CHAPTER TWENTY

1989

It took a week for Ash to fully recover. I had a doctor out to see her as soon as I got her to my place and tucked up in my bed. He declared she had laryngitis, as well as a chest and sinus infection. He prescribed a five day course of antibiotics and paracetamol for the pain. After taking her tablets and eating a bowl of tomato soup, she slept for almost fourteen hours.

In that time, I got myself set up in Maca’s room and moved all her clothes and girlie shit from her place and into my room.

I left her to rest the first couple of days, just bringing her food and making her drink plenty. She was up and about by the following Thursday, and watching telly on the sofa, curled up next to me under a blanket.

It’d been a week, and I already didn’t want to imagine her not being there every day. It was killing me to lay in bed at night, knowing that she was in the other room.

We’d done nothing more than curl up next to each other, or kiss each other’s cheeks goodnight. I desperately wanted more, but I knew that I had to prove to her that I didn’t just want her here for sex. I had to make her understand that I wanted her there because I couldn’t stand the thought of her not being there.

I got out for a run on Friday morning, then headed into our home gym and lifted some weights, anything to take my mind off sex, specifically sex with Ashley.

I’d just showered and was making Ash and myself a sandwich when my phone rang.

“Madam Vaginas Brothel, how can we help you today?” I answered.

“Please tell me George is with you?” It was Maca.

“Na, mate. Not seen her.”

“Fuck.” I got instant goose bumps.

“Mac, what’s wrong?”

“Dave fucking sat back and did nothing when she left with Cameron King’s minder.”

What?

“What the fuck, Mac? When?”

“Six fucking hours ago.”

“Where are you?”

“At the flat.”

“I’m coming over.”

“Okay. Your dad’s on it and on his way over too.” He was quiet for a few seconds. “You don’t reckon she’s gone back to him, do ya Marls?”

“No mate, I don’t.” I had no fucking clue.

He hung up.

“What’s wrong?” Ashley asked from behind me.

She looked a lot better. She’d actually dressed in clothes rather than her PJ’s. Her hair was all clean and shiny, and she had some colour in her cheeks. She looked beautiful—perfect.

“George left the flat with Cameron King’s minder six hours ago and no one’s seen her since.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah. I’m gonna head over there.”

“I’ll come.”

We literally walked through the front door of my sister’s to an entire Layton family reunion.

My dad was on the phone, shouting out orders to someone and my mum was on the sofa, looking worried.

Bailey was trying to shout over my dad to whoever it is was he was talking to on the phone.

“If he touches a hair on her fucking head, I’ll have him and his bald fucking sidekick. They’ll both end up at the bottom of the Thames wearing concrete boots.”

Jimmie was making tea and Len was talking quietly in the kitchen to Maca.

All eyes turned to us.

“You know anything?” Maca directed his question to Ash. He was obviously unaware that she was with me when he’d called.

She shakes her head no, but then calls out to Bailey, “He won’t hurt her.”

Everyone once again turned in her direction.

“Hang on a minute, Fin, hang on,” my dad said as he sat down the phone.

“What?” Bailey and Maca both said at once.

She looked up at me, terrified, and I watched her throat move as she swallowed. Then she pulled her classic Ash pose; shoulders back, chin out, that was my girl. She walked farther into the room.

“He won’t hurt her. I spoke to him at the wine bar last week.” She turned and looked in my direction as she said it, probably because she knew that it was news to me. “I popped over there after work with Lorna before going out one night and he was there.”

“And?” Bailey snapped, and that was exactly what his neck would be doing if he talked to her like that again.

“He was half cut and told me that he was in love with George, that he’d planned a future for them together, but if Sean was what she wanted, then he would stand aside and let her be happy.” She looked around at everyone, looking them in the eye, but I could see her fingers and thumbs rubbing together. I knew she was nervous. “He loves her. He’d never hurt her.”

