“Oh, my God, that feels amazing.” Gus groaned with appreciation as Marco rubbed her lower back with a tennis ball. At first, it felt weird—squatting on the floor leaned against a giant exercise ball and having a couple of men fawn all over her—but she was starting to accept the strange as her new normal.
Jan was snapping pics for the baby’s book, and Andy and Marco were enjoying every minute of it. But there was a bit of guilt there for having woken everyone up. Although the guilt was lessening with every twist of the tennis ball.
“I’m sorry Jan panicked over Braxton-Hicks and ran next door like a crazy woman.”
“Hush your mouth.”
“Shut it, sis.”
Marco and Jan spoke at the same time. Andy cleared his throat and spoke next, “Nonsense, we’re happy Jan alerted us. We want to be a part of every moment you are comfortable with. You know that, right?”
Andy, ever the diplomatic one. Even in the face of this. He tried so hard to give her space he thought she wanted, even missing some key moments. He had no problem inserting himself in every other aspect of her life, but for some reason, he kept his distance where his child was concerned. Gus could tell he wanted more, but he had some inexplicable fear he would upset her and that would be bad for the baby.
“I know that, Andy, but do you? Let me be perfectly clear.” She leaned up from the ball just enough to consider his handsome and worried face. “There is no overstepping in this situation. This is your child, your pregnancy. Think of me as an incubator. Okay?”
Gus experienced that tingly sensation she always got when someone was completely emotionally open and real. Andy finally gets it. His face split with an enormous smile, and he dropped to the floor in front of her. After staring in her eyes and apparently finding what he needed to see, he grabbed her face in his tanned hands and kissed her full on the lips.
When he pulled back, he didn’t let go of her face, he just started as if he could see her soul and read her life story written there. “I love you, Pixie. John is an idiot for not recognizing how utterly unique you are, and he doesn’t deserve to bask in your presence if he can’t appreciate that by now.”
Wow, the most romantic thing anyone ever said to me, and it was said by a man in love with someone else.
“Thank you. It means the world to me to hear you say it.” And it truly did. It made her understand her situation with John even more. She was already salty with him since he didn’t bother to text when he landed. She heard from Erika and Walker the minute they got back. Just as she feared, they had shared too much, and John was running.
Well, I am done chasing a man. If he wants me, he better lace up his shoes instead. Yes, darn it, I am unique and amazing, and I would make a great partner, and any man would be freaking lucky to have me, she told herself, or at least she thought she did, until tennis balls stopped and everyone in the room applauded.
“Yesssss, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Apparently, it doesn’t mean anything until you hear it in a lower register,” Jan snarked, but her eyes were glowing with love not sarcasm.
“Well, in that case, sis, your phone just dinged and you got a late-night text from the man himself.” Jan passed Gus her phone, and she read the message. Yep, running at top speed.
“I can admit to y’all that I love him. I know it’s ridiculous to say that when we haven’t even dated, but I was half in love with him when he helped me save Skynyrd. I fell the rest of the way slowly, between then and the time we announced this little miracle. Buuut, I am not going to sit around and wait. I can’t make someone love me or even look into their own heart. So, I am officially putting myself out there. Not that anyone will want to date a pregnant lady, but still, I can compartmentalize the love I have for him and understand what I need and want out of life, and the two things do not have to be a package deal.”
Not that she could fall for anyone else, but she didn’t have to be alone. Gus let her mind wander and explore all the possibilities when Andy interrupted her thoughts.
“If you are serious about putting yourself out there, I know someone who is dying to take you out. Has been since before he even knew you were pregnant. And he hasn’t stopped asking about you now that he knows.”
The twinkle in Andy’s eye bordered on sinful. Gus couldn’t decide his intent. “Really? And what is wrong with him that he needs to go out with a pregnant woman.”
“Nothing is wrong with him, and why do you think pregnant women are unattractive to men?” Andy inquired with a superior attitude.
Marco joked, “Of course, pregnant women are attractive to straight men, they know they put out.” His booming laughter filled the room.
“Ohhh.” Gus was trying to get up and act upset, but she was laughing too hard, and she was too pregnant. She settled back onto the ball. “More rubbing and less talking back there.”
Jan plopped onto the floor next to the ball, and they both stared at Andy. “Okay, tell us about this guy who is in lust with my sister?”
Both Andy and Gus turned to Jan with an, “Ew.”
