2000
“I can’t breathe! You’re choking me!” She started to cough and sputter. After she was good and scared, really scared, Tommy relaxed his grip on her throat.
“I did it for all of us, Tommy.” Sarah Jo clutched at her throat and backed away toward the stairway.
Moments ago, he’d practically shoved her inside her front door, kicking it closed behind them and pushing her up against the wall. He controlled his rage now. For the moment.
“Call your office and tell them you can’t come in today,” he said. His voice was calm. Dead calm.
Sarah Jo shivered. “Look, Tommy, I can’t call in sick. You have no idea what I have going on today. We can talk about this tomorrow, the next day, whenever you want.” She tried not to show her fear as she straightened her blouse and retucked her clothing.
But her attitude sent Tommy over the edge.
“Call them now, dammit!” He screamed at her, and she literally jumped back, fear pulsing through her once again. She’d never seen Tommy lose his temper. Never. She didn’t even know if she could trust him right now.
She didn’t think she’d ever been so scared.
Jo fished in her purse for her cell phone, eyes still on Tommy. Then, with her back to him, she dialed a number.
“Hi, it’s me,” she said, affecting a weak voice. “Uh, listen, sorry, but I’m going to need you to cancel all of my appointments today. I was ready to walk out the door and had to run back to the bathroom. I don’t know what hit me, but I am so sick.” There was a pause in the conversation. “No, I think it’s a bug. I threw up my breakfast and now I have a blazing headache. I just have to lay down.” Another pause. “No, I’ll be okay. I just got off the phone with my friend, Tommy. He’s stopping by on his way to work to drop off something for my headache. I don’t have anything in the house.”
She looked back over her shoulder at Tommy then, and he rolled his eyes. She snapped the phone shut, then motioned for him to take a seat on the couch.
He did, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Nice move, Jo. Dropping that little hint that your friend Tommy was stopping by. I guess that’s in case I decide to kill you, so the police will know who to go after. You should write crime novels for a living.”
“Oh, just shut up, Tommy. Just shut up.”
“I am shutting up. And you’re going to spill it.”
She stood on the other side of the coffee table, facing him. And told him everything.
Ten minutes later, Tommy couldn’t take it anymore. He was ready to explode with anger.
“You are going to stand there and tell me you had Willow send Darryl to rape, beat, and almost kill Ginny for you and me and her? To be fucking helpful? That you somehow convinced poor Moe to assist you? You are delusional, Jo. You are fucking insane if you think I am going to believe that.”
“Yes, Tommy, that’s exactly why I did it. But he wasn’t supposed to hurt Ginny.” Jo’s eyes were red. “He was supposed to just deliver her back to the police. You aren’t listening to me. I didn’t hate Ginny. I loved Ginny! I loved you, too, Tommy. But Grizz? I hated Grizz.” Venom laced her words.
“And it never occurred to you that Willow’s hatred of Ginny might have resulted in what actually happened to her? You knew that by getting Willow to help you, you were risking Ginny’s life, Jo. You knew that damn well.”
“No! I didn’t know that! I thought Willow would’ve been just as happy to see her returned and away from Grizz. I didn’t know she hated Ginny enough to have someone almost kill her.”
“That is bullshit, Jo! You knew Willow despised Ginny. I don’t care if it’d been years. Ginny was the reason Grizz tossed her out on her ass. How could you not even suspect it could’ve turned out as bad as it did?”
She didn’t answer him. Her shoulders were shaking now, and she gripped her thighs to control herself.
“Moe said in her journal that someone named Wendy told her that Grizz had taken something from her. So. What did Grizz take from you, Jo?”
“Journal?” She looked genuinely bewildered. “And what did Grizz take from me? Are you serious, Tommy? He took my father. He took my mild mannered, sweet loving father who could never even bring himself to spank his own kids. He paid my father to keep his ledgers or whatever it was Dad did for him. Do you know how many times over the years our home was raided by the police looking for those stupid ledgers?”
Tommy didn’t expect this. He knew there was a certain price to pay for being associated with Grizz, but he hadn’t realized that it had affected Sarah Jo so much.
But he forced himself not to cave. A raid was nothing compared to what had happened to Ginny. And all because of Jo.
“An occasional raid?” Tommy snorted. “I know that’s tough if you’re not used to it, but it couldn’t have been that bad. Especially if they never found anything. They must’ve eventually backed off.”
“Okay, so how about the fact that my father went to the motel to fuck a two-bit, good for nothing, mute whore?” she screamed at him. “And after she died, another one started coming around! Trying to act like she was better than a used-up piece of biker shit. Trying to act like she was the lady of our house. Chicky had the audacity to come to my home and cook for my father like she could ever replace my mother.”
Jo stood up then and strode to the window. “That’s what Grizz took from me, Tommy,” she said, her voice soft now, so soft he had to strain to hear her. “He took the father that wouldn’t have given Moe or Chicky the time of day because he knew what it was like to be with a real lady. My mother was a class act and because of Grizz my father stooped to eating out of garbage cans.”
