CHAPTER SEVEN

HAZEL

"Johnny?"

"Hey. Where've you been?" he asked as casually as if I had come home late from work. 

"Out to lunch with my mom," I replied flatly. 

He made a disapproving face. "I'm sorry to hear that." 

I bristled in annoyance. Sure, I walked out of lunch because I had an awful time. Sure, Dahlia and I were just ragging on her this morning. But Dahlia was family. 

Johnny chose not to become part of my family the moment he stuck his dick in his coworker. He had no right to talk shit about my mom nor show up on my doorstep unannounced. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked. 

His expression changed to one of sorrow and remorse. Whether it was genuine or not, I couldn't be sure. 

"I was hoping we could talk," he said softly. "I want to see if we can fix things." 

"We?" I repeated incredulously. "The only one who needs to fix things is you, Johnny!" 

After dealing with my mom, I was not in the mood for dodging between truth and bullshit right then. 

He merely nodded, rather than deflecting blame like I expected him to. 

"You're absolutely right. I deserve every bit of pain that I inflicted onto you. I'm so sorry, Hazel." His voice cracked. "More sorry than I can even express."  

I softened just the tiniest bit. After dating him for three years, it was unheard of to hear him admit any wrongdoing. A sincere apology was completely out of character. 

"Why did you do it?" I demanded, my own voice quivering with emotion. "If I wasn't good enough for you, if you weren't happy, why didn't you just break up with me?" 

"It had nothing to do with you, Hazel." He stood up from the porch and approached me carefully like he would a wild animal. "And everything to do with me. I was stupid. I was selfish. I was a complete fucking idiot." He reached out to me cautiously, cradling my elbows in his fingertips. "But I'm an idiot that's still in love with you and doesn't want to lose you." 

As Johnny poured out his tender, self-sacrificing confession, my mind flashed with images of Liam. It was like a highlight reel replaying every heart-stopping moment from last night. 

When I first heard his voice. When he kissed me in his house. When he led me to the bedroom and felt how wet I was for him and only him. When he filled me so deeply I thought I would tear apart. And when he wrapped me in his arms and said goodnight before falling asleep. 

Should I tell Johnny? I wondered. Our break up was still so fresh and seeing him show up out of nowhere had me reeling with all kinds of emotions. 

Of course, I still had feelings for Johnny. I was ready to marry him until two days ago. But he hurt me where it hurt the most. I didn't know if I could ever forgive or trust him again. 

And yet I still felt that hollow, greedy ache deep in my pussy for Liam. I never craved and yearned for sex with Johnny in that way. Standing there in front of him, thinking of another man's cock inside me while he poured out his apology filled me with more guilt and shame. Almost like I had cheated on him. 

But it wasn't the same situation, not in the slightest. We were already broken up, obviously. 

Still, I couldn't help feeling empowered. Like I got my revenge in some way. I got someone else to fuck me, too. Someone bigger, sexier and much better at pleasing me.

"So what do you say, honey?" Johnny pleaded, jarring me out of my Liam-infused daydream. "Can we give it another shot?" 

"Look, Johnny. I dunno," I replied, rubbing my temple. "I need time to think and--" 

"Hey! Why don't we take a nice walk downtown?" he suddenly suggested, cutting me off. "You never did show me your hometown like you promised." 

I sighed. "Now's not a really good ti--"

"Aw come on, Haze!" he pleaded, squeezing my hands in his. "I made the trip all the way out here just for you." 

Yeah, in your cushy, self-driving Tesla that I helped you pay for.

"Fine," I said, knowing it would be easier to do what he wanted than argue. "Let's walk." 

I led him down Main Street, shrugging him off whenever he attempted to hold my hand. I wasn't completely opposed to the idea of getting back with him, but all the same, I didn't want to make a rash decision. 

My mom's words echoed in my head as I pointed out all the local shops and businesses to Johnny. He won't be willing to marry you. No one will. 

Was she right? If I truly, sincerely wanted marriage deep in my heart of hearts, would I have to settle for Johnny? Was it worth it to be married when I wondered every day if he was going to cheat on me again? 