Maca ran his hand through his hair, then over his beard. His shoulders slumped, and I knew what he was thinking in an instant.

“She’ll be back.” I told him, but he shook his head no.

“What about Georgia? Has she said anything about him to you?” He asked.

“Na, I’ve hardly seen her the last coupla weeks. She’s been with you all the time.”

“What about you, Jim?”

“Na, same as Ash. I’ve hardly seen her.”

I’ll call you back in a sec, Fin.” My dad ended his call, just as a wide-eyed Georgia came through the door. She stopped in her tracks and looked at all of us. It was a classic ‘deer in headlights’ moment as she took us all in.

“Where the fuck have you been, George?” Bailey jumped in first.

My dad moved towards her and wrapped her in his arms. “Princess, you scared the fuckin’ life outta me. Don’t ever, and I mean ever, do that again!”

Princess? Fucking Princess? My sister seriously got away with murder.

I watched Maca, watching ‘Princess George’ with a look of ... I don’t know what, on his face. He looked relieved, but still worried. She was back, unharmed by the look of things, but he was obviously as curious as me to know where it was exactly that she’d been all day.

I tune Bailey out as he bollocked my sister and told her what a selfish little bitch she was, and I had to say, I agreed with him on that score.

Georgia made her apologies to everyone, which I was surprised at. Usually she’d just storm off and slam doors, but she took it on the chin and said sorry. I actually thought she meant it.

I gestured to Ash that it was time for us to go. Now that I knew G was safe, I wasn’t hanging around to listen to her get a Frank special. He could go on for hours, my dad, when you displeased him, to the point where your ears would bleed.

By the time we got back to my place, Ash was tired and I was starving, so we called out for pizza and got back on the sofa to watch ‘The Untouchables.’

Mrs. Cooper, our cleaning lady, came over and helped me make a shepherd’s pie on Saturday, and wrote me a list of what I needed to buy for a Sunday roast.

Milo was out with Georgia and Maca while they looked at houses. Everything seemed to be sweet with them when I called to check that morning.  I read the shopping list out to Dave over the phone and sent him to the shops to get everything that I needed.

Working for rock stars can be seriously dangerous work at times, I kid you not. Just ask Dave.

Ashley had hardly said a word since she got here. Yesterday was the most I’d heard her speak, and the majority of what she had to say was aimed at other people. I wasn’t sure if she still had the hump with me Saturday afternoon when I leaned against the bedroom door and asked her if she’d like to get out of bed and eat, or if she wanted me to bring her food in on a tray.

The antibiotics had taken full affect at that stage. Her voice wasn’t as croaky, and she wasn’t coughing as much. She’d had some colour in her cheeks for the past few days, and I couldn’t help but notice how pretty she looked as she contemplated my question, quietly.

“I’ll have a bath and then I’ll get up, if that’s all right?” Her reply finally came.

“Of course it’s all right. I told you to treat this place like your own while you’re here. There’s some muscle soak bubble bath shit under the sink if you wanna throw that in.”

“Thank you.”

“You need help washing your back ... or your front?”

“Do you ever give in?”

“Never. So, do you?” 

“No, Marley, I think I can manage.”

“Just shout if you change your mind, baby.”

I can’t tell if her eyes were watery because of her condition, or if she was about to cry. “Why are you doing this for me, Marley? Why are you looking after me?” Shit, she was about to cry.

I walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. I got Milo to buy her some girlie bedding yesterday, and Mrs. Cooper washed, dried, and put it on the bed for her earlier. I told him to get purple, as she seemed to like it.

She looked so young sitting there, surrounded by purple pillows and sheets. I tucked a wayward strand of blonde hair behind her ear before I spoke. “Why won’t you believe that I really like you, Ash?”

“Because boys like you don’t waste their time on girls like me.”

“So boys like me have no interest in smart, funny, mouthy, sexy girls like you?” I asked. She shook her head no.

