Chapter 17
Celia
Why was he saying all of the right things and more importantly, why did I believe him? I didn’t want to, but it made sense to me that he was telling the truth. I knew that there was something going on with him and I had a feeling that I had taken it all out of context, but at the end of the day I was just scared. Being with him had done something to me and I had run away as fast as I could. I wanted him too much and that worried me. There was a part of me that was worried about what was going to happen next, but there was really nothing that I could do. Now I was going to have to be around him, have to see him and if I was truthful, it still scared me to no end. I didn’t want to feel this way about him, but it did all make sense. Maybe Carlos wasn’t that far off.
“I don’t know what to say Leo, I really don’t.”
His hand came across the table and touched mine. I didn’t pull it back right away and that was a mistake because I could feel the spark from before. Nothing had changed and that made me even more nervous. I finally moved my hand away and sat back. I was afraid that this would happen, so was Carlos, but there was really nothing that I could do. There was always something about him that had pulled me in and hearing him say the same thing made me think that it could be different.
“I don’t want this to go on like this. You are going to have my baby and it is obvious that you still feel the same way about me as I do about you.”
I was speechless and I wished that I could tell him that he was way off and I didn’t feel that way about him, but I did. I really did and it was hard for me to say it out loud, but even harder for me to deny it. I wanted him so badly.
“I am with someone now Leo. Carlos and I are together.”
His jaw tightened and I could tell that he did not like that reminder one bit, but it was literally all I had to hold on to at the moment. I liked Carlos, I really did, but there was something missing. Maybe it was only the fact that he was not Leo. It was there though and it was hard to imagine being with him in the same way. He didn’t make me feel like Leo did. He was a great guy, but he was not the one for me. Seeing Leo now just made me realize it even more and I can’t say that I liked that truth. He was kind and gentle. I should have wanted to be with him, but there was just something missing that I couldn’t control.
Leo acted like he knew and he smirked a little bit. I didn’t like that look and I wished that I didn’t feel the way I did. Carlos was a really great guy, but I knew that I was going to end up hurting him and I didn’t see any way around it. I didn’t love him, but did that mean that I loved Leo?
“Carlos is a good man, but I can’t see the two of you being happy. He can’t make you feel the way I can make you feel Celia.”
“We were only together one night Leo. Don’t you think you are over compensating and your ego is taking over? There is no way that we are what you think we are together.”
He sighed and I could tell that he was getting to the point that he was going to make me see his way. I wanted to. I wanted him to just tell me that I was his and that was that. It would have been so much easier, but there was another part of me that was afraid of that as well. Being with Leo was like a rollercoaster and it had been a long time. I wanted back on the ride, even though I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to get off again. Everything with Leo was terrifying.
“I think you are making this harder than it has to be. You wouldn’t have picked this spot and this restaurant if you didn’t know it was true.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean come back to my place and we can sort this all out.”
I shivered from his words ad I hated myself for doing it. I didn’t want to think that he was right, but he was. I knew that if I went down that that route, there was no going back. I wanted him and even the idea of him touching me was enough to make me tremble inside.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
He grinned at me and again I saw the problem coming towards me. It didn’t look good and if he wanted to push it, I was going to be in for real trouble. As he made his way out of the booth and back to my side of the table, I knew I had already lost. There was no other way around it.
“What are you doing?”
Leo just smiled and didn’t say anything. “I am proving the point that I am trying to make. We both know that you are not going to admit what we are to each other, so it looks like I am going to have to remind you.”
He moved to kiss me and I felt the need rise up in me almost immediately as our lips met. He knew my weakness and my weakness was him.
I didn’t push him away, even though I knew that I should have. I didn’t care that everyone was watching us. What I cared about was how he made me feel when our lips met and how incredibly soft they still were. I could only think about the passion behind it and how I was melting again him. This was a disaster and only when that thought ran through my head did I push him back and take a deep breath.
“Please Leo. Not here.”
“Come back to my place Celia. I want you so badly and I know that you want me as well. Let’s start the holiday celebration right.”
“We shouldn’t.”
“You are mine now. You are having my baby and I want to be with you.”
It was the first thing he had said about the baby, but I wasn’t thinking about that right now. My lips were tingling from his touch and I lifted my hand up to really feel the touch. What was I supposed to do?
“But I am with someone.”
“No you aren’t. You are with me. Carlos knew that he had lost when we talked. He knows that you are mine.”
I was afraid that he was right and it was the last thing that I wanted to do. I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want to be the one that made him like me, untrusting and bitter, but I knew I was going to be. I needed Leo. I didn’t need Carlos. It was a hard fact to really think about, but it was true.
“This isn’t a good idea.”
“I will keep kissing you until you come with me. It is a good idea; it is the only thing that makes sense. I need you Celia. Don’t make me wait any longer. You tried to stay away from me, but we are meant to be together. Can’t you see that?”
I was at a loss of what to say, but I knew that I had already made up my mind. I wanted him, badly and he was the only man that made me feel this way. I could fight it if I wanted to, but it was really going to do me no good. The only thing that was going to do me well was to just accept it. It did feel like fate just kept dragging us back to each other and it seemed pointless to waste any more time trying to fight it.
“Fine Leo. I will come back to your place, but I am not promising you anything.”
The grin on his face said it all and I was worried. I was going back down the rabbit hole and again, it was because I couldn’t resist him. I had never considered myself weak, but maybe I was. Maybe I wanted to be with Leo and that was what I liked about him the most.
He paid the check after tracking down the waitress and took my hand in his and led me out. It almost felt like he was afraid to let me go and it made me smile to myself. Could he really feel like I did?