"Let's go in here!" 

Johnny pulled me into some place called All About That Bass. It was a dimly lit bar with thumping bass music and UV lights making everything give off a strange glow. At first glance, I knew this place was too trendy and wacky to survive in Cloverville. 

But it appealed to Johnny's taste perfectly. 

"Let's get some drinks!" he said excitedly. 

"No, thanks!" I yelled over the loud bass music but Johnny already ordered something from a passing waiter. He brought us out two martini glasses and swiftly floated away again. 

I took one tentative sip before pushing the drink away with disgust. It tasted like pure vodka and burned its way painfully down to my stomach. 

Johnny flagged another waiter down and yelled something in his ear. The waiter nodded and produced a small bottle from his jacket pocket. He upturned the bottle and emptied the liquid within into my drink. With a curt nod at me, he disappeared again. 

"It should taste better!" Johnny yelled across the table at me, gesturing for me to drink up. 

I took another tentative sip. It did taste sweeter and less like rubbing alcohol. 

Every few minutes, Johnny kept yelling at me to drink as he downed glass after glass of whatever he had. I took tiny sips to appease him but he kept telling me to drink more. 

I couldn't begin to guess how long we sat in there. I asked for water several times but it never came. Johnny ranted about various topics, though I couldn't hear him half the time over the music. 

I didn't feel well. My instincts told me I was shitfaced drunk but no way had I had enough to drink to justify that. Was it the atmosphere of the place? The sweetener they gave to supposedly dilute my drinks? All I knew was I felt funny and couldn't place why. 

At some point, Johnny was rambling about work just as the club was silent between songs. 

"...And then Shelly doesn't get back until next Wednesday, so I gotta--"

"Wait, what?" I demanded just as the music picked up again. "You're still working with her?"

He looked at me like I was the biggest fucking idiot to walk the earth. "Well yes, dear. We're partners on the same project together, remember?" 

My jaw dropped as my fists shook with rage in my lap. 

"You didn't think I would take issue with you remaining partners with the bitch you fucked behind my back?" My voice was well over the music now, unleashed and angry. 

"There's nothing I can do about it, Hazel," Johnny replied with condescending calm. 

That was it. 

Any sliver of hope I had for our relationship was shattered. All belief in his crocodile tearful apology went up in smoke. 

I couldn't even find any words to say. I got up to leave. 

The moment I stood, my legs crumpled underneath me. 

Fear stole the breath from my chest as I clung to the walls, desperate to stand. What kind of place was this? What did he do to me?

Rough hands grabbed under my armpits and yanked me up, dragging me across the floor. 

"No, no no!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. 

I looked up to see Johnny, calm and sober as ever, half-dragging, half-carrying me somewhere. 

And then suddenly, streetlights and cool air. We were out of that insane, awful place but Johnny still held a rough grip on my arm and was dragging me to somewhere unknown. 

"Let me go!" I cried, dragging my feet and screaming as loud as I could. "Help! Somebody help me!" 

My vision swam. I couldn't see clearly. What must have been the streetlights were bright, yellow blobs floating in the air. Blue and red blobs blinked before my vision too, just before I lost the strength to keep fighting. 

"Thank fuck you're here," I heard Johnny's voice say. "She's crazy. I was bringing her right to you." 

"What's going on?" asked a gruff, deep voice that reverberated somewhere in my memory. 

"I dunno, man. She just had way too much to drink and started going apeshit." 

A pair of hands firmly took hold of my arms and stood me to my feet. They weren't nearly as rough as Johnny's but my survival instincts took over. 

"No!" 

I struggled with my last ounce of strength to get away, but the powerful arms attached to those hands pulled me in and subdued me. 

"Shhh," a voice in my ear soothed me. "You're okay. You're safe. Trust me."

That voice. Why did it sound so familiar? And why did a rush of liquid flood my panties right then? 

I tried to focus my eyes right before I passed out. And I saw a familiar darkness in the pair of blue irises that stared back.