“That’s got fuck all to do with it. That shit’s all just for show. I’m talking about me, the real me; where I come from, who my parents are, where I was living.”

Now it’s my turn to shake my head. “Where you come from, who your family are, and where I found you living, have all gone into making you the person that you are, and I happen to like that person, Ash. I don’t know why you keep banging on about blokes like me. I come from the same place as you. We went to the same school, for fuck’s sake.”

I wasn’t a snob, and I’d never looked down my nose at anyone—that’s not the way we were raised—and it was pissing me off that she kept implying that I somehow thought that I was better than her. Yeah, I described the place she was living as a shit hole because it fucking was, but I wasn’t judging her for it.

“We hardly had the same upbringing though.”

“What the fuck has that got to do with anything?” I asked, my voice sounding high-pitched in disbelief. “I like you, Ash, a lot, and if you like me, then there’s no reason why we can’t give this a go, that is unless you don’t like me, and you’re just coming up with bullshit excuses as to why we can’t be together. And if that’s the case, well then, that’s fine. I’ll help you out anyway, because I like you. Just say the word and I’ll back the fuck off and leave you to get yourself well, then I’ll help you find a new place to stay.”

Please don’t say the word. Please, please don’t.

“I’m not a charity case. I’m not a little project for you and your family to work on.”

What?

“What the fuck has my family got to do with this?”

“Well, there’s you feeding me bullshit so you can get into my knickers. There’s Georgia being my mate, just because she doesn’t have too many to choose from, and there’s your mum, giving me a job and treating me like the rain in Spain bird, out of the Doctor Doolittle film, trying to make me talk and dress all proper.”

That’s what she thinks of us?

I watch in silence as she wipes her nose on the back of her hand. That was why I didn’t do relationships. That was why I didn’t do that caring bollocks. It just made your chest hurt.

It took me a few seconds to calm the emotions bubbling inside of me, trying to think of what to say. She could bitch about me all she wanted, but bringing my family into it, I was gonna get pissed off.

“Well, I’m glad you’ve clued me up on how you really feel. I won’t waste any more of your time, but just so you know, the only thing I was planning on feeding you today was the shepherd’s pie I’ve spent the last two hours making us for dinner. Georgia is just choosey about who she lets into her life, and you should feel fucking honoured that my sister has let you in and given you the title of friend. As for my mum ... from what I hear, my mum gave you that job because apparently you’re an excellent sales woman. She gives you an allowance to spend on clothes because it’s a perk of the job, and good advertising for the shop. And as for the bird from the film? You’re even wrong on that score, sweetheart. Her names Eliza Doolittle, and the play’s called Pygmalion, the film is My Fair Lady. Doctor Doolittle has got fuck all to do with it. Even I know that much.”

We stared at each other for a few seconds before Ash started to climb out of bed. “I’m off. I don’t need this bullshit, and I don’t need to be lectured by you.” She headed into my wardrobe and started pulling her clothes off the hangers.

“Where the fuck are you gonna go?” I snapped. I shouldn’t have used that tone, implying that I was her only option. I knew it as soon as I said it.

She spun around and stared at me with an armful of her designer dresses, held against her chest. “You think I don’t have places to go? People that I can stay with? People that care and don’t just see me as a charity case?”

Whoa, that fucking hurt.

“When the fuck have I ever made you feel like a charity case?” I asked, astounded.

“Oh, I dunno.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Only ever since I met you, and especially since you turned up to my flat uninvited.”

She tilted her chin in that way that she did, and my heart rate increased. Why? I don’t have an answer to that.

She moved to try and put her hands on her hips, but they were still filled with her clothes. She didn’t even have a suitcase to put them in. Pretty much everything she owned was is what she held in her arms. I couldn’t imagine how that must’ve made her feel, but I don’t want it to be inadequate, unworthy, or beneath me, or anyone else. She was a better person than I could ever hope to be. I just needed her to understand that.