She was breathing heavy now, her face turning a dull, deep red. Tommy could only stare in disbelief. He never knew Sarah Jo had so much hostility for Grizz or the group. Especially for Chicky and Moe. He understood her pain. But he couldn’t understand her hatred. Chicky and Moe might not have been ladies, but they weren’t bad people.
Tommy raised an eyebrow. “If it weren’t for Grizz, you and your family would’ve been living out of your car. You do know that your father was on the brink of bankruptcy, right? He was going to lose his house. Your mother’s illness devastated him financially.”
Her face turned even redder now, if that was possible. “How dare you!” she yelled. “How dare you accuse my mother of being the reason my father had to earn extra money to feed us and keep a roof over our heads by rubbing elbows with the lowest form of scum in this city. My mother was perfect! She was perfect in every way!”
Jo was yelling so hard she was losing her voice. A slow thin line of blood trickled from her nose. She used her arm to swipe across her face. Tommy jumped up and ran to the kitchen, quickly returning with a dishtowel. He blotted at her nose, then roughly guided her back to the couch.
It was obvious to Tommy Sarah Jo had some serious issues. Issues she’d kept bottled up for years. Apparently he’d just witnessed what happens when you try to pretend that a volcano will remain dormant.
He swallowed as he waited for her to regain control of her emotions. He never knew. Never even suspected she resented Fess’s involvement with the gang.
Turning to face her now, he asked, “Why did you have Darryl attack Ginny? Why, Jo?”
Her shoulders slumped as she absentmindedly reached for her necklace, nervously fidgeting with the pendant that dangled between her breasts. “I already told you, he wasn’t supposed to hurt her, Tommy. I love Ginny. I swear on my mother’s grave I had no intention of anyone getting hurt. In a million years I never thought Willow would incite Darryl to do what he did. I really thought she’d be happy to have Ginny dropped off at the police station. And then Grizz would get in trouble, real trouble. Maybe do some time. My intentions were not hate-filled, Tommy.”
She whispered the last part, her eyes filled with tears now, any remaining anger forgotten for the moment.
“Yes, they were, Jo,” he said gently but firmly. “You may not have realized it, but you did hate. You hated Moe because your father cared for her. You hated Grizz. And you may have thought you were getting Grizz back by taking Ginny away, but your hatred went far deeper than you cared to admit.”
They were quiet a moment, then something else dawned on him. “Fuck, Jo. Now that I think about it, you gave Ginny a really hard time about naming Mimi after Moe. You raised a fit over her name, saying it was old fashioned, that the baby would grow up to hate it. It was you who hated it. I should have sensed something way back then. I just trusted you too much.”
Sarah Jo ignored the last comment. “She wasn’t supposed to get hurt. It was supposed to be simple: Grizz goes to jail. Ginny goes home. You could have been with her then. Everybody would have been happy. Don’t you see how I was looking at it?”
“I want to see it, but I can’t. You do realize you are responsible for your best friend’s torture, rape, and near death? And you are as guilty of Moe, Willow, and Darryl’s deaths as if you’d killed them yourself.”
She didn’t answer him, but just stared at the wall. He was right. She’d lived with that guilt all these years, masking it as best she could. But it would never go away.
“And the Chicky you accused of caring for your father actually saved you.”
This caught Sarah Jo’s attention. She cast a wary glance.
Tommy looked at her steadily. “You never asked how I found out it was you, Jo. After Moe died, Chicky found her journal and she read it. And she recognized something in it that Grizz might’ve recognized, too. When Moe wrote about being contacted by Wendy, she wrote that Wendy said it would be ‘tit for tat.’ That’s how I knew it was you. I’ve heard you use that phrase a million times. I guess Chicky heard you say it, too, from those times at your house when she tried to start a relationship with your dad. Moe didn’t recognize the phrase or your voice because you never let yourself anywhere near Moe. She wasn’t good enough for you or your father, so you snubbed her.” Tommy rubbed at his eyes. “I’m ashamed I never noticed it. She was a good person, Jo. She’d been through a lot. God only knows if you’d ever said it around Grizz, but if you had and he read that journal and recognized it, nothing on earth could’ve protected you from him. I don’t care if you are Fess’s daughter or Ginny’s supposed best friend. Grizz would’ve hung you out to dry and Fess wouldn’t have been able to stop him.”
Sarah Jo swallowed audibly. “I was really rude to Chicky when she used to come to our house,” she said in a small voice. “Nobody would’ve blamed her if she’d showed Grizz the journal or told him what she’d figured out. When did she give it to you?”
“She didn’t,” he answered. “Her daughter brought it to our house after Grizz’s execution. Said that she’d been holding onto it since Chicky’s death a few years ago; said her mother specifically told her to wait until after Grizz died to give it to me and Ginny.”
Sarah Jo sat up a little straighter on the couch. “I guess she’s no angel then, is she? She could’ve gotten rid of it, but no. She hung on to it all this time just so she could hurt me.”
“No, Jo.” His voice sounded tired. All those years, throughout their long friendship, he had no idea this was who Sarah Jo was at heart. “Not so she could hurt you. So that Ginny and I would know the truth about what happened back then. To know the real reason behind Moe’s suicide. Moe killed herself because of guilt. She felt that by helping Wendy, you, she had caused Ginny’s near death.”
