2000
Ginny silently watched Tommy as he drove them back to Carter’s.
“Don’t say it, Ginny. That asshole had it coming.”
She didn’t say anything. Didn’t know what to say. She’d seen Tommy mad before. She knew he’d nailed a grown man to a fence when he was sixteen. She’d seen him beat the daylights out of those two men at Razor’s. But she could honestly say she’d never seen him show any violence to anybody, not once since she’d married him. Why had he behaved so harshly to Joyner? Why the last minute decision to crush the man’s hand? Was it anger that had been pent up for years and the stress of the last few days that all just made him explode?
She didn’t know what to think, but she did know one thing for certain. If it wasn’t obvious before, it was obvious now that he was his father’s son.
They had talked over dinner. She was still curious about his conversation with Grizz before the execution. She knew she was asking him to repeat himself, but it was important to her to know Grizz died peacefully. Not with any pent-up anger in his heart.
They’d arrived back at Carter’s to find Jason was still out back helping her with the animals.
“He doesn’t even know you left,” Casey said. She gave Ginny a questioning glance. She was curious about Ginny’s last statement before they left for dinner.
“I’ll tell you about it later,” Ginny said, slinging her purse on the counter. “It’s a long story.”
“I’m gonna see if they’re hungry.” Casey slipped out, leaving them alone.
“So you won’t be coming home with me and Jason tonight.” Tommy said quietly.
It was a statement, not a question. She didn’t answer him.
“Ginny, please, honey.” He turned to her. “I know you can’t come home tonight. Maybe you won’t come home this week. But I need to know our marriage is good. That this is just time you need to yourself to absorb all of this. Please, Gin—you’re not concerned about our marriage, are you? We have a solid marriage, right?”
She just stared without saying anything.
“When you come home, I’ll tell you the rest,” he promised. “And I think we should consider moving. We can even leave Florida. Start fresh somewhere new. How about the Carolinas?”
“The rest?” Ginny shot him a look. “And now you have us moving? Tommy, we can’t just pick the kids up and leave. What about school? What about your job?”
“We have enough saved to live comfortably until I get a new job. The kids will be fine. They’ll make new friends in new schools. Ginny, let’s sell this house, too. Let’s get rid of it all and start over. Please.”
They were interrupted by Jason and the women coming in the back door. Jason walked out to the living room where they were standing.
“Aunt Casey’s going to make me a grilled cheese,” Jason said, running to his mother and hugging her tightly around her waist. “You’re coming home tonight, right Mom?” He looked up at her, then over at his father. “You’re both going to come home, right?”
Tommy looked at Ginny with a pleading expression.
Ginny ruffled her son’s hair. “I don’t think so, sweetie. Casey has to head back to her job, and Bill is still going to be gone. Carter sure could use my help.”
Jason was starting to protest when Casey yelled out, “Jason! Come help me with your grilled cheese!”
With a shrug, he closed his mouth and headed for the kitchen.
But Tommy wouldn’t stop wheedling her about coming home. Finally she’d had enough.
“No!” she bellowed, so loud Tommy shot a quick glance toward the kitchen. No one came; they must have gone back outside to eat. “Stop asking me, Tommy. Do you realize I have not made a decision for myself in twenty-five years other than which bookkeeping clients to take on or what to make for dinner or where we’ll go on vacation? Stop badgering me. I’ll come home when I’m good and ready.”
He was so shocked at her outburst, which was rare, that he actually took a step back and just stared at her.
But she wasn’t done. “I have never made a significant or important choice for myself. Not ever. I didn’t choose to be with Grizz. He chose me.” She spat the words. “And I don’t even know what to say about the night I lost my virginity.”
She said the last sentence in a hushed whisper as she looked toward the patio, then back at Tommy. “Yes, I got to go to college, but I always felt like it was on Grizz’s terms, not mine. It took a lot of convincing. I couldn’t go dancing unless Axel took me. I couldn’t do anything by myself. And then, even after he got arrested, he told me to marry you. He guilted me into it. He told me that if I really loved him, I would do it. Don’t get me wrong, it was the right thing. At least I used to think that. Now I’m not so sure. But again, it wasn’t my choice.”
She knew her words cut. She didn’t care.
He knew she was right. There was always somebody, either Grizz or himself, influencing her. Even that day he convinced her to go back to Grizz after finding her at the church involved scheming on his part. He felt a quick stab of guilt.
“If you really want to save our marriage, I’m telling you now you need to give me space.” Her tone was softer now, and she was gazing at him with those big brown doe eyes. “You have just presented me with a list of too-crazy-to-believe stories. Not to mention the knowledge that I’ve been duped over and over again for practically my entire life. And do I believe you about any of them? Honestly, I want to, but I just don’t know, Tommy. Do you understand me?”
He could only nod.
She started filling him in on some household things. Informed him of what she knew was on the schedule for Mimi and Jason. She was glad he’d taken the week off. It would help her to gather her thoughts guilt-free while staying at Carter’s.
She thought of something then, but wasn’t sure if she should bring it up. Curiosity got the best of her.
“Moe’s journal. Have you been reading it?”
“A little.”
“Anything I need to know?” she asked. “Should I read it?”
“Honestly, Gin, I don’t know if you should read it. I don’t know what good it’ll do. So far, it’s nothing really bad, I guess. Not exactly nice, but hey. That’s life.” He gave a small smile. “She keeps talking to someone named Elizabeth.”
“What?”
“Elizabeth. Beats me. All the entries, they all start out the same. ‘Dear Elizabeth.’”
“Did we ever know her mother or sister’s names?”
Before Tommy could reply, Jason‘s voice came from behind them. “Just like the horse!”
Ginny and Tommy turned around.
“What?” Ginny asked him. “What horse?”
“Elizabeth!” Jason said, nodding now. “That’s the name of the brown horse in the picture that’s in your bedroom. The horse has a little ribbon on it, like it won an award or something. The ribbon says Elizabeth. If you look real close, you can see it.”