The next morning came earlier than Chris thought it would. The nurses coming in and out to check on Sam through the night prevented him from getting much sleep, but he wanted them to keep an eye on her. A very close eye. He didn’t know if he heard them every time they came in or not but at least it seemed that way.
He got up from the cot and checked on her himself—she was sound asleep. He hoped she was dreaming something peaceful. When she woke up she’d probably be in pain and emotional. Hopefully, not too bad, but he knew it would be understandable. With what she’d been through anyone would be emotional. He noticed Tonya wasn’t in the room and figured she had gone to the cafeteria for something.
That was when he saw a note lying on the small table next to the bed. In it, Tonya let him know she had to go home, but would be back later to check on her. She asked him to tell Sam she loved her if she woke up.
Chris decided to go downstairs to the cafeteria and as he walked to the elevator could begin to feel exhaustion setting in. He hadn’t eaten in hours and was feeling the effects from neglecting his growling stomach. He chose a simple meal—a bagel with cream cheese and a coffee. He got some Tylenol while he was there in case his headache returned. He didn’t want to stay away from Sam very long so he took his meager meal back upstairs.
When he returned to Sam’s room he sat next to her and ate quietly. It was still very early in the morning and the sun itself was still not awake. He had noticed when he left and came back how quiet the hallways were. It was good to know employees tried to be respectful when everyone was sleeping.
Even though the amount of staff was minimal at that hour, there were still soft sounds of computers and conversations lingering in the antiseptic air. Once in a while he could hear the slight squeaking of the tiny wheels of a janitorial cart rolling on the linoleum floors.
The blinds were cracked so he could stare out the window if he wanted to. If he took a moment, he could see the sky was clear and the stars were glittering brightly. It seemed there was a ripple effect the way they danced around from one to the other. On such a clear morning, you wouldn’t even have to try very hard to find a few of the constellations.
But he didn’t take a moment to appreciate any of the nightly wonders. His attention was fully on his wife. The woman of his dreams who he almost lost. At that moment, she was all that truly mattered to him.
A nurse walked in and disturbed the silence, although she barely made a sound. She only smiled at him, did what she had come for, and disappeared from the room.
Gratitude once again filled him and he thought about writing something he could read to her later. He enjoyed writing poetry once upon a time and occasionally something would come to mind. She had always enjoyed hearing him read what he wrote so if she could hear him he knew she would love that.
He went to the desk and asked if they could spare some paper and a pen, then walked back into Sam’s room. He sipped his coffee as his tired brain began forming words and he jotted them down. Writing had always come easy for him even though he was surprised by it. He hated English in high school and barely passed. Somehow, he was good at it as if it were some sort of gift. After about an hour he held the paper in front of him and admired the words from his heart. He read it to himself and thought she would like it.
Princess
I can’t even begin to count how many blessings I’ve had
How many sights and sounds to grace my life
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard laughter
That brought a smile to my heart
Nor can I remember the vast fields of flowers
The sunrises and sunsets that paint the skies
The stars at night and the bright moon
That all light up our lives
What I can recall though is the first time I saw you
The first time I heard you laugh
The first sparkle in your eyes when we talked
The first kiss that stole my heart
You are a Princess in my mind
A delicate flower that will forever bloom
You are an angel that graced so many lives
A true gift from a Higher One above
I love you Princess as so many do
You hold a special place in my heart
You are immortal as if you were among royalty
You are the brightest out of all stars.
***
His head was hanging to the side when his eyes began to slowly creak open. A sharp pain coursed through his neck causing him to wince. He could feel wetness on the right side of his face and knew he had been drooling. He wiped it off with the palm of his hand and looked over toward Samantha.
Immediately, he bolted from the chair that had obviously become a makeshift bed and again pain shot through him. That time it soared up his spine from sitting in an awkward position, but it didn’t stop him from running to the nurses’ desk.
“Where’s my wife? Did something happen to her?” he frantically asked an older nurse with green eyes and purple hair with pink dyed tips.
She shook her head and calmly told him what was going on.
“She’s okay, Mr. Tyler. She was scheduled for a couple of tests. She won’t be gone long. The doctor has ordered several tests while she’s here to keep track of how her heart is doing.”
Breathing easier, Chris grinned and said, “Oh, okay. Sorry; I had fallen asleep and when I woke up she was gone. I didn’t know what was going on. I can’t believe I didn’t hear her being taken out.”
“No worries,” she said. “It’s understandable and you were out like a light which is also understandable. Go get some coffee or something if you want. When they bring her back I’ll tell her you went downstairs. It’ll be a little while. Oh, and I took the liberty of telling the kitchen to bring you something for breakfast when they come up.”
