THIRTEEN

 

The whole thing had been Sheila’s idea, of course. She seemed to itch for things to do, to help, for social time, and Judah couldn’t even deny that it was a good idea. He wanted, after all, for the church to be the center of the town, and that was going to be a lot easier to manage if he knew everyone and if they knew him.

They were calling it a church potluck, but Judah was smart enough to know better. It was nothing more or less than a chance for the town, those of them who hadn’t already met him, to lay eyes on him and to make their decisions about him. It was a chance for him to prove himself, to show these people that he was worthy of the post he’d been given at such a young age.

So no pressure or anything. It was just potentially his future in this town that was at stake.

“I would really like it if you would be there,” Judah had admitted, just the day before, to Will. He had assumed before that Will wouldn’t want to come to a thing like this, but that was before the night that they had spent together. Will had been silent about it, hadn’t commented at all, and Judah had sort of resigned himself to the idea that Will was probably never going to come to a church event.

Or maybe he would, Judah thought, as he let his eyes drift to where Stephen was hanging out with the other kids his age in the town, Ruby and Jesse. Surely even Will wouldn’t refuse to come and see Stephen in the Christmas play. No father could resist that.

The church basement was filled with people, and the snack table was well attended. People were milling around, chattering, laughing, and Judah wasn’t necessarily the best judge of this sort of thing, but so far, at least, it seemed like the get-together was a success.

It seemed like a good chunk of the town had shown up, including, just as Sheila had obviously hoped, quite a few people that Judah had yet to meet. One couple, in particular, caught his eye, a very tall, fairly slender man with shaggy golden brown hair and a shorter, but stockier, man who stood by his side.

They were holding hands, fingers linked as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and Judah found himself staring. The weird thing, though, was that no one else was staring. No one else—even among these people who would choose to come to a church get-together—had so much as blinked when they had walked in.

If anything, they seemed to be quite popular, chatting and laughing as naturally as any of the other couples there. Judah had, he would have to admit, made his assumptions about what a small town in Texas would look like, and it shook him to see these two men.

“That’s my brother, Sammy,” a deep voice said, and Judah turned to look up at a man who looked sort of familiar to him, a man with bright, round green eyes. It took him a moment to place the guy, and while Judah did that, the man was continuing to talk. “And that’s Gunner. His husband. You got a problem with that?”

The words were not said in a particularly confrontational way, but they were a bit challenging, which was fair enough. This man was clearly pretty protective of his brother and wanted to make it clear that he wasn’t going to tolerate any disrespect toward him or his partner.

“No,” Judah said, just as blunt as this man was. He had already told Will, and he would tell anyone else who asked. “I want this to be a place where everyone can feel safe and welcome.”

The tall man’s shoulders relaxed a little, and a hint of a charming grin came over his face. Even though this man was well into middle age, he was definitely handsome, in a tall, broad sort of way.

“Okay. Good. I’m Ben,” the guy introduced, and then, with that name, Judah had him placed. He was the man who had come to pick Ruby up, the one who had smiled but who had looked at him with thoughtful eyes. He remembered Sheila saying his name.

“Ruby’s father,” Judah said, offering his hand, which disappeared into Ben’s big, strong grip.

“Close enough,” Ben agreed, and before Judah had time to wonder just what that meant, another man walked up, his hand unerringly finding the small of Ben’s back, his smaller, more slender body inclining toward Ben.

“Hello,” the newcomer commented, and Judah swallowed, somewhat out of his element, no doubt about it. This town wasn’t that big, and this wasn’t a state known for being particularly welcoming toward gay people. Was he reading the signs wrong?

Before he could reply, before he could even open his mouth, Ben was leaning down and brushing his lips lightly over the other man’s, a sweet, intimate little kiss that really couldn’t be anything but what it was. No, he hadn’t read any signs wrong, which meant that there were, or seemed to be, already two gay couples in town.

He really wouldn’t have expected that.

“This is my husband, Isaac,” Ben introduced, and there was no doubt of the love, the devotion, in those big green eyes. And the way Isaac looked back at him, the way his eyes seemed to shine like twin sapphires, that pure, deep, sincere love was definitely returned.

