TWENTY FIVE

 

It seemed sort of farcical for Judah to try to preach a sermon after what had just happened, and honestly, for once in his life, he doubted he would be able to focus, anyway. He was far too aware of the man at his side, of his warmth and life and presence, and honestly, he didn’t want to be away from him for the hour that it would take for him to rush through a service that he knew he wouldn’t do justice to.

“Go now in peace,” he said, and for the first time, the words were not nearly as solemn as they were supposed to be. Of course, for the first time, he also had a man by his side, which was unusual, to say the least.

No one even seemed surprised by his abrupt dismissal, and very few people seemed to be upset about it. There were a few little blue-haired old ladies who stuck their noses up in the air and stalked out, but that was about it.

For the most part, the entire congregation moved en masse out of the Sanctuary and down the stairs into the basement. There, he found himself separated from Will, and maybe that would annoy him a little bit more if not for the fact that the person who pulled Will away from Judah was Stephen.

From what Judah had heard, Stephen and his dad had some talking to do, and he was quickly distracted. Ben, Isaac, they both wanted to congratulate him, acting like he and Will had gotten married or something instead of just publicly declaring their affections. Sam and Gunner replaced them, and then Sheila, and it just continued from there.

Everyone wanted to share their opinion on the matter, it seemed, and the general reaction was one of celebration, or maybe it was more relief. People had been wondering about why he wasn’t married yet, and now, they had their answer. It seemed like the good people of this town had just wanted to know what was going on, for the most part.

A few people were a tiny bit pointed in their comments, but no one was outright rude. As much of a miracle as it seemed to him, these people were accepting him. There was no outcry, no calling for him to be kicked out of their church, their town, or even to be defrocked and removed from the Ministry.

Which he knew was potentially something that could happen, but that was a bridge that he could cross if and when it became necessary. For now, he basked in the warm sea of the approval and support of his friends and his congregation.

He was actually so distracted by it that when someone came up behind him, he didn’t even notice at first. It was only when the sweet old lady that he was speaking with gave him an understanding smile and backed away that he had any idea anything was going on.

And the voice took him by surprise.

“So, I’m your boyfriend, am I?” he heard, and he would have been able to hear that honey-smooth voice through any crowd of people, no matter how loud they were. And the church basement was packed enough, everyone drinking coffee or tea and chatting as the kids drank juice and wove through what had to seem to them to be a forest of grown-up legs.

“I am.” Judah was facing away from Will, and even when he tried to look over his shoulder, he wasn’t able to see him, so he couldn’t read his face. He added cautiously, “I mean, I am if you want me to be.”

Slender, strong arms slid around his waist, tugging him close, and Judah felt something that he had been so sure he had lost forever. He felt the warm press of Will’s arms around him, the way his body nuzzled against him from behind as he was pulled into an embrace. And the really amazing thing was, they were surrounded by people and yet no one was complaining. They all already knew.

He should have come out a long time ago. He should have taken that step forward, that leap of faith, because he had an idea that these people would have been there to catch him the whole time.

What a strange, wonderful thought.

“Just shut up,” Will murmured, but there was no malice, no anger, in his voice. Instead, he sounded more amused than anything else, and his arm stayed firmly around Judah’s waist like it belonged there as he pulled Judah aside.

It was just a little nook of the basement, nowhere really, truly private, but they were left alone there. Maybe no one saw them go. More likely, they were being given the privacy. Either way, it was too loud elsewhere in the basement for anyone to hear them. That was good enough for Judah.

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Will started, gesturing over to where at least one person was watching them anxiously. Stephen was ignoring Ruby and Jesse both, even though they were standing right there, to watch Will and Judah, like he could somehow hear what they were saying just through sheer willpower.

“Of course.” Judah hesitated for a moment, but it was really the perfect opening, and he had certainly gotten into trouble by not talking to each other. They both had. If this was going to work, they were both going to need to get over that habit. “He came to tell me a rather remarkable story.”

Will sighed, but his smile was fond as he looked over at his son for a moment.

“It’s probably true, but there’re things that he doesn’t know.” Will took a deep breath, and then his eyes shifted back to Judah’s, and he kept on speaking.

“Jack was over. I’m sure that he told you that, but it wasn’t what it has to seem like. It never was.” He looked at Judah as though it was absolutely critical that he believed him, and Judah found that he did. He nodded, and Will kept going. “He called me from the bar. He was drunk. I didn’t know where he was staying.”

Those few words painted a vivid picture, and Judah felt his shoulders relax. He had been aware on some level that Will wouldn’t have ever come here to see him at all if he and Jack were together, but it was still a huge relief to hear the words.

“I understand,” Judah told him, and he did. No matter what Jack’s relationship was with Will now, he was still a human being, and it sounded like he was still suffering. Gently, he reached over, his touch almost a question as he took Will’s hand into his own.

“Do you?” Impatience was in his grasp as Will gripped Judah’s hand, lacing their fingers together with a sort of desperation that Judah found even more comforting. He wasn’t alone in this. “Because I don’t. I’ve picked up after him long enough. Besides, he lied to me. He told me that he was sober. I’m done with him.”

Judah hadn’t been about to insist on that, but he couldn’t deny that he thought it was a good idea. He squeezed Will’s fingers, felt the way they tightened around his in return.

“I mean it. I told Jack I would get a restraining order if I had to,” Will insisted, not that Judah had expressed any doubt on the matter. And he probably would have gone on, so clearly desperate for Judah to believe him that it was over with Jack.

Only Judah did believe him. He knew this man to be honest, and fair, and ethical, and it was unthinkable that he would lie. So he leaned in and kissed him, just a light little brush of his lips which nevertheless had him tingling for more. But there were limits, and people might not be outright watching, but they were around, and Judah was sure they had a few eyes on them.

“I’m sorry,” Judah whispered, their lips still almost together, just a fraction of an inch from brushing together. Judah could feel the heat radiating off of his boyfriend’s body. “I never should have left you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Will agreed, but there was a smile on his lips and a gleam of something like mischief in his eyes. “But then, I should have told you about Jack. I just didn’t know what we were doing. So I’m sorry, too.”

Just like that, it seemed, everything was forgiven. And everything had been made official, too, he and Will were actually, truly together, something that had seemed so impossible to Judah even a few months ago when he’d still been desperately clinging to that secret with everything in him. Looking back at it now, though, he could see how it had been fraying, wearing thin, even before he’d met Will.

One more brief kiss, and then, hand in hand, the two of them went off into the sea of people that was Judah’s congregation. The atheist and the man of faith, together at last, and even though Judah had known all along that it couldn’t work, somehow it worked perfectly.