“I came to your flat because I was worried about you. I had no fucking clue you were living in those conditions. Does my sister know? My mum?” That’s probably wasn’t the best way to go about making her feel better about herself.

Go me.

Her nostrils flared, just before she threw her clothes at me. “Where I live has fuck all to do with your family. Fuck all to do with you or anyone else.”

Okay, perhaps I didn’t care how she felt. As she screamed at me, she picked up the pile of clothes a few more times and repeatedly threw them at me before collapsing on top of them in a coughing fit.

I watched her for a few seconds, trying to decide whether I wanted to get her some water, or smack her arse for behaving like such a bitch. This type of behaviour was what I’d expect from George, but I’d never had thought Ash capable of it.

I turned and got a bottle of water off the night stand and threw it so it landed in her lap.

“Thank you.” She said through her sniffs and her tears.

“You’re welcome.” I told her.

I stood and watched her as she sat on her pile of clothes, crying quietly. My fists clenched and unclenched. I wanted to sit on the floor with her and pull her into my lap. I wanted to kiss her fucking senseless and make everything right in her world, but I shouldn’t want to feel any of those things. What she said about my family was nasty and spiteful, and I shouldn’t want anything to do with her.

She finally looked up at me. “I’m sorry.” She got out before her face crumbled and she pulled that full on ugly face you do when you cry hard.

I was done.

Within a split second, I was on the floor with her, holding her in my lap and stroking her back, kissing the top of her head.

“I’m so sorry, Marley. I really don’t think that. I don’t think any of those things. I love your sister and your mum ...sh-she ...” She let out a few sobs before continuing. “She’s the only one I’ve got.”

I pulled her into me and hold her tight.

“I ain’t got no one, Marley. No people that care, and I’ve got nowhere to go. My life’s a fucking mess.” She started to cough. I lifted her up and carried her back to bed. I sat with my back to the headboard and kept a hold of her in my lap.

“Ash, just so you know, whatever happens between us, you’ll always have me. And don’t say that you’ve got no one coz you have my mum, George, and Jimmie. They all care.”

She looked up at me through teary eyes, blinked a couple of times and opened her mouth to speak.

“If you ask me again why I’m doing this, I’ll fucking strangle you,” I told her.

She smiled, despite the tears clinging to her lashes, then started to cry again.

I held on to her until eventually, we both fell asleep.

We ate reheated Shepherd’s pie later that evening, and on Sunday, we cooked a roast dinner together.

She fell asleep later on the sofa, with her head in my lap. I ran my fingers through her hair as I stared down at her.

Ever since we met, I’ve felt like my heart had beat too fast, too hard, and too erratic. My stomach felt like it had been tied in knots and my head—my head was all over the show. I thought one thing, then did or said another.

I’m not entirely sure how I felt about any of it. Terrified, mostly. The fact that I had no control over what I was feeling scared the crap outta me, and it was that fear that ultimately lead me to fuck everything up and make yet another one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

I turned the telly off by the remote control and carried Ashley to bed. As I laid her down, she pulled me towards her.

“Where are you going?” She asked.

“The other room.”

“Don’t go. Stay, please?” She sat up and put the lamp on at the side of the bed. “I’d really like you to stay, Marls.” My belly flipped at the abbreviation of my name. I wasn’t sure if I’d heard her use it before, and I liked it, almost as much as Rock Star, in fact.

We’d both been a bit quiet since our little fallout yesterday, but she’d barely left my side and had been very touchy feely when she’d been near. I’ve no idea what it meant. I was hoping that she was finally ‘getting’ that I liked her for her. I’d held back, sorta, on all the flirty stuff that came so naturel to me and just tried to keep things on a sorta platonic level.

“Ash, if I stay ... I can’t. I’m not sure that...” For fuck’s sake, Layton, just tell her if you stay, you’ll likely bang her brains out.

“Rock Star, do I have to spell it out to you? I want you to stay. I know what that means, and the answer is still that I want you to stay.”

