Kara
Work has been good and has kept my mind busy recently. Liam has been a great help and has jumped in to serve Molly the couple of times she’s been to the store. She tried to apologise to me, but I wasn’t ready to put a plastic smile on my face and pretend that I forgive her for what she did. She knew what she was doing when she gave me that scan picture. I might be a woman, but I can admit that we can be manipulative and devious. That’s exactly how I feel about her. I don’t know how to put it, but I just get this feeling when I’m around her. It’s funny because we got on in the beginning. Then she gave me that picture and warning bells went off in my head that she’s a bit…I can’t put my finger on the right word. I know I have to pull up my big girl panties eventually. I know I have to face her and make my peace with her if I want to keep Reid as a friend. They may not be together but I don’t think he’d take it well if I am constantly seething at the mother of his child. But that’s a thought for another day. Today, I’m sorting out another author signing for Chapter & Verse. Or at least I’m trying to. The author I want to come for a signing has an assistant in charge of the questions that I can or can’t ask. I wrote out a list of questions and she asked me to email them to her, so I did. But she struck off a few of the questions and now I’m trying to think of other things to fill the gaps. My head isn’t exactly in the game as my thoughts stray to Reid. I can’t help picturing those gorgeous green eyes and the ink that trails over his muscles. I want so much to tell him how I feel, but how the hell am I supposed to do that when he’s already had one bombshell dropped on him? I need to find a way. I won’t be happy until I at least try.
I thought that being with Sawyer would help eradicate how I felt for Reid. But it seemed to have the opposite effect. I love him more now. My feelings make me feel vulnerable, but I can’t live life knowing that I didn’t even try. What is it they say about nothing ventured, nothing gained?
***
After work, I decided a night out was in order. Zoey might not be able to drink on account of the baby, but she was still up for a night out when I text her. She said something about cabin fever, and needing to get out of the house. I know Zo and her impatience. She’s about ready for the baby to be here already and it’s bound to be driving her crazy.
“Finally,” I call as I see Zoey waddle into The Salamander. She looks radiant. Pregnant women really do have a glow about them and I have to say it really suits her.
“Hey, sorry I’m late.”
She kisses both my cheeks and pulls me in for a hug, although it’s kind of awkward considering the size of her baby bump.
“I started without you,” I say as I sit and raise my wineglass to my lips.
“So I see.”
She gestures at the rather large glass I have in my hand.
“Long day,” I sigh.
Zoey goes to the bar and orders herself something non-alcoholic, then she’s back at the table and ready for some girly gossip.
I tell her about work and how good a friend Liam has become. When she was with Reid, we didn’t see much of Jason and Liam. It may or may not have had something to do with the fact that Zoey was a grade-A bitch. She’s mellowed now that she’s in a good place in her life and is definitely less high-maintenance than she’s ever been.
The topic of conversation steers towards Reid, and although I try to distract her, she wants to know what’s going on—or should that be not going on—between us. I don’t know if he’s told her about the baby, and it really isn’t my story to tell. So I tell her that Liam set us up on a blind date which ended up in us shouting at him. She laughed a proper belly laugh when she heard what Reid said to him. It’s good seeing my friend smile so much, and when she subconsciously touches her bump every so often, I try not to dwell on the fact that Molly will soon be doing the same thing.
“You’re going to be godmother to this baby, right?” she asks as she sips her diet Pepsi.
“Of course I am,” I exclaim as I clink my glass to hers.
A little of my wine sloshes over the rim of my glass and I realise that I may be a little tipsy.
“And you’ll be maid of honour at the wedding?”
“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”
She plans to marry Brock when she’s lost the baby-weight. She wants to look good in her photos, and although that might seem like the vain side in her rearing its ugly head, I know it isn’t really. Every woman deserves to look and feel special on their big day, and Zoey is no different.
We talk a while longer before I decide it’s time I went home.
“Ooh looky who just walked in,” Zo says in a sing-song voice.
I look to the door and see Reid walking in ahead of Jase and Liam. Great. I’m now back to staring and drooling over the very guy I was hoping to avoid.
“I’d best be getting home, Zo, I have work in the morning.”
I try to stand, but Zoey stops me as she grabs hold of my wrist and gives my arm a little jerk, indicating for me to stay put.
“Come on, Zo, I gotta call it a night.”
“Oh no, you can’t escape that easily. Stop blushing and go talk to the guy.”
“Zo, he likely hasn’t even seen me.”
“So go and let him know you’re here.”
She pouts her lips, as if that’s going to persuade me. But then she throws in the puppy-dog eyes for good measure and she knows I’m not leaving just yet.
“I’ll go to the bar and get us some more drinks, although I think you should stick to soft drinks too.”
Walking over to the bar, she waves over at the boys and they begin to head our way.
“Hey!” Liam calls out as he sees me and comes over to kiss me on the cheek.
“Hi,” I say as he takes what was Zoey’s seat opposite me.
I feel a little nervous as I hear Jason behind me and know that Reid can’t be too far away.
“Hey Kara,” Jason says as he takes the seat to my left.
“Hey Jase.”
I force a plastic smile on my face as he links hands with Liam. I really wish I had the kind of happiness they do. I mean, they are sickeningly happy. After a few years together, they are still like a new couple…always holding hands, kissing, and giving each other doe-eyed looks.
“Kara,” Reid says as he takes the seat to my right.
Liam stands and grabs an extra chair for Zoey as she makes her way back to the table. He squeezes it into the small space between him and Reid, forcing Reid to scoot his chair closer to me. My palms start to sweat and I rub them on my jeans.
“So what’s new, guys?” Zoey asks as she sits and hands me my Pepsi—I guess she meant it when she said I should stick to soft drinks.
The guys fill her in on what’s new with them and the conversation turns to Reid and the subject of Molly. He tells Zoey about the baby, and the look of shock on her face says it all. She looks at me, and something on my face must confirm something in her head, because she shakes her head almost imperceptibly.
***
Reid offered to drive me home, as he wanted to leave earlier than the guys, and Zoey was heading back to Brock. We’re sat in traffic with the radio playing quietly in the background. We make idle small talk, but I’m nervous just being around him. I hope he can’t tell that I seem to have a slight tremor in my hands and my heartbeat seems to be drowning out the music. An old song comes on and my heart constricts.
“You have a beautiful voice,” Reid says, pulling me back into the here and now.
I hadn’t even realised I was singing along. I feel my cheeks flush at his compliment, but also at the thoughts and desires the song stirred within me.
“Thank you. Delta sings it better though,” I say softly.
“You’d give her a run for her money.”
The traffic begins to move at a better pace and I can’t wait to be behind closed doors. I’m embarrassed, and definitely not admitting that I was thinking of Reid as I sang along with the lyrics. I haven’t heard the song in a while, but “Will You Fall For Me” has always been somewhat a favourite song of mine. I have a sort of love/hate relationship with it. I adore it but I can’t hear it without tears pricking my eyes and growing a lump in my throat.
As soon as Reid pulls up outside my house, I thank him for the lift, and all but run for my front door. I’m sure he thinks I’m crazy, but I couldn’t sit in the car a moment longer with him. I looked at him and all I wanted to do was kiss him. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair and feel those full lips crash down over mine. I think of what it would be like for his tongue to invade my mouth and his smell to take over my senses as we lose ourselves to the building passion between us. But of course, that’s all just a fantasy. My feelings surely aren’t reciprocated.