Chapter Fifteen
Krystina
Even the nights I spent alone in my dorm room sobbing, hoping, praying he would change his mind – I never hated Gentry. But that all changed tonight. What had started off so innocently and escalated quickly into a brink of hell fire and passion, ended with me getting burnt.
What a cliché especially when we both knew better. But the ecstasy took control. The feeling of Gentry back inside of me – that was the only word for it, ecstasy. The most natural high with the hardest crash.
I sobbed softly as I re-adjusted my dress best I could. My shawl lost to God only knows where. The hay had scratched my stomach, chest, thighs, face, hell everything. I felt so dirty, I was dirty. I could feel Gentry’s sticky cum drying on my back. I was a train wreck nearly as bad as Teffy herself.
But none of that mattered. Gentry had purposefully done everything in his power to belittle me. I always used protection. We always had to face each other. Always.
The roughness hadn’t bothered me. Unfortunately, I had been betrayed by my body and strong armed into enjoying it. However, Gentry hadn’t done it to pleasure me, only to hurt me.
To take the first moment of pure please I had it months and months and use it to remind me that he still hated me. Gentry Hollis was the biggest mistake I had ever made.
I sobbed harder. I couldn’t help it. I had nothing to wipe my tears with. Complete with me own misery I didn’t see Boots walk in. He cleared his throat softly and I panicked. He was a few feet away and I jumped up, attempting the best I could to be sure I was covered and ran out of the barn without a word.
There was nowhere to go but the house. I made it in without any more incident but cut and bruised feet. No one was in the bathroom and thanking the skies for small miracles, I stepped into the shower.
How was it just a few hours ago I stood here, more excited than I had been in ages? When my skin was as clean and as Gentry free as I could get it, I stepped out wrapping myself in an extra large towel.
I picked up the gold dress I had loved so much. It wasn’t ruined. No, rips or tears. Nothing that would stain its shimmer. I never wanted to lie eyes on it again. I wadded it up and tossed it in the trash.
Gentry’s bedroom door was closed when I peeked the staircase. I could hear the soft sound of classic rock barely audible seeping through. It was Gentry for “leave me the fuck alone”. Not that I cared to ever see him or speak to him again.
I let myself into my bedroom. Thankful for the birth control implant in my arm. James had insisted on it. He hadn’t wanted kids and that had been fine by me. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around how I thought I had loved that man. James or Gentry.
I turned on my own radio to a country playlist in hopes it would drown out my crying. No need to give him the satisfaction of hearing my pain.
***
I woke up still sore between my legs. The instant reminder that last night was more than just a nightmare. It had been a very long time since I had sex and even then, James was a twig in comparison to Gentry.
My alarm read six in the morning. I still very much wanted to lie in bed and mope. My face was stiff from all the tears and my pride vanquished. But I couldn’t do that. If I did that would mean that Gentry won and I had grown tired of losing. I crawled out of bed and dressed in my new every day wear and pulled my hair back and headed down the stairs.
Ed had stayed at Carla’s last night and I expected Gentry to be out the door already. He wasn’t. The look on his face told me he wanted to be though. He was filling the coffee thermos he carried everywhere and the thermometer in the kitchen window gave an outdoor temp of only thirty – four.
The atmosphere between us was a hell of a lot chillier.
I got a coffee cup from the cabinet as Gentry put the pot back. Empty.
“Here,” he said unscrewing his thermos.
I held up my hand. “I can make my own. Just go.”
I wanted so badly to hold my head high and stare him in the face. I couldn’t, if I did I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to reign it in. Instead I stared straight ahead. Which at this distance put me at chest level to him, eyes down. Pride gone. He stayed standing there for the longest ten seconds of my life. Then he walked out to the mudroom where I heard him put on his boots and then go out the door.
I moved only once he was gone. Changing the coffee filter, filling it with water. I was starving as I hadn’t had anything since lunch yesterday besides some long gone dessert Carla had brought me at the party.
I opened the fridge and stared rumbling around for breakfast ingredients. Omelet with sausage and cheese it was.
I had it fixed up in a jiffy and ate at the kitchen table. A far cry from the food I had adjusted to with James. There was nothing low fat about it. The grease and the carbs were welcome comfort food. I would need the strength for another day filled with ranch work and hating Gentry.
I cleaned up my mess in the kitchen and pulled on my boots and coat. I hoped against all hope that the horse barn would be empty and that Gentry would, with any luck, be long gone for the day. No one but horses greeted me when I opened the door, anxious for their breakfast so I started in on the chores.
“Glad you all can’t speak a language we understand,” I told Storm with a kiss on the nose.