Surprised by her kindness he thanked her again and went back into the room. He didn’t feel like waiting so he took her suggestion and went for some coffee. Instead of taking the elevator he walked down the stairs so he could work out some of the kinks in his neck and back.
The cafeteria was full of commotion when he got there. He didn’t realize it until he looked at the clock on the wall but it was already 7:00. The place smelled like eggs and sausage and he was hungry, but he remembered the nurse telling him she ordered something. He got his daily fill of caffeine, paid, and took the elevator back to Sam’s room.
The room was still vacant when he returned so he turned on the television only to drown out the growing noise in the hall. It was shift change and the staff were no longer trying to hide conversations and bustling about. He hoped it wouldn’t be too much longer before they brought Sam back. He missed her terribly and wanted to talk to her. He thought about his mother and wondered if she would be awake yet. Most likely she would already be sitting at the kitchen table thinking about fixing his father something to eat.
He pulled his cell phone from his shirt pocket and dialed his mother’s number. He waited and heard each ring that seemed to be more amplified than usual. He was beginning to think she wasn’t up yet when she answered right before the voicemail clicked on.
“Good morning, son. How are you and Samantha?”
His mother loved Samantha like her own daughter and it was going to hurt her to hear what he had to say.
“Hey Momma. I have some bad news. I’m sorry to tell you this so early in the morning, but Sam’s in the hospital again. She was having problems with her heart and they had to operate on her yesterday.”
There was no easy way of saying it and when the words left his mouth they had an awful taste. Before his mother answered he heard her gasp; he imagined she grabbed her heart as if it really did hurt.
“Oh son! Why didn’t you call me last night? Oh, my goodness!”
“Momma, there was so much happening and I was having a difficult time with all of it I just didn’t think. I’m sorry. Junior and Tonya were here with me through it all. They eventually went home and I am staying here with Sam.”
“How is she? What has the doctor told you?”
Chris explained everything to his mother as best he could and in terms she would understand.
“Right now, she’s downstairs somewhere having some tests done. She should be back up soon though. I thought I would call you while she was doing that.”
“Well, I’m glad you did call and let us know what’s going on. I’ll tell your father for you if you want me to and we will certainly be praying for her.”
“Thanks, and yes, please tell him for me.”
“Do you need us to come up there? Do you need anything at all?”
He took a deep breath. It felt as ragged as he had ever experienced before.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I think we will be fine, but at the moment I’m stressed and tired and I don’t know what to do. I know I have a lot of calls to make. I might have to hire a nurse to help take care of her.”
“Oh, no you don’t need to do that! I can come up there and help. Besides, I have nothing really going on for a while down here. I mean she would be more comfortable with me than some stranger. Let me ask your father when he gets up and see what he says about it, okay?”
“Okay, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. Tell Sam we love her, won’t you?”
“I will. She loves you, too.”
They ended their call with the promise to talk again in a few hours for an update on how Sam was doing. He smiled at how his mother was on the phone. He didn’t know if Sam would let her come up and help or not, but he knew agreeing with her had been the right thing to do for now. He stood looking out the window, watching people walking in the parking lot when he heard someone behind him. He turned and saw an orderly pushing Sam back into the room and his heart leaped with mixed emotions.
Her eyes met his and his heart hurt for her as if it was being ripped in two. She looked exhausted and scared, but when she saw him he saw a slight ripple of happiness come over her. He did his best to smile, but knew it looked forced. The orderly set the bed in place, a nurse hooked everything back up in its rightful place, and the two of them were left alone.
“Hey, princess. I’ve been right here waiting for you.”
Her breathing was slightly labored and he thought about her lungs as well as her heart.
“Can you talk or are you too tired, baby?”
She lifted one of her arms and removed the breathing tube long enough to speak for a few minutes. Her eyelids fluttered. He didn’t know if it was from the pain meds or from being tired or both.
“I…am…sorry, Chris,” she whispered hoarsely to him.
“Why, baby? You didn’t do anything wrong. You have nothing to be sorry about.”
Hearing her say that to him almost brought him to tears.
“I love…you, Chris.”
“I love you, too. Always and forever.”
“God…will get…us through…this. Believe.”
Her words were strained and as much as he wanted to talk with her, he knew she shouldn’t tire herself out.
“Baby, don’t. Rest for now. We can talk more when you are feeling stronger. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
She nodded and put the breathing tube back in between her lips. Barely a minute later she was asleep. He thought about her last words and hoped she was right. He hoped God would get them through this. He didn’t think he could live without her. He didn’t think he would want to.