“Ginny didn’t die,” Jo protested. “I don’t know why Moe felt she had to kill herself.”
“Sarah Jo, who are you? Are you even hearing yourself? Maybe it wasn’t the only reason Moe killed herself. Maybe she was lonely and sad, and you sure as shit didn’t help with that.”
“And you did? You were so busy slobbering after Ginny and then moving in with Cindy that you forgot about Moe, too. Admit it. She was nothing to you. Not really. Don’t pretend like she actually meant something. Moe was invisible. At least I’m honest about what I thought about her. You’re hiding behind some kind of self-righteous, superior attitude like you cared. Yeah, you cared so much you left her at the motel with that beast when you moved out. I knew he’d gone too far the day I saw him make that poor drifter eat his own puke in my garage. Believe me, I was doing the right thing when I tried to get Ginny away from him. And I don’t care if you tell Ginny. I’ll tell her myself. She’ll forgive me. She loves me and she’ll understand.” Jo sniffed. “Besides, she lived with Grizz. She had to forgive him every day of her life.”
When he spoke, his voice was hard. “No, I don’t think she’ll understand this, Jo. Ever. Do you know the mental anguish she has suffered feeling responsible for Moe’s death? For Willow and Darryl’s deaths? She felt indirectly responsible for all of it, and you’re going to sit there and smugly tell me my wife will forgive you? No. That’s not going to happen. For starters, we’ve been through hell since Grizz’s execution, and I’m not piling one more thing on her.”
“Well, then good.” Jo straightened her shoulders again, like she was trying to tuck everything—all the chaos, all the drama, all the anguish—back into one neat little box. “It’s agreed then that she doesn’t have to know. And we can pretend this conversation never happened.”
She glanced at her watch and started to rise from the couch. “I have just enough time. I can change and still be at the office for my ten o’clock.”
“No.” Tommy stood, too. “You’re not going anywhere, Jo. You are going to spend the morning on the phone with your husband. You are going to convince Stan to take one of those job offers he keeps getting from different countries. I want him to start interviewing before the end of this month.”
A harsh laugh escaped her lips. “You are crazy if you think I’m moving, Tommy. Our life is here. So is my career.”
“Jo, I don’t know what happened to you. I don’t know where you snapped. Maybe it was the actual moment your mother passed away. Maybe it was the day you first discovered your dad was sleeping with Moe. Maybe it was the day you saw some guy eat puke. I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just know I will not let you stay in the same city, state, or country and pretend to be a real friend to my wife.”
“I am her real friend, Tommy.” She crossed her arms. “I’m yours, too.”
“No. I can’t stand to even look at you anymore.”
This took Sarah Jo by surprise. “Fine.” She exhaled slowly. “I’ll break off my friendship with her, but that’s only going to hurt her more.”
“Which is why I want you out of the country. Your friendship will die off slowly. Knowing Gin, she’ll try to keep in contact with phone calls and emails, but you’ll be too busy to get back to her. Just one of those things. People drift apart all the time.”
“You aren’t hearing me, Tommy. I genuinely love Ginny.” Jo’s brow creased. “I genuinely love you and your family. I’m sorry, Tommy. I don’t know how to say it enough. I didn’t do it to hurt her.”
“But you did hurt her, Jo. You did, and you will remove yourself from our lives,” he told her matter-of-factly. “Forever and permanently.”
“She trusts me, Tommy. She called me to cry on my shoulder after she found out Grizz was your father. She wasn’t going to tell me because she was afraid I knew, too, and she didn’t want to think we’d deceived her together. Did you know any of that, Tommy?” She blinked, watching his face. “Doesn’t sound like you’ve been very truthful about things, either.”
Tommy smiled at Sarah Jo. A long, slow smile. But it wasn’t a kind smile. Not at all. As a matter of fact, it was a smile Jo had never seen before.
“Why don’t you say what this is really about, Tommy? Huh? Why don’t you admit why you really want me out of the country? You finally got what you wanted. He’s dead and you have your happily-ever-after with Ginny. I’m a reminder of that old life and you want as far away from that life as possible. Am I right? Why can’t you face…,”
Before she finished her sentence he was gripping her arms tightly, so forcefully it hurt. His face was so close she could feel his warm breath.
“Jo, you should know better than to fuck with me.” His voice was cold as ice. “Especially now that you know whose blood is running through my veins. Get your ass out of town, or you’ll be sorry. This is your one and only warning.”
He walked out the front door without looking back.
Sarah Jo followed him and stood in her doorway as she watched Tommy slip into his car and away from their friendship.
She stared through narrowed eyes, and in barely a whisper, she said, “Yeah, I know whose blood runs through your veins and he’s gone for good. I never realized what an arrogant, scary son-of-a-bitch you could be, Tommy. If I’d known that, then I wouldn’t have tried to help you be with her. It’s me who shouldn’t be fucked with. And I guess you’ll have to learn that the hard way.”
She watched him drive away and closed the door. She had to clean up so she could get to work.