It felt a little bit strange to Judah, actually, witnessing this. Strange, but good. Even though there were probably different rules for these two than there were for him and Will, and even though he knew that Will didn’t even want what these two clearly had, he couldn’t help but feel a bit safer than he had even earlier today.

“Hello, Isaac,” Judah murmured, and the smaller man turned to him and nodded, friendly enough. “Judah Daniels. Pastor Judah is fine.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Isaac said, and Judah nodded his acknowledgment of that. It was nice to meet them, both of them, and also nice to hear about Sam and Gunner. It was nice and more of a relief than he would have expected.

“Judah?”

The voice that met his ears then, he would have known anywhere. That smooth, sweet voice that could sound seductive enough to get his blood racing in seconds, or it could sound cold and reserved, as it so often did. But less often, Judah flattered himself, than it had before, at least with him.

“Will.”

It was everything Judah could do not to smile too brightly at the other man. Not to reach out and touch him, even. But the facts were the facts, and none of them had really changed, no matter that there were a surprising number of gay couples who seemed like they were completely accepted.

Will did return the smile that Judah offered, but not like he might have hoped. The man seemed distracted by something, and Judah’s eyes narrowed as he tried his best to read Will’s handsome face.

“Hey, Will,” Ben greeted, and Judah frowned a little bit. He knew that it was a small town, but how did Ben and Will know each other. Seconds later, though, he had his answer. Ruby. Ruby and Stephen were around the same age, so no doubt their parents would know each other.

“Hello, Ben,” Will replied, and Judah took the chance, while they politely chattered, to examine the face of this man. The lips were tight, the eyes likewise, and there was clearly something very much on his mind.

Was it Judah? He hadn’t really talked to Will since the morning sex. Will had fed him coffee when he woke up and then pretty much kicked him out, citing work. And there had been piles of marking around, so it had seemed likely enough to Judah.

But school work couldn’t explain how Will was reacting to him now. How he seemed to be avoiding Judah’s eyes. Eventually, Isaac and Ben wandered off together, arms around each other, and that should have left Will and Judah alone. Only then Sheila came up to them both, chattering away, as was her habit, and when Judah next knew what was going on Will wasn’t by his side anymore.

 

* * *

 

Whatever was on Will’s mind, he wasn’t interested in talking to Judah about it. That was pretty clear early on, and at first, Judah was okay with just giving him his space. After all, Will had come to this event, and that had to mean something, right? If he gave him time, and space, Will would come talk to him.

As the hours dragged on, nothing could seem to distract Judah from it, though. Every time he looked, Will was looking at him, and every time, those dark eyes dropped away the moment Judah let himself meet them. No amount of socializing could take Judah’s mind away from it, no matter how he tried to tell himself that he should. No matter how he chatted to the people of the town, no matter how aware he was that he needed to make a good impression, he was constantly seeking out Will, trying to catch his eye, and never having any success.

It was like Will’s eyes were made of opaque glass. Even when Judah did manage to get a look at him, his gaze seemed to reflect, to glance, right off of the terrifying surface of those eyes.

The strange thing was, it wasn’t like Will seemed to be having a particularly good time. If he had just gotten caught up in a conversation with someone, Judah would have understood that. But he was largely just standing around, only occasionally being approached by the townspeople. And when he was, he spoke to them only briefly, until they, wearing discouraged looks on their faces, withdrew.

None of his business. He didn’t own Will. He and Will had been on exactly one date before, had slept together once, and just because it had meant something to Judah didn’t mean that it would to Will, too. After all, it had been Judah’s first time, not Will’s. And even at the time, when Judah had realized that he was quickly falling in love with Will, he had known that Will would be under no obligation to reciprocate.

Only as he stood there, as people started to leave the church, full and happy, he found that he was able to accept this less and less. Will didn’t have to love him, but shouldn’t he at least not ignore him? It just wasn’t fair.

As he watched, closer and closer to acting every moment, Stephen and Jesse came up to Will and spoke to him briefly. The boys left together, with Sheila trailing along behind them benevolently, and it seemed like a sign to Judah.