“Well, it’s Jesse,” Andy said matter-of-factly.
“Who is Jesse?” Jan asked at the same time Marco added, “Ooooo, Jesse.”
The latter earned a stern look from Andy. “Calm down, cariño, it’s just an observation. We are married, not dead, remember?” Their exchange wasn’t heated, despite their words. Andy wasn’t mad, and Marco wasn’t defensive. Their relationship was a goal she wished she could achieve in her lifetime. A goal she wished for everyone in her life she cared about…but especially me.
“You mean clerk Jesse?”
“Yes. He asked me the first time he saw you if you were involved with anyone. Then he was devastated when he next saw you and it seemed obvious you were. When I explained the situation, he practically beamed and asked if Marco or I would be offended if he asked you out. He’s a good guy; I happen to be an excellent judge of character.” Typical Andy.
“Really? He has never acted like he wanted to go out with me, but then again, my flirt game is weak—”
“Details woman, details,” Jan interrupted.
Marco beat Gus to the draw. “Five-ten, five-eleven. Dark blonde hair, cropped short, very professional. Soft brown eyes that give you warm fuzzies. Hard, angular features. I mean, you could damn near cut your fingers caressing that jawline through the perfectly groomed stubble. Which, by the way, has hints of red in the right shade, making me think he is an undercover ginger. And that voice, girl, it is liquid sin with a hint of fiery whiskey. The body of…”
Marco fell silent. Gus turned around and saw why. Andy was kissing him senseless. When he pulled away, Marco was breathless. “Enough now, love, or I’ll have to punish you when we get home,” Andy spoke low, for Marco only, but Gus had bat hearing and almost orgasmed from the heat they shared. Marco looked at Andy like he was the most delicious dessert on the planet, and Andy looked like he was about to bend Marco over the couch and punish him…with his dick.
Gus managed to get to her feet with a hand from her sister while Marco and Andy seemed frozen in time.
“Wow, sis, I don’t know about you, but I want to go out with Jesse if that is what he can do for those two.”
“No kidding.” After a few more moments of voyeurism, and Gus snapped herself out of it. “Do you have his number? Earth to Andy. Number?”
Finally, the spell was broken.
Thank God. I’m already going to have to break out the wand and some fresh Cs.
When Andy stood, he was perfectly composed, like he wasn’t just making out with his husband like it was prom night. “Of course. And for the record, you could do a lot worse. I’m telling you, he’s a good person. Steady income, even temper, loves his mother,” Andy said absentmindedly as he added the contact information to Gus’ phone.
“Loves his…did you investigate him?”
“I prefer to think of it as getting to know people who have a place in my work life and contact with those I care about. Besides, that was nothing I didn’t already know. Don’t flatter yourself, I had him vetted when I became professionally acquainted with him, not because he wants to go out with you.”
His words said one thing, but the wink and the hand to her chin said another.
Andy was good people. She would go out with Jesse and maybe, just maybe, something more than companionship could come of it with time. Gus just prayed she didn’t hurt someone Andy thought of as a great guy who loved his mother. She positioned herself on the couch, finally comfortable for the first time since her false labor started without someone rubbing her back. Going out with a great guy who wasn’t John wouldn’t be so bad, would it?
Gus didn’t remember going to bed, nor falling asleep. The last thing she remembered was deciding to date. Really doing it, not just in theory. Now the smell of french toast was teasing her, beckoning her. Come, come to the kitchen, it said. Now, while I’m still fluffy and warm and cinnamony.
A giggle bubbled up from her stomach, because that was the happy part of her right now at the thought of breakfast. She slipped her swollen feet into her fuzzy slippers. Gus imagined the smell of the french toast as a giant steam finger tapping her on the shoulder and teasing her nose. If she were a cartoon, she would float down the hall weightless, following the visible smell leading her to the food by her nostrils.
“Wow, someone is in a fine mood this morning,” a lyrical, motherly voice greeted her.
There, with a frying pan in hand transferring fluffy squares of yumminess to a plate, stood Francis Reid. A ruffled apron proclaiming, “when life gives you lemons, put a slice in your sweet tea,” protected her elegant pant suit.
Seems fitting. I have found myself with a big ole bag of lemons. Instead of grousing about it for another darn minute, I am just going to find a use for them. And I am starting right now, before I chicken out. Francis moved the pan to the side, and Gus took the moment to lean in and kiss her on the cheek with a silent good morning. Then, before she changed her mind, she started tapping on her phone and hit send.