My mouth went dry, to the point where my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and my lips to my teeth.

She climbs out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. I grabbed her hand as she passed me. “Where you going?”

“I want a quick shower and to clean my teeth. My breath smells like Brussel sprouts.”

“I like Brussel sprouts.” It was possibly the most pathetic thing I’d ever said in my life, like, ever.

“Yeah, on your dinner, maybe, but do you really wanna snog one?”

I didn’t answer her question, mainly because I’d say something that would make me sound like even more of a pussy, or a complete twat, so I let go of her hand and let her carry on into the bathroom. I went and collected my toothbrush and then came back, unsure of what to do next.

Me, unsure? That was a fucking joke, but that was what she did to me.

I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower with her. She had her back to me, face tilted upwards, letting the water bounce off her chin and down her chest. Her hair was piled up in one of those sexy birds nest things. I leaned in and kissed the curve of her neck and slid my arms around her from behind. She stilled for a split second, and then pressed her back into my front.

“You are so fucking gorgeous,” I told her.

We had the showers designed with a built-in sound system and ‘Mystify’ by INXS was playing.

Leaving one hand on her belly, I slid the other up and cupped one of her tits. It fit my hand perfectly. Squeezing her nipple, I dragged my teeth up her neck and over her ear.

“Baby, we need to get washed and get out of here before I embarrass myself and come before you even touch me,” I whispered.

She shuddered, fucking shuddered, and goose bumps spread across her skin. I bent my knees slightly and grinded my hips into hers.

She bended over to get the shower gel and I nearly came all over arse.

“Fuck me, Ash, seriously. Don’t be bending over near me like that, babe, else this’ll be over before it even gets started.”

She turned to face me and rolled her eyes. The water from the shower head beat down between us. I slipped my arms around her hips, gripped onto her arse cheeks and pulled her towards me.

“I want to climb inside that head of yours and carve into your brain how fucking perfect you are so that you’ll finally believe what I’m saying to you.” I hate that she doubts that I’m telling the truth.

“It’s just...” She tilted her head to the side before shrugging her shoulders, then looked down at my chest. Her tits were squashed up against my bare chest, but I’d not even been aware of that fact because I was too busy worrying about what she was thinking.

“Look at me, Ash.” I ordered. I expected a big ‘fuck you,’ but instead, she brought her eyes up to meet mine.

“Trust me when I say this, baby. You are perfect.” She slowly nodded her head.

“If I trust you, Marley, please promise that you won’t let me down?” she whispered. Her voice was still a little bit croaky, but I could hear the plea, the desperation in her words regardless, and then I did something I should never have done.

“You can trust me, Ash. I’ll never let you down.”

We kissed under the flow of the water before slowly washing each other’s bodies. After turning off the shower and cleaning our teeth, we crawled into bed.

I spent the longest time I’d ever spent, exploring and worshiping a woman’s body. I kissed, licked, sucked, and bit my way from the tips of her toes to the top of her head.

When my mouth got back down to the top of her thighs, I lifted her knees and pushed her legs as wide apart as I could. She was spread bare for me. I ran my fingertips over the small patch of fair hair that sat above her perfect, perfect pussy.

Her hips bucked off the bed and she let out a moan as I spread her open with my thumbs and licked where she was wet.

“Marley, please.” I loved the begging tone to her voice—fucking loved it.

“You like that, baby?” I looked up at her and asked. She had one hand in my hair, her nails raking at my scalp, and the other was bent back behind her, gripping the pillow. Her cheeks, neck, and chest were flushed pink and I swear, I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life.

“Yes. Yes, I’ve never ... no one’s ever—” 

“No one’s ever what, baby? Kissed you here?” I kissed her clit. “Licked you there?” I swiped my tongue through her cunt, then pushed it inside her as she ground her hips into my face.

Her taste, her moans, the way she smelled, everything about her was so fucking perfect.

