Chapter 6
Dennis
I got into work Monday in a bad mood. I don’t know what I was doing here early, but I was restless and needed to get my mind off of everything else. So here I was and again I regretted the decision to get an early start. The only saving grace was that Peggy wasn’t in yet. That meant that I had to get my own coffee and I made my way to the breakroom. I can’t say the last time I have been in here, but it looked smaller with several people crowding around the coffee machines.
“You should have seen her. She was gorgeous last night. I thought she was in hot in yoga pants, but this dress. I don’t know. It took me a year to nail her down, but it was worth it. God, Kendra was so worth it in the end.”
Mark was talking about some rendezvous he had the night before and it wasn’t anything that I hadn’t heard before. It was the name that caught me off guard and I moved to see what he was showing the others on his phone. I didn’t want to believe that he had my Kendra. Not after she had blown me off so perfectly, not giving me the chance to say anything. I looked at Mark and I just couldn’t see it.
“Oh, sorry Dennis. I didn’t see you in here.”
He covered his phone and then pushed a button to get the picture off of it. Mark looked like he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and he was worried about what it was that I was going to do. I didn’t plan to do anything, but with all eyes on me, I couldn’t ask to see the picture or show much interest in it. I am the boss after all. I didn’t need the questions that would come with such interest. I didn’t want to believe it anyways.
“No problem, carry on. I am just here to get some coffee until Peggy comes in.”
“I can go down and get you some from the shop if you would like. The coffee here sucks.”
He stopped when he realized what he said, but I could tell from the smell of the coffee in the cup I was holding that it wasn’t going to be very good. I didn’t want to seem picky, so I told him that I was good. I thanked him and went back to my office, still thinking about Kendra. I don’t know if I was hearing things or just losing my mind, but it was like a conspiracy to drive me crazy.
I opened the app and still the request was pending. I was sick of seeing it like that. I was going to have to figure something out. I was going to have to make her see me again. If she was going out with guys like Mark, why wouldn’t she see me? She was single and so was I. It just made sense that we reconnect after all of this time.
Aggravated, I decided that I was going to have to take another route. I knew where she worked and against my better judgment, I decided that I was going to take a drive down there and see her for myself. I missed her and if I had to track her down, I was going to do what was necessary to see her, even if it meant me getting out on a limb to do it. That was usually a no-no in my world.
I had Peggy hold all of my calls for lunch. If I was going to find Kendra, I didn’t need business getting in my way. It is becoming clear to me what matters and what doesn’t. Right now, business was going to take a back seat.
I got the address from the file I had started on her and I put it into my GPS. Usually I would have a driver take me, but I didn’t want anyone to witness what was going to happen next. I was nervous that she wouldn’t want to see me. I know that I would be crushed, but I still had to try. I blamed Bobby once more for putting her in my mind, but there was a giddiness that I felt and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I hadn’t felt like this in ten years and I wanted that feeling back.
The place was not at all what I had expected. I had a feeling that this was for girls and teens that got in trouble. The building was in a bad part of town and the outside looked to be a mess. I started to hope that I had my information wrong and that she didn’t really work here. How could she? I didn’t like the idea of it at all and I was worried that something would happen to her in a place like this. The Kendra I remembered was delicate and didn’t belong in a place that looked like this one did. Link didn’t seem to be good enough for her, not in my eyes.
I sent the request again, just to see if this time I would get lucky. I didn’t and I finally got out of the car to see if I could find her. I didn’t expect the locked door when I got there, but there was an intercom out front. I pushed the button with a slightly trembling finger and waited for the verdict. Why was I so nervous all of a sudden? I was rich and got anything that I ever wanted. No one told me no, except Kendra. She had told me no when I had asked her to move with me. It was selfish by any stretch of the imagination, even for me then, I see that now, but she told me no flat out. No one ever did that and the knowledge that it was a real possibility made it one hundred times worse.
What if she did that again and I was left standing here on this very stoop with my hat in my hands? I didn’t like the idea of it, not at all and I took a step back with the thought. I had lost her once and I didn’t want to think of doing it again. I was in the wrong back then, I could see it now, but how would she respond to me? I worried about that and it almost was enough worry to have me leave and never know the outcome. But I knew I would always wonder about it and I didn’t want to go through life. Once Bobby brought her up, this was a culmination of that. I had to know what was going on with her to set my mind at ease.
“Hello?”
“Hi, I am here to see Kendra?”
“What is this regarding?”
I panicked a little inside, not sure what to say. “I am an old friend and I heard that she was working here. I just wanted to catch up or leave a message if she is busy.”
It wasn’t like me to give up so easy or to take no for an answer. Everything that had to do with Kendra made me feel so unsure and made me act differently, even now, ten years later. What kind of spell did she have over me?
“Okay, hold on a minute.”
The man’s voice sounded strange and I looked up at the building, half-expecting to see someone looking down at me to see who I was. They didn’t ask, so I was curious what would happen next. What sort of place was that and if Kendra wasn’t standing there by the intercom, why did the man on the other side sound so funny?
“She is not available right now. Can I take a message?”
I groaned inwardly and told the man my name. He didn’t make another comment, so I walked away, looking up right before I got in the car. I could have sworn that I saw someone standing up there and I could have guessed that it was Kendra, but I wasn’t sure. I heard a ding on my phone, one that I knew quite well b now and I am ashamed to say that I was scared to open the app. I didn’t want another rejection from Kendra. I didn’t know if my pride could take it.
Driving back to the office, I felt a heavy cloud over me. It felt like I wasn’t able to think straight and I should have gone home. I didn’t have too many meetings today and none of them were in from out of state, so it could all be rescheduled if needed. I should have went home, but I went back to work, the only thing that kept my mind busy enough. It was what I had been doing for years and my one real coping mechanism. I had buried myself in work that I didn’t want, so I wouldn’t think about what I had lost or what was missing in my life. I tried to find it in between the legs of random women, but it did me no good. It was never what I wanted.
Peggy jumped me when I got to the office. She had a lot of messages for me to handle and I did, one by one until I was at the end of the stack. I had done everything I could to avoid the phone in my pocket that still chirped from time to time to tell me that I had a message to look at.
When I finally did open the app, I was surprised that my request had finally been granted. I felt like I had won the lottery or something of the sort. She had messaged me back, asking how I was. It was generic at best, but it was something.
Now to figure out what it was that I was going to say.