Glancing around, he saw what he already knew to be true. People were filing out, and there were only a few left now. In a few moments, pretty much everyone would be gone, and as soon as Will came out of whatever funk he was in, he would realize it, too.

That spurred Judah on. Soon, Will would be gone, and Judah had no idea when, or if, he would see the man again. He would have no idea why Will had come here at all when it seemed like he was miserable to be here. When Judah had seen him, he had thought, or maybe hoped, that Will was there for him, that it was something like a second date, but he wasn’t so sure about that anymore.

“Will.” Judah approached him, seeking out those dark eyes, which were still glassy and impenetrable. No matter how much Judah tried to see into this man’s soul, he couldn’t.

“What’s up, Judah?”

That voice. It seemed cold, uncaring, or maybe just not focused. Judah had been thinking about very little else other than this man, and Will seemed to be utterly lost in his own world. Was it over so fast? Judah had known that it was doomed, but that didn’t mean he was resigned to it being over already.

Just a while longer. Please.

“I need to speak to you in my office,” Judah realized, because if they didn’t get somewhere private, Judah might just end up kissing him, trying to force a response out of him, right out here in the church basement. Most people had gone, but not everyone and that would surely get around town.

For a moment, all Will did was just look at him, and Judah was sure that Will would turn him down flat. But then the other man gave a slight shrug and nodded, and when Judah turned to go up the stairs, with fingers tingling with the urge to touch the other man, Will followed.

The moment that the office door was shut and prudently even locked behind them, Judah was flinging himself at Will, wrapping his arms around him and pushing him against the closed door, just with the weight of his body. His hands cupped Will’s hands like he could somehow hold him tightly enough to make Will feel something, anything, for him, too, and he let out a soft moan that was swallowed by Will’s lips as he kissed him with all of his emotion, unwelcome as he was sure it was, on his own lips.

For a moment, it was like Will wasn’t going to respond, like he was going to push Judah away, probably with one of the cutting remarks that he was so good at. Will hesitated, and Judah pressed up close against him, could feel the tension in his body. Tension that he would do anything to smooth away, even if it meant letting Will go.

Then it passed, and Will’s lips parted, a soft sound coming from them which matched Judah’s perfectly. How, or why, Will’s mind had changed, why he was going for it now, Judah didn’t know, but he also didn’t care.

He wanted to tell Will everything. How he couldn’t think of anything else ever since that night they’d spent together. How his body seemed to constantly be aching, throbbing, full of heat that he didn’t know how to release, not without Will. How Will was in all of his thoughts, how his body, newly awakened to pleasure, couldn’t stop thinking of him.

He had no idea how that, any of that, would go over. So instead, he gave himself to the kiss and immediately started to fumble with Will’s clothing. His hands still weren’t completely comfortable with these motions, but he did his best, and when Will’s pants parted, when they slipped to the ground and Judah found him hot and hard already, he almost could have wept with relief.

There was so much that Judah wanted to ask Will. So much that he had thought that he would ask when they were alone again, but now that they were here, he didn’t dare. Will wanted him now, and that was good enough for him.

At first, too, Will seemed pretty content just to let Judah touch him, but then the older man gave a soft growl and Judah felt his own clothes being removed. Or some of them, anyway. Just as Judah had focused on the pants, so did Will, and it felt like water to a man dying of thirst when their hips met, their erections bare as they slid against each other, kissing feverishly.

At first, it was good. It was more than good, just to rub and be rubbed against, to pin Will against the wall and kiss him and rut against him. Each thrust, though, started to become painful, his balls throbbing and aching, and he knew that this wasn’t really what he wanted. This tension building, it could only be released by being buried deep inside of Will again.

Or by having Will inside of him? But no. Not while things were so uncertain, that was a line that Judah couldn’t cross. He knew already that he would let someone who loved him take him, and no one else.

With a soft gasp, Judah pulled away from the other man, freeing him, though it hurt to do so. The rutting, the ever more frantic thrusting, hadn’t been enough, but it had been something, and his body screamed out for him to keep on going.

