2000, Northern Florida,
Three Days Before Grizz’s Execution
After the walk in the prison yard, they casually made their way back to a room that may or not have been bugged. In the event that it was, Grizz had told him what they would be discussing. Just like he believed that Ginny and Tommy needed to give the NNG something to listen to, he believed he and Tommy had to do the same.
“Why did you even bother with me?” Tommy asked him as they entered the room. “Why did you take me from Karen’s that night? Why did you let me think for years that Blue was my brother? I’d still think it if I didn’t suspect Candy was my mother. I did some investigating after your trial. She was my mother, wasn’t she?”
“Yeah, Candy was your mother, Grunt. She got pregnant with you and dumped you off on her mother and sister, Karen.”
“I knew that much. But how did you find out about me?”
“Your Aunt Karen showed up at The Red Crab with a picture of you when you were about seven or eight. It was a school picture. You must have been in foster care when it was taken because you looked good. Looked cared for.
“Yeah, that’s possible. I was in and out of foster care. Some good, some not so good, but I was fed.”
“Anyway, she insisted that you were mine. Karen said her mom had run off and she didn’t have the money to take care of you. Candy had been long gone. Karen said if I didn’t give her money she would pack up and not be there when you got home from school one day.”
“You gave her money based on a picture of me? If my mother was a prostitute, I could’ve been anybody’s kid.”
“True. But a couple of things made me believe it. First, I thought you looked like me at that age. Second, your birth date was telling. It lined up with a time when Candy was off the streets and staying with me and Anthony in the garage apartment. Red had been trying to get her off the drugs. He dumped her on me and Anthony. Made her a prisoner. We had to take turns not letting her out of our sight. When we weren’t there, Red would stay with her. She definitely wasn’t hooking. Axel was spending a couple of months in juvie so he wasn’t around. He wouldn’t have slept with her, anyway.” Grizz gave Tommy a knowing grin. “But me and Anthony banged her every chance we got. She was willing. Used it to try to convince us to let her back on the streets. We were young and horny little shits. Red let her leave after he thought she was clean.” Grizz shrugged. “I never saw her again. Not until that night she came to the motel looking for you.”
Tommy just stared. He didn’t say anything.
“You sure as hell ain’t half Indian.” Grizz blurted out. Then he shook his head and added, “Hell, maybe you’re not my kid. Maybe I assumed wrong all these years.”
Tommy frowned. “You didn’t assume wrong,” he said softly. “I thought early on you might’ve been my older brother, not Blue. But I didn’t suspect you were my father until we heard the testimony about Candy at the trial. I started digging further then, getting nowhere. It took years to be certain. It wasn’t until about a year ago, when they found Moe, that I thought to have some tests done.” He waited a beat. “Mimi and I share the same DNA.”
Grizz didn’t say anything, just nodded. Tommy thought he saw a flicker of satisfaction pass over Grizz’s face, but he couldn’t be sure.
“So why did you have to kill her when she came to the motel that night?” Tommy pressed on. “All you had to do was tell her to lie and say somebody else was my father and that Blue was her brother or something. Why did you kill her?”
“Didn’t want her stirring up shit. Didn’t want anybody to know you were my kid.”
Tommy laughed. “Come on. Who would’ve cared if I was your kid?”
Grizz stared at him seriously. “I had good reason to kill her. You don’t know how many enemies I’d made over the years who wouldn’t have thought twice about coming after you to get to me. I was saving your life when I killed her.”
“Yeah, whatever, Grizz.” He was playing along now, just like Grizz had told him to. Just in case they were listening. Grizz had explained during their walk that Candy’s sobriety had actually caused her to start digging into her father’s death. She’d started remembering some things Red had said. They had caught wind of it, telling Grizz that if she ever showed up, she needed to be eliminated. Immediately. She was a threat. Grizz was following an order. He was honest with Tommy, though, admitting he’d felt no remorse in killing her. It was just part of the job.
Now in the room, Grizz slammed a hand on the table. “Dammit, Grunt, listen to me. I know you waited a long time to be with Kit. Do you want that to dissolve? Do you want to stir up all the bad shit that I used to be involved in? Blue will stop Leslie from putting in her fucking article that you’re my son.” He ran his hand through his hair and mumbled to himself, “I still can’t believe I let you talk me into it. Fuck! You told me Kit said she needed the closure and I wanted her to have that. I knew the stupid bitch didn’t work for the big magazine she claimed to. I figured it would just fizzle out. I almost didn’t do it until Kit called me.”
This last statement caught Tommy’s attention. He was going off script here. “Ginny called you?”