“You like that?” I asked after I blew over her wet skin.

“Yes,” she stated, still grinding her hips up towards my mouth.

“You want me to make you come? You wanna come all over my face?”

She nodded her head as her hands clawed at the sheets on either side of her hips.

“Use your words, baby. I need to hear you tell me what you want.” Her eyes widened as she worked out that she was gonna have to beg, or at least ask me nicely for an orgasm.

“Please Marley, please. I wanna come. I want you to make me come.”

Did I mention that I fucking loved the way she pleaded with me?

Loved. It.

I could’ve come myself just from listening to her beg. I kissed her belly before sliding my hands underneath her arse cheeks and tilting her hips towards my face.

“I’m gonna use my mouth, baby. I’m gonna use my mouth and my fingers, and I’m gonna blow your fucking mind.” I flicked my tongue over her clit, sliding two fingers inside her, and curled them forward. She was so tight.

Tight, wet, and so fucking perfect.

I pumped my fingers in and out of her, curling them and stroking her from the inside, slowly. My opposite hand was resting against the silky soft skin of the inside of her thigh. I wanted to keep tasting her, but I also wanted to watch her come. After a few more flicks, I replaced my tongue with my thumb and kept working her clit as I sat up on my knees so I could watch her face.

Both her arms were over her head, holding onto the pillow. Her shoulders were pulled back, her tits moving as she rode my hand. I slid my hand up her body and squeezed one of her nipples as I looked at both her eyes and her mouth that were open.

“Perfect. You are fucking perfect.” I said, because it’s the truth.

“Ahh,” was the first sign I get of her impending orgasm, and then everything happened at once.

Her internal muscles tightened around my fingers and her legs trembled as she let out a loud moan. I gave my cock a couple of strokes and shot off all over her belly. All the while, Ash continued to convulse all around me. Her legs, her stomach, internal muscles and her clit, all squeezed, twitched, and shook, and the whole time, she never once broke eye contact with me.

Sexiest thing ever.

When her insides stopped pulsating, I slid my fingers out of her and licked them clean as she watched. Then I reached for the towel I left on the floor after our shower together.

I wiped off the mess I made on her belly, then laid on top of her, kissing her mouth gently. She opened her legs, welcoming me in between them. I slid my tongue across the seam of her lips until eventually, she opens her mouth and allowed my assault. I couldn’t get deep enough as I tangled my tongue with hers. I swiped it over her teeth, her mouth, her lips. It didn’t take long for me to grow hard again.

After kissing her senseless for a while, I gave her nipples the attention they deserved, which seemed to drive her fucking nuts. Her nails dug into my arse cheeks and I had to laugh out loud at her enthusiasm as she pulled me against her.

When neither of us could take it anymore, I slid inside her. This time it was quiet and gentle. This time I lasted. This time I laced my fingers through hers and stared into her eyes. This time was beyond perfect—beyond anything I had ever experienced in my life.

I knew before I even said the words that it was wrong of me, that I was lying. I promised I wouldn’t let her down, but I knew that one day I would.

She’d been let down before, I could see it in her eyes. I heard it in her insecurities, her self-doubt, and I never wanted to be the reason behind any of that, so later that night, when we’d showered together, fucked once more, and she’d fallen asleep in my arms, in my bed, in my heart, and my dirty, tarnished soul. I watched her. I watched the rise and fall of her chest, memorising her long eyelashes as they fanned out across her cheeks that were still flushed pink with the sex and the showers we’d shared. Then I gently kissed her perfect mouth, slid out of my bed, packed a case with my clothes and left her a short note. I called a car service to collect and take me to the airport.

It was five in the morning, but from the phone in the security office of my building, I called Andrea, mine and Maca’s PA. I told her I needed a flight to anywhere, ASAP, and she called back within fifteen minutes. Three hours later, I was touching down in Paris.

