Chapter Thirty – Eight
Gentry
For two hours after Krys rode away I stayed at the cabin. I cleaned up our mess, put out the fire and drank the last half bottle of our wine. I tried to calm down, tried to convince myself that she was right. It was her money, divorce settlement or not and she wanted to gift me with some of it.
However, it didn’t change the fact that the land purchase was something I felt I needed to do for me. To prove I was man enough to provide a good lifestyle for her. To take her to New York, Boston, Tahiti, Europe. To buy her several hundred dollar shoes and purses. Whatever she was used to. She had come so far.
I rode Doc back to the ranch yard. Thunder Storm was stalled and all the horses fed and watered despite it being a little early. I assumed Krystina had done it. My normal crew wasn’t typically that on top of things.
No one was downstairs when I went inside. However, there was a copy of the land transfer on the table. The ranch’s copy. The originals had been signed and filed. As Ed was the sole legal owner, it was now legally finalized even if I didn’t wish it to be.
I retired to my room with a bottle of whiskey and shut the door. I turned on my records. I didn’t want to fight with Krystina anymore tonight and although I regretted a few things I had said, there would be no apology tonight.
Any attempt at conversation tonight would only end worse. This wasn’t our first fight. There was routine to them. The night grew on and my phone rang with a few missed calls and texts. I always checked them immediately with slight hope it was always Gloria.
Although I didn’t answer and never replied it was easy to tell that she knew and that she felt I was a douche bag and an asshole among other thing.
But maybe I was right. If Krystina didn’t know me any better than to believe I wouldn’t be upset, maybe we didn’t really belong together. I should have fought Gloria off when she offered the ranch for Krys’ retreat.
I had become a much bigger playboy since I came out here. Much harder a man than the boy she had known. That wasn’t the kind of man Krystina would fall in love with. The woman Krys had become, that wasn’t me. Not my type. I would never fall for a girl like that. Maybe find lust and the desire to conquer but fall never fall in love.
I heard her come up the stairs at seven and over the music I heard her moving things around. At eleven I heard her make several trips up and down the stairs. Duke cried and I watched out my window as Ethan loaded up her bags in his truck.
I watched her turn and look at my window. I felt so helpless and pathetic. She had grown tired of my crap and was leaving me yet again. But I couldn’t move. I couldn’t go after her. I didn’t call out her name and beg her to stay.
My chest grew tight and I found it hard to breathe as she climbed in the cab next to my best friend and drove away. I screamed her name to late. Throwing my empty whiskey bottle against the window, shattering both the bottle and the old glass pane.
I found my feet and ran downstairs I went through the kitchen, shoving my feet in my boots at the side door and rushing to my truck. The keys weren’t in the ignition so I ran back to the house. I grabbed them from the kitchen table and my hand knocked into a letter. It fell to the floor and for some reason I stopped to pick it up.
My name was scrawled in Krystina’s pretty writing across the envelope. My hands shook as I pulled the letter free.
My dearest Gentry,
Leaving here, leaving you. This entire decision was not made lightly despite the high emotion of the day. I told myself when I boarded the plan in New York, that this trop wasn’t about you. That I didn’t need to know. But that was a lie. My coming to the ranch was all about you. Finding out the man you had become. Wondering if you were happy. If there was any spark left between us.
So many questions. Did I make the right choice choosing school? Was I still that trailer park princess? We’re we still in love? I have most all those answers now. Whether I like them or not. I loved you with all my heart and soul once. That doesn’t seemed to have changed. But you can’t forgive me for Boston, for James. Even if I got my funds through divorce I earned that. Every red cent. You can’t forgive that and we can’t go forwards.
My hope for both of us is that one day we both find the love as strong and exciting and pure as we had with each other. A love that’s attainable. One day, at the nieces and nephews graduation in Illinois. When they marry and all other rare occasions, I hope we can be in the same place. Share a warm smile and leave with our hearts no more broken than they are today.
Please don’t be angry with Ethan. He didn’t want a stranger in a taxi driving me all the way to the airport. I’m not sure where I’ll end up. Don’t even think about trying to pay me back for the land. Consider it my separation settlement to you. My forgiveness and parting gift.
Tell Doc and Thunder Storm not to forget me. I’ll send for Duke once I’m settled.
I’m sorry. As much as I love you and as much as I believe you love me, we can’t do this if you can’t forgive me. Truly forgive me in the realest sense of the word. But for that I hold no fault or blame to you.
Forever love,
Krystina.
I collapsed to the floor. Duke on my lap whining and crying. He knew his mother was gone. But at least she had plans to send for him.
I leaned back against the kitchen wall and slid the envelope to the floor. There was a small clank of metal hitting tile. I looked down to find the locket on the ground next to me.
For the first time in years, I felt tears burn in my eyes.