Instead, he locked his arm around Will’s waist and tugged him over with him to the desk. A quick glance around the room showed that it was the only piece of furniture in here that could possibly serve, and he brought Will there, not quite sure how he was going to make this work but knowing that he had to.

Will gave him a look that Judah found hard to read, but then he did it, he took over, just as Judah had silently been begging him to do. While Judah watched, his whole body seeming to pulse in time with the beat of his heart, and each heartbeat bringing him closer to the edge of insanity, Will bent over Judah’s desk, his chest pressing against the wood, the sweet curve of his beautiful little ass pushed out as though begging for Judah to touch it.

It wasn’t an invitation that Judah could ignore, nor one that he wanted to. With a soft, still wordless, hiss, Judah stepped up behind him, and his hands traced over the smooth, unblemished, porcelain skin. Part of him had started to wonder if he would ever get to touch him like this again, and his moan was almost as much of relief as it was of desire as he slipped his fingers between the cheeks of Will’s ass.

Only when Judah rubbed over Will’s hole did he realize that there might be a little bit of a problem. He was aching to be inside of Will, but he didn’t exactly keep lube in his church office. It was filthy enough for him to have Will bent over the desk like this, and he took a deep breath, trying to think, trying to figure out a way to make this work.

Slowly, he gripped the cheeks, pulling them apart, and then he did the only thing he could think of. Hadn’t he thought that he wanted to kiss Will all over, taste his whole body? This was his chance, and before he could worry about if this was the way things were done, he was bent over and licking at Will’s tight, puckered hole.

Clean skin met his tongue, thankfully, but that wasn’t that shocking. Will kept himself very clean. What was more surprising was the soft gasp, then the desperate little moan that Will let out. The other man liked this, didn’t he? What did it feel like? From the noises that Will made, it was good.

Slowly, carefully, Judah prepared Will, and when he sunk his fingers inside of him, Will opened up easily to him. Still, Judah fought off his impatience, and only when he absolutely had to, when he felt like he might die if he didn’t have him, did he quickly coat his own cock in his saliva until it glistened and positioned himself at the entrance to his body.

“Is this okay …?” Judah started, the first words that they had said since they made it into this office, but Will just made an impatient little sound in response. Judah still hesitated, right on the brink of taking what he wanted, but he couldn’t quite make himself do it. He loved Will too much to do it unless he was completely sure.

“Fuck me,” Will finally gasped, and the sheer need in his voice stripped away all doubt. With a groan, Judah pushed his hips, and his well-slicked cock slid into Will’s tight ass, feeling the desperate grip of the other man around him.

It would be nice if he had the patience to go slow, to really enjoy this. But the entire day had been spent in a state of something very close to uncertainty, and now that he had Will again he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to hold back. He let out a sound that was closer to a whimper than anything else, and under him, Will was gasping and giving these incredibly quiet, but very beautiful, little cries of need.

It was almost rough, in the end, which wasn’t even how Judah wanted it to be. He wanted to pull Will closer to him, but this, this was just about sex, wasn’t it? Well, if this was what Will wanted him for, he would at least do his best to be good at that.

He knew the angles now. They had been together only a few times, but he had learned how to push inside of Will so that each thrust massaged deliberately against his prostate. At first, the different angle messed him up, and he couldn’t find it, but then he pressed in and heard Will’s gasp, and he found that this position actually made it, if anything, easier.

Almost immediately, Will was coming for him, spilling his pearly white seed onto Judah’s desk. Once Judah was inside of Will, the whole thing lasted maybe a minute, maybe less. Then, the spasms, the convulsions, of Will’s climaxing body inexorably pulled Judah over the edge, too.

Immediately, some of the tension was gone from his body. The part of him that was obsessed with sex, that part could relax, but that wasn’t all of him. Or even most of him, a little bit to his surprise. Now that the heat had dissipated a little bit, he found himself looking down at Will and wishing that he could look into his eyes instead of at the back of his dark head.

But then, even when Judah pulled out, and Will did turn around, Judah found that his eyes still couldn’t penetrate those glossy, glazed eyes.