That’s when she panicked. Crap, what did I just do? Did I really just ask a guy out with a text? Before she could dwell on it longer, she noticed a commotion at the table. It was full of friends and family. Pretty much everyone was there…except John.
When they noticed her in the room, they all scrambled to make room for her.
“Go sit down with the family, love, and I’ll bring you a special plate. I made your french toast without all the crap you don’t like. Gluten or soy or whatever it is, anyway, go sit and tell me how my grand baby is doing.”
With Erika’s egg, she was the biological grandma, but Andy and Marco made it clear that they were all family with a special place in their child’s life, regardless of blood. So, in a way, Francis had even more connection to the baby, since she de facto adopted them all.
“Butterbean is just fine. Growing like a weed and Riverdancing like an expert, as if trained by Flatley himself.” Francis brought her plate to the table and leaned down to set it in front of her.
“You mean clogging; this is the south, dear.” An uproar of laughter filled the room and gave Gus a sense of happy family. Looking over at Jan seated by Tori, it warmed her heart to see that her sister was feeling the same.
Breakfast was amazing, and Francis told the story of her name. It was a heartwarming tale, but Tori and Walker groaned how they had heard it a million times. “Mom only brings that story out when she thinks someone needs guidance. It’s not me this time, thank fuck, but it’s obviously directed at someone,” Walker spoke as he looked around the table trying to identify the needy individual. Gus was sure it wasn’t her because it didn’t really apply. However, she had been so wrapped up in her own life that she believed it could have been any of her friends. She made a mental note to chat with each one for a few minutes to see what they were going through that she might have missed.
After everyone was stuffed and the cleaning was done, they went their separate ways except Stacy and Francis. Francis folded her apron and put it on the counter and gathered her purse. She reached up and gave Stacy a pat on the cheek and a loving look. It was a touching and comical sight. Francis in her heels and Stacy in hers, but even so, Francis was the only person, even in heels, who had to look up at Stacy.
When Francis was done with Stacy, she turned her attention to Gus. While rubbing Gus’ belly, she spoke to the baby then grabbed Gus in a bear hug. Still shocks me every time how fierce this lady hugs.
“I left my apron. I made it for you, anyway, but I thought I could give it a try first. And just so you know, lemons do go great in sweet tea or in custard. You can do a great many thing with them while you are waiting on all the ingredients to make lemonade.” Gus could have sworn she mumbled something to the effect of, “Or until that moron pulls his head out of his ass, bless his heart.”
After the hug, Francis ran her hands down her suit and straightened her jacket and headed out the door. Right before it shut, she turned with a sparkle in her eye. “Did you know that even in Scrabble, Is are fewer than Es? That doesn’t mean that Es don’t have their use too. You need them to spell a great many words, but there are sometimes only an I will do. So, you play other words with the tiles you have while you wait.”
Gus was so lost, even a GPS couldn’t help her find her way. She knew the E and I thing had to do with her name, but that was it. Francis rarely spoke about nonsensical things, so Gus figured there was some convoluted message in there somewhere. But without someone out and out telling her, she would never know.
“What the fuck was that about?” Stacy blurted as soon as the door closed.”
“I don’t know, but you have to stop laughing, my stomach is cramping.
“Scrabble. Es and Is? I think Francis is finally losing it. She done lost her marbles, bless her heart,” Stacy imitated Francis, and they laughed some more.
Gus didn’t want to bring them down, but she loved Stacy like a sister, and since she was actually John’s sister, Gus needed to tell her that she was planning to go out with other people.
“Stacy—” Gus began but was interrupted by her best friend.
“Do you think Francis was talking about you and John somehow, in her weird southern way? You know she is like Dax in that she kind of reads people in a way not even I can.” She paused for a thoughtful moment. “I mean, there was the whole apron thing. Use your lemons for something else while you wait for lemonade…John. Then the Es and playing other words could be you moving on and John could be the I that you are passing turns waiting on.”
“That seems like a stretch, even for Francis.” But now that Stacy put it that way, it was like a weird, twisted thing Francis would say if that’s what she meant. She never spoke plainly unless it was a “Come to Jesus” talk. Most times, she talked like she wanted the intended person to have to think long and hard to get it so they put their issues into perspective. Strange method but generally effective. She wasn’t ready to dig into it just yet, so she brushed it off.
