Chapter 11

 Chris

My heart’s racing as I turn off Janelle’s street.

Who was that kid?

I was just ready to pull away when she opened the door and I saw the little guy run over to her. My brain went all over the map.

Was she babysitting? Well, of course not – I just ran into her at work. Maybe it’s her roommate’s? Doesn’t look like that big of an apartment. But then I saw the babysitter.

Nope. Definitely hers.

And he’s just about the right age too…

Could he be mine?

No way! I mean – I did cum in her, but she told me, she swore she’d take the morning-after pill! And as much as we may have our issues now, Janelle doesn’t strike me as a liar. I doubt she’d intentionally get knocked up just to extort me. And if she did, I’m sure I would have heard something by now.

She would have gone to the media or gotten in touch with my publicist or something – called my lawyers. Being the mother of my secret child would make it pretty easy to get ahold of me if she wanted money.

So there’s no way it can be mine.

I’m letting my mind run away with itself. It’s these last two years of dealing with my father’s death. Between football and all the things that go along with something like that, I just haven’t felt like myself. As a matter of fact, I’m not back in town for fun – I’m here to handle more of my dad’s estate. It turns out he left a house to me on the outskirts of town.

He’d mentioned owning some property back in the day, but never brought me there or spoke about it.

“It’s an insurance policy,” he’d tell me. “Paid off. If you ever run out of money and need something, you can sell it. Understand?”

Little did dad know I’d end up making more than he’d made in his entire life in one year – and then some. But still, I understood at the time, and I understand now. My dad was a practical man and I learned a lot from him.

And that’s where I am on my way to now. To this mysterious property out past the train tracks and in the woods by the water tower. One Maple Lane. That’s the address. And I have no idea what I’m going to find there.

I’d hoped to talk to Janelle and explain things to her. I know if I can just get the words out, get her to listen, that she’ll understand – maybe even forgive me. But she wouldn’t let me.

That asshole at the diner almost got his face smashed in. That’s the second time I’ve stepped in on her behalf, and I can’t help but wonder how many more douchebags have harassed her like that while I’ve been away. Just the thought makes my blood boil.

But she didn’t want to talk to me. I can’t say I blame her, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Seeing her again was like seeing her for the first time. She took my breath away. It was like rediscovering something I’d lost but had given up on ever finding again. These last two years have been a nightmare. Between football, my father’s death, traveling to Alaska to deal with things there, coming back to town to deal with his estate – it’s not like I haven’t thought about Janelle, it’s just that I had given up hope of anything happening between us.

But now that I’ve seen her again…

I’m about to turn left out of town when I remember: Janelle’s keys!

I hit the brakes and whip the car in the other direction and head back across town to the diner. Luckily for the asshole, he’s not there when I pull into the lot or he would have gotten a firsthand look at just how pissed I am.

I park by the storm drain and hop out of the car. Thankfully, the storm drain grate is removable and I don’t have to go looking for a coat hanger or something to fish out Janelle’s keys. I set it aside, slide my hand in and fish around in whatever filth has collected at the bottom. I find the keys, grab them and pull them out, my hand and the keys both covered in filth.

“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath, kicking the storm drain grate back into place and heading back to the diner. I shoulder the front door open and head straight for the bathroom to wash my hands. Some teenager recognizes me but has the good sense to see I’m not in the mood to sign autographs.

As I wash my hands and Janelle’s keys, my mind goes back to that little kid I saw at her apartment. I mean, he did kind of look like me. No, he really looked like me. But that doesn’t mean he’s mine…

I could just be completely paranoid. Every professional athlete gets worried about something like this, and I really should have been more careful and worn a condom or finished on her awesome tits or something, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I had to make her mine, and I did. But now? Now I don’t know where we stand.

I watch the grimy water circle the drain as I scrub the filth off my hands. Holding her keys in my hand somehow, as silly as it seems, makes me feel connected to her. The last two years I haven’t seen her. I haven’t had anything of hers to remind me of her.

When she was in my car – I smelled her.

That was almost too much. It took me right back to that night at my house and all those feelings came rushing back to me. It felt…it felt like even though I hadn’t seen her in two years we were still connected. It was Chris and Janelle and that’s just how it was supposed to be.

Maybe I’m going crazy, but being next to Janelle, just for that brief period of time, felt like home. When I first saw her, it was lust at first sight, but almost instantly after that, I knew there was more, and seeing her again tonight simply confirmed that.

My hands and the keys are clean and smell like the worst attempt for a decent smelling soap anyone has ever come up with. I dry them on a paper towel and head back outside.

Now, where to go?

I have Janelle’s keys, and I should give them to her, but I also need to get to this mysterious property of my dad’s and see what’s going on. If I bring the keys to her now, will she even want to talk to me?

All these questions whirl through my mind as I hop in my car and drive across town for the second time. I almost wish there was heavy traffic to help make this decision easier, but there’s barely anyone on the road tonight and before I know it I’m at an intersection and have to make up my mind.

Left to Janelle’s, or right to my father’s house?

I scratch my head and think. That kid has me spinning. Could he really be mine? Did Janelle really lie to me? I can’t imagine she would. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she just somehow forgot to take the morning-after pill? That’s not too farfetched. But…of all the things to forget!

Being a father was nothing I’d ever thought about until now as anything other than a big “Hell no!” I knew other guys from the team who had kids with strippers and escorts, one-night stands, and it never worked out. They were always miserable, or worse, ended up paying half their salary to some broad they never even liked to begin with.

So how could I be so stupid!?

I could have sworn Janelle was different. But I can’t get ahead of myself here. She hasn’t told me he’s mine yet. He might not be! And even if he is, she hasn’t asked me for money and I doubt she will. So maybe this is all a big mistake. Maybe he’s not mine, or maybe he is and she doesn’t want me in his life because she thinks I’m a huge asshole.

Which I can understand, but it’s not the truth. If that boy is my son, I will be there for him in every way imaginable, and I’ll never run out on him, no matter how old he is. I want to be there for Janelle too, if she’ll let me, whether or not the boy is mine.

I just need to prove to her that I’m a good guy. I need to talk to her. When she hears the whole story she’ll understand.

I decide to take a left and go to Janelle’s house. But when I pull up, I can see the lights are already off, so I just leave the keys in the mailbox instead and get back in the car.

It’s not what I want to do though. There’s nothing I want more than to kick open that door, grab Janelle and take her into my arms and tell her how I feel about her, how every day I’ve been away has been torture and how badly I’ve missed her. But now is not the time.

Right now I have to get to my dad’s house and get my mind right. If we’re going to talk soon, I have to be prepared. She’s going to be pissed at me for sure, but we need to talk.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll talk to her. I’ll make her understand.