“Yeah, I had already spoken to you and I was still chewing on it when I heard from her. I almost fucking dropped the phone when I heard her voice. She told me she really needed to do this interview. She felt she hadn’t completely healed from all of those years with the gang, from seeing and knowing the things they did. It was important to her, but the reporter needed more. Needed to talk to me, too, to see she was telling the truth in the interview. Kit was very matter-of-fact. Said I owed her.”
“Grizz, Ginny never called you.”
“Don’t tell me she didn’t call me,” he growled. “I fucking talked to her.”
“Before that, when was the last time you spoke to Ginny?”
“She called me to tell me you named your boy after me. When was he born? Ten years ago? We talked for less than a minute back then.”
Tommy sat there shaking his head. “I cannot believe this. I cannot fucking believe this.”
“What can’t you believe?”
“It’s not your fault. I’ve mistaken them on the phone, too.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“It was Mimi,” Tommy said. “You were duped by Mimi.”
Grizz leaned back and looked at Tommy hard. “Are you fucking kidding me? How do you know that? Why would she do that?”
“I’m not exactly sure, but I’ll find out. She was working Ginny on our end, too. After Leslie came around, Mimi acted very interested. Told her mother maybe it would help her to forget the past. To give the interview as a way to have closure on the gang life. Mimi has withdrawn from us the past few years. Typical teenage stuff, I guess, but I know Ginny saw the article as a way to bond again.”
Grizz got very serious. “I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit. You figure out what the fuck that was all about and fix it. I trusted you with my child. I’ve stayed away for fifteen years believing that you were on top of it. You’re telling me now that Leslie got the interview with me and Kit thanks to Mimi? My time is almost over. You get this fixed, Grunt. You hear me?”
“Yeah, I hear you. It could be nothing, but I’ll make sure I get to the bottom of it.”
The one thing Grizz didn’t tell Tommy was that after Jason had been born, he’d stopped running his own surveillance on Mimi. He’d been able to see some pictures of her growing up, but he’d stopped when Kit moved on with her life and had another baby. The pain was too unbearable.
“Good. And you have to give me something else.” Grizz was now going back to the script they’d discussed in the yard. “You asked me to believe it wasn’t you who set me up. I do. You asked me to understand your deceptions when you were younger and you wanted to be with Kit. I do. I’m giving you that. But I’m telling you that I am going to my death, giving you the freedom to move on with the woman I love. The only woman I have ever loved. Now you have to give me something. Just take care of her and my daughter.” He paused then, looking at Tommy hard. “And my grandson. Take care of all of them. Can you do that?”
“Yeah, Grizz. I can do that.”
“And one more thing,” he quickly added. “Tell Kit— Ginny—I’m sorry. Okay? Tell her I’m sorry for a lot of things, but I’m not sorry for loving her. I’ll never be sorry for that. And she’s not responsible for me being here. She probably thinks it’s because of Jan finding her wallet, but it’s not. I’m here because of the things I’ve done. Not because of her.”
In their bed now, Ginny let out a big sigh. Tommy shook his head free of the memory and pulled her closer. Her scent was intoxicating. He held her in his arms as he breathed her in, remembering how he had loved her from the very first glance. Up until a few weeks ago, she’d thought it was when she was brought to the motel. Then when he’d told her about being with Grizz a few times to check on her, she’d thought it was when she dumped lemonade on Curtis Armstrong’s head. He smiled at that memory.
Then he carefully removed her from his arms and silently made his way downstairs to his office. He flicked on the light and went to his desk. He pulled out a drawer and released a hidden compartment. Then, very quietly, he took out a small box.
The same box he’d had in his dresser the night Grizz came for him. The same box he had kept for the past thirty-two years.
**********
“Hey, new kid? Is it true you don’t have any real parents? That you’re on loan to some loser family who shaved you bald because you were full of bugs?”
There was a round of laughter. Tommy just stared at his library book and pretended not to hear them. It was 1967. He was eight years old.
“Maybe he has bugs in his ears, too, and can’t hear us,” another one piped up. More laughter.
Tommy continued to read his library book and refused to look up. It was morning recess and he was sitting on the ground with his back against a tree. He’d only been in this new school for a day. He didn’t think his foster parents were losers. They were nice people, and he didn’t blame them for shaving his head. He was actually relieved.
He stared at the pages of his book and continued to ignore them. Before he knew what had happened, they swiped it from his hands and pulled him to his feet by the front of his shirt. His first thought was, please don’t rip my new shirt.
But before he could react, the bully had let go of him and was stumbling backwards. Tommy managed to gain his footing. All he could do was stare.