“Yeah.” That was all Stacy said for bit. “However, even if that was not her meaning, it is mine.”
You could’ve knocked Gus over with a look, she was so stunned. Is Stacy saying what I think?
“I’ve given it a lot of thought since we last talked about John, and I think you should get out there. Seriously. I know I said it earlier and all, but I mean, for real. I love my brother, and I know he cares for you, but I also know that he must come to the realization that he might want to try on his own and in his own time. And until he deals with some of his own issues, he isn’t going to do that.”
“I know. I pretty much had that epiphany, too.”
“I also know that if he thinks you are too wrapped up in him, he will either push hard the other way or, come to you without dealing with that crap out of some twisted sense of honor.”
Gus snuggled into her friend’s arm. “I know that, too. Which is why I asked a guy out.”
The soft stroking of her arm ceased. “Seriously, Pixie, you fucking asked a guy out? For real?” Gus nodded. “Oh, my fucking God, I am so proud of you. So, who is it, where, when?” As if summoned by their words, Gus’ phone rang, and it was Jesse.
“I’ll tell you in a minute.”
Gus could hardly keep a straight face while talking on the phone with all the faces and lewd gestures Stacy was making. She had barely hung up when Stacy started dancing around the living room and singing, “My girl is getting laid. My girl is getting laid. She gonna suck some dick, she—”
“Oh, my God, Stacy, enough already. What are you, twelve? It’s just a movie and dinner. I don’t plan on jumping into bed with anyone anytime soon, especially not on a first date.”
“You mean especially not John, don’t you?” Gus didn’t answer, she didn’t need to. Stacy stopped singing, dancing, and her attitude went from amused to serious immediately. “I know how much you care about him, but you can’t wait for him to pull his head out of his ass, either.”
That was the second time she heard it today. Now she was positive that’s what Francis had said, too.
Stacy hugged her, and then let her go. “Just promise me you’ll give this guy, or any other who might float your boat, a chance. I’m not telling you to give up on John, I believe he will come around and realize what he could have had and come running to you like your snatch is lined in gold. But he can only realize what he lost when it’s not sitting here waiting for him, and hey, if he never does, who knows, this whatshisname could be the one.”
“Jesse. Whatshisname is Jesse.”
“As in legal clerk Jesse? Woohoo, girl you are in for the ride of your life, or so I heard. Julie from the probate office went out with him last year after the Christmas party. Everyone was lit, and it was a onetime thing, but the bitch hasn’t shut up about it since. His dick is legend around the courthouse. Carl, who plays on baseball with him, says it’s at least eight inches and not pencil thin either but a nice girthy cock.”
“Stacy, ew. Why are you waxing poetic about another man’s penis, anyway? You’re usually going on and on about Dax’s.”
“No one compares to my Dax, I’m just sharing all the information I have with my girl.”
“Yeah, well, thanks to your…description, I doubt I could look at it, even if I wanted to.”
“Whatever, pull that stick out of your ass and live a little. For someone who helps men with all sorts of problems including,” she air quoted, “‘penis’ problems, you are kind of a prude sometimes.”
Ouch.
That stung coming from Stacy. Maybe because it was true. Her experience in the bedroom with partners was limited, but she knew more about human sexuality than darn near everyone. She was comfortable with her own body, her own nudity…when she wasn’t pregnant, anyway. She explored plenty…solo, she just never had a partner who looked at her body like a new land to be explored and discovered. No one ever tested her limits to see what would provide the most fulfilling experience for her.
Also, some things are not as easy to unlearn as others. Gus was raised not to openly talk crudely about sex. While she had no shame when it was under the umbrella of healing, she found it was harder for her to just joke about it the way Stacy did.
“I’m sorry, Pixie, I didn’t mean that as an insult, just that you need to lighten up, especially with me. If you can’t let your hair down with me, then who can you let it down with? You need to be free, like you are in every other area of your life. Trust me, restraining who you are because someone taught you that’s how ladies act is bullshit.” Stacy knew exactly where she was coming from. Other than Jan, she was the one person who knew the most about how she was raised.
“When John does come around, don’t send him packing because you are afraid to ask for what you want. Because if you do, especially after dating or not pursuing him for a while, he will convince himself it’s because you doubt what you want from him.”