CHAPTER TWELVE

1987

The first day in the studio we were introduced to the team. The place Len had found for us was in a leafy suburb of London, not too far from Hampstead Heath. It was a brand new setup and we would be using state of the art digital technology, a lot of which was all new to us. The two sound engineers were a brother and sister team called Max and Lydia. We’d never worked with them before, but Len assured us that they knew our work and were the best in the business with the new equipment now available. Trevor and Nile were our usual producers, and we had every faith in them coming up with the sounds we were hoping to create.

We were introduced to a few office and backroom staff, and then we were introduced to Carla. She was a newly qualified sound and recording engineer who had been taken on by Max and Lydia. She was straight out of university and looked like a pixie.

No tracks were laid down the first week. They rarely were with us. We spent the time getting our sound tight, Maca working on his voice and listening to playbacks.

During that time, Carla was in and out of the live room with drinks and food for us, and I had noticed Maca watching her.

She was cute, don’t get me wrong, just not my type. Short, really petite with an almost androgynous body. No curves, no tits, and spikey blonde hair. She told us that she was twenty-three, but she looked twelve. As far removed from my sister as you could get, really. Perhaps for Maca, that was the appeal.

On the Friday at the end of our first week, Max suggested we all go to the pub together and we ended up at The Spaniards Inn. It was a beautiful evening and we were able to get a table out in the beer garden and enjoy some late summer sun.

Drinks were drunk, conversations flowed, and we all learned a little bit about each other.

Max and Lydia were in fact twins. Their dad was a well-known session musician who had played with some of the biggest bands in the world over the years.

Max, it turned out, was married to Nile’s sister, Nicole, who joined us with their two kids an hour after we arrived at the pub.

It felt good to be in a crowd of people who just accepted you for who you were. No bullshit, no pretences. No one wanted to touch us or have us sign parts of their bodies. It was like being with family and I suddenly felt very homesick.

Over the coming weeks, it became a regular thing for us to all have a drink together on a Friday, and at first, I enjoyed sitting back, watching Maca and Carla get closer. After a while though, I noticed that she was a little bit flirty with all the blokes; single, married, she didn’t care. It was almost like she was just after someone, anyone, even me, and it made me uncomfortable. Maca wore his heart on his sleeve and the last thing he needed was to get his heart broken again.

Max, Trevor, and Len had all given Maca the ‘Don’t shit on your own doorstep’ talk. I still wasn’t exactly sure what was happening between the two of them. I’m not sure if it was because of George that he didn’t confide in me, but we could all see that Maca was happier. Despite that, I still had my reservations. Call it gut instinct. There was just something about the girl I didn’t like.

That year, Georgia’s birthday passed without a mention of it from Maca. I sent her a card and a Beastie Boys T-shirt that I’d managed to get signed for her. Jimmie passed on her thanks and a message to say that she loved it.

By mid-October, the album was finished and Maca and I had moved into our new place together in Docklands.

Although I knew he was seeing Carla, he never brought her back to our shared apartment. I’m not sure how serious things were between them at that point, but I knew for a fact he wasn’t seeing her exclusively. She was a distraction, I got it, but I did feel a bit sorry for the girl, even if I didn’t like her. By the end of our time in the studio, it was obvious to everyone that she had a massive crush on him, but I wasn’t sure how deep his feelings went for her, or how at that stage he was feeling about Georgia.

We were lying in front of the telly at home one Sunday night when Jim and Len came around.

“Big brother Lennon, to what do we owe this pleasure?” I asked as he shoved a nicely chilled bottle of Bolli into my hand.

“Come to ask a favour, bro.” Is all he said before sitting down and muting the sound with the remote control.

“What the fuck, Len? Make yourself at home, mate.” Maca sat up complaining. Jimmie sat down on the sofa next to him.

“Thanks, Maca, I will.” Len winked as he spoke.

I got us all a beer from the fridge and called out to Jim, asking if she wanted me to crack open the bubbly. “Well that depends on your answer to our question,” she called back. “A beer will do for now.” I brought her a beer and went and sat on the opposite sofa with my brother.