He hadn’t seen her approaching. She was taller than him and had her back to him as she stood over the boy she had just shoved to the ground. With her hands on her hips she said to the boy, “Stop being such a bully, Arthur. Maybe you should try reading a book once in a while.”
Before Arthur could get to his feet, there was a shout from several yards away. “Guinevere! Get over here this minute.”
The girl looked at the three bullies and reluctantly marched toward her teacher.
One of the bullies looked at Tommy. “Better watch your back. Won’t always be a scrawny girl around to fight your battles.”
Before Tommy could reply, Arthur and the other boy had already started walking away. They called over their shoulder, “C’mon, Curtis, we’ll get him later.”
“Guinevere,” Tommy said out loud. He picked up his book and headed for the line at the water fountain.
The rest of his morning wasn’t too bad. He enjoyed his studies and some kids even gave him nice smiles. He wondered which class Guinevere was in. Maybe he would see her in the lunchroom. His class was quiet. They were working on their multiplication tables. He rushed through it very quickly and realized he hadn’t used the restroom all day. He’d been too nervous to go when they went as a class. He stood and slowly approached his teacher.
She looked up with a kind smile. “Yes, Thomas?”
“May I use the restroom, ma’am?”
She nodded and asked if he knew where it was. He told her he did and quietly left the room.
He had left the boys’ room and was heading back to class when he heard her name. Two teachers were talking in a classroom. He slowed down before he passed the door.
“I can see Guinevere is at it again,” one said with amusement in her voice.
“Yes, she does seem to have her nose in everything lately.”
“What’s the latest crusade?”
“Potholders. She’s making potholders to sell because she wants to buy Kenny Schultz new shoes. He’s wearing his brother’s hand-me-downs and they’re too big. He keeps tripping over his own feet.”
Tommy heard the sound of a desk drawer being pulled out.
“Where did she get the money to make potholders? Isn’t she from a needy family herself?” the other teacher asked, bewilderment in her voice.
“I think one of the cafeteria ladies gave her a potholder kit. Said her neighbor’s granddaughter got it as a gift and didn’t want it, so the neighbor asked her if there were any kids at the school who might want it.”
“It’s very sweet that she’s using it to help someone else. Why are you keeping them in your drawer?”
“I feel bad, but it’s school rules. I told her she could only sell them before or after school, and to be quite honest with you, I don’t know how much money she’s going to make charging a nickel each.”
Tommy heard the desk drawer close, and he ducked behind some lockers. He hoped they would come out of the classroom and go the other way.
“C’mon, we better catch up with our classes or we won’t have time to eat lunch,” the one said as they walked out the door and headed in the opposite direction.
Tommy breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn’t been caught eavesdropping. He walked to the door and turned the handle. Unlocked. He quickly ran to the teacher’s desk and opened the top drawer. Nothing. He opened the next drawer, and there he saw them. They were little potholders, all weaved together with different strands of colored fabric. He saw they were in a clear plastic bag, and at the bottom of the bag he could see three nickels. She had sold three. He reached into his pocket and took out the two coins his foster parents had given him for lunch. He carefully picked two potholders out of the bag and tucked them in his shirt. He dropped his thirty-five cents into the plastic bag, returned it to the drawer and gently closed it.
As he headed back to his classroom he felt something he’d never experienced. Happiness. He was happy to do this for Guinevere. He had always been the recipient of either hate from his sister or pity from strangers. He was never in a position to actually give and he liked how it felt. He wasn’t worried about not having any money for lunch. He’d gone hungry before and he would go hungry again today. For her.
Now, in the cool darkness of his office, Tommy sat at his desk and looked at the potholders in his hands. He remembered being disappointed that he’d never gone back to Ginny’s school after that day. Some government worker had decided his home life wasn’t really that awful and couldn’t justify the expense. So he was returned to Karen. He remembered being happy his foster parents had let him keep his new shirt. His smile faded as the bad memories started again, but he immediately stuffed them down with memories of when he’d found her again.
He knew he gasped that day he saw her walking down the street. The day she set up her lemonade stand.
His thoughts were interrupted by her voice.
“What do you have there?” she softly asked.
Tommy looked up, surprised. She was casually leaning in the doorway to his office. How long had she been standing there? He didn’t hear her follow him down the hall. He stared into her big brown eyes and tears started to form in his own.
“I need to tell you about the real moment I fell in love with you, Ginny. I need to tell you about the very first glance.” He looked at her with a love that transcended time. “I’ve waited a long time to give these back to you, honey.”