know, but she knew he was not a happy man. Even buried in her and connecting with her like no one else had, he was distanced somehow.
She wanted to ask, but something told her that would be a transgression. Without warning, just like he connected them, he disconnected. This time, she kept the “oh fuck” to herself. The sudden invasion didn’t hurt, she was wetter than she had ever been in her life—it had been a shock, yes, but no pain. However, his withdrawal did come with pain. And Gus felt it much deeper than physical.
John covered her back, bringing his mouth to her ear and resting his cock, coated in her juices, between her ass cheeks. She felt his heart beat between her shoulder blades and with her ass. It was racing, as was hers.
“While I won’t paddle your ass in your condition, make no mistake, I will punish you.” He nipped her ear. Between his authority and his actions, Gus almost spiraled into an orgasm without having her fun zones touched. John groped her breast, eliciting a squeal of surprise. That hand slid over and around her belly to grab her pussy. He thrust one finger in and right back out.
He presented her that finger with the command, “Suck.” She eagerly complied. “Do you want my dick in any of the places my finger has been?” He posed the question with a thrust between her rounded globes and his teeth latching on to her ear.
She nodded as deeply as she could with the hold John had on her ear and mouth. Gus had never thought of herself as a woman who liked this rough, almost abusive style of control. She didn’t find it offensive or abusive at all. Not from John.
“Good, because I want that too...and more. I want my cock pistoning in and out of that sweet pussy until I push you over the edge. Then, as soon as you can breathe again, I want it buried in your throat. Watching your neck ripple as you swallow and swallow just to take me all the way down will bring me to the razor-thin edge. And when you look up at me, eyes wide with pleasure, and perhaps the slightest touch of trepidation, I'll come down your throat, and you'll thank me for allowing you the pleasure.”
John raised himself back up behind her, and she was too turned on to even wonder what he was doing or what he would say next. But she didn’t need to wonder, because she felt the head of his cock knocking at her back door for entrance. She tensed; this was completely uncharted territory for her. She had read books on the finer points of anal—push out while he pushes in, lots and lots of lube, which they didn’t have. She raised her head to protest, and John gently pushed it back down.
“No, Augusta. I do not plan to take you there tonight, so relax.” Breathing a sigh of relief, and maybe a touch of disappointment, Gus shook her ass, hoping to encourage him back into her aching pussy. His words and authority had her turned on beyond her limits. When she was just about to beg him to fuck her, John rubbed the slick head against her clit.
Back and forth, back and forth. Just fast enough to create a delicious friction but just slow enough to keep her from soaring. “As I was saying, if, you want my cock where my fingers have been, including this greedy pussy of yours, you will not,” he punctuated with a hard thrust against her, “Be. Anywhere. But. Here. Focused. On. This!”
His voice rose with each word until he was practically shouting. Each thrust against her was harder than the one before. And of course, she was wetter.
“Understood?”
“Yes.” That was all she got to say. The apology poised on her lips died there as he thrust back into her. This time, he didn’t still, he didn’t slow down, and he didn’t speak. He just fucked her senseless like he said he would.
When she felt herself approaching something big, bigger even than the orgasm John had already given her, she began to whimper uncontrollably. Tears leaked from her eyes, and her body hummed in anticipation. And just when she thought she couldn’t take another minute, light burst behind her eyes and she was rocketing into the sky, then hurtling toward the ground. Every nerve ending she possessed was rapid-firing and the pleasure center of her brain overloaded.
Gus couldn’t swear to it, but it felt like she lost consciousness for a moment, as if she were disconnected from the Earth, from her very body, but she could still feel the overwhelming sensations so she couldn’t explain it even to herself. She became aware of being back in her own body. She heard John shout her name, and he stiffened behind her, grinding and grinding until he stilled completely, and she felt a warmth come from him.
John pulled from her body, and she shivered at the loss of heat. As he laid on the bed next to her, he reached around and pushed the pillows aside, bringing her to lay against him. Gus felt cherished with John at her back and his arms wrapped around her. His hand moved from cupping her breast to caressing her protruding belly.
He stilled.
He kissed the back of her head and got out of bed. After returning, he sat by her belly and gently pushed her to her back. “Let me clean you up.” Gus complied lazily. The warm cloth cleaned her torso first, her lady bits next.
John disappeared again. Gus didn’t hear him return, but she had the feeling someone was watching her. When she cracked her eyes open, John was standing at the foot of the bed devouring her with his eyes, but unlike last time he looked at her, this time, the overwhelming feeling coming from him was pain.
Feeling particularly exposed, Gus leaned up and groped for the covers. She brought them in front of her like a shield, a way to stop his pain—pain that was obviously caused by her somehow. “John? I can see something is hurting you. I have a feeling it is the same thing that has stood between us for months now. Are you finally ready to talk about it?” He didn’t answer her, just continued to stare as if she hadn’t spoken or even covered her body with the tangled sheet.
Snapping her fingers to get his attention didn’t work, he just stared. Gus got up, tucking the sheet around her. When she stood in front of him, she grabbed his cheeks in her hands. “John?” He finally shook off whatever was holding him. “Now who is somewhere else? Or some time else? After what we shared here tonight, do you think you can find it in your heart to share where or when you were just now? Why this pregnancy is freaking you out more than it should?”
When his hands covered hers and he looked into her eyes, she almost wept. The depth of pain and loss swimming in them broke her heart.
John slid her hands from his cheeks and kissed them, letting his lips linger. His eyes flickered closed. A deep inhale preceded his scratchy voice, “I think I owe you that much, but can we get dressed first? I can’t focus on anything but your body if we stay naked.”
Augusta agreed, and he donned his discarded clothing. Augusta just enjoyed the play of his muscles. She memorized the dusting of hair that coated his chest, and the freckles that rested atop his shoulders…the way his hips dimpled as he bent, and the way his cock rested against his leg as he sat to pull on his pants.
She noted all these things in great detail because she had the sinking feeling this could be the last time she got to appreciate them. It all depended on the secrets he would share, and she wouldn’t know until she was dressed.
As she stepped into her closet, she dropped the sheet and tossed a shapeless giant T-shirt over her head. She rummaged through the basket of clean clothes that needed to be put away and found some cut-off sweats. She looked at herself in the mirror that hung on the back of the door. She looked frumpy and felt even worse.
It was stark opposition to the way she felt mere moments ago. John made her feel like the most beautiful creature in the world, not just some frumpy pregnant lady. She sighed a sad memorial to that lady and stiffened her spine. Everything was up to John at this point, and nothing she did or didn’t do could change whatever he was going through or how he had to deal with it.
“No worries, Augusta. Tonight was magical, no matter what happens from this moment on. No one can take that from you. You are stronger than your past and so is John,” she told herself in the mirror. Then she heard her own voice speaking in her head, a sad version of her. But are you stronger than his?