“What’s up then? Spill the beans,” I told them both.

“The wedding’s all booked for the 3rd of June, 1989.” Jim said with a smile.

“Congratulations,” Maca and I said in unison, all of us raising our bottles in a toast.

“I’ve asked Bailey to be my best man.” Len added. I feel a little stab of jealousy, but that’s just a long held sibling rivalry issue. I knew that as the older brother, it was only right that Bailey was best man.

“But we’d like you two to be groomsmen.” Len quickly adds.

“Of course, it’d be my pleasure.” I told them both, having no idea what a groomsmen was, but happy to be given a role.

It was quiet for a few seconds and I just knew there was a ‘but’ coming. I watched Jimmie flick her dark hair over her shoulder and lick her lips. She was nervous. I’d known the girl since we were in play school, and I knew when she was shitting herself about something.

“Maca?” She looked at him, waiting for his answer.

“It’d be my absolute pleasure to be a part of your wedding, but I totally understand if you change your minds about me being there. I don’t wanna cause you issues with other members of your families.”

Of course, Georgia.

“It’s not a problem for Georgia. She understands that we obviously want you all there with us and she’s good with that.” Jimmie reassured him.

“That’s not the sort of thing Gia would say. Tell me honestly, Jim, how’s she really feeling about it?” Maca asked.

She looked between the both of us.

“She’s promised to make an effort to get things back on track between her and Marley before the wedding.” She smiled and looked at me as she talked and I swallowed down the lump in my throat. I promised my mum I would go home for Christmas that year. Perhaps that would be a good time to start building bridges.

“And what about me?” Maca asked again. “How does she feel about seeing me there?”

Jim takes a swig of her beer, looking at Len for guidance and when he gives his head a small nod, she looks at Maca.

“She said that for me, she could do it. To give me the day that I want, she would be able to deal with being around you, just for one day.”

“Well that makes me feel wanted.” I felt so sorry for him in that moment and pissed off with my sister.

“All I ask is that she doesn’t take anyone else with her.” Maca requested.

“What?” Len and Jimmie ask at the same time.

“A bloke, whoever she’s seeing. Ask her, from me, if she could just come on her own.” His eyes looked around to each of us. “I don’t think I could handle seeing her with another bloke.” He told us honestly.

“Maca, you have got to be kidding me? She doesn’t go anywhere to meet blokes. She goes to work and the gym, that’s it. That’s her life. She goes nowhere, sees no one. She doesn’t see any of her friends. Well, in all honesty, she doesn’t really have any friends outside of us.” Jimmie turned her gaze solely on Maca as she spoke. “When you did what you did, not only did she lose you and Marley, but in a way she lost me and Len too. Even Billy and Tom. The biggest part of her life, the part that she planned on being her whole life, her world, went too. I thought you got that? I thought you knew how isolated and alone she’s been.”

I watched him as he stroked the two middle fingers of his left hand over his lips. His eyes shined with tears, but he managed to swallow them down.

“No, Jim, I had no fucking idea that was the life she’s been living. I don’t know if you realise this, but you lot don’t tell me much about what’s going on in her life. You can talk about her around me, ya know? I’m fully aware that I’m a pussy where she’s concerned, and that my behaviour’s not normal for a bloke my age, but what we had—what I have with G ain’t normal. I don’t know what love’s like for others, but I’ve seen people go through breakups, I’ve listened to them declare that they’re heartbroken, and then a month later they’re seeing someone else, declaring their undying love for them, but that’s not possible for me. I know that I shag other birds...”

He took a swig from his beer as Jimmie chimed in with, “Lots of other birds, lots and lots and—”

“Yeah, yeah, Jim, we get it.” I cut her off.

“I don’t wanna say that I’m glad she’s as miserable as I am. You’re her brothers and her best mates, but fuck. As much as it hurts me to hear that she’s hurting, hearing it gives me the tiniest bit of hope, and shit yeah, in a weird and twisted way, it makes me fucking ecstatic.”

He drained his drink and tilted his bottle towards me.

“Let’s crack open the Bolli. Looks like we’ve got a wedding to go to, dude.”