I stayed drunk in my hotel room for two days. I was still too close, too tempted to go back and claim her, to make her mine, until I would do what I did best and fucked things up, until I broke her.

I called Andrea again and booked a flight to the States.

I checked in with Len and told him I just needed some time to myself. We had nothing on anyway. With only a month till his wedding, we had nothing scheduled until later in the year when we’d start the new album.

I needed to be back in England in three weeks for my final suit fitting, which gave me plenty of time to be seen and photographed with a different woman on my arm every night. I went to every place in LA we usually avoided. Every club, bar, and restaurant I knew the press hung about outside, I was there. I made sure I gave them plenty of opportunity to get their shots of me leaving, and I made sure I was with a different woman each time.

It wasn’t that I wanted to hurt Ash, I didn’t, not at all, but I knew if I went where I was sure our feelings were taking us, I’d eventually let her down. I’m Marley Layton, fucking things up is what I did.

With just a couple of days left in LA, I spoke with Maca on the phone and he told me that he and George had found a place in Hampstead, and had been able to move straight in. Ashley had taken over G’s flat, which she had left fully furnished for her.

“I take it things didn’t work out between you, what with the way you just took off?” Maca asked me down the phone.

“Why, what’s she said?” I asked, waiting for Georgia to jump in and give me a bollocking. I was actually surprised I hadn’t heard from her or Jimmie by then.

“Nothing much. Gia has only seen her a couple of times. G’s tried going back to work, but the press are up her arse so she’s promoted Ash to area manager. The flat and a car come with the job.”

Well, that made me feel a little better and a lot worse.

In the note that I’d left for Ash, I’d told her to stay at my place for as long as she liked. Despite the shitty thing that I’d done, I was hoping that she might still be there when I went back for the wedding.

“I think she told G that she’d got back with her ex and that’s why things hadn’t worked out between you two. I assumed that’s why you took off. I know you said you liked her.”

“Her ex? What fucking ex?” I paced the floor of my hotel room as I shouted down the phone. What ex? There was no ex? She never told me about any fucking ex? Probably because I didn’t hang around long enough for her to tell me much about anything.

Images of Ashley, small, vulnerable, curled up all warm beside me, hot and sweaty from sex, water dripping from her in the shower, flash like snap shots through my brain. The thought of someone else seeing her like that, sharing moments like I had with her, touching, tasting and smelling her make head feel like it was about to explode.

Whoever the fucker was, he had to go.

Even kidnap and murder seemed like reasonable possibilities in that moment.

“Oi. Hold your fucking horses. I don’t know what ex, she’s your bird.” 

“She’s not my bird.” I bit back.

“Well, not if she’s back with her ex, she ain’t, no.” We were both quiet for a few seconds. “Sorry mate. I thought you knew. I thought that’s why you left.”

I let out a long sigh. My head was now pounding and my brain was in overdrive. I needed to get back to England and put things right.

I’d fucked up. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s what I did, but this time I’d fucked up massively, and possibly lost the best thing that had ever happened to me.

“Mac, I need to go. I’ll be home tomorrow and give ya a bell then. Give my love to George.” I never gave him a chance to say goodbye before I cut him off.

I called Len and asked him to get me on the next flight back to London, and to have a car waiting for me when I landed.

By ten the next morning, I was pulling up outside Posh Frocks. I pulled my cap down low and ran into the shop.

“Morning, Lorna. Ashley about?” I kept it casual and talked to the girl like I’d known her forever. We’d chatted a few times when I’d been waiting for Ash and I’d signed some stuff for her.

“No, she’s out on the road today. She might come back here later, but not until around four. I can call one of the stores she’s visiting today and let her know you’re looking for her?” She said with a smile.

I liked Lorna. She was a bit older than me, and wasn’t fazed by who I was.

“Nah, that’s all right. I was hoping to surprise her.” I told her with a wink.

“Oh, so she’s not expecting you?” She asked and something in her tone had me questioning her.

“No, why’s that?”

She tilted her head sideways and folded her arms across her chest.

“I’ve no idea what’s gone on between the two of you, but I don’t think you’re her favourite person right now, Marley.”

“Lorna, I know I’m not her favourite person right now. That’s why I need to speak to her, and if she knows that I’m looking for her, she won’t see me so please, would you give me the chance to put things right? I fucked up and I need to speak to her.”

“Yeah, well, good luck with that. I won’t say I’ve seen you, but you better put things right. She’s a good girl, Ashley is, and I’ve hated seeing her upset these past few weeks.”

“She’s been upset?” I asked, feeling bad for sounding so hopeful.

“Yeah, she’s been upset, especially when she sees that.” She nods her head towards the coffee table where there’s a copy of Hello Magazine sitting. My ugly mug was smiling from the front cover, Alexis Kanchelski, some model I met in a club a few weeks back, wrapped around me.

“Fuck.” Is all I could say. I actually planned on her seeing this. I’d hoped that she’d see it and hate my fucking guts. That in turn would make it easier for her to move on and forget about me.

Well, job well done, Marley. Job well-fucking-done.

“Right, yeah. Well, like I said, I’ve fucked up and I need to put things right, so I’d really appreciate you not saying that I’ve been here.”

“She won’t hear it from me. Now piss off and put a smile back on that girls dial.” She ordered. I step in and kiss her cheek.

“I’ll do my best, Lorna. I’ll do my very best.” I promised.

I got Dave, who picked me up from the airport, to drop me off at home. My plan was to take a shower and drive back to Ashley’s flat and wait for her arrival.

The first I realise that there was a problem was when I couldn’t get my key in the lock. I called Ronnie, one of the doormen up to take a look. He called out a locksmith when he couldn’t do anything with it. The locksmith arrived and promptly told me that a key had been snapped off inside the lock.

He drilled it out, but ended up having to replace the whole barrel. I couldn’t stand the damage that it did to my front door, so ended up telling Ronnie to tell maintenance to order me a new one.

As soon as the door was opened, it was apparent that the place stunk.

“Bloody hell, mate. You forget to empty your fridge before you went away?” Bert the locksmith asked.

I was already pissed off at that point, so I bunged him a twenty quid tip and told him to invoice me for the bill.

Once I stepped all the way inside, I could see where the smell was coming from.

Sitting on my kitchen work top was the contents of my freezer. Two chickens, a whole salmon, a loaf of bread, a box of ice poles, and a tub of ice cream. I assumed that the freezer had broken, but why the stuff wasn’t thrown out, I had no idea. To make things worse, the place was like a sauna. The heating had obviously been left on the whole time I was away.

I go to call Maca to find out what the fuck had gone on when I realised I had no way of contacting him. I didn’t know his new number.

I grabbed a black sack and threw everything in it, then ran it down to the bins. When I got back up, I sprayed the place with what I thought was air freshener, but turned out to be furniture polish. Still, lemony pledge smelled a whole lot better than rotten chicken and fish.

When I walked into my bedroom, I was hit by another strange smell.

“What the fuck?” 

I looked down to see what was causing the strange squelch under my feet and realised at once the cause.

My bed had been stripped back to the bare mattress, and the carpet had a two inch layer of water cress growing over it. The carpet was wet, and when I pushed down on my mattress, so was it. On the night stand next to the bed was the note that I left Ashley, along with the front door key I left for her, half of it snapped off.

Underneath what I had written, Ash, I assume, had added,

WELCOME HOME

FUCKER!!!

I laughed. I didn’t actually know what else to do, so I stood on my water cress carpet and laughed.

Fuck. If I didn’t love that girl before, I definitely did now.

Yes, so fucking what. I’ve admitted it. I love her. I knew it a month ago and I sure as shit knew it now.

I took off my cap and scratched my head.

“Ah, Ashley Morrison